If you and your wife are separated, it will only be a matter of time before she follows through with a divorce request.
However, you can stop that from happening.
Essentially what you need to do is understand where she is coming from (watch the video below for ideas) and then focus on making her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you as a man.
Without respect, a woman can’t feel truly attracted to a guy and without attraction, she cannot stay connected to her feelings of romantic love.
Watch this video to understand the process that a woman goes through before breaking up with a man and what you need to do to get your wife to reconsider the separation.
As you will see from the video above, it is possible to get her to feel differently about you. You have to guide her through the process of feeling respect for you again (she will feel this when you truly understand where she is coming from and make changes to the way you think, behave and act around her) and she will then allow herself to feel attracted to you again.
Watch this video to understand how a woman’s attraction for a man works and you can use that to get your wife back…
As you will discover from the video above, you are pretty much in complete control over how you make your wife feel.
Today, you may have started out the day feeling like all hope is lost with your marriage, but it’s not. Here are 7 reasons why a man and wife can get back together after a separation…
According to Science Daily, almost 50% of couples break up and get back together again. This means that 50% of all couples resolve their issues and end up being in happy, lasting relationships with their ex.
Right now, you’re in the lucky position of not having lost your wife completely.
Yes, you and your wife are separated and yes, she may even be saying things like, “Leave me alone. I need some space to figure out if I want to be married to you,” or “I don’t love you anymore. My feelings for you are gone.”
Yet, what you need to understand is that your wife can change how she feels about you. Even though she currently doesn’t want to be with you, it does not mean that she has to feel that way forever; her emotions can definitely change.
However, how quickly your wife is going to go from not wanting to be with you, to being open to being with you, depends on the approach that you use.
If you attempt to get her back by trying to convince her that you will change, you will almost certainly fail. To get her back for real, you have to actually make changes to the way that you interact with her.
Essentially, the way that you talk to and interact with your wife is either going to make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you, or it’s not.
If you do this properly and focus your attention on making her feel respect and attraction for you, she will naturally begin to reconnect with her feelings of love for you because…
Love Doesn’t Die
Love is a much more powerful thing than most people realize. Think about where love actually comes from and you will know what I mean.
Even if your wife is saying, “I don’t love you anymore,” it doesn’t mean that the love she felt for you is dead forever. It also doesn’t mean you can’t reconnect with that love or even make that love stronger than it was before. It simply means that, for now, she doesn’t feel like she can be in love with you.
If you and your wife experienced love together, that love will absolutely still be there in the background and she will become open to reconnecting with that love when you make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.
When you get her respect back, you then must focus heavily on making her feel attracted to you (e.g. bring back your old charisma and charm, be masculine in a way that makes her feel feminine in your presence, be confident, be forward moving in life as a man, be funny and positive, etc).
When your wife begins to feel respect and attraction, she will naturally begin to reconnect with the love and when that happens, she will more willing to forgive your past mistakes.
Women love the idea of being in love and, right now, your wife would love to be in love with you again if you were the man she imagined you to be when she said “I do.”
You can make her feel that way again.
You just have to make sure you’re giving her what she needs, and at the same time avoid making the same old mistakes that have been turning her off.
3 Common Mistakes to Avoid
While attempting to get a wife back after a separation, common mistakes that husbands tend to make include the following…
1. “Why are you doing this?!”
Relationships, marriages included, rarely fall apart “out of the blue.”
Yet, when a woman finally breaks up with a relationship after putting up with it for long enough, most guys are shocked by the news and will desperately ask her, “Why are you doing this?!” or “How can you just walk out of our marriage so suddenly without even telling me what’s wrong?!”
The fact is, a woman doesn’t just wake up one morning and think to herself, “I’m bored with my marriage; I think I’d prefer to be separated.” The truth is, she went through a lot of emotional turmoil and tried many times to let her husband know that she was unhappy with certain things in the relationship.
She probably wasn’t always completely clear and direct about what was bothering her, but that’s just the way most women are. Most women don’t want to have to take on the role of teacher in a man’s life and teach him what he needs to know about being a great husband.
If a wife does that once, she will have to do it twice and before long, teaching her husband to be more of a man will gradually begin to eat away at her feelings of respect, attraction and love for him.
Some men are lucky and have a wife who is more direct and brutally honest about what she wants, but a lot of husbands make the mistake of choosing to ignore the problem or write it off as her simply being a moody woman.
Then, when she eventually asks for a separation, her husband feels shocked by how “sudden” it all is and he demands to know “WHY!?” she is so unhappy that she actually wants to leave the marriage and go back on the promise of “Till death do us part” that she made on the wedding day.
