Here are 5 common reasons why a woman will break up with a guy for that reason:
1. She’s just using that as an excuse to not have to tell you that she isn’t attracted to you anymore
At one point, she felt enough attraction for you to want to be in a relationship, but that spark has long since died and she no longer feels as though a relationship is necessary.
Initially, when you first met, she may have been thinking something like, “I really like him! He’s cool, interesting to hang out with and we have fun when we’re together. I feel so good when I’m with him. I think we could be happy in a relationship.”
She then opened herself up to being in a relationship with you.
If you then failed to build on those initial feelings of respect and attraction (e.g. because you assumed that she would remain attracted because she felt that way at the start of the relationship), she will have eventually began to question whether or not she should stick with you for life.
Yet, rather than breaking up with you for real and then having to deal with you trying to talk her out of her decision (e.g. by promising her that you will change, begging and pleading with her to give you another chance, offering to do anything she wants), she went for the classic break up excuse of saying that she needs to focus more on her studies.
By giving you that excuse, you really can’t argue with her about it (i.e. because you probably won’t want to come across as being an insensitive, selfish jerk who doesn’t respect her long-term dreams and aspirations).
As a result, she can then get out of the relationship without you making a big fuss about it.
Another reason why she might have said that to you is because…
2. You need too much of her time
Sometimes, a guy doesn’t know how to behave in a relationship with a woman (e.g. because he is inexperienced, he never had a strong male role model when growing up, it’s his first serious relationship, he has watched too many romantic comedy movies and is copying the behavior of characters from those movies).
As a result, sometimes a guy will assumes that he has to spend all of his spare time with her to show her how much he loves her.
If he has any free time (e.g. an hour for lunch from work or university, a day off, evenings, weekends), he insists on spending that time with her, or at least using the time to text her or call her to see what she’s up to.
Alternatively, he might send her texts or social media messages to let her know what he’s up to, just so she doesn’t ever have to worry.
Over time, he also begins to expect her to do the same thing for him and if she doesn’t, he starts to worry that she might be straying or losing interest.
He might try to justify his actions by thinking something like, “I never want my girl to feel like she’s not the most important thing in my life. Nothing else matters to me as much as her…not even my career, interests, hobbies or even my old friends. She comes first in my life now and I have no intention of spending any time apart from her unless I absolutely have to (e.g. when I’m at work). Besides, I’ve seen how badly some guys treat their women and I never want my girl to feel insecure about my love for her. I want us to be close. I don’t want anyone else coming between us. So, I have to make sure that we are in constant contact with each other, or are with each other in person whenever it’s possible.”
Although his intentions are good, the truth is that a woman doesn’t want to be a man’s sole reason for living and she doesn’t want to feel responsible for his emotional state in a relationship.
Additionally, she doesn’t want to feel as though she is under his control and has to now live up to his strict standards of always being in contact with each other.
She just wants to relax and be in love, even if that means they don’t speak to each other for a day and she then has a chance to miss him and send him a text, rather than always feeling like she has to reply to his never-ending, persistent texts.
So, even though a woman wants her guy to be loving and attentive and make her feel like the most important person in his life, she doesn’t want to feel smothered by him and feel as though he survive without her constant presence in his life.
Naturally, if a woman comes to the realization that her guy is taking up too much of her time due to his neediness or inexperience at being in a relationship, it will begin to turn her off.
She will also begin to resent him when she realizes that she never has time to focus on other things that are important to her.
As a result, she will eventually get to the point where she breaks up with him and takes the time she needs for herself (e.g. to focus on her studies, hang out with friends again).
This is why it’s always essential that you maintain the right balance in a relationship with a woman.
Be there for her, but don’t be everywhere, at all times.
Let her breathe a little.
If you made the mistake of smothering her in the relationship by needing too much of her time, you can fix it.
