Here are 7 of the most common reasons why a woman will leave her boyfriend, due to him not making enough time for her.
Plus, how to get her back asap!
1. He was overly focused on his career, business or studies to the point where she felt unimportant in his life
Generally speaking, a woman appreciates it when her man has much more going on in his life than just hanging out with her.
So, if he’s striving to reach his true potential as a man and is working hard to make progress in his career or his studies, she’s usually going to feel proud of him and she’s going to appreciate that he’s a man of purpose.
However, when a man doesn’t make her feel important or necessary enough in his life, she will start to feel neglected and unappreciated.
She may then start to think things like, “Why am I putting up with this? I’m sure I deserve better. Sure I’m glad that he’s happy in his career/focused on his studies, but that’s all he ever seems to do. I don’t even know what he wants me for, seeing as he never has enough time for me. I’m like a third wheel in his life.”
Initially, she might try to get him to give her a bit more attention by saying, in a joking way, something along the lines of, “Hey, I never get to see you anymore. You’re always busy with work/studies. Are you sure we’re still a couple?”
Essentially, she’s likely hoping that he’ll realize that she’s feeling a bit neglected and make some adjustments so that he can spend more time with her.
However, if he ignores her, or makes excuses why he can’t give her more time right now (e.g. “Once I finish my big project at work we’ll have more time together,” or “When I get my degree we’ll have all the time we want to be with each other”), she will usually get fed up and leave him.
He may then feel confused and wonder why this happened to him.
Yet, here’s the thing…
A man needs to make his purpose (i.e. his big long-term goals and dreams or earning his degree/achieving the highest possible position at work) the most important thing in his life, but his woman should be the most important person.
You don’t need to tell a woman that.
Instead, you need to make her feel it via your attitude, actions and behavior.
Remember: It’s not about giving everything up and putting all your attention on her, to the point where you become clingy because that will turn her off.
Instead, it’s about making her feel loved, cherished and taken care of, while still being an emotionally strong, emotionally independent man who is actively working towards achieving his goals in life.
When you do that, she will naturally feel strong surges of respect and attraction for you and want to hold on to you.
Additionally, she will be motivated to be a good woman to you and make you feel loved, appreciated and valued in return.
On the other hand, if she feels like she’s always playing second-fiddle in your life, she will eventually leave and look to find herself a man who can put her first.
Another common reason why a woman will leave her boyfriend, due to him not making enough time for her, is…
2. He assumed that because she loved him so much, she would just put up with it
Sometimes, a guy might fall into the trap of believing that the love between him and his woman will last for life, just because it was so good at the start of the relationship.
So, although he will initially pay lots of attention to his woman and make her feel loved and appreciated (e.g. by giving her his undivided attention when they’re together, always making time to see her or talk to her over the phone even when he’s really busy, notice her appearance and compliment her on it), over time, he may begin to neglect her.
At the same time, all the thoughtful, romantic things he used to do for her (e.g. surprise her with a gift or flowers from time to time, take her on romantic dates to nice restaurants once in a while), begin to fade away as a distant memory.
For example: He might…
- Always order takeout, rather than take her out to a nice restaurant like he used to.
- Prefer to socialize with friends, rather than spend time alone with her.
- Ignore her by watching TV in his spare time, rather than occasionally doing something interesting or romantic together.
- Stay at the office late, rather than bring work home so that he can be with her, or manage his time better so he doesn’t need to work late.
- Play video games all weekend and expect her to just wait around in the background of his life.
Essentially, he’s making the mistake of assuming that just because his girl cares so much for him, she will put up with anything, forever.
Unfortunately, it almost never works out that way.
In most cases, rather than assume that this is how relationships are, that it’s normal and that it’s okay because she loves him and she knows deep down he loves her too, a woman usually starts to feel taken for granted.
Then, even though she may initially accept it, eventually she will disconnect from her feelings of respect, attraction and love for him and decide to leave him, rather than accept a guy who doesn’t value her anymore.
If this sounds familiar to you, then to make your girlfriend open back up to giving you another chance, you need to show her (via your attitude and the way you think, act, behave and treat her) that you have learned from your mistakes and have become a better man as a result.
