Here are 6 essential pieces of second chance relationship advice that every man needs to know, if he sincerely wants to get his ex woman back:
1. Most ex women will seem completely uninterested, until you re-attract them
Sometimes a guy will try his best to get a woman back after a break up, only for her to reject him (again!) and say things like, “Sorry, but I’m not interested. It’s over. You need to move on.”
At that point, he might give up and walk away, feeling as though he’s lost the love of his life forever.
Yet, what a guy like that doesn’t realize is that even when a woman hates a guy, if he interacts with her and sparks some respect and attraction inside of her (i.e. by showing her that he’s truly leveled up in some of the ways that matter to her), her feelings will automatically begin to change.
She might not want them to, but she won’t have any control over them (i.e. because when you display traits that women naturally find attractive, she will automatically feel drawn to you, whether she wants to or not).
On the other hand, if you give up at the first sign of resistance from her (i.e. when she says she’s not interested in you anymore), you may lose your second chance with her.
So, you have to be ready to maintain your confidence, regardless of what she says or does to push you away.
Then, you need to spark her sexual and romantic feelings for the new and improved you, so that you can bring down her guard and get her back.
2. Asking for a second chance at a relationship before re-attracting her will usually result in a, “No”
The fundamental rule to getting an ex back is: Attraction comes first and everything else follows after that.
Unfortunately, some guys aren’t aware of that fact and make the mistake of asking for a second chance before they’ve fully re-sparked their ex’s sexual and romantic feelings.
The guy is then left feeling hurt and bewildered when she says, “No.”
So, if you want your ex to give you another chance, you need to make sure that you reactivate her feelings of respect and sexual attraction for you first.
A few examples of how you can do that are:
- Take control during interactions in an emotionally masculine manner and lead the way, rather than constantly worrying about what she’s thinking, or if she’ll get annoyed if you don’t let her call the shots.
- Be confident and believe in your value to her, rather than thinking negative thoughts such as, “I don’t stand a chance with her anymore.”
- Be flirtatious and create as much sexual tension between you and her so that she wants to release it with hugging, kissing and sex, rather than being nice or neutral around her and pretending that you only want to be her friend,
The more you make her feel attracted in ways that she always wanted but didn’t get, the more her sexual and romantic feelings for you start flooding back.
She then wants to give you a second chance, because it feels right to her.
Before you know it, she’s over at your place, or you are at her place and you hug, kiss and have sex.
If you’ve done a great job at re-attracting her, then the make up sex will feel amazing for her.
She will feel so in love with you again and wanting to give the relationship another chance.
3. Even if your ex is interested, she might not want to show that in case you reject her
Sometimes, a woman will secretly still have feelings for her ex and is hoping that they will get back together.
However, rather than make it obvious to him, the best she might do is give him subtle signs and wait for him to take the lead and make it happen.
For example: She might be open to interacting with him via text, social media or on phone calls, but she won’t openly show interest in case he says something like, “Hey, I enjoy chatting sometimes, but I want to make it clear that I’m not interested in a relationship.”
Alternatively, she fears that if he realizes how she feels about him, the thrill of the chase will fade away for him (i.e. he sees that he can easily get her back and loses interest in chasing her).
She will then end up feeling rejected, hurt and left behind.
So, rather than her taking a risk and having it backfire on her, your ex may just be waiting to see if you have the courage to make a move.
If you do, she will quickly open up to giving the relationship a second chance.
However, if you don’t she may then force herself to move on and find a new man to be in a relationship with.
4. You don’t have to wait for weeks or months to start the ex back process
Some guys think that giving a woman lots if space (i.e. using the No Contact Rule and ignoring her for 30 or 60 days) will make her change her mind about the break up.
Yet, that almost never works out and the guy ends up losing her to another man.
The fact is, in most cases, the sooner you start reactivating a woman’s feelings the better.
So, don’t hesitate.
Strike while the iron is hot (i.e. while she’s still single and possibly missing you).
Interact with her over the phone and in person and re-spark her sexual and romantic feelings for you again.
You can do that by being easy-going and flirtatious so she feels relaxed and happy around you again.
Then, when her defenses are down, initiate a hug, kissing, hook up with her sexually and get her back.
5. She will back out if she senses that the relationship dynamic will be the same or worse than before
What a lot of guys don’t know is that the relationship dynamic that makes a woman feel the happiest, most in love and makes her want to stick in a relationship with a guy is one that is balanced.