It’s almost always never too late to fix your issues and re-attract your ex…
Another common reason why a woman might break up with you to focus on her studies is because…
3. The relationship became too stressful
For example: Here are some common ways that a guy will make his woman feel stressed in a relationship…
- Not maturing as fast as her and making her feel like she needs to mother him.
- Expecting her to put the relationship with him ahead of her personal dreams, goals and aspirations.
- Being annoying when she does spend time with her (e.g. accusing her of being interested in other guys, getting into arguments with her if she is being distant, being childish when she just wants to relax, unwind and be with a more mature kind of guy).
- Becoming needy and clingy to the point where she feels like being with him is hard work.
- Wanting to spend lots of quality time with her (e.g. going out for long dates, talking for hours and hours in person or on the phone).
- Wanting to hang out and just do nothing, or watch lots of TV when she wants to focus on her studies.
- Making her guilty for not wanting to spend all of her time with him.
- Turning her against her friends, so she stops spending as much time with them.
- Making her feel guilty if she doesn’t make him feel loved and wanted all the time.
In situations like that, a woman will eventually will get tired of how much effort seems to be required to be in a relationship with her guy.
So, rather than continuing to deal with the stress, she will break up with him to then focus more on herself and her needs.
Another common reason why a woman might break up with you to focus on her studies is because…
4. She just wants casual sex, rather than the responsibilities of a committed relationship
In some cases, a woman might hook up with a guy that she doesn’t feel completely compatible with, simply because she likes the idea of having someone available to her for sex, or to go out with when she wants.
However, deep down she may not be interested in taking on the role of being a serious girlfriend to him.
If her boyfriend doesn’t understand that, (e.g. he keeps talking about moving in together/getting married/starting a family), she will usually just break up with him.
However, rather than hurt him by admitting that she was with him for a bit of quick fun, she will say something along the lines of, “I really do care for you, but I need to focus more on my studies. Maybe one day in the future when I’ve graduated from school/university we can look at getting back together.”
This allows him to hold on to the hope that he may get her back, while she secretly works on finding herself a replacement guy to fulfill her sexual needs, without taking on the responsibilities that come with being in a committed relationship.
Another common reason why a woman might break up with you to focus on her studies is because…
5. She wants to find a new boyfriend. She’s just saying that she wants to focus on her studies, so you give her space to find a new guy
When a woman realizes that she no longer has feelings for her guy, she might decide to start looking for another guy to replace him.
Yet, rather than come out and tell her guy that he’s not the one for her, she gives him the excuse of needing to focus on her studies as a way of letting him down gently.
Essentially, she wants to avoid him trying to stop the break up by saying things like, “Just give me one more chance. I know that I can be the guy you want me to be. Just tell me what you want me to do and I will do it. I’ll do whatever it takes to make you happy. Please don’t go! Please give our relationship a chance.”
So, she doesn’t say, “Hey, I’m breaking up with you because I no longer have feelings for you.”
Instead, she says something like, “I need to focus on my studies. Please give me time and space. We can talk again later, but for now I want to just focus on university. It’s important to me.”
He will then feel the need to respect her reason for the break up, which will then allow her to quietly begin to find a new guy without the added stress of an ex trying to convince her change her mind about the break up.
4 Mistakes That Some Guys Make When They Get Broken Up With By a Woman Who Says She Wants to Focus On Her Studies
Regardless of the reason why your ex broke up with you (e.g. she sincerely want to focus on her studies, she wants to find a new man, the relationship became too stressful for her), if you want her back, you have to focus on reactivating her sexual feelings for you.
That is what works.
When your ex starts to feel surges of respect and sexual attraction for the new and improved you, she will become more open to finding another solution to her problem (i.e. not having enough time to study), rather than just breaking up with you.
However, for her to get to that point, you need to make sure that everything you say and do from now on is turning her on, rather than turning her off.