When a husband panics and wants his wife to explain why she is leaving him, it simply confirms to her that he hasn’t been paying attention to her all along.
To get your wife back, you need to discover the real reasons why she has separated from you (without her having to tell you), and then take action to make changes to your behavior, conversation style and how you treat her.
Rather than expecting her to explain everything and teach you what you will need to do to get her back, you have to man up and figure that stuff out yourself.
You are already taking that step by reading this article and watching the videos on the page, so if you are serious about getting your wife back, read on…
2. “Please forgive me. I promise you I will change if you come back.”
Most husbands are good men who sincerely love their wife and only want the best for her. For this reason, a husband will quite naturally want to apologize to his wife for how he’s made her feel.
He might also want to say whatever he thinks she wants to hear, for her to change her mind and come back. However, even though his apology may be 100% sincere and from the heart, it won’t change how she feels.
Why? A woman doesn’t want an apology or promises that he will change because she’s most likely heard it all before. Every time they had an argument or fight, he probably said, “I’m sorry! I’ll change. Just give me another chance.”
And she did…
Yet, because he never fully understood what the real reasons were for her unhappiness, he kept offering to fix the wrong things.
For example: A woman might want her husband to be more ambitious and be able to climb through the levels of life like a real man, but he is promising her, “I’ll start doing the dishes more and helping you around the house to show you how much I care” which isn’t actually what she wants from him.
If you want your wife to come back, you’ve got to be offering her what she really wants, not what you think she might want. If you are trying to get her back by apologizing or offering your promise to change, she will feel as though you haven’t heard a word she’s been saying and she won’t be interested in a repeat performance.
What she wants to see is that you truly understand the things that have caused her to lose respect and attraction for you and more importantly, you’ve already begun to fix those things about yourself.
You do not have to become perfect and fix everything 100% before she will appreciate it, but you do have to begin to make real progress in those areas. Your wife likely knows you well enough to see when you are serious about something or not.
3. “How are you? What’s been happening? I’ve been thinking about you? Are you okay?”
It’s normal for a husband to want to check up on his wife when they’re separated, but if he overuses text and e-mail, it almost always creates problems and drives her away further.
Even though he might feel as though he’s just being friendly by staying in touch and checking up with her about her well-being, to her it may be seen as annoying or needy (possibly something that was already an issue in their marriage).
Via text or e-mail, your wife cannot see what state of mind you are really in, she can’t hear your tonality, see your body language or assess your real mood via text as she could on the phone or in person.
So, what does she do?
She does what you are forcing her to do because you are texting and e-mailing her: She guesses.
Not being able to hear you over the phone or see you in person means that she has to guess at what state of mind you are really in and how you’d be coming across if you said that to her in person. In most cases, she’ll be guessing in a negative light.
For example: She could be thinking, “Why is he being such a pest? He knows I need some time to think things through… does he think by being such a nuisance he is making things better?”
If you and your wife are separated, the only time you should be texting is to get her on the phone, so you can then arrange a meet up in person. Then, when you see her in person, you have to show her that you now fully understand what caused the two of you to become separated and have already been making a serious effort to effort to fix your issues and improve yourself.
This is how you will make her feel a renewed sense of respect and sexual attraction for you so that she’ll become open to the idea of coming back to you.
So, don’t waste time or potentially annoy her with pointless text messages or e-mails that explain your feelings. Get yourself ready to meet up with her (i.e. learn the real reasons why the marriage fell apart, make improvements and changes to yourself, get yourself into a confident emotional state and get ready to make an apology and ask her to forgive you) and then meet up with her.
However, just remember that an apology will not get her back unless you first focus on making her feel respect for you and then begin to make her feel attracted to you when you are talking to her on the phone or in person.
Your wife will only really care about what you have to say when her feelings of respect and attraction for you have been triggered. Anything you say prior to that will pretty go in one ear and out the other.
You Don’t Have to Be Perfect to Get Your Wife Back
Getting your wife back is not about you having to become and be the “perfect” husband overnight, or changing who you are deep down as a man. It’s simply about adding to who you are and becoming a stronger, more well-rounded and more attractive version of yourself as a result.
You might have started out today thinking, “My wife and I are separated, and I feel like I’m about to lose her forever,” but it doesn’t have to be that way.
When you present yourself in a way that makes her feel differently, she will naturally start thinking and behaving differently and she will become more open to the idea of fixing your marriage.