Many women do give an ex boyfriend another chance, even if she seemed so certain about the breakup when it happened.
So, if you really do want her back, be sure to keep the following 11 tips in mind when you get her to say, “Yes” to giving you another chance:
1. Make sure to tap into her #1 motivator for wanting to say yes
The # motivator for women is sexual and romantic attraction.
Sexual and romantic attraction is so powerful that it can make a woman do things that she previously said she wouldn’t (e.g. give an ex another chance, forgive him for hurting her), or go against what she decided (e.g. to stop trying to move on and just get back with her boyfriend).
It’s also why a woman will say things like, “I just want a nice guy” and then go for a player, bad boy or jerk.
The woman simply can’t stop herself from becoming overwhelmed by the attraction she feels (e.g. to the confidence, ballsiness, or boldness of the guy) and as a result, she just goes along with the pickup.
So, if you want your ex to say yes, be sure to focus on making her feel a renewed sense of sexual and romantic attraction for you.
If you’re not sure whether or not you’re doing it right, just ask yourself the following questions while interacting with her:
- Am I coming across as confident and emotionally strong, or am I giving off an insecure, needy or emotionally weak vibe?
- Am I adding in flirting to create sexual tension (sexual tension makes a woman want to have sex with you), or am I just being neutral like a friend (being a friend places you in the friend zone if a woman doesn’t have feelings for you)?
- Am I creating a dynamic that motivates her to want to impress me and get me back, or am I giving her the impression she can treat me like crap and I’ll just take it because I’m desperate for another chance?
- Am I letting her sense that I have leveled up based on how I now talk, behave and react to her, or am I trying to convince her to give me another chance by telling her that I’ve changed and hoping she’ll believe me?
When you focus on making her feel attracted, the ex back process becomes very easy.
However, if you try to discuss your way back into a relationship, she will put her guard up and feel compelled to keep pushing you away.
A woman doesn’t want to get back into a relationship with a man she isn’t attracted to.
2. Re-attract her and then don’t ask for another chance
When you re-attract her (e.g. by being more confident than you previously were, being more assertive in a loving way, flirting with her, being more masculine in the way you talk, behave and come across) and then don’t push for a relationship, it causes a woman to feel like she wants to give the relationship another chance.
This is exciting and enjoyable for her because women love the feeling of chasing a guy and trying to win him over.
It puts her in a position where she has to use her charms to make you want a relationship with her (e.g. being sweet, nice, very friendly, warm, loving, laughing at your jokes, complimenting you, making herself look more physically attractive, being more feminine and girly, being submissive and compliant).
In the process of doing that, she naturally develops new, compelling feelings for you that are addictive and almost impossible to stop.
You then end up giving her another chance with you.
Of course, all of that can be ruined if you immediately try to get her to commit to a relationship after re-attracting her.
In that case, she can play hard to get, seem unsure and ask for space if she wants to drag out the breakup.
Most guys mess up at that point and either become needy and start begging for another chance, or end up giving the woman an ultimatum to force her to make a yes or no decision.
The woman then decides to say no, because women don’t like to be forced into having a relationship with a man.
So, if you want the process to be easy, just re-attract her and then let her be the one who feels the need to mention getting back together.
Then, give her another chance with you.
In some cases, a guy can achieve that right away (i.e. he interacts with his ex, makes her feel attracted, doesn’t push for a relationship and she then begins hinting at getting back together, or directly says that she wants to. He then gets back with her).
Yet, sometimes a woman won’t say anything and will simply be feeling attracted and wanting you back.
In a case like that…
3. Give her a few days, or up to a week of space after re-attracting her
She will miss you and be thinking about you during that time.
Attraction isn’t something that can be ignored, forgotten or tossed aside very easily.
It’s a very addictive, compelling and almost irresistible feeling.
So, when she doesn’t hear from you for a few days (a week at the most. Don’t wait longer than that to contact her), she will almost certainly contact you in some way (e.g. text, call, comment on your social media).
If she doesn’t contact you (some women won’t due to worrying about being rejected if their ex has changed his mind and no longer wants her back), just contact her after a few days (or up to a week) and arrange to catch up in person.
Then, attract her at the catch up and get back together.
4. Don’t explain the reasons why she should give you another chance
In general, men tend to make decisions based on logical reasoning.