Unfortunately, most guys don’t realize that, so they end up making one or more of the following mistakes, which only pushes their ex girl away even further…
1. Saying that he will wait for her no matter how long it takes
When a woman breaks up with a guy using the old “I need to focus on my studies” excuse, it’s easy for him to misjudge the seriousness of the situation.
Rather than quickly changing the things that have been turning her off and then interacting with her to re-attract her and seduce her back into a relationship, he instead holds onto the hope that once her studies are finished or are under control again, she will come back to him again and everything will be fine.
So, he might say to her, “Look, I understand how important your education is to you and I would never want to stand in the way of you graduating. I love you and I only want what’s best for you. So, take all the time you need to finish your studies. I promise that I will wait for you, no matter how long it takes.”
He’s hoping that she will be impressed by his devotion to her and will come running back to him as soon as she graduates.
Yet, rather than feel flattered that he’s willing to wait for her, a woman will often feel turned off by what she perceives as his emotional dependence on her.
Here’s the thing…
Although a woman definitely does appreciate a man who is loving and supportive of her dreams, she doesn’t want him to put his life on hold for her, especially if she is lying about her reasons for breaking up with him.
Additionally, if she knows that he will struggle to attract a new girlfriend (i.e. because he got lucky when he met her), she will assume that he is clinging onto her and willing to wait as long as it takes because he won’t have any other options.
That’s not attractive to a woman.
Women are attracted to men who can easily attract other women, but are choosing them.
If a guy can’t attract other women and is clinging onto the one attractive woman who gave him a chance, she feels as though she has to get rid of him because he is lower value than her.
Women don’t like to trade down in terms of the social value of their man, especially if the woman is attractive.
If a woman is unattractive, she will be happy to trade down for a while and then dump her guy.
However, if a woman is attractive, she will feel the need to use her attractiveness to trade up in social value (i.e. have a guy who can easily attract other women because he is confident and charismatic).
So, if you want your girlfriend to give you another chance, don’t tell her you’re going to wait around for her indefinitely.
Instead, accept her decision (i.e. by being supportive of her need to focus on her studies) and then focus on having a fun life without her.
Note: This doesn’t mean that you ignore her for weeks or months and secretly wait around for her to hopefully change her mind.
Instead, immediately begin enjoying your life without her and then let her see how confident, happy and forward moving you are in life whenever you interact with her.
Don’t brag to her, of course.
Just genuinely get on with enjoying life without her and as a result, she will naturally see that you are a high value man who is liked by others and has the confidence to enjoy life with or without her in it.
When a guy doesn’t understand that about women, he fears that his ex woman will get angry if she sees that he is enjoying life without her.
Yes, she might fake that she is angry, but she won’t genuinely be angry.
The fact is that women are more attracted to confident men who don’t actually need them.
If you come across as though you need her to be with you, in order for you to feel confident or to feel okay as a man in this world, she will avoid you like the plague.
So, immediately begin enjoying your life without her.
When she can see that you’re happy, confident and getting on with your life without her, she will naturally begin to feel drawn to you again, even if she doesn’t openly admit it.
Even if she tries to fight it within herself, you will automatically seem more attractive to her and she will then begin to wonder things like, “Maybe I can balance my studies and a relationship after all. Maybe we can be together again without me sacrificing my dreams. Why am I feeling drawn to him like this? Why do I suddenly want him back? I don’t want to lose him. If I do, I won’t be able to concentrate on my studies. I have to give him another chance.”
Another mistake that guys often make when in your situation is…
2. Sulking and seeking pity
Sometimes a guy might sulk, whine or even cry about the break up to his girlfriend as a way of hopefully making her feel sorry for him and feel guilty about the pain he is experiencing.
