5 common reasons why a woman will do that:
1. She really meant it at the time, but then met a new guy and changed her mind
There are many reasons why a woman will decide to break up with a man, other than that she no longer has feelings for him (e.g. she is getting pressured by family or friends to dump him because they feel that he’s not right for her, she has work or study commitments that she needs to focus on, she is really young and inexperienced and can’t handle the stress of a mature relationship, she’s moving away to a different city/state/country).
In cases like that, it’s not unusual for a woman to still have feelings for her guy, so she will likely say things like, “I know this is difficult for both of us right now, but I promise we will get back together again one day.”
Naturally, when a guy hears something like that, it gives him a sense of hope for the future, so he might then wait for her to come back to him and avoid moving on with his life in any way (e.g. he doesn’t date other women and remains loyal to his ex).
This may go on for weeks, months and in some extreme cases, even years.
Essentially, he thinks that because he’s being faithful to his ex, she will be faithful to him.
Yet, it doesn’t work that way.
Instead, if another man comes along and makes her feel attracted in new and exciting ways (e.g. he is more emotionally masculine and makes her feel like a sexy woman when she’s with him while her ex made her feel more like a friend, he’s more emotionally independent while her ex was too needy and clingy, he’s more assertive and stands up to her when she creates drama while her ex was too submissive around her and allowed her to get away with bad behavior), she will almost certainly open herself up to him and forget about her promise to her ex.
Then, when her ex asks something like, “How much longer do you need before we can get back together?” rather than give him the answer he wants (i.e. “Soon” or “Let’s do it now”), she instead says something along the lines of, “I’m sorry. I know I promised you that we would get back together again, but I’ve changed my mind. I really do care for you, but I think we’re better off just being friends. That’s just what I feel. I hope you understand.”
He is then left feeling confused and probably even a bit annoyed at her for giving him mixed messages.
So, if your ex promised that you would get back together but has now changed her mind, she may have met a new guy recently who is making her feel more respect and attraction than you.
However, that doesn’t mean that the new man is perfect and that you can’t get her back.
In fact, when you make some attractive adjustments to the way you think, act and behave around her, you will be ready to properly re-attract her.
This is why, you need to first understand what aspects of the attraction experience were missing in your relationship with your ex and then change those things about yourself (e.g. become more confident and self-assured, more manly, less emotionally sensitive or closed off).
If you try to get her back by offering her the wrong things (e.g. she wants you to be more manly but you promise to let her make all the decisions in the ex back process), you’re just going to push her even more into the new guy’s arms.
You have to give her the kind of attraction experience that she really wants.
Additionally, if you are able to attract her in ways that her new guy can’t (e.g. you make her laugh, whereas he’s too serious, you are more supportive of her dreams and ambitions than he is), she will begin to have second thoughts about not getting back with you like she promised.
When that happens, she will open back up to you and you can then build on her feelings for you and get her back for real.
Another reason why a woman might do that is…
2. She didn’t ever mean it and was just trying to create distance between you and her, so she could have enough time to move on
Sometimes, a woman might worry that her man is too emotionally weak to cope with the idea of being broken up.
So, rather than risk him breaking down and crying, pleading and begging her to give him another chance or trying to convince her to change her mind (e.g. by bringing up the past, promising her that this time he really will change), she instead tries to buy some time so she can move on first, by promising him that they will get back together again one day.
However, in reality she has no intention of ever doing that and will likely even try to find herself a replacement man as quickly as possible.
In the meantime, her ex is left feeling hopeful and like things will eventually work out for them.
He may then give her a few weeks or months of space and hope that she follows through on her promise and comes back.
Yet, that never happens, because she’s been using the time to fully disconnect from her feelings for him and move on.
This is why, if you want your ex to keep her promise to you, you can’t just back off and wait for her to return to you when she feels ready.
Instead, you need to continue to interact with her every chance you get (e.g. via text, social media and most importantly over the phone and in person) and actively keep sparking her sexual and romantic feelings for you.
Of course that doesn’t mean you should be clingy, needy or desperate about it and turn her off even more.
