If you’re saying, “My girlfriend won’t open up to me,” then you’re most-likely at a stage of your relationship where she’s lost respect for you and is no longer attracted to you like she was at the start.
Here’s the thing…
The start of a relationship is usually the easy part because the man and woman will usually both feel a lot of lust, excitement and love, so it will be enjoyable to spend time together.
Even if you and your girlfriend aren’t 100% compatible with each other, the thrill and excitement of being in a new relationship will often overshadow any doubts that you each might have about the chances of your relationship lasting a lifetime.
Yet, when the initial buzz actually does wear off, it might become obvious that something between you and her isn’t quite right.
So, what it is it that makes a woman not want to open up to her boyfriend anyway?
5 Reasons Why She’s Closed Up Around You
Have a read through these reasons and decide which one of them most applies to your situation…
1. She doesn’t have strong enough feelings for you yet.
A woman doesn’t always immediately open up to a guy and fully devote her heart and mind to being in a relationship with him. Sometimes, it takes a bit of time for a woman to check and see whether you’re someone worth giving that type of commitment to.
The beginning stages of a relationship are where a woman decides, “Is this guy worth it? Is he going to be someone I can look up to, respect, love and appreciate in the long term, or is he just good for a few laughs and some sex until something better comes along?”
Nothing is worse for a woman than being seduced into a new relationship with a guy who initially seems great, only to discover that he doesn’t know how to guide her into deeper feelings of love, respect and attraction.
Either that or he gets laid and gets to be her boyfriend and then just relaxes and takes her interest in him for granted.
Sometimes, a guy will assume that if he and his girlfriend hang out together, go to the movies, the beach or to eat out together, hold hands, kiss and then have sex, then it will be enough for her to want to open up to him and be his girlfriend forever.
Yet, if that’s all he’s got to offer, they may as well be friends or brother and sister.
Getting past the initial stages of a relationship and moving onto higher levels is what allows the love, respect and attraction to grow between a man and a woman.
Additionally, having the ability to deepen the attraction that you and her feel for each other is the key to her and yourself turned on and wanting more as the years pass by.
When you say, “My girlfriend won’t open up to me,” consider that right now you may not have created strong enough feelings inside her yet, for her to be looking at you as someone that she truly wants to open up to and be with in the long term or for life.
When a woman has strong, intense feelings for a guy, she usually won’t want to be closed up and ruin her opportunity with him.
Instead, she will allow herself to fall madly in love with him and open her heart and mind to the experience of being in a loving, committed relationship with him.
As you will discover from the video above, you have a lot of direct influence over how your girlfriend feels and behaves around you.
The more attraction, love and respect that you make her feel for you, the quicker she will want to open to you and stick with you before another woman takes you from her.
Another possible reason why your girlfriend isn’t opening up is that…
2. She doesn’t trust you with deeply personal information.
You can never fully trust another person to have your back 100%, but when in a relationship with a woman, you both have to be able to take that leap of faith and give each other your full trust.
That being said, sometimes a woman may have trust issues and won’t be willing to trust a guy for months or even years until she feels safe enough to do so.
If your girlfriend won’t open up to you, it may be because:
- She was raised in an unstable environment where her trust was broken many times while she was growing up (e.g. her parents got divorced and her father often promised to take her places, but didn’t follow through on his promises, etc).
- She may have had a previous relationship where her boyfriend proved to be untrustworthy, even though he seemed like a really nice guy initially (e.g. he may have lied to her, cheated on her or may have become emotionally or physically abusive).
- She’s afraid that if she opens up to you, you will use whatever she tells you against her, or you will use it to gain power over her.
- She’s afraid that if she tells you all of her “deep dark secrets,” you will secretly feel turned off by it, find a replacement girl and then break up with her.
If you want her to relax and open up to you, you have to be the one to give her your full trust first, so that she can relax and respect you as a man.
If she continually sees that you’re not insecure and that you can relax enough to just love her for who she is, she will naturally also start to relax and feel more trusting of you, which will eventually lead to her opening up to you.
3. She doesn’t want to tell you what you’re doing wrong.
Once a relationship becomes more established and the initial excitement begins to calm down, a couple will often begin to become aware of each other’s imperfections.
At this point, your girlfriend may have noticed certain “problems” that she overlooked at the beginning of your courtship together (e.g. you’re insecure, you don’t have much purpose in life and are essentially basing your whole life around her, etc).