On the other hand, women almost always go with how they feel, even if it doesn’t seem logical or to make sense (e.g. get with a bad boy when she really just wants a nice guy, or dump a guy who is treating her well, but she doesn’t feel attracted to because he’s too neutral or too nice).
This is why you will see women change their opinions, desires or wants like the weather.
One day she says this, the next she says that.
That’s women for you.
So, regardless of how compelling your argument is for her to give you another chance (e.g. you’ll treat her better, you know how you stuffed up and can fix it, you promise to do what she wants, you have changed and believe the relationship will now work), she’s not going to care if you haven’t changed how she feels (i.e. you haven’t re-attracted her yet).
Additionally, if you try to convince a woman with logic alone (or based on you how feel about her, which is separate to how she feels about you), she will see you as being selfish and possibly resent you for trying to manipulate her.
This is why the best approach to getting a woman back is to make her feel attracted to the new and improved you.
Interact with her and let her experience the new and improved you.
She will pick up on the changes in you (e.g. your new level of confidence, your improved emotional maturity, your improved ability to make her feel girly in response to your masculinity, your ability to handle her personality type and make her feel the need to respect you and treat you well) automatically, without you having to tell her.
When you get the re-attraction part right, everything just falls into place and you don’t need to try to get her to say yes to giving you another chance.
She naturally wants you and her to have another chance and it happens smoothly and effortlessly.
5. Focus on making her smile, laugh and genuinely feel happy when she interacts with you
When you do that, she stops focusing on your mistakes, or on the reasons why she doesn’t want to be with you anymore.
Instead, she begins to look at you in a more positive light and reconnect with the fun, easygoing boyfriend-girlfriend vibe you once shared when things were good.
As a result, she naturally wants to interact with you more to see assess how she feels (e.g. have you truly changed as a man, or are you just putting on an act to impress her and will go back to turning her off again if she gives you another chance? Does she feel attracted all or most of the time now, or was she just feeling good in the heat of the moment? Does she feel excited and optimistic about working things out with you, or does she feel like she’s trying to fix a relationship that is unfixable?).
The more she enjoys interacting with you, the more she will realize that you’re not so bad after all.
She will then want to say, “Yes” to giving you another chance because it’s something that she wants.
That last part is important.
When getting an ex back, you have to understand that her feelings are what matter the most to her now.
When she was with you in a relationship, she likely cared about your feelings more than her own at some point (or most of the time), but now that you’ve broken up, she is focused on how she feels.
When you make her feel attracted, she feels drawn to you.
That’s how it works.
Another tip on how to get your ex to say yes to giving you another chance, is…
6. Don’t try to make her feel as though she owes it to you to give you another chance
Some guys try to make their ex woman feel guilty (e.g. by reminding her that she promised never to leave him, or that they used to be in love and things just got messed up, so she owes it to him to give him a chance to fix things), as a way of hopefully getting her to agree to give him another chance.
Yet, that approach almost always backfires because women don’t like being blackmailed, or guilt-tripped into a relationship with a guy.
Here’s the reality…
Even if a woman once talked about being together forever with her boyfriend and promised to never leave him, it’s not an unbreakable contract.
It’s just a woman’s word, which is almost always only based on how she feels in the moment.
She may have truly meant it in the moment, but if her feelings change, she will mean the new thing that she says (i.e. “I’m breaking up with you” or, “I don’t feel the same way anymore. I can’t do this. It’s over”).
So, don’t try to get her to feel like she owes you another chance for some reason.
She’s not going to care.
All she cares about now that you’ve broken up, is how she feels (i.e. does she feel attracted to you, or turned off by you?).
If she no longer feels attracted and you haven’t done what is required to re-attract her, then she’s not obligated to give you another chance.
It might suck to hear that and it might seem unfair, but that’s how relationships go.
There has to be mutual attraction and love, so it feels fair for both people, rather than just for one of them.
7. Let her sense that you’ve learned your lesson and have leveled up
Important: She has to sense that by herself.
You saying something like, “Hey, I really have changed. I’m not needy/clingy/insecure/ (or whatever you’ve improved about yourself) anymore,” isn’t going to work.
The reason why, is that a woman will usually assume that you’re just saying it because you want another chance with her.
In other words, it’s just talk.
Yet, she wants to see it in action, so she can actually believe it.