Instead, remain calm and focus on reactivating her feelings for you so that she changes her mind about wanting to move on.
For example: Some of the ways you can do that are by…
- Making her smile and laugh and feel relaxed every time she interacts with you (especially over the phone and in person), rather than trying to get into discussions about when she’ll be ready to get back together again.
- Maintaining your confidence regardless of how many excuses she makes about it not being the right time to get back together yet.
- Flirting with her to create sexual tension between you, rather than just being nice, friendly, neutral or distant around her.
- Believing in yourself and in your value to her, rather than doubting yourself and then making her feel as though she has power over you.
- Being happy, confident and forward moving in your life, with or without her support, approval or attention, rather than sitting around waiting for her to give you another chance and making her feel turned off by your neediness as a result.
When you start making her feel sexually and romantically attracted to you again, moving on doesn’t seem like such a good idea to her anymore.
As a result, her guard comes down and she opens herself up to getting back together again just like she promised you would.
Another reason why a woman might do that is…
3. She meant it, but after thinking about it for a while, she has realized that it probably wouldn’t work
Sometimes, a woman might genuinely feel confident about the chances of her and her ex getting back together again when she breaks up with him.
For example: She might think to herself, “I know we have some problems right now, which is why it’s best if we break up. However, if he makes some changes, we can work things out and give our relationship another chance.”
However, as the days, or even weeks go by, she begins to change her mind.
She knows that her ex hasn’t really changed (i.e. because she can pick it up in his actions, behavior, attitude and the way he responds to her).
So she realizes that getting back with him would not only be a waste of her time, she would also have to put herself through another break up, which she doesn’t want.
This is why, it’s very important that you show your ex that you’ve started to transform yourself into a better man and take away any doubts she might still have about not being happy in a relationship with you this time around.
For example: Some of the changes she might want to see in you are…
- You’re loving, caring and attentive towards her, but you don’t let her push you around, get away with bad behavior or be disrespectful towards you.
- You maintain your confidence when she tries to make you feel insecure by teasing you, throwing a tantrum or creating drama.
- You use humor to change her mood from angry, annoyed or sulky to happy and relaxed, rather than getting dragged into her fake drama and losing control of your emotions.
- You make her feel sexy and desirable, rather than making her feel friendly or neutral feelings when she’s interacting with you.
- You believe in yourself and in your value to her and to other women, rather than feeling like she’s out of your league, or like you could never attract another, quality woman.
- You’re secure in your masculinity and take the lead in the relationship, rather being submissive and handing your power over to her.
- You understand that in order for a woman to want to stay with you for life, the attraction between you and her needs to be mutual, rather than you feeling attracted to her, but not doing anything to make her feel the same way about you.
The more she can see that you really have changed and improved in the ways that are important to her, the more likely it is that she will change her mind again (i.e. she will want to get back with you now).
As a result, she will open back up to you and you can then confidently guide her back into a relationship with you.
Another reason why a woman might do that is…
4. She didn’t mean it and was trying to avoid hurting your feelings
In some cases, a man is a really good guy and a nice, supportive boyfriend.
He treats his woman well (e.g. spoils her with breakfast in bed, gives her foot massages after a hard day at work, buys her flowers from time to time) and doesn’t really do anything wrong.
Yet, his woman just doesn’t feel a spark with him (i.e. she’s not sexually attracted to him).
So, because she can’t come up with a valid reason to break up with him, she might just say something along the lines of, “I need to take some time to figure out what I want in my life. It’s not you though, it’s me. I promise, once I sort myself out, we will get back together again.”
In this way, she can let him down gently, without hurting his feelings too much (i.e. because he will be expecting them to get back together again sometime in the future).
At the same time, she’s likely hoping that he will give her the space she needs to move on and find another guy who does make her feel the way she wants to feel in a relationship (i.e. excited, sexually attracted, desirable).
So, if your ex promised that you would get back together but has now changed her mind, it could be because it was never her real intention.
Instead, she may have been using it as an excuse to get out of the relationship without you making a fuss about it.
Don’t worry though.
