It depends on how serious you are about getting her back.
If you sincerely want her back, then no – don’t give up on her.
Just use a different approach to give her the attraction experience that she wanted from you all along.
For example: Some of the ways that you can do that include…
- React differently to what she says and does (e.g. if she acts cold and indifferent towards you, rather than get upset about it, you remain calm and confident and turn her coldness into something for both of you to laugh about).
- Focus on making her smile, laugh and feel happy to be around you, rather than getting into serious conversations about the relationship, or trying to make her change her mind by begging, pleading and telling her how much you still care about her.
- Make her feel feminine and girly when she interacts with you, rather than making her feel neutral, or even worse, making her feel more emotionally dominant than you and allowing her to call the shots. Even though she is your ex and is acting like she has the right to call the shots, she will actually respond more positively to you if you regain the position of power. You’ve got to do it in a relaxed, easy-going way though. It’s not about demanding to be in position of power again.
- Show her via your thinking, behavior and actions that you’ve fixed some of the issues that turned her off (e.g. If you were insecure and self-doubting, you are now more confident and self-assured. If you were too nice and allowed her to dominate you with her confident personality, you are now more ballsy and emotionally masculine and you stand up to her or laugh at her (in a loving way) when she’s being pushy).
When your ex girlfriend can see that you’re not the same man she broke up with, it becomes difficult for her to hold on to her negative feelings about you.
She is forced to reevaluate her perception of you and has to admit to herself that you’re not like you used to be.
You really have changed and the changes feel attractive to her.
She then drops her guard and you can then guide her back into a relationship with you.
Getting Her Back For the Right Reasons
If you don’t really want your ex girlfriend back and are only trying to hook up with her one last time to feel good about yourself, then you’re not really going to get the confidence boost you are seeking.
Your confidence in yourself needs to be independent of her validation.
If you need her acceptance to feel confident about yourself, then you’re not confident – you’re insecure.
The way that a real man manages his confidence is by being a self-approving, masculine man.
He doesn’t need other people to approve of him to feel confident or good about himself.
He approves of himself and knows that he is a good man, he is valuable, his is loveable and doesn’t need anyone woman or person to keep reassuring him of that fact.
He knows it.
Here’s the really interesting thing though…
When a man knows that he is worthy, loveable and attractive (because he decides so. He approves of himself), he actually gives off the type of confidence and has the kind of swagger that women find naturally attractive.
He might not look very good physically, but women will say, “There’s something about him. He’s sexy.”
Yeah, he’s a self-approving, masculine man.
He isn’t looking to people around him to say, “Hey, you’re okay. You’re worthy.”
He just approves of himself and as a result, he has a calm, easy-going, loveable type of confidence that not only makes women feel attracted to him, but makes other guys respect him too.
So, if you want to get your ex back because you need her to make you feel good about yourself again, it’s going to backfire.
Women can smell insecurity a mile away…and it doesn’t smell good at all.
Women are naturally attracted to confidence in men and naturally turned off by insecurity.
So, if you want to succeed at getting your ex girlfriend back, make sure that you understand how to be a truly confident man, rather than trying to gain confidence by way of her showing interest in you again.
If your ex girlfriend picks up on your insecurity and realizes that you need her back to feel good about yourself, she will close up.
Have You Been Making the Ex Back Process More Difficult For Yourself?
Getting an ex woman back is fairly easy in most cases.
I know this because I’ve been helping men get women back for many years now and I have heard back from 100s of men who’ve successfully gotten a woman back.
In most cases, the woman hates her ex and doesn’t want anything to do with him anymore.
Yet, he gets her back.
You can do that too.
However, if you are making any of the following classic mistakes, you will simply be making the ex back process harder than it is or you will be ruining your chances with her altogether…
1. Using the No Contact Rule (ignoring her for 30-60 days)
Sometimes, when a guy is trying to get his ex woman back after a break up and she is ignoring him (i.e. by not responding to his texts, e-mails or social media messages and not answering his calls), or by being cold and unfriendly, he might make the mistake of thinking that cutting off communication with her for 30 to 60 days is the only way to make her miss him and then want him back.
However, in most cases, that tactic just doesn’t work on women after a serious break up.
To begin with, when a woman breaks up with a guy, it’s usually because she has lost respect and attraction for him over time.
Unless she is still secretly in love with the guy and is hoping that they will get back together again, or if she is struggling to find herself a replacement guy, ignoring her for weeks or months isn’t going to worry her.
Of course, a woman may wonder why her ex isn’t contacting her, but if she’s sure that he can’t change and become the kind of man she needs him to be (e.g. become truly confident, emotionally secure, emotionally mature), she’s just going to focus on moving on quickly and finding a replacement guy.
So, if your ex girlfriend doesn’t have feelings for you right now, ignoring her for 30 or 60 days isn’t a very good idea, because you will just be making it easier for her to get over you and move on.
If you don’t want to give up on your ex girlfriend, the best way to get her back is to be active about it.
Actively re-spark her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you and actively guide her back into a relationship with you, before it’s too late.
Whether you’re interacting with her via text, on social media, over the phone, or in person, make sure that you’re making her smile, laugh and feel happy to be in contact with you again.
The more respect and attraction you make her feel when you’re interacting with her, the more that her defenses will come down and open she will become to the idea of getting back together again.
On the other hand, if your main method of trying to get you back is to ignore her for 30 or 60 days, she may just use that time to get over you and find herself another guy who makes her feel exciting lust and new love.
