4 possible reasons why:
1. She isn’t attracted to you anymore, so she doesn’t see any reason why she should even try
Most relationships start off with lots of sexual and romantic attraction between the man and the woman.
For example: The guy will usually be on his best behavior and display characteristics and personality traits that are naturally attractive to women (e.g. he is confident and self-assured, he is charming and charismatic, he is emotionally masculine and makes her feel sexy and desirable in his presence).
He also gives his woman his undivided attention and compliments her on her appearance, sends her romantic texts, takes her on romantic dinner dates and generally makes her feel special and loved.
At the same time, the woman will put in the effort to look beautiful for him (e.g. she dresses in sexy clothes, wears makeup and does her hair, works out to keep in shape) and be a good, loving, attentive woman as well.
However, as time goes by and the relationship becomes comfortable, the guy might begin to slack off and begin treating his woman more like his friend, or roommate, rather than the like the desirable, sexy woman she was to him at the start of the relationship.
When that happens, the spark of sexual attraction that was originally there between them starts to fade away.
This makes her feel like pulling away, being closed off and treating him with less and less respect over time.
Initially, she might try to spice things up between them (e.g. by buying some sexy lingerie or wearing sexier clothes) to make herself more attractive to him, in the hope that he will go back to treating her like an attractive, desirable woman again.
However, if he fails to do that and remains firmly in his comfort zone where he continues to treat her like his buddy, she may begin thinking things like, “The spark in our relationship is dead. All we ever do these days is watch TV, eat take out food, or go out with friends. All the romantic dinners, sexy text messages and exiting stuff we used to do together doesn’t exist anymore. Not only that, he doesn’t even notice me anymore. I might as well just let myself go for all the attention he gives me. He never even notices that I always try to look good for him. There was a time when he couldn’t keep his hands off me and would compliment me about my appearance, but now he doesn’t even notice me. I can’t take it anymore! I’m tired of feeling like his buddy or roommate. I want to feel like a real woman again. I want to feel sexy and noticed.”
She will then likely decide to break up with him and find a man who makes her feel the way she wants to feel in a relationship (e.g. attracted, desirable, sexy, turned on).
If the guy then tries to get her back by being nice and sweet and treating her like a neutral friend (e.g. because he doesn’t want to scare her off), rather than give him another chance, she will likely just keep pushing him away and saying things like, “No, I don’t want to get back together again,” or “I’m sorry but I just don’t feel like we can work things out.”
So, if your girlfriend isn’t even trying to get your relationship back together, it could be because you stopped making her feel like a feminine, girly, sexy woman around you.
Don’t worry though.
If you want her back, you can begin to make her feel that way from now on.
When you do, she will automatically start to feel drawn to you again, even if she initially tries to deny that it’s happening to her.
So, from this moment onwards, make sure that every interaction you have with her (e.g. over the phone and especially when you see her in person), you’re actively sparking her feelings of sexual attraction for you by making her feel sexy and desirable, rather than just being a nice, polite, neutral friend to her.
Remember: Even if she pretends that she doesn’t like it when you flirt with her and create sexual tension between you, deep down she will be feeling drawn to you in a way that feels good to her.
As a result, her walls will begin to crumble and she then becomes open to hanging out with you more, to see if you’re going to continue sparking her feelings for you, or revert back to your comfort zone.
Then, when she sees that the changes are for real and that you’re not going to make the mistake of treating her like a friend again, she will want to be your girl once more.
Another possible reason why your girlfriend isn’t even trying to get your relationship back together is…
2. She’s tired of trying to make the relationship work
Most women like the idea of being with a man who knows how to create a relationship dynamic that causes her to want to be good to him, treat him well and be affectionate and loving towards him, while he also treats her well and makes her feel loved and appreciated at the same time.
So, if she then notices that she always seems to be the one putting in the effort to make the relationship work, while he has the mindset that because they love each other he doesn’t have to do anything more, she will start to feel unhappy and like she’s being taken for granted (e.g. she’s the first one to apologize and initiate a reconciliation after they have an argument while he sulks and mopes for days on end, she’s always taking care of the household and cleaning up after him while he never seems to pull his weight, she is the responsible one who tries to budget so they can pay the bills and live a comfortable life while he spends their savings without discussing it with her).
If she then also happens to notice how happy and at ease her girlfriends, coworkers, sisters or cousins are in their relationships with their guys, she may begin to wonder things like, “Why am I wasting my time trying to make things work with a man who can’t be bothered to take our relationship as seriously as me? Why should everyone else around me have a relationship that works naturally and isn’t so stressful and draining?”
So, rather than continuing to deal with the stress, she will break up with him to then focus more on herself and her needs.
If the guy then tries to convince her to get back together again, she just isn’t interested.
