Here are 6 common reasons why a woman will say that to her ex boyfriend, plus what you can do to get her back:
1. She broke up with you when you were at a weak point in your life
For example: You might have…
- Been struggling to find a job or were in financial trouble for quite a while, which caused you to become stressed, insecure or begin to behave in ways that made her lose respect and attraction.
- Been going through personal problems (e.g. fighting with your parents, siblings, friends or coworkers), which resulted in you being irritable or easily annoyed with her.
- Experienced a personal loss (e.g. the death of a close family member or friend), which caused you to do a lot of crying, or withdraw from life and turn to her for emotional support.
- Been ill and were undergoing treatment, which caused you to lose the vigor you once had and begin worrying that she wouldn’t find you attractive anymore. This resulted in her feeling turned off by your insecurity.
- Lost your job, or got evicted from your home, which made you feel insecure about your ability to provide for her, or due to her having a home and a job and being better off than you.
- Been struggling with, or had just failed your exams, or screwed up a project at work and been in trouble with your boss.
- Lost money in a bad investment, which resulted in you becoming very stressed and her worrying that you might keep doing the same thing in future (i.e. failing at getting ahead).
Yet, rather than be a caring, reassuring girlfriend to you while you tried to cope with the difficult situation, she chose that particular moment to break up with you.
She just couldn’t get over the fact that your reaction to the problem or issue you encountered, had ruined her feelings of respect for you and therefore, caused her to stop feeling attracted to you the way she used to.
As a result, she began to fall out of love and decided to just go ahead with the break up, rather than supporting you or giving you another chance.
Now, the thing is, if your girlfriend is like most women, then she would feel guilty for letting you down during a time when you needed her the most.
So, it’s only normal that she will say that she feels terrible about breaking up with you, but had to do it.
Yet, terrible is not the only emotion she’d be experiencing.
She might also feel very relieved to have gone through with the break up, rather than continuing on in a relationship that she wasn’t secretly happy with.
Alternatively, she might also feel confused in additional to feeling terrible for breaking up with you, because she still has some residual feelings for you.
You would know which one of those is true for your situation.
2. She broke up with you to pursue another guy, but might not completely admit that to you (ever)
If the spark dies in a relationship (e.g. because a guy ends up treating his girlfriend more like a friend than his lover, the sex becomes boring and predictable, or even stops altogether, or the guy becomes insecure, needy or clingy and turns her off), it’s only natural that a woman will begin to feel attracted to other men.
Of course, that doesn’t mean she’s going to immediately be unfaithful with a random guy who flirts with her and makes her feel good, just because the relationship with her boyfriend has become a bit dull.
However, being flirted with by a guy who makes her feel attracted (e.g. because he is more confident than her boyfriend, knows how to flirt, is more masculine in his energy and therefore makes her feel more feminine again), can highlight to her what is missing in her relationship.
A woman will rarely cheat based on that, but if the relationship is dull for too long, but she can’t come up with a good enough reason to break up with her boyfriend (i.e. because he is a good guy and is treating her fairly well, or very well), then a woman will often cheat as a way of pushing herself to go through with a break up following it.
Yet, she will rarely tell her boyfriend that her cheating and experiencing a new guy was the reason she is breaking up with him because she either doesn’t want to hurt his feelings, doesn’t want to explain why, is worried he might get angry and become aggressive, or wants to seem like the innocent one in the relationship and make him feel as though the break up is all his fault.
As a result, a woman will often just say something like, “I feel terrible for breaking up with you, but it has to be done” or, “I feel bad for breaking up with you, but this is what needs to be done. It’s the best decision for both of us” to hopefully let him down easy and avoid any trouble.
Here’s the thing…
Although it sucks to be dumped by a woman like in that way, you can still get her back if you want to.
The key to getting her back, is to interact with her and suddenly give her the kind of attraction experience that she can’t resist.
When you do that, all of her old feelings of love will come rushing back and she will also feel a new, exciting and unforgettable type of love for you.
This then causes her to stop looking at other guys as being better than you or more appealing than you, because she knows that what you and her have is unique.
She also knows that if she doesn’t give you a chance, it’s almost certainly going to be her who will be the one living with regret from now on.
So, she opens back up to you.
You can do that, but you’ve got to be willing to level up your ability to attract her, rather than trying to offer her the same old version of you.
You have a chance now to level up and get her back, or go into your shell and end up feeling sad, rejected and left behind for many months of years from now.
Another reason why your girlfriend may have told you that she felt terrible for ending the relationship, but it had to be done is…
3. You didn’t really do anything wrong other than being too nice
Some guys are confused why being too nice to a woman is a problem when it comes to initially attracting a woman, going on a date or being in a relationship or marriage with her.
It doesn’t really seem to make sense, until you understand this:
Almost every woman wants to be in a relationship with a good man who treats her well, but she doesn’t want a guy to be so nice to her that she ends up feeling as though she doesn’t have to be a good woman and treat him well in return.
If she gets that sense, then her respect for him decreases and as a result, she finds it difficult to look up to him and feel proud to be his girlfriend.