For example: A woman doesn’t want a man who is always giving and she’s always taking, because that makes her feel more valuable than him.
When she feels that way, she then can’t look up to him and respect him and then the idea of submitting to him sexually doesn’t appeal to her.
At the same time, she doesn’t want to be the one who is always giving and he’s the one who is taking, because she then feels taken for granted.
This then leads to her feeling angry, bitter and resentful towards him, which isn’t a good basis for a healthy relationship.
So, if you want a second chance with your ex, you need to make sure that you create a relationship balance where you’re good to her and she feels motivated to treat you well too.
Only then will she want you back.
6. Most women know that reunited love (and sex) feels amazing
If your ex loved you before and she can see that you truly have transformed yourself into a better man, then she will almost certainly want to give the relationship a second chance.
She will instinctively understand that when a couple improves and changes and becomes even better as a result of the mistakes that were made before, the relationship naturally feels more amazing.
She realizes that she could be so much happier, so much more in love and so much more fulfilled this time around.
As a result, her defenses come down and she opens back up to giving you a second chance.
You can then lead her through the finals steps of the ex back process and enjoy the good times ahead.
5 Mistakes to Avoid Making if You Want a Second Chance With Her
1. Asking her for another chance because you love her
Those are your feelings not hers.
In fact, she may even get annoyed and see you as being selfish if you talk to her about how much you love her.
She only cares about her feelings right now, not yours.
So, focus on making her have strong sexual and romantic feelings for you during interactions (e.g. by breaking down her defenses with humor, being flirtatious, being more manly).
When you do, she will also appreciate that you still love her and she will open back up to giving you another chance.
2. Asking for another chance at a relationship, even though she isn’t attracted
Right now, you have feelings for your ex, but she probably doesn’t have feelings for you.
So, if you ask her for a second chance, she will likely refuse.
The truth is, for a relationship to get back together, there needs to be mutual feelings.
It doesn’t have to be exactly mutual, but she needs to have some feelings for you (e.g. she is 60% – 70% into the idea of getting back with you).
If you try to get her back when she’s at 0% or even 30%, then you’re likely going to end up feeling like she’s being stubborn and uncooperative.
Yet, she’s not.
She’s just not motivated to want you back yet.
So, if you want another chance with your ex, you need to reactivate her feelings for you first.
When you do, you will notice how quickly and easily she opens back up to being your girl again.
3. Trying to attract her in ways that don’t matter to her
For example: Some of the ways guys will try to win an ex woman back are by…
- Being extra nice to her.
- Promising her that he will do whatever she wants if she gives him another chance.
- Changing his physical appearance to become more attractive to her (e.g. building some muscle, getting new clothes or a different hairstyle).
- Sending her flowers or gifts.
- Writing her a love letter or card.
Yet, that rarely works.
The thing you need to get clear on, is that what matters most to a woman is how you make her feel when she’s interacting with you (e.g. happy, interested, attracted, or bored, turned off, annoyed).
When you give her the kind of attraction experience she always wanted from you but didn’t get, she will naturally begin to drop her guard and allow herself to open back up to the idea of being in a relationship with you again.
4. Trying to get her back by showing her how committed you are to making it work
Sometimes, a guy assumes that if he shows his ex how serious he is about the relationship (e.g. by going to therapy, staying faithful to her even though they’re broken up), she will be impressed and want him back.
Yet, here’s the thing…
If she has lost respect and attraction for him, she’s not going to really care.
Instead, if she currently perceives him in a negative light, she’s likely just going to think that he’s desperately trying to impress her and she will feel turned off by him even more.
So, rather than try to impress your ex by showing her how committed you are to making the relationship work, focus instead on reactivating her feelings for you during interactions.
Then, not only will she be happy that you’re serious about getting her back, she will feel equally motivated to make the relationship work too.
5. Trying to get her back on the basis that you are genuinely sorry for your mistakes
Actions speak louder than words.
So, don’t bother telling your ex how sorry you are, in the hope that she will want you back.
Of course, it’s perfectly fine to apologize for making mistakes in the relationship with her.
However, one short, sincere apology is enough.
Then, after you’ve said you’re sorry, it’s much more important to focus on showing her, via your attitude, actions, behavior and the way you respond to her that you’ve leveled up in some of the ways that are important to her.
When she can see that you’re now more of the man she always wanted you to be, it will make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.
Then, the idea of reconnecting with her feelings for you and giving you a second chance starts to feel like something she may be willing to do.