For example: He might say to her, “How could you do this to me? I know your studies are important to you, but does that mean you should discard me like I don’t even matter to you? How can you put everything else in your life above me? Don’t you even care that I love you and that I have given up everything up for you? Nothing is more important to me than you. Well, now I know the same didn’t apply in terms of your feelings about me. I’m clearly an expendable, unimportant thing in your life. Well, thank you for making me feel worthless like this. Here I was giving you my all…and for what? I never really mattered to you at all, did I? I just don’t understand how what we shared seems to have meant nothing to you. Well, I won’t stand in the way of your dreams. Go ahead and focus on your studies. I hope that you find happiness without me. As for me…I will always love you and care about you. I will always think of you as being the most important person in my life. That’s just the kind of guy I am.”
Yet, rather than make a woman think, “Damn, he has a point. I really am being selfish and self-centered to be giving up a man who loves me so much. Why should I focus on myself and what I want? My studies aren’t that important. He is the most important thing to me” she will feel annoyed that he is trying to make her feel guilty for making her dreams and goals a priority.
As a result, she will lose even more respect for him and close herself even more.
So, if you really want to get your ex girlfriend back, don’t bother trying to make her feel pity for you.
Instead, focus on reawakening her feelings of respect and sexual attraction for you, so she naturally feels drawn to you and becomes open to giving the relationship another chance for her own reasons.
Another mistake that other guys make when in your situation is…
3. Saying that he is willing to only see her once a week or whenever she can
When a woman breaks up with a guy using the reason of, “I need to focus more on my studies,” some guys will make the mistake of bending over backwards to accommodate her schedule, in the hope that it makes her give him one more chance.
For example: A guy might say, “I understand how important your studies are to you and I would never want to get in the way of that. I want you to realize that I will support you all the way with your dreams. Just because you’re going through a tough time with university, it doesn’t mean that it has to be the end of us. So, how about we only meet up once a week when it suits you? I’d be willing to take a back seat to your studies for now. I know that you won’t be busy like this forever. This way, you can focus on getting through school/university and we can still be together. What do you say? Won’t you at least consider that? Please think about it. I really can’t bear the thought of losing you. I love you more than anything. Please don’t end this because you’re busy with your studies.”
That can work if the woman doesn’t really want to break up, but if she is honestly trying to get out the relationship for good and is just using her studies as an excuse, she isn’t going to agree to it.
Additionally, a woman doesn’t want to be in a position where her boyfriend is so desperate not to lose her that he is willing to see her only when she wants to see him.
If a woman feels like she’s holding all the cards in the relationship (i.e. she has control over you), she just won’t be able to respect you anymore.
If she can’t respect you, she won’t be able to feel sexually attracted to you and without those two things, being in a relationship with you doesn’t seem that appealing to her at all.
So, don’t become a doormat for your ex girlfriend to walk all over as a way of hopefully getting her back.
Another mistake that guys often make in your situation is…
4. Getting angry at her for leaving him and walking away from what they had together
In some cases, when a woman breaks up with a guy to focus on her studies, he might get angry at her for putting herself first.
For example: He angrily accuses her of being selfish, loses his temper or sends her angry or irritated texts.
Unfortunately, getting angry with an ex girlfriend doesn’t accomplish anything other than to push you further apart.
So, even though you might feel justified to react angrily towards your ex in some way, it’s unlikely to make her see things from your point of view.
Instead, she will likely see your anger as another sign that she made the right decision to break up with you (i.e. because you’re now coming across as a scary, abusive ex boyfriend and she doesn’t want anything more to do with you).
So, if you truly want to get her back, the best way to go about it is by showing her what she will be losing if she doesn’t give you another chance.
One way of doing that is by maintaining control of your emotions around her no matter what she says or does.
As a result, she will realize that you are being the kind of man she can look up to, respect and feel proud to be with.
When she realizes that you are in control of your emotions (e.g. you are confident, calm, emotionally masculine and supportive, but not a pushover), she will start to feel drawn to you in a way that feels good to her.
She will see that you aren’t so bad after all and if she were to leave you behind, she would end up regretting it and then not being able to focus on her studies.
Then, the idea of balancing her studies with a relationship with you will start to be something that she really wants to do.