If you don’t fix those things about yourself, she will naturally begin to lose touch with her feelings of respect, love and attraction for you over time.
However, like most women, she’s not going to come out and tell you what you’re doing wrong and explain how to fix it. Instead, she’s going to give you hints and will sit back and let you figure things out by yourself.
You might see that as her closing off and no longer being willing to open to you, but it may just be her way of trying to get you to pay attention to the fact that she’s rapidly losing interest in being with you.
So, where do you think you might have been going wrong with her so far?
- Have you fallen into the habit of taking her for granted?
- Have you been letting her “wear the pants” in the relationship, boss you around, control you or treat you badly?
- Are you failing to rise through the levels of life like a real man and are instead hiding from your true potential behind her and the relationship?
- Have you been feeling really “lucky” to have her (i.e. because it’s not easy for you to attract women) and are now really afraid of losing her?
- Are you failing to make her feel the way she wants to feel when in a relationship?
Whatever the case is with your relationship, she’s not going to tell you exactly what you need to change and how to fix it. She might tell you some things, but she won’t tell you everything because she doesn’t want to have to become your teacher on how to be a man.
She doesn’t want to teach you how to be the sort of man that will be attractive to her, because she will then be taking on the role of “mother” or “big sister” to you, which will destroy her feelings of sexual attraction for you.
Instead of being your teacher, she wants you to be able to work this stuff out by yourself and just start being the type of man that she actually wants you to be.
When you allow her to relax into her true feminine self and consistently be the man that she can respect, she will then feel as though it is safe and wise to finally open up to you and give you her heart.
4. She will only open up to you when she sees that you don’t need her to.
Most women don’t like guys who are clingy and needy for love, attention and affection. If a woman feels that a guy is using her and the relationship as an excuse to hide from reaching for his true potential as a man in life, she will feel turned off by him on a deep and instinctive level.
If he then keeps asking, “Why won’t you open up to me? Don’t you trust me?” or “You know you mean everything to me. Don’t you realize that staying closed off from me like that is killing me? I love you so much” she will instinctively pull away from what she perceives as emotional weakness and immaturity.
Women are instinctively attracted to the emotional strength in men and repelled by weakness. If you’re saying, “My girlfriend won’t open up to me,” ask yourself these questions:
- Why do you need her to open up to you? What will that do for you?
- Why can’t you relax and let her open up in her own time?
- What important things are you truly focused on in your life outside of the relationship?
- Do you feel as though she is all that you’ve got in life and without her, your life would be empty and meaningless?
A woman definitely does want a man who also wants her back (and who loves her and respects her), but she doesn’t want a guy who feels as though he can’t function without her in his life.
If a guy needs a woman like that, it makes her feel as though she has to take care of him emotionally, which is a huge turn off for her. Women want to have a man that they can look up to and respect, not a confused, emotional immature boy that needs to be take care of.
5. She doesn’t respect you enough to share the information.
One of the most important things that you need to do to get your girlfriend to open up to you, is to make her feel respect for you as a man.
Sometimes, a woman will be in a relationship with a guy who she secretly doesn’t respect, so his opinion about things or his feelings for her really won’t be that important to her.
What are some of the things that will make a woman lose respect for a guy?
- Not following through on his promises.
- Being too protective of her or suspicious about what she is thinking, feeling or doing when he isn’t around.
- Belittling her or continually criticizing her.
- Putting her down.
- Being insecure, clingy or needy.
- Hiding from his true potential in life behind her and the relationship.
- Being nervous in social situations, especially around confident guys or attractive women.
- Always letting her win arguments or get her way because he is afraid that she will break up with him.
- Never letting her win or get her way because he wants to control her.
There are many different reasons why a woman will lose respect and attraction for her man.
Regardless of what is true for you and your girlfriend, the only way you’re going to stop saying, “My girlfriend won’t open up to me,” is to make sure that she not only feels attracted to you sexually, but she also looks up to you and respects you as her man.
When she can look up to you and respect you as her man, while also feeling a deep, sexual desire for you, she will instinctively relax and let her guard down around you.
Opening up to you will feel like the right thing for her to do.
It will happen naturally and as long as you are deepening her feelings of love, respect and attraction, your relationship will naturally continue on through all the subsequent stages until you reach true, commitment love and devotion for each other.