Of course, don’t turn into an emotional wimp and run around after her and suck up to her just to prove to her that you’re sorry and want her back, because that will give her a false sense of power over you and make her respect you even less.
Instead, sincerely apologize to her for your past behavior.
Then just focus on using any interactions you have with her to make her smile, laugh and feel attracted and appreciated again, so she wants to give you another chance.
3. He assumed that women liked to be treated in that way
In some cases, a guy doesn’t know how he should behave in a relationship with a woman.
As a result, he might mistakenly not make enough time for his girlfriend, because he thinks that’s what she wants.
Some of the reasons for that might be…
- He didn’t have a strong, male role model when growing up, so he doesn’t know how a real man should treat a woman.
- He’s inexperienced with relationships.
- All the relationships that he knows about (e.g. his mother and father, uncles and aunts, his grandparents, friends), the men and the women don’t spend a lot of time together, so he assumes that’s how it’s supposed to be.
- He notices famous couples who don’t make time for each other (e.g. Kaley Cuoco and Karl Cook who have been married for several years but don’t live together), so he concludes that’s what modern women want.
- He believes women prefer to be independent and have lots of free time to hang out with their friends or pursue their career, hobbies or interests.
- He believes that to make a woman miss him and want him more, he needs to not make enough time for her so she’s left wanting more.
- He doesn’t want to come across as clingy or needy and this is his way of doing it.
Yet, here’s the thing…
Even though a woman doesn’t want a man who spends every minute of his spare time with her, she also doesn’t want a guy who is emotionally (and physically) unavailable to her.
The right balance for a modern woman is when a guy has his own purpose, direction, interests and hobbies in life that he’s actively pursuing, but he also makes her feel loved, appreciated and special by making enough time to be with her.
If she can’t get that from her man, rather than continuing to deal with the stress of being in a relationship him, she will usually just break up with him and look for a guy who can make her feel the way she wants to feel in a relationship.
4. She didn’t feel like she was in much of a relationship with him, so in the end, it was a fairly easy decision for her to make
The more time a couple spends together making memories (e.g. working out together, reading a book and sharing thoughts on it, doing chores with each other, traveling, participating in a sport together), the stronger and more long-lasting the bond between them.
Additionally, research shows that couples can grow closer by revealing new thoughts, ideas and fantasies to each other.
So, when a guy doesn’t make enough time for his girl and she ends up doing most things alone, or with friends, the relationship bond doesn’t strengthen.
She might then begin disconnecting from her feelings for him and start thinking things like, “What is the point of calling him my boyfriend when he’s almost never around. I end up doing more things with my friends than with him, yet, I still have the stress of having to be loyal in the relationship and be a good girlfriend to him. This isn’t a relationship anymore.”
As a result, the thought of breaking up with him isn’t that stressful for her.
Of course, he might feel shocked and wonder why this happened to him.
However, the truth is, because he was turning her off with his attitude, actions and behavior (i.e. he didn’t make enough time for her), it was inevitable that she would get fed up and leave.
The good news is that even if this was the case between you and your ex, you can still change how she feels. How?
If you use every interaction you have with her from now on, over the phone and in person, to spark her sexual and romantic feelings for you (e.g. by making her laugh and smile and feel good when she’s talking with you, making her feel like an attractive, sexy woman in your presence, showing her that you’ve leveled up as a man), she will naturally start to feel drawn to you again.
She may then begin thinking things like, “This is so weird. I really thought I didn’t have feelings for him anymore, but all of a sudden I can’t stop thinking about him. I actually feel myself missing him. Maybe he’s really changed after all. Maybe I should give him another chance before I decide for real if I should forget about him and move on. I just don’t want to walk away and regret it later on.”
She then becomes open to coming back to you.
So, don’t waste any more time thinking, “I didn’t make enough time for my girlfriend so she left me.”
Just call her on the phone or meet up with her in person and reactivate her sexual and romantic feelings for you by showing her that you’re a new and improved man.
Then guide her back into a relationship with you that’s 100% better because you’re now at a different level than you were before.
5. Her friends told her to break up with him because they were tired of hearing her complain about him and the relationship
Sometimes, a woman might spend a lot of time complaining about how neglected and taken for granted she feels by her guy to her friends.
