If your girlfriends say other guys are hot, she is either:
1. Testing to see how confident you are.
This is the common reason why a girlfriend will talk about other guys being hot, attractive or appealing.
Having unshakeable confidence in your sex appeal to her is the #1 trait that will maintain her attraction for you when in a relationship.
If she talks about other guys being good looking and sees that it makes you feel insecure and begin to doubt her attraction for you, then she knows that you don’t have the type of confidence that will keep her interested in the long run.
Personally speaking, my wife always tests my confidence and I never fail her tests.
I always remain 100% confident in my attractiveness to her, regardless of what she says and as a result, she feels more and more attracted to me over time.
She teases me about my receding hair line, my lack of a six pack, my lack of muscles and my deepening facial wrinkles.
She always tests to see if I have any emotional weak points and when she continually finds that I’m strong and don’t have any insecurities, it deepens her respect for me.
BTW: This is her and I when we met about 2.5 years ago…
She’s 22 and I’m 37, so she sometimes refers to me as Old Man Dan sometimes and says things like, “You’re so old.”
It’s all a test and I just laugh it off or laugh at her.
From the day I met her, no matter what she has said or done around me, I have maintained absolutely belief in my sex appeal to her and other women.
For example: The other night, we were sitting on the sofa and watching some TV. She was looking through some old photos of us on her iPad and said, “Eww…look at you in this photo…you don’t look good at all” and I said, “Let me see.”
I looked at the photo and said, “I look awesome…I look handsome in the photo…that’s a great photo.” She then laughed and said that I always think I look so good.
10 seconds later, she rested her head on my lap and played with her iPad while I watched TV.
She then started talking about positive things and moments later, she will giggling and laughing and grabbed my hand, brought it to her mouth and kissed it.
A long time ago, I would have never been able to handle a woman’s tests like that.
I was too emotionally sensitive and needed a woman to help reenforce my confidence with compliments, positive affection and reassurances that she liked me, loved me, wanted to be with me, etc.
However, that isn’t the case anymore and hasn’t been for the last 10 years of my life because I understand why women test and I accept it.
A woman will test you because she wants to reconfirm to herself that you are a confident man. Experiencing a man’s confidence is an irresistible attraction drug for women. They can’t get enough of it.
If your girlfriend is trying to experience your confidence by testing you, don’t get angry at her for it. Instead, embrace the opportunity to make her feel even more attracted to you.
2. Trying to gain more power over you in the relationship
There is always going to be a power struggle in a relationship.
Regardless of how submissive a woman is, she will always attempt to gain power over her man here and there.
Some women are a lot more intense about it though and will consciously try to gain more and more power over you, to the point where you feel like you’d be lost without her.
A woman who tries to make her boyfriend feel insecure by saying that other guys are hot, will often be doing so because she is insecure about how much he wants her.
She may have seen him looking at other women and finding them attractive, so she tries to let him know that she can find other men attractive too. Essentially, the warning is: If he isn’t careful, she might leave him for one of those guys.
3. No longer feeling enough attraction for you.
In some cases, a guy will get with a girl and they’ll have a fun, enjoyable start to their relationship, but the initial attraction buzz will die off.
For example: Maybe he “got lucky” when he met her and she was feeling lonely or trying to get over an ex boyfriend, so she hooked up with him, or he grew on her over time (e.g. they started out as friends, coworkers, etc).
The start of a relationship is the easy part.
To keep the spark alive and make sure that your girlfriend doesn’t want to leave you for other guys, you have to be able to deepen her feelings of attraction over time.
4. Not serious about being in a relationship with you.
Not all relationships are 100% serious and heading for marriage and a lifetime commitment.
These days, many women are happy to get in and out of dating relationships for years before they settle down with the right man.
Even if she tells her boyfriend she loves him and they enjoy a great relationship together, it doesn’t mean that she is 100% committed for life.
When she’s had her fun with a guy or her girlfriends suddenly become single after breaking up with their boyfriends, you can expect her to suddenly start to feel restless and want to join them if she’s not truly committed to you.
Do you think that she’s potentially that type of girl, or are both you and her fully committed for life?
If she is committed to you and you are committed to her, then you need to understand that…
Feeling Attracted to Other Men Doesn’t Mean She is Cheating or Will Cheat on You
Think about it this way…
Despite the fact that you love your girlfriend, find her attractive and want to be with her, you can’t stop yourself from feeling attracted to other women, right?