This is why, you need to allow her to sense it, or pick up on it during conversations and interactions.
For example: If a guy was insecure in the relationship, he can show his ex that he’s changed by remaining confident around her, no matter what she says or does.
Even if she tries to ‘trick’ him into being insecure by saying that she’s happier without him, or that there are other guys interested in her and she’s considering going on dates with them, he doesn’t lose his cool.
He remains confident, relaxed and believes in his attractiveness and value to her.
He also continues to build on her feelings for him with humor, flirting and playful teasing.
She then realizes that the changes in him are real.
He’s not just pretending to no longer be insecure; he really has leveled up as a man.
Sensing that allows her to drop her guard and open up to giving him another chance, because the relationship really would be different now.
8. Don’t ask her for an all or nothing commitment
Women hate ultimatums about relationships.
An ultimatum (e.g. “You either give me another chance, or I will never speak to you again” or, “I don’t want to be just friends. I want a relationship or nothing. You decide”) makes her feel like she is being manipulated into a relationship, which isn’t what women find attractive.
The best approach is to simply accept the breakup and then get her to agree to be friends from now on.
She then doesn’t feel pressured or like she’s being manipulated or forced into getting back with you.
It also gives you an excuse to interact with her as a friend, which you can then use to re-attract her.
Important: Don’t make the mistake of being a nice, sweet or neutral friend.
Use the interactions you have with her, to spark new feelings of sexual and romantic attraction (e.g. by flirting, being more confident than you used to be, being assertive in a loving way, making her feel girly in comparison to your masculine approach), so she naturally wants to give you another chance.
9. Make sure that you honestly feel worthy of another chance
Sometimes a guy doesn’t believe he deserves another chance because of how badly he stuffed up (e.g. he became very angry during the break up, he took her for granted in the relationship, he was too insecure, clingy or needy)
It’s understandable, but it’s not something you should do.
Women automatically feel turned off, if they sense a guy’s self-doubt or insecurity.
The reason why is that women are naturally turned off by emotional weakness, fear and desperation in men.
Women pick up on these things via a guy’s body language and the way he talks, interacts and behaves around her.
If she senses insecurity, fear or desperation, she naturally feels like she is better than him, or more valuable than him.
In the case of an ex, a woman can then begin to feel like she would be trading down if she got back with her ex, rather than getting back with a guy who is valuable and someone she can look up to, respect and follow.
So, if you want her back, make sure that you absolutely believe she would be lucky to get another chance with you, rather than the other way around.
Believe it and let her sense it.
Don’t be arrogant about it, of course.
Just let her sense it based on how confident and self-assured you are, while also treating her well and making her feel loved, appreciated and respected.
10. Once she is re-attracted, let her sense that you could be happy without her and easily find a new woman
Letting her sense that makes her realize that she’s not going to be doing you a favor by getting back with you.
Instead, she’s lucky that a man like you has chosen her, even though you can easily attract and hook up with other quality women.
Don’t say that to her.
Instead, let her see that you’re emotionally independent and living a happy and interesting life without her in it (e.g. by posting confident, happy photos of you with other people on social media, not always being available when she wants to see you, not always responding to her texts right away, talking about your plans without worrying what she will think).
She will realize that other women will find you attractive and you could easily move on without her, which then makes her feel a little rejected and left behind.
If you’ve re-attracted her and she then feels like that, she will want to say yes to giving you another chance, rather than continuing to feel like the rejected one.
11. Don’t give up if she isn’t immediately open to it
Some women play hard to get with an ex even when they are interested in getting back together.
For example: A woman will often do that because…
- She’s testing to see how confident her ex now is (i.e. does he have the confidence and courage to continue the process of getting her back, even though she’s not making it easy for him?).
- She’s testing to see how interested he really is about getting her back (i.e. does he truly care about her and love her, or is he just trying to get her back to boost his ego after being dumped?)
- She doesn’t want to come across as being too easy, which might then result in him assuming he doesn’t need to change anything to get her to say yes to giving him another chance.
- She wants to see how genuine he is, or if he’s only planning on getting her back so he can dump her and get revenge.
So, if your ex doesn’t seem open immediately, don’t give up.
Just remain confident, keep going through the process and get her back.
In most cases, you can get an ex back immediately or very quickly, if you know what you’re doing.
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