If your wife has left you and you want to get her back, the main thing you need to focus on is making her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you as a man.
It’s not enough to want her back and be promising her the world if she gives you another chance. What you need to make her feel is respect and attraction for who you are as a man. When she notices that she is feeling respect and attraction for you in new ways, it grabs her attention and she becomes open to the idea of getting back with you.
The Vows Have Been Broken
You and your wife once promised to stick by each other for life.
Yet, those vows now seem to have meant nothing to her because she’s left you. Maybe you have left the home or she has, but either way, she is now opening herself to the possibility of being with a new man.
Being left by your wife is a tough thing to deal with. Seeing your wife leave you can leave you feeling bitterly betrayed, but also confused about life, relationships and what women actually want. It’s also probably one of the most embarrassing, humiliating and lonely experience to go through in life.
While it is normal to feel down, remaining stuck with those emotions will only drive her away faster. Why? Women are attracted to the strength of men and repulsed by the weakness. Whenever your wife interacts with you, she has to feel your emotional strength, not weakness.
If you allow the act of her leaving you to send you into a downward spiral, she will become even more turned off the idea of coming back.
The 3 Stages She Went Through Before Deciding to Leave You
Before you can get your wife back for good, you will need to understand her real reasons for leaving you and then get her to forgive you for any mistakes or shortcomings. Don’t worry – that’s actually pretty easy to do because the love that you and your wife shared is not DEAD.
Love never dies.
It just gets pushed into the background while people focus on or feel overwhelmed by negative, painful emotions. When you can get your wife to feel positive, loving emotions towards you, she will naturally begin to open herself back up to the idea of being with you again.
In my program, Get Your Ex Back: Super System, I provide you with the exact wording of the conversation you need to have with your wife to get her to forgive you and open herself up to giving the marriage another chance.
Why Did Your Wife Leave You?
Some of the men who contact me tell me that they didn’t see it coming, “Dan…my wife left me…and it happened all of a sudden. One day she was saying she loves me and the next she was saying she wants a divorce! How can this be happening?” However, in all my years being focused on success with women, dating and relationships in the modern world, I’ve rarely come across examples where a woman just makes a snap decision to leave a man.
In pretty much every case I’ve dealt with or heard about, the woman had been giving the man hints, warnings and suggestions for a long time before the break up. She will say things like, “If things don’t change, I don’t know if I will want to stay together” or “This isn’t the way I want my relationship with my man to be” or “If you don’t change, I will leave you.” However, most men see those statements as idle threats that don’t need to be taken that seriously.
This is especially true for men who’ve married their woman. They feel as though they’ve “got her for life now” and it would be too difficult or embarrassing for her to get a divorce, so he won’t ever do it and he can continue treating her however he wants.
So, why did your wife leave you? If you’re one of the unfortunate men who are sitting here today thinking, “My wife left me…what do I do?” then let’s get to the bottom of the problem and start working towards a solution for you.
Did You Become Less of a Man?
If you watch enough TV sitcoms (which are designed to entertain an audience rather than educate them about real life), watch enough movies or listen to enough politically correct TV talk show hosts, you might start to think that relationships should be 50/50 and men should no longer “wear the pants” in a relationship.
However, that couldn’t be further from the truth. Regardless of what changes have gone on in society and how “masculine” modern tend to behave, they still want you to be the man. Ultimately, what a woman wants is to feel like a woman, and the more she feels she has to “take charge,” the less like a woman she feels.
It’s tough for a guy to admit, “My wife left me because I wasn’t enough of a man for her,” but from my years of experience helping men from all over the world, it’s actually the most common reason for a wife leaving a husband.
Unlike women of past generations, today’s wives don’t just “put up with” a “bad husband” for life. The TV sitcoms and celebrities they see getting divorced (and then talking about how great of a decision it was on a TV talk show) are often way too influential for a woman. Many modern women find it difficult to uphold traditional values because they see 1,000s of women on TV who seem to be happy that they’ve gotten a divorce.
The government then tells them, “It’s okay. We will support you as a single mother. We will make sure your husband gives you money every month and gives you 50% of what he owns.” If your wife turns on the radio, she constantly hears women singing about how they aren’t reliant on men anymore or how they dumped their man and are now happier than ever and moving on.