If you see a hot girl walking down the street, you can’t stop yourself from feeling attracted because it’s an automatic reaction. Additionally, if you open up a porn site, you probably can’t stop yourself from getting a boner and wanting to do something about it.
Attraction is a natural reaction that men and women have when they encounter attractive traits in each other. It can’t be turned off, but it can be kept under control.
For example: I still feel attracted to other women, but I find my wife much more attractive than any of them. My attraction for her is fixed and I’m not changing how I feel because I’m committed to her.
There are millions of other women in this world that I find attractive, but I’m not going to sleep with them. I’ve already done that and now I’m in a committed relationship.
The same goes for my wife. She will see other guys as being attractive, handsome, etc, but that doesn’t mean she is going to get up and leave me just to act on her feelings of attraction.
Why? The potential loss for her far outweighs the gain of acting on a feeling of attraction for a guy who probably isn’t half the man that I am. Sure, he might be better looking than me, but is he going to have all of the other fundamental traits that women find irresistibly attractive in men?
I’m in the same boat. I could easily have sex with new women (there are women interested in me in my social circle), but the losses would far outweigh the gains.
I would lose the best woman I’ve ever met in my life. My sexy, 22 year old wife.
I would then have to go through all the initial stages of a relationship again and then decide whether or not she was worth committing to.
If I only wanted sex with her, that probably wouldn’t be a possibility because she’d cling on to me and want to get in the way of my marriage.
So, have a think about the position that your girlfriend is in now…
- Does she see you as being much better than the majority of options that she choose from with other men?
- Have you been deepening her feelings of love, respect and attraction for you over time, or have you been taking her for granted?
- Are you rising through the levels of life and reaching for your true potential as a man, or are you hiding from your biggest dream goals behind her and the relationship?
- Does she look up to you and respect you, or has she lost a lot of respect for you lately?
- Are you and her both still excited to be in love with each other, or have you slipped into being more like casual friends?
If you think that your relationship has lost the initial spark and her attraction for you is beginning to fade, make sure that you watch the video above.
In the video, I explain how a woman’s attraction for a man really works and how you can make a woman feel more attracted to you than guys who are better looking that you are.
Getting to the Root of the Problem
Your girlfriend saying that other guys are hot is not a terrible thing in itself. Attraction is normal and healthy.
So, the question you should ask yourself is, “What is causing me to feel upset when my girlfriend says other guys are hot?”
Let’s look at several reasons why her recent behavior could be bothering you…
Do You Have Trust Issues?
Unfortunately, these days, a lot of guys grow up without good relationship role models.
Many guys come from broken or unhappy homes and often, all the relationships around them, like those of uncles, brothers, friends, etc., are also unhappy or broken.
This sets up a negative idea in their minds, which ultimately translates into serious trust issues when they find themselves in a relationship.
Trust issues can also come from being one of many children and never really experiencing what it’s like to be fully loved by a parent.
So, when a guy like that gets into a relationship with a woman, he wants her to devote to him and only him to fill up the emotional gap that has haunted him since his childhood.
Here’s the thing though…
To be successful in a relationship with a woman, you HAVE to trust her and she has to trust you. You have to trust that she loves you, wants to be with you and will stick by you.
Yes, she might break that trust, but if you don’t give it to her (all of it), your relationship will never mature and grow to the next stages.
It will always feels stuck and the love will never reach its full potential.
A lack of trust breeds insecurity, anger and frustration and changes the way that you think, behave, feel and act around each other.
You and her always feel separate and even though you might live together or see each other regularly, there always seems to be something missing between you.
If your girlfriend ends up breaking your trust one day, then it’s only natural to feel hurt, betrayed and disappointed about it.
However, you will never be able to prevent bad things from happening in a relationship by removing the element of full trust.
Insecurity, controlling behavior, fighting, accusations and excessive jealous all work together to push and your girlfriend further apart.
The less emotionally strong you are as a man, the less respect and attraction she will feel for you and if that goes on for a long time, she will fall out of love with you.
If you’re saying, “My girlfriend says other guys are hot,” and she has given you no other cause to doubt her loyalty to you, then you are making the mistake of allowing yourself to become clingy, insecure and mistrusting towards her.
You’ve got to get control back over how you think, feel and act around her.
If you present her with your weakness and insecurity, it will gradually destroy her attraction, respect and love for you as a man.
Do You Crumble When She Tests You?