He may then feel confused and hurt and think things like, “Why isn’t she even trying to get our relationship back together? Why doesn’t she care? All she has to do is tell me what she wants me to do and I will do it!”
Yet, here’s the thing…
Women know that some men are aware of how to manage a relationship properly, so she doesn’t feel like it’s fair that she has to be the one who does all the work and has to help her man become the man he should be.
So, rather than get back with him and have to deal with him constantly relapsing into old patterns of negative behavior (e.g. insecurity, jealousy, laziness, immaturity), she will try to just find herself a man who already has it together.
This is why, if you want your girlfriend to give you another chance, you have to change and improve in some of the ways that matter to her, before you try to convince her to give the relationship another shot.
Then, you need to interact with her and let her experience the new and improved you, without trying to get her back.
Just allow her to feel attracted to how different (e.g. confident, assertive, driven, emotionally mature) you are now.
When she experiences the new you, she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling drawn to you again in new and interesting ways.
She then wants to explore her new feelings for you, rather than walk away and regret losing you.
Another possible reason why your girlfriend isn’t even trying to get your relationship back together is…
3. She fell out of love with you a while ago, so she had already prepared herself to be ready to move on
In most cases, a woman will fall in love with a guy because he displays the qualities and personality traits that she is looking for in a man (e.g. he comes across as being confident and emotionally strong, he makes her feel like a sexy, desirable woman when she’s with him, he takes the lead and arranges dates, he seems emotionally mature and like he knows what he wants in life).
Yet, when she gets into a relationship with him, she then discovers that the man she fell in love with isn’t who she thought he was.
For example: She realized that…
His confidence was just an act and as soon as he had her, he began to feel insecure about his attractiveness and value to her and worry that she would leave him.
This then caused him to become clingy, needy and possessive, making her feel smothered and trapped.
Despite taking the lead initially (e.g. in pursuing her, arranging dates, making decisions for the both of them), once in the relationship with her, he handed his power over to her and essentially let her call the shots.
If she resisted and asked him to decide something, he just brushed her off by saying something along the lines of, “I just want what you want. I’m happy with whatever decision you make.”
Despite making her feel sexy and desirable at the beginning of the relationship, he now treats her more like a friend or a roommate than anything else.
As a result, the spark fizzles out of the relationship and she stops feeling sexually attracted to him.
Although he seemed like an emotionally mature guy initially, she soon began to notice that he was actually irresponsible and childish.
Rather than focus on his goals/work/studies, he preferred to party with his friends or sit around playing video games and had no interest in making progress in his life.
This caused her to feel unsure of her future with him.
The more she noticed that he wasn’t living up to the man she believed him to be, the more her feelings of respect, attraction and love began to fade away.
She will then begin closing herself off, pulling away from him and start moving on in her mind and imagining herself with a new man.
Then, by the time she decides to break up with him for real, she is already prepared to put the relationship with him behind her and move on.
If the guy then tries to get her back, she’s not going to be interested, because she has already disconnected from her feelings for him.
So, while he is still dealing with the shock of the break up and thinking about how much he loves her and wants to get her back, she has already dealt with the break up and is ready to get on with her life without him in it.
In a situation like this, if you want to get your girlfriend back, you have to stop trying to get her to want a relationship and start re-sparking her sexual and romantic feelings for you.
Remember: The first step of the ex back process is re-attraction, not a relationship.
You can get her back very quickly, but you’ve got to approach it properly, one quick and simple step at a time.
Another possible reason why your girlfriend isn’t even trying to get your relationship back together is…
4. She is now free to be her real self and it feels good
When a woman initially falls in love with a guy, she will usually ignore negative things about him.
She might even tell herself things like, “It’s not so bad. I’m sure he will eventually see what he’s doing wrong and change,” or “He’s only behaving like that because he loves me so much. I’m lucky to have a man who cares for me the way that he does.”
Yet, over time, when she realizes the guy’s behavior is making her think, feel, talk and behave in ways that are not who she is deep down inside, she may begin to resent him.
For example: A guy might feel that his woman is too good for him, to the point where he becomes controlling, jealous and forces her to be a lesser version of herself so as not to trigger his insecurities (e.g. he insists that she doesn’t wear any make up, look at other guys, or talk to single female friends, expects her to be on her best behavior around him at all times and to regularly reassure him of her love and dedication to him and the relationship).
She then might begin thinking things like, “Look at what I’ve become. I used to be so happy, carefree and relaxed as a person and now I’m always worried about saying or doing something wrong and causing him to get angry and start a fight with me. I don’t even look the way I used to. I’m this ugly mess and all because he can’t handle me looking attractive in case another guy notices me. Is this how I want to live the rest of my life? Why am I putting up with this? I deserve to be who I want to be!”
