It’s more than likely that when you proposed to your wife, you hoped that you’d never find yourself in the unfortunate position of saying, “My wife left me for another man.”
Right now you probably feel like your world has come crashing down around you. Naturally, all the plans and dreams for your future with your wife are going to change (even if she comes back to you).
While it is normal to feel down and depressed, remaining stuck with those emotions isn’t going to change what has already happened. Ultimately, you are at a crossroads in your life and in your relationship with your wife, and you have some decisions to make.
The question you have to ask yourself is: “Now that my wife left me for another man, what do I want to do about it? Do I want to get her back, or do I want to move on and find another, even better, more trustworthy and attractive woman than her?”
If you want to get her back, we recommend that you begin by watching this important video by Dan Bacon (founder of The Modern Man) about where many men slip up when trying to get a woman back…
As you will discover from the video above, it is possible to get your wife back if you want to. If she is happy with the new man, it might take 2-3 meet ups to fully get her back, but it is possible.
So, what do you want to do at this point?
Deciding What You Really Want
Even though it may not feel like it right now, you are the one with all the power.
Basically, it’s up to you whether you want to forgive your wife, get her back and make a success of your marriage with her, or you can decide to cut your loses with her and make a fresh start with a woman who deserves to be with a great guy like you.
If you don’t feel confident about the idea of attracting a new woman, or even attracting your wife back, watch this video to understand how a woman’s attraction for a man really works…
As you will discover from the video above, you can actively make new women or your wife feel attracted to you based on what you say and do when you interact with them.
For example: If a man interacts with a woman and he comes across as nervous, self-doubting and is putting on an act of being an even nicer guy than he really is, women will feel turned off by him.
However, if a man interacts with a woman and comes across as confident, self-assured and authentic, most women will instantly feel a natural attraction to his personality, behavior and inner qualities as a man.
So, before you can do anything, you have to really know what you want and then do what is required to make that happen.
Why Did Your Wife Leave You For Another Man?
As much as it hurts to admit it right now, your wife left you for another man for a reason.
Was it her fault?
If your wife started having an affair while still married to you, it could mean that she is a woman of bad character, and someone who isn’t too serious about her wedding vows.
For example, some women will get married to a guy and enjoy the benefits of being taken care of by him, or enjoy his money or status, but at the back her mind she is not averse to the idea of getting divorced if she happens to meet another guy who can give her more than her husband can.
If you suspect that this is the case with your wife, yet you still want to get her back, you need to ask yourself why you’re prepared to settle for a woman of bad character. Ask yourself…
- Do I believe that my wife is the best I can do when it comes to women?
- Do I fear going out and meeting new women?
- Do I lack confidence and belief in myself?
- Do I feel that I got lucky in scoring with my wife and do I doubt that I can do it again?
- Do I believe that beautiful women would never be interested in a guy like me?
If you’ve answered yes to any of the above questions, it is quite clear that your confidence and self esteem have taken a dent. Maybe it’s a result of being dumped by your wife for another man; however, maybe this is something that has been a problem for you throughout your life.
Whatever the case for you, settling for a woman of bad character isn’t going to make you feel better about yourself. In fact, if you somehow convince your wife to come back to you without changing how you feel about yourself deep inside, you’re only setting yourself up to be cheated on again.
Rather than get back with a woman who isn’t loyal or trustworthy, you first need to build your confidence and self esteem, while also building on your understanding of women and relationships, along with your understanding of who you are as a man.
Women are instinctively attracted to confident, masculine men, so the key to attracting quality women into your life is to develop the qualities that will make the type of women you really want to be with, see you as a real man.
If you don’t build yourself up first and instead try to get back out there in a low emotional state, you will find it difficult to attract quality women. When this happens you may decide to settle for getting your wife back even though you know she is not trustworthy and clearly doesn’t deserve a good guy like you, or you will end up dating and maybe even marrying another woman of bad character, and you will find yourself saying, “My wife left me for another man,” for a second time.
Was it your fault?
On the other hand, if your wife is the type of woman who really believes in marriage and has been loyal to you all the way, then her decision to leave you for another man may come down to your lack of ability to deepen her feelings of love, respect and attraction for you over time.