When that happens, she stops feeling attracted to him and if she was ever in love with him, begins to falls out of love.
It’s not that being nice is a bad thing.
Instead, it’s just when a guy is too nice, she doesn’t ever get to feel accountable to him, or motivated to treat him well and remain attractive.
She feels as though he’s just going to put up with anything to be with her, which makes her doubt his ability to stand up for himself and be respected in other situations (e.g. at work, if they encounter bad people or a challenging situation, etc).
What a woman really wants is to feel is that, if she doesn’t treat her man well enough, maintain her attractiveness and make him happy too, then he might leave her and she’d then miss out on being with him.
In other words, a man who is more of a challenge for her.
Of course, women will rarely admit that because they don’t want nice guys thinking, “Oh, so you want a challenge huh? Okay, I will be really challenging now” just like a nice guy goes from being nice, to being really nice to hopefully impress a woman.
That is why women remain quiet about it and just go for men who make them feel the way they really want to feel.
Likewise, women usually dump (or cheat on and then dump) men who are just too nice to them.
So, if you made the mistake of being too nice to your ex girlfriend and it resulted in her breaking up with you, then you need to change your approach with her from now on (e.g. don’t suck up to her anymore, be more of a challenge, make her feel the need to impress you).
Of course, you should also continue to treat her well and be the good man that you are, but also allow her to experience the exciting, irresistible feelings that come with needing to use her charm to maintain your interest.
When she realizes that you now have the ability to make her feel that way, you suddenly become the man she doesn’t want to lose.
Women know how difficult it is to find a good man, who also can be a challenge and make her feel the need to impress him.
It’s a very rare thing and women refer to men like that as ‘real men’ or a ‘catch’ or ‘sexy.’
When a woman finds one of those men, she knows that it will be a long time, or possibly never, until she meets another one.
So, when you make your girlfriend feel that way, she is going to open back up to you.
You will get another chance with her.
Another reason why your girlfriend may have felt terrible about leaving you…
4. She once promised she’d stick with you no matter what
Although your girlfriend probably meant it when she said it, a woman will rarely honor and stick to a promise like that, if she finds herself losing more and more respect, attraction and love for her boyfriend over time.
It felt right when she said it, but eventually, it felt wrong and she wanted out.
So, in a case like that, a woman will usually just break up with her boyfriend and move on, rather than continuing to waste time in a relationship that most likely isn’t going to work out, or will end up feeling miserable because the guy is unable to maintain her respect, attraction and love.
A woman not wanting to ‘waste time’ has a lot to do with a woman’s natural instincts of wanting to find one man, get him to fall in love with her and then build a future together (e.g. get married, start a family).
Even though many young women will say that they don’t care about kids, marriage or a lifetime relationship, they secretly do.
It’s just how women are.
Deep down, pretty much every woman feels the instinctive need to find one man, get him to fall in love with her and then build a real future with him.
As a result, most women feel terrible when leaving a guy that they once loved, because it goes against the instinct of settling down and making the relationship work and last for life.
Yet, women also have a heart and intuition, which helps them make more difficult decisions that go against their primal instincts.
As a result, she can still end up feeling terrible, guilty or even selfish about the break up.
No matter what though, she will bounce back because at the end of the day, her wants and needs are far more important to her than anything else.
Deep down, she also knows that she has once chance at getting her life right and can’t allow it to be messed up, just because she’s temporarily feeling terrible about something.
So, she goes through with the break up, regardless of how it might hurt her boyfriend.
5. She feels you deserved better treatment from her, due to how much you did for her
If that applies to your girlfriend, then it means you were a great guy to her (e.g. treated her well, took care of her, were generous, put her needs ahead of your own to hopefully make her feel happy, safe, supported and secure).
As a result, you’re not a bad boyfriend that she had to get away from; you’re not the villain.
You are the innocent one, which causes her to feel bad about having to break up with you.
Despite all that, the reality is that a woman doesn’t have to remain in a relationship with a guy because of how much he does for her.
A romantic relationship with a woman is not about how much you give to her, or do for her, although those things are a nice bonus.
Instead, it’s about how you make her feel.
Being really nice, generous and caring towards her will make her feel safe, supported and secure, but it won’t give her the other feelings she craves in a relationship (e.g. feeling the need to impress you too, wanting to be a good girl for you, worrying that you might lose interest in her, worrying that another woman might try to take you from her).
That’s not something a woman will ever tell a nice guy (because she doesn’t want him to then say, “Okay, I will do that. Just give me a chance. I will change”), but it’s the reality.
Unfortunately, a lot of guys just don’t know how to make a woman want to stick with a relationship for life, so they spend most of the relationship doing things for their woman (e.g. running errands, helping her out financially, driving her around to meetings/interviews/classes, cooking/cleaning for her, getting out of her way, doing whatever she wants to do) to show her how much they love her and hopefully be loved in return.
Yet, even though a woman truly appreciates that level of niceness from a man, it’s not enough to make her want to stick with him romantically.
What makes a woman stick with a man in a romantic relationship, are the other feelings she gets with him, which a guy who is too nice simply cannot offer…unless he changes.