If you want her back, all you need to do is relight the spark of attraction inside of her and when you do, she will start to feel drawn to you again.
So, make sure that every time you interact with her from now on (e.g. over the phone and especially when you see her in person), you actively spark her feelings of sexual attraction for you by making her feel sexy and desirable, rather than just being nice, polite, or neutral with her.
Some guys worry about doing that because they fear it might convince her even more to not give them another chance.
Yet, in almost all cases, the opposite is true.
It actually makes her want to change her mind and get back together again.
So, don’t be afraid to build up the desire in her.
The more attracted you make her feel to you, the more she will want to keep her promise to you after all.
Another reason why a woman will promise to get back with her boyfriend, but then changed her mind later on is…
5. She wanted to keep you waiting around so she could move on before you
Sometimes a woman will promise to get back together with her ex, just to keep him hanging around and prevent him from moving.
Meanwhile, she will be secretly flirting with new guys and finding herself a replacement man, so that she can move on before him.
Even if a woman seems very confident about herself and her attractiveness to her guy and to other men, deep down she might be feeling insecure about her ability to find a new man to hook up with, date and start a relationship with.
So, to improve her chances of moving on first, she promises to get back with her ex until she finds her next man and then conveniently changes her mind.
Here’s the thing though…
You don’t have to sit around and wait for your ex to come back to you.
In fact, if you move on before she does, it would hurt her and cause her to come running back to you.
She’d feel attracted to you for not being an emotional wreck because she left you and for getting yourself a new woman so easily.
She may then start to think things like, “I never realized it before, but I don’t like the idea of him being with another woman. I don’t know why, but it makes me miss him and want him back. All of a sudden the idea of losing him makes me feel scared. Hopefully it’s not already too late to tell him that I’ve changed my mind about us getting back together again.”
She might then text, call or even show up unexpectedly at your house or workplace to try and get you back.
It’s then up to you to decide whether you want to stay with your new woman, or get back into a relationship with your ex, where she now feels so much more motivated to be a good, loving, devoted woman to you because she doesn’t want to lose you again.
Avoid the Following 2 Problems to Get Her Back Easier and Faster
If your ex changed her mind once, she can easily change it again.
It all depends on your approach from this point onwards.
This is why, you need to prepare yourself first, by understanding the problems you might be faced with.
1. Believing in a woman’s promise that she made based on emotion
Emotions can and do change.
Promises from a woman that are based on a feeling in the moment are subject to change.
This applies to perfect relationships and dysfunctional relationships.
Women always do it.
The truth is, it doesn’t matter what your ex promised you in the heat of the moment during your break up.
It’s just how she felt then.
However, it’s not how she feels now.
Yet, to get her back, what she feels now is what counts.
So, forget about everything up to now and focus instead on making her feel strong surges of sexual and romantic attraction for you every single time you interact with her.
The more intense her feelings of attraction for you become, the more she will want to get back with you again.
On the other hand, if you make her feel neutral feelings during interactions, or even turn her off, she’s not going to care what she promised you before.
That’s how it works.
The next problem that might slow your chances of getting your ex back is…
2. Not knowing what parts of the attraction experience were missing, or not being willing to improve to match up to what she really wants
If you want to get your ex back for real, one of the most important steps you have to take is to understand her real, secret reasons for breaking up with you (e.g. you were too clingy and needy, you stopped being the confident man she fell for originally, you weren’t assertive enough so she felt more emotionally dominant than you).
Then, when you interact with her again (e.g. on a phone call or in person), you can make her feel attracted in the ways she always wanted.
The mistake that a lot of guys make is to use old, outdated approaches to re-attract their ex, which only makes her realize that he has absolutely no idea what is attractive to a woman when in a relationship.
Alternatively, she realizes that he’s simply not interested in changing and improving and just expects her to accept him the way he was, seeing as she was the one who promised to come back to him.
Yet, it doesn’t work that way.
If a woman doesn’t feel that she will be gaining by getting back with you, she’s not going to be motivated to give you another chance.
On the other hand, if she notices that you’re now at a level of understanding that surpasses most men out there, she will want to make good on her promise and get back together with you.