When she realizes that he has been causing her personality to change in ways that she doesn’t like, she will then break up with him and focus on reconnecting with her old self again.
The guy might then try to get her back, only to feel frustrated and annoyed when she doesn’t seem interested.
Yet, here’s the thing…
Event though her reluctance to try and get the relationship back together doesn’t make much sense to him, it makes complete sense to her.
She feels free again and as though she can be her real self at long last.
At the same time, nothing that he’s saying or doing is making her want to give up her new-found freedom to be with him again.
Of course, that doesn’t mean she will stick to her decision to be broken up if he quickly changes and improves and shows her via his attitude, actions, behavior and the way he treats her that he’s a new and improved man.
When she can see for herself that being with him won’t change her into someone she doesn’t want to be (e.g. stressed out, angry, repressed), but instead makes her an even better version of herself (e.g. happy, vivacious, outgoing), she will be more open to forgiving him and giving him another chance.
This is why, if you want your girlfriend to feel motivated to try to get your relationship back together, you need to make sure you’re offering her a better attraction experience than before (i.e. by changing and improving some of the things that were turning her off and showing her that you’re a new man now).
However, if you continue to make the same mistakes you made before (e.g. being too controlling and possessive, taking her for granted, being insecure and needy, not being manly enough), she’s naturally going to be happier without you and she’s just going to keep saying “No,” to getting your relationship back together.
Where Some Guys Go Wrong When Attempting to Convince an Ex Woman to Get a Relationship Back Together
For a woman to feel motivated to get back with her ex, she needs to see proof (i.e. in the way he acts, thinks, behaves and interacts with her) that he’s really changed and improved in the ways that are important to her.
Unfortunately, some guys only make things worse by behaving in even more unattractive ways and turning her off some more.
For example: Some common mistakes that guys make with an ex girlfriend who won’t try to get the relationship back together are…
1. Thinking that she is being heartless or selfish
What’s really happening is that there’s nothing for her to come back to.
She isn’t attracted and he isn’t changing his approach to make her feel attracted.
He’s essentially just offering her the same thing and expecting a different reaction from her.
As a result, she doesn’t feel like she’ll be getting anything out of being in a relationship with him (i.e. she doesn’t feel respect, attraction or love for him) and so she pushes him away and focuses on moving on.
So, if you want your ex to give you another chance, make sure you’re making her feel the way she wants to feel when she interacts with you (e.g. attracted, respectful, excited).
If you keep offering her the same old attraction experience as before, don’t be surprised at her lack of interest.
Another common mistake that guys make with an ex girlfriend who won’t try to get the relationship back together is…
2. Feeling entitled to a relationship with her
Think about how you would feel if you broke up with a girlfriend because she kept turning you off.
What if she then felt entitled to a relationship because of your history together?
It actually makes her sound selfish, right?
That’s how your ex is feeling with your approach right now.
Here’s the thing…
Even if you and your girlfriend once talked about being together forever, none of that matters anymore if she has lost touch with her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you.
That was then and this is now.
So, if she no longer feels the same way, she’s also not required to try and get your relationship back together again, just because you and her once shared a special connection.
As a result, if you keep pushing her, you will be the one who comes across as selfish and she will likely close herself off from you even more.
Then getting her back becomes more difficult for you, because she doesn’t want to talk to you over the phone or see you in person.
Another common mistake that guys make with an ex girlfriend who won’t try to get the relationship back together is…
3. Not realizing that it’s not her responsibility to get the relationship back together
People are allowed to do whatever they want.
There is no rule that says a woman must try to get back with a guy that she dumped.
So, when a woman breaks up with a guy who has ruined her feelings for him, she will usually try to move on without him.
What she most-likely won’t do, is feel the need to get the relationship back together again.
As far as she’s concerned, there’s no reason for her to want him back, so she focuses instead on fully getting over him and moving on.
So, if you want your girlfriend back, don’t sit around hoping she’s going to make it easy for you to get her back.
Instead, she will likely sit back and wait to see if you’re emotionally strong enough to take on the leading role in the ex back process.
If you do, she will be able to respect you again.
When she respects you, she will feel attracted to you and she will then feel motivated to get the relationship back together.
On the other hand, if you wait around hoping that she will be the leader, she will lose even more respect for you for not having the balls to do what it takes to get her back.
When that happens, she will lose even more interest in the idea of getting back with you and focus her attention instead on moving on and finding a replacement guy who is man enough to lead the way in a relationship with her.
This is why, if you want her back, you’ve got to be man enough to take the lead and make things happen, rather than wait for her to do it for you.
Want Her Back FAST?
Watch a secret video by Dan Bacon where he reveals the fastest way to get your ex back.
It's only available here. Enter your email below to watch the video for FREE right now.