In today’s world, you actually have to be what women refer to as a real man in order for them to want to stay with you. Unlike the women they see on TV who are having problems with their man, your woman can look at you and realize how lucky she is. Your wife being able to feel that way is extremely important.
Did You Take Her For Granted?
If your wife left because she felt taken for granted, she will have sent out plenty of “warning signals” about the way she felt before finally making the decision to leave. If you feel her decision to leave came from nowhere without warning, you simply didn’t pick up on the signals.
There’s no one-size-fits-all type of attitude or behavior that’s makes every woman feel taken for granted, but if you slipped into a habit of expecting certain things from your wife without showing any appreciation for her efforts, then most women will feel under-appreciated.
Most women want to be with a man who values and appreciates what they bring to the relationship, not a man who continues to take without giving back. It’s not about random bunches of flowers or boxes of expensive chocolates, it’s about being emotionally attached enough to notice the signals she sends out and then having enough love to give that you actually take the lead in resolving any relationship issues.
Did You Cheat on Her?
If you cheated on your wife, then her decision to leave would come as no real surprise. Whether or not she can forgive you for cheating on her is going to be her decision alone to make, but to help her along you will need to re-discuss what it means to be married.
Part of the vows you would have made before saying “I do” was to stick by each other, through good times and bad, until death do us part. Your love and commitment to each other should be able to push the mistake you made (cheating) to the side and see it as something outside of your marriage.
It’s not something that needs to be a part of your marriage. You can both decide to let it go and not let it interfere with your marriage any longer. You and your wife are committed to each other. Many women won’t be ready to do that because the husband has been behaving in a way that is causing her to lose more attraction and respect for him and thus fall further out of love with him.
If you want her to become open to letting the “cheating incident” go and focusing instead on the commitment of your marriage and the vows you both made, you need to start making her feel sexual attraction and respect for you again. This is exactly what I will teach you how to do in my program Get Your Ex Back: Super System.
A common mistake that guys make in this situation is to try to shift the blame away from themselves and onto their wife. For instance, he would say something along the lines of, “Well you drove me to it; we haven’t had sex in months and you’ve been acting all cold and unapproachable lately,” as a way of trying to make it her fault that he strayed.
Women want to be with the type of man who would think about why they’ve not had sex in months and then take the lead in resolving the situation.
A woman doesn’t want to be married to a man who is so emotionally detached from her and the marriage that he fails to take any responsibility and chooses to satisfy his own needs elsewhere.
Did You Put Her on a Pedestal?
Sometimes, a woman will leave a marriage because she’s feeling suffocated by it. This is effectively the opposite of taking the wife for granted in that she feels put up on a pedestal, even though she hasn’t been behaving nicely towards her husband.
Some guys might be thinking, “What’s wrong with that? You’ve got to treat your wife like a princess no matter what. My wife left me…maybe I wasn’t doing enough!” Unfortunately, these men don’t realize that women aren’t attracted to men they can push around.
While the average TV sitcom might have you believe that women love the idea of having a man throw himself at her feet, they don’t love it in the real world. The TV sitcom is designed to entertain the audience.
In the real world, a man who puts a woman on a pedestal and showers her with gifts and tokens of affection, even though she isn’t behaving nicely in return, is not a man that she can respect. If she can’t respect him, then she’s not going to feel attraction for him and if she can’t feel attraction for him, she will begin falling out of love with him.
Getting Her Back is Possible
Just like it is possible to get a girlfriend back, it is also possible to get a wife to come back. When a man e-mails me or posts up a comment on this site and says, “My wife left me” I instantly feel sorry for him, but I also know that I can definitely help him, so I am glad that he reached out to me for help.
These days, it is fairly common for a marriage to break up temporarily and then get back together, so make sure that you don’t give up and think that you’ve ruined things forever.
As long as the husband can begin to resolve any issues he has, change the unattractive behaviors that he has been displaying and get his wife to start respecting him and feeling attraction for him again, she will automatically begin to reconnect with the the love that she used to feel.
You can get her to feel differently about you and if you are willing to do what it takes to get your wife back, then I am ready to show you the way. I’ve already helped hundreds of men to get a wife back and I would love to help you too.