In most cases, her friends will usually try to help her by giving her advice on what she can do to get more of his attention and time.
However, if that fails, rather than continue to put up with it and watch their friend suffer, they might begin urging her to dump her guy by saying things like, “Why are you still with this guy? Can’t you see that he’s taking advantage of you? Why are you letting him put everything else in his life above you? You deserve better. You’re a beautiful girl and there are plenty of men out there who would be lucky to have you. They would treat you well and give you the attention you deserve. You need to dump this jerk and find a decent man who will appreciate you.”
Her single girlfriends might then try hard to get her to hook up with new guys, so she can move on without him.
Initially, she might make excuses for him and resist the urge to meet anyone else, but over time, she may begin thinking things like, “My friends have a point. He is a jerk and I’m just a fool for sticking around when he clearly doesn’t care how neglected I feel. I’m done with him. It’s time I put myself first and found myself a guy who doesn’t think I’m not worth his time.”
She will then likely decide to take her friends’ advice and break up with him and look for another man to take his place in her life and in her heart.
This is why, if you want to get your girlfriend back, you have to show her (via the way you talk, think, act, behave and interact with her) that you are now at a different level than you were before.
In other words, if she gives you another chance, not only will she be the most important person in your life, you will also give her the attention, love and respect she always wanted from you, but didn’t get.
Of course, that doesn’t mean you’re going to become clingy or needy around her.
Instead, you’re going to be a better version of the man you were before (e.g. confident, emotionally strong, emotionally independent but also loving, attentive and devoted to her).
Then, what her friends say about you won’t really matter to her, because she will be thinking things like, “It feels so good to be back together with him. I feel happy when we’re together and sad when we’re apart. I know what I want now. I want him!”
6. She started flirting with other guys to make herself feel better and ended up falling for one of those guys
In some cases, when a woman feels neglected by her man, she might open herself up to flirting with other guys.
This can be partly to spite him (even though he technically doesn’t know about it) and partly to make herself feel better.
Basically, she wants to prove to herself that there’s nothing wrong with her attractiveness as a woman and that men do still find her desirable.
In other words, she wants confirmation that it’s her guy who is at fault and is neglecting her, rather than that she’s no longer a sexy, desirable woman that men aren’t interested in.
Yet, when she opens herself up in this way, it becomes easy for her to then get swept off her feet by someone else.
Remember: A woman who is getting the love and attention she wants in her relationship won’t be tempted by another guy.
She might be flattered by the attention, but also be thinking, “He’s cute, but compared to my man he’s nothing. What I have is precious and no other guy comes even close. Being with my guy is where I feel the best, most fulfilled, most loved and the happiest.”
On the other hand, if she’s feeling taken for granted, overlooked and neglected and then another guy comes along and makes her feel appreciated, attracted and valued, she won’t hesitate to move on with him.
7. Due to feeling unappreciated, she naturally began to feel attracted to the idea of partying with her single girlfriends again and then followed through on it
Imagine a woman is sitting at home alone because her boyfriend has once again let her down by not making enough time to see her.
She’s feeling lonely, neglected and probably a bit sad and annoyed.
She then thinks about her single friends who she knows are out partying and having fun in that moment, while she’s stuck being faithful to a guy who seems not to care about her feelings at all.
Chances are high, she going to start feeling angry and resentful.
She may even begin thinking things like, “Why am I sitting here all by myself when I could be out having fun? This isn’t a real relationship anymore. If it was, I’d be spending time with my man right now, rather than being alone. I’m better off being single and having the choice of staying home alone or going out and having fun, rather than feeling like a prisoner in a relationship that isn’t working anymore.”
She might then choose to break up with her boyfriend and join her single friends on the party circuit.
Here’s the thing…
For a relationship to last for life, the feelings of love, respect and attraction have to be maintained and nurtured by both the man and the woman.
It cannot be one-sided.
If a woman feels that she’s the only one giving of herself and investing her love and energy in the relationship, while her guy can’t even be bothered to make enough time for her, then she’s naturally going to become unhappy and dissatisfied.
She will then prefer to leave him and be single for a while, rather than stick around and continue to feel neglected and miserable.
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