Guys often assume that just because they’re in an established, loving relationship, their girlfriend (or fiancé or wife) will eventually stop “testing” them.
The assumption is that “tests” are what women give to guys that they are screening as potential boyfriends and once they’ve settled on a guy, the tests will suddenly stop.
That’s not how it works.
Women test guys ALL the time. It never ends. Why? It is a woman’s natural instinct to do it to ensure that you are still “the man” and she is the woman.
Testing your confidence and masculinity and seeing it come back as strong and powerful each time, allows her to further relax into being your woman and to continue feeling respect and attraction for you.
The key her is to realize that she is testing you to reconfirm that you are the man she should be giving herself to.
You need to be able to take it in your stride without “losing it” every time she says that another guy is hot.
Over time, her respect and attraction for you will deepen as she compares you to the other men that she interacts with, and even though she may still comment about other guys to you, inside she will be thinking, “There’s no point being with another guy. I would probably never be able to find another man who is as emotionally strong and secure as my boyfriend is.”
Rather than get upset when your girlfriend says other guys are hot, you try to instead feel grateful for her tests.
When you have that mindset, it will come through in your actions and your conversation style and she will be “all over you” because she will know that she cannot do better than you.
Even if the other guys are more physically handsome than you, in her eyes you will always be the best.
Is She Behaving in Other Ways That Are Making You Doubt Her Loyalty to You?
Most women don’t just come out and say they want to break up with a guy. Instead, they will show him signs that they are losing interest in being in a relationship.
So, the question is: Is your girlfriend doing more than just saying that other guys are hot? Is she also behaving in any of the following ways?
- Does she make herself available to you no matter how busy she gets, or does she regularly make excuses not to see you?
- Does she actively try to stay in contact with you as often as possible, or is she taking days and even weeks to reply to your text messages or return your calls?
- Is she loving, attentive and keen to touch, kiss and have sex with you, or does she make excuses pretty much every time you try to touch her or initiate sex with her?
- Does she always want to go out with you, or does she regularly insist on going out without you; especially to places like clubs or bars where she had a good chance of getting hit on by other guys?
- Is she still making an effort to look good for you, or has she let herself go?
These are all signs that there’s a deeper reason why she says other guys are hot, and if you want to save your relationship with her, you have to find out what is causing her to fall out of love with you and fix that.
As you will discover from the video above, a woman will fall out of love with a guy after losing respect for him and then losing touch with her feelings of attraction.
If your girlfriend is genuinely finding other guys to be hot and is losing attraction for you, then you need to work on fixing that now before she cheats on you or breaks up with you.
Are You Allowing Your Insecurities to Ruin a Good Thing?
In many cases, a woman who looks at other guys is doing just that – looking. It doesn’t mean she has any intention of cheating on her guy.
However, when a guy feels like he got “lucky” when he hooked up with his girlfriend, her natural appreciation for other guys will bring out his insecurity and jealousy and make him feel like he’s not good enough for her.
Here’s the thing though…
If you let your insecurities control you, you will eventually end up losing her. Women are turned off by emotional insecurity and turned on by emotional strength.
The only way to stop feeling insecure is to be the opposite of insecure, which is to be confident.
Here are the dictionary definitions to show the difference between confidence and insecurity:
Insecurity (noun): Lack of confidence or assurance; self-doubt.
Confidence (noun): Belief in oneself and one’s powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; assurance.
No matter how often your girlfriend says other guys are hot, you need to believe in yourself and know that she wants to be with you more than she wants any other guys. You need to believe this completely and not worry about it at all.
If you don’t believe in your attractiveness and sex appeal to her, you will keep looking for reasons to prove that you’re not good enough for her.
You might allow your insecurities and jealousy to slowly erode the trust, attraction and love she feels for you and she will then eventually dump you for one of those “hot guys”, which will make you feel justified in being upset every time she made a comment about another guy.
Don’t aim for that bitter sweet ending where you can say, “Hah! I told you so – I wasn’t good enough for her.”
Instead, make sure that you are good enough for her by believing that you are. It all comes back to how you perceive yourself and your sex appeal to her.
Personally speaking, I stick to the idea that I’m the most appealing, attractive guy in the world, even though I know that there are handsome men, models, etc out there.
What matters most when you’re attracting a woman for the first time or maintaining the attraction of your woman in a relationship is that you have an unshakeable belief in your sex appeal.