Another reason why your girlfriend may have felt terrible about leaving you…
6. She knew it would break your heart, but not hers
Sometimes, a woman will realize that her guy is a lot more in love with her than she is with him.
As a result, she knows that breaking up with him won’t be a big loss to her and she may even feel a bit relieved by it.
On the other hand, it’s obvious to her it would break his heart and he might even struggle to move on, if she were to end the relationship.
That can cause her to feel a bit guilty, selfish or cruel, which is why she said that she felt terrible for breaking up with him.
However, even though she’s sorry about hurting him, in her mind, the break up was necessary because she was never able to open up and give him her full love and devotion.
How about your girlfriend?
If she broke up with you for that reason, do you think it’s impossible or possible to get her back now?
After helping countless men to get an ex girlfriend, fiancé or wife back, I can tell you that you can make her fall in love with the new you and get her back.
It’s all about giving her the attraction experience she always wanted from you but never got (e.g. you being a lot more confident, rather than continuing to be insecure or needy, being more challenging, rather than being so nice and agreeable) and then letting her want more of that, rather than immediately pushing or hinting at getting back together into a relationship.
When she realizes that you’re not being needy by pushing for a relationship, but she is feeling attracted and drawn to you, she will also realize that she wants you back.
Then, getting her back becomes so much easier for you because she wants it too.
4 Mistakes a Guy Will Often Make When His Girlfriend Leaves Him, But Says She Feels Terrible About it
1. Pleads with her and seeks pity
Although a woman might feel sorry for her ex and feel bad about hurting him, she will rarely allow those feelings to force her back into a relationship.
She may do it temporarily (e.g. for a couple of hours, days or weeks), but it won’t last.
When she realizes that he’s keeping her around due to the pity she feels for him, it will cause her to lose even more respect and attraction.
That’s the opposite of what he needs to make her feel if he wants her back for real.
So, don’t bother trying to make your ex girlfriend feel pity for you by begging, pleading with her or seeking pity.
Instead, focus on creating new sexual and romantic feelings inside of her, so she naturally feels drawn to you and becomes open to giving you another chance for her own reasons (i.e. because she wants you and doesn’t want to lose you now).
2. Asks her to explain the reasons why, so he can change for her or not make the same mistake with another woman
A woman usually doesn’t want to admit the subtle reasons why she broke up with a guy (e.g. he’s not confident enough in the bedroom, he makes her feel like she has too much power over him, he doesn’t understand what really makes a woman feel primally attracted to a man, he is unwilling to be anything other than a nice guy and thinks that being a challenge is playing mind games, or is disrespecting a woman, rather than it simply being a playful, attractive dynamic between a man and a woman).
So, when a nice guy asks his girlfriend to explain what he did wrong, it puts her on the spot and makes her feel tense and uncomfortable.
She realizes that if she tells him what he has done wrong, it could hurt his feelings further, enrage him and cause him to have an emotional outburst, cause him to try to convince her that she is damaged/has issues/needs to see a therapist if she wants a guy who isn’t as nice as him, or result in him saying something like, “Okay, I will do that. Just give me a chance to show you. I promise I will change,” which will then cause her to feel obligated to give him another chance.
3. Assuming that she must be messed up and incapable of committing to a relationship
In almost all cases, a woman is capable of committing to a relationship, but it has to feel right for her.
So, when a guy assumes that his girlfriend is messed up in the head and it was her issues that caused the break up, he will usually then have to watch on in utter disappointment as she moves on with a new boyfriend, or eventually gets engaged and happily settles down.
Here’s the thing…
Unless a woman is crazy, she won’t leave a relationship with a guy if she’s happy and getting the kind of attraction experience she really wants (e.g. he’s enough of a challenge for her, while also treating her well).
Instead, she will do everything she can to make him feel loved, appreciated and valued, so he won’t leave her.
Yet, if a guy can’t make his girlfriend feel the ways she wants to feel in the relationship with him, then she will almost always dump him and start over, or go through with a marriage and eventually divorce him after years of unhappiness.
So, don’t assume that your girlfriend is incapable of sticking with a relationship.
You can have a relationship with her that last for life, but you have to understand what you weren’t offering her and begin offering that (i.e. the kind of attraction experience she really wants).
If you don’t, then you’ll have to watch on as she moves on without you.
4. Assuming that she will come back to him, if he hurts her by not contacting her
In most cases, a woman doesn’t care if her ex isn’t contacting her because she doesn’t have enough feelings for him anymore to truly care.
She’s not in love with him and doesn’t feel attracted to him, so she plans on moving on and finding a new man, rather than worrying about an ex that she doesn’t really care about anymore.
As a result, his plan of not contacting her backfires because by the time he does contact her, she will usually be in a new relationship and no longer interested, or will be enjoying the freedom of single life (e.g. going on dates, kissing new guys, having sex).
He then has to put in double the effort to reactivate her feelings for him and get her back.
So, don’t let that happen to you.
If you want your girlfriend back, get it done now, while you still can.
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