Contrary to what many guys believe, a wife doesn’t wake up one morning and decide she wants to leave her husband for another man. In fact, she probably went through a long and difficult process, while also trying to get through to him to let him know how unhappy she was feeling, before she came to that decision.
So, if you’re going to make your wife change her mind and make her want to re-commit to you and your marriage, you need to make her reconnect with her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you; not just in the short-term, but for the rest of your lives together.
3 Vital Steps to Getting Your Wife Back
Even if right now your wife is saying, “It’s over between us. I don’t love you anymore, I love someone else now,” you don’t have to sit around on the sidelines and hope she’ll miraculously change her mind and come back to you.
When you make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you as a man, she will naturally begin to reconnect with her feelings of love and open back up to the possibility of being married to you.
However, to make your wife change how she feels right now, you have to do 3 things:
1. Fully understand what she really wants you to change about yourself.
Every relationship is different; however, there are certain behaviors that most often result in a guy being broken up with or being divorced. To get your wife to see you as a better option to the other man, you have to fully understand what caused her to break up with you.
- Did you take her for granted?
- Did you let her wear the pants in the relationship?
- Did you fail to move up the levels of life like a real man?
- Were you needy, clingy or jealous?
When you know the real reasons why your wife left you for another man, you can make the correct changes to your thinking and behavior that will make her feel understood and happy to be interacting with you again.
On the other hand, if you don’t fully understand what caused her to see the other man as a better option to you, you will most likely be offering to change things about yourself that don’t really matter to her.
For example, you might be telling her, “I promise I’ll do whatever it takes to get us that new house you really want,” but in reality, what she really wants is for you to stop working such long hours and spend more quality time with her. Alternatively, maybe she wants a baby and you’ve been putting it off because the timing hasn’t been right.
Whatever the case, you need to be sure you’re giving her what she really wants, not what you think she wants.
If you don’t fully understand what she wants, she will perceive the other guy as being a better choice to you – even if he’s not really her ideal man – because for the time being, he fills in the gaps she feels are not being filled by you.
2. Avoid making common mistakes.
It’s natural for a guy who wants to get his wife back to do whatever he thinks she wants to get her back. Unfortunately, most of the relationship advice that guys get is from what they’ve picked up from watching TV or what they’ve heard from random people they know.
To get your wife to leave the other guy and come back to you, you need to avoid making these mistakes that guys make.
- Don’t try to put the other guy down: Trying to convince a woman that the other guy isn’t rich/smart/nice/good looking or will love her like he does, only makes a guy look desperate, childish and immature; qualities that are unattractive to women and she will be even more turned off by him.
- Don’t make up lies about what you’ve been doing to hopefully make her jealous: Unless an ex-husband has really going out, dating and having sex with other women, lying about it to make his wife jealous will backfire. When she finds he has been lying to her and is only trying to make her jealous, she will think he’s pathetic and she’ll be even more convinced that the new guy is a better option to him.
- Don’t beg, plead and promise her that you will change: Women are attracted to the strength in men and repelled by weakness. Begging and pleading only makes a guy look weak in her eyes and she will be turned off by him at a deep level. Also, promising to change simply highlights to her that he is still the same guy she left and she won’t be interested in coming back in the hopes that he will change if she does.
3. Fix your issues and improve yourself.
By fixing any emotional issues you have that were turning her off (like being clingy, jealous, insecure, mentally and emotionally weak, etc.,) and improving and changing yourself, when you interact with her she will be able to pick it up.
She will sense it by looking at the changes in your behavior and she will naturally feel renewed respect and attraction for you as a man. From there you can build on those feelings and make her fall in love with you all over again.
You don’t have to fully fix everything and become perfect to get your wife back, but you do need to start working on any emotional issues properly.
It’s Not Too Late
Even though, right now, this is probably one of the lowest points in your life, you can look at it as an opportunity to improve both your life and yourself as a man.
You can sit around feeling hurt and betrayed and saying, “My wife left me for another man,” or, you can make changes to yourself that will not only make your wife want to come back to you, but will also improve your life as a whole.
When you feel good about yourself, not only will your wife see this and be attracted to you, you will be attractive to other women as well. Then, the choice will be yours; you can take your wife back or you can move on.