A lot of guys wonder, “Should I give up on my ex girlfriend?” when they are using the no contact approach to getting an ex back.
A guy will hope that cutting off communication will do the trick, but it just doesn’t work on most women.
You’ve got to actively make her feel something for you again and when you do that, she starts to change her thinking and behavior.
She goes back to looking at you as a potential boyfriend again, or at least wants to hook up with you one last time sexually to see how she feels.
Here’s another mistake the makes the ex back process harder than it actually is…
2. Trying to text her back
Texting an ex girlfriend when she refuses to talk to you over the phone or see you in person, is a good way to break the ice and get her to open up to you a little bit.
Yet, it’s not the main platform to use to apologize to her and ask her for another chance.
Apologies need to be done over the phone, or preferably face-to-face where a woman can hear the tone of your voice, or observe your body language and see that you’re being sincere.
As for getting another chance with her, it’s not something you actually need to ask her.
Instead, you need to make her feel so much respect and attraction for you again that giving you another chance is something she wants because it feels good to her.
Getting back with you becomes her desire, her need and her want.
She wants you back for her own reasons, rather than to help you feel good about yourself again,
So, don’t hide behind texts in the hopes that your ex girlfriend will suddenly say something like, “I miss you so much! Let’s do this. I’m ready to be your girl again.”
Some women do respond well to the texting ex back approach, but most don’t.
In most cases, a woman will just get annoyed and bored of receiving endless messages from her ex boyfriend and she will stop responding to him altogether.
Alternatively, she will text back and forth for a while and in the meantime, focus her energy on meeting new guys, having sex and falling in love with someone new.
She will then either stop replying to her ex’s texts or she will text him something like, “Sorry, but I’ve met someone else. Please stop texting me. Thank you for respecting that.”
Her ex is then left feeling devastated that, after all his effort texting back and forth with her, she has gone and had sex with a new guy and moved on.
So, make sure that you don’t try to get your ex girlfriend back purely by texting her.
Texting your ex after breaking up should only ever be used as a stepping stone to getting her to talk to you on the phone and in person.
On a phone call, it’s a lot easier to re-spark her feelings of respect and attraction for you (e.g. by making her smile and laugh) and getting her to agree to see you in person.
When she meets up with you and realizes that you’re no longer the same guy she broke up with (e.g. you’re more confident and emotionally strong now, you have a clear purpose and direction in life, you’re more ballsy and can stand up to her) she won’t be able to stop herself from feeling attracted to you again.
You can then kiss her, have sex with her and get the relationship back together.
That’s what works.
Something else that makes the ex back process more difficult than it actually is…
3. Asking for another chance before reactivating her feelings
If a guy asks his ex girlfriend for another chance before he fully reactivates her feelings of respect and sexual attraction for him, she will usually push him away and say things like, “No, I’m just not interested in you anymore,” or “You need to accept that we’re never going to get back together again and move on.”
He has feelings for her, but she doesn’t have feelings for him.
For a relationship to get back together, there needs to be mutual feelings.
It doesn’t have to be exactly mutual, but she needs to have some feelings for you (e.g. she is 60% into the idea of getting back with you).
If you try to get her back when she’s at 0% or 30%, then you’re going to be making the ex back process more difficult than it needs to be.
She’s going to be saying, “No…I’m not interested. Please respect that and leave me alone.”
So, if you want another chance with your ex, you need to reactivate her feelings for you first.
For example: Some of the things you can do that will reactivate your ex girlfriend’s feelings of respect and attraction for you are:
- Understand her true reasons for breaking up with you (e.g. you were needy and insecure in the relationship, you were too timid and allowed her to dominate you, you stopped making her feel girly and feminine in your) and then quickly begin fixing those things about yourself, so that when you interact with her (e.g. on a phone call, or in person) she will sense that you’ve changed.
- Make her smile and laugh when she interacts with you, rather than getting into arguments, debates or getting dragged into her drama.
- Make her feel feminine and girly in your presence (e.g. she feels like a girl in comparison to how masculine you think, talk, feel), so that she will want to interact with you more, rather than just making her feel like a neutral friend.
- Get to the point where you feel happy and fulfilled in your life with or without her (e.g. focus on your big dreams and goals, have fun going out with friends), so that you’re not emotionally dependent on her to make you feel good about yourself.
You don’t have to be perfect to re-attract your ex girlfriend.
Instead, you just need to be at a different level from where you were when she broke up with you.
Then, when you interact with her again and she sees that you’re a new man, her walls will come down.
Even if initially she tries to stop herself from reconnecting with her positive feelings for you, she won’t be able to resist the new you for long.
All it usually takes is a spark and most women will begin to open back up to communicating and seeing you in person, where you can then guide her through the rest of the rapid ex back process.
So, if you’re still wondering, “Should I give up on my ex girlfriend?” the answer is “No.”
If you want her back, just start showing her that you are now the man she always wanted you to be (e.g. confident, charismatic, emotionally strong, emotionally mature) and get her back into your arms where she belongs.
Don’t tell her that you’ve changed.
An ex girlfriend doesn’t want you to try to explain all the things you’ve learned and changed.
She just wants you to change, interact with her and make her feel differently (i.e. respectful of you, attracted, in love) around you from now on.
If you can do that, you won’t have to give up on her because she will be your girlfriend again and the relationship will be better than it was before.
You can do that.
You are capable of learning, changing and being a better, more attractive man to her from now on.
If you do that, her feelings for you will automatically change.