Seeing your ex in person is a great opportunity for you to make her feel attracted to you again.
You can do this by…
1. Making Her Smile and Laugh, Especially When She is Being Cold or Distant
There’s a good reason that you often hear people saying, “Laughter is the best medicine.”
When you’re laughing and smiling, it’s very difficult to be angry, annoyed or irritated at the same time.
So, when you interact with your ex and you make her smile and laugh, especially if she’s being cold and distant towards you, it’s unlikely that she will be able to remain cold and bitchy towards you for very long.
No matter how determined she is to keep up a cold, unemotional front, all it usually takes is a small smile to crack her defenses and allow her to open herself up to seeing you differently.
For example: If you’re having coffee with your ex and she says something like, “I think this was a mistake. We’re broken up now, so seeing each other like this is a waste of time,” rather than feel upset about it, you can turn it around by making a joke in that moment to calm down the tension between you and her.
You can say something like, “I totally agree. I don’t think we should be seeing each other like this either…”
She will probably feel surprised that you’re agreeing with her and maybe even a little shocked that you’re not begging her to give you a chance.
Then, when you’ve caught her off guard, you can continue by saying in a joking way, “I would much rather see us lying on a beach somewhere tropical, wearing a bikini – well you’d be wearing the bikini of course, not me…I’ll be wearing swimming trunks, looking handsome and sipping on some cocktails. That’s a much better way of seeing each other, don’t you agree?” and then have a laugh with her about that.
It’s highly unlikely that she will be able to stop herself from smiling and laughing, even just a little bit.
When that happens to her, she then can’t stop herself from feeling attracted to you again because her guard is down and she is open to experiencing the new you.
She begins to see you as you are now (e.g. confident, ballsy, masculine), rather than how she used to see you in the past (e.g. unsure of yourself, immature, insecure).
Another way to attract your ex when you see her again is by…
2. Not Being So Serious About Everything
Although your main goal for meeting up with your ex might be to get her back immediately and part of that is to apologize to her for making some mistakes in the relationship, it can’t be your main focus when you’re interacting with her.
Sure, it’s important to talk about your mistakes and apologize, but it’s not good to allow the conversation between you and your ex to be so serious and only focus on those things.
For example: A guy might say to his ex, “I’m so glad that we’re here together and can finally talk. I’ve been wanting to tell you how sorry I am for stuffing up” and go on to talk in detail about what he’s learned about being a man since the break up.
He then might say, “Please consider giving us another chance. I really have learned a hard lesson from this break up and it has completely changed me. I know that I was a jerk to you near the end, but I’ve changed.”
She might then reply by saying something like, “Yes, you were a total jerk. I can’t believe that I let you mess me around like that. How can you even think that I would give you another chance after the way you behaved near the end of our relationship? Do you really believe that saying sorry is actually going to change anything?” and go on and on about all the ways she believes that he stuffed up during the relationship.
That is not the vibe you want to be creating when meeting up with your ex.
If you get into an overly serious conversation when you see her in person, you will actually be missing out on the chance to make her feel happy and attracted to you again.
Then, rather than her laughing, smiling and thinking, “This is fun. I’m really having a good time with him and I don’t want it to end,” being too serious about everything will get her to focus on all the negatives about you and the relationship, which will raise her defenses even more.
So, don’t create that kind of dynamic.
Also, don’t make the mistake of being on your best behavior to hopefully impress her (e.g. being super nice to her), or trying to make her feel guilty for breaking up with you (e.g. acting all sad and depressed to seek pity).
For example: A guy might meet up with his ex and focus on being extra nice and polite around her by not saying or doing anything that might upset her.
He might say to himself, “I just need to be extra nice to her, keep my cool and not react badly when she’s trying to annoy me. Then, she will realize what a great guy I really am and how much I care about her and she will regret breaking up with me. I’ll show her that I can be nice even though she dumped me and broke my heart.”
However, if a woman realizes that he is only being nice to her out of desperation, it will turn her off even more.
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with being nice to a woman, but if you’re only being really nice to her because you’re desperate to get her back, you are actually pushing her further away from you.
Why? Emotional weakness (e.g. insecurity, desperation, low self esteem) is a huge turn off for women.
So, instead of putting on an act and trying to impress your ex, focus on switching her feelings back on by being easy-going and relaxed and making her laugh and feel good to be seeing you in person.
Another way to make her feel attracted to you again is by…
3. Talking to Her as Though You and Her Are Great Friends, While Also Including Some Sexual Flirting
Although you and your ex are broken up, it doesn’t mean that everything between you and her was bad.
Sure you had some bad times, but there were also times when you and her were friends, laughed and had a lot of fun together, right?
So, when you see her in person, rather than tiptoe around her trying not to say or do anything that might upset her, just focus on talking to her like she’s a really good friend who really likes you and is happy to see you.
Of course, she might act like she’s not happy to see you, but don’t buy into that.
If she’s meeting up with you, she wants to see you.
So, don’t fall for her act of being reluctant to interact with you. She wants it.
When talking to her, just keep things light and friendly between you and her, but also remember something very important…
I you want to make her feel sexually attracted to you again, you have to trigger her feelings of sexual attraction and an easy way to do that is with some sexual flirting.
For example: When you see her, you say, “Wow, don’t you look sexy today. Nice…I like it” rather than just acting like a friend and saying, “Oh, you look nice today.”
A lot of guys make the mistake of thinking that flirting with an ex woman is wrong or too forward.
A guy might say, “I can’t do that! What if I flirt with her and she gets angry with me and refuses to see me again? We’re not together, so it’s not proper for me to flirt with her. If she gets angry, then I will have wasted my only chance to get her back. It’s better to just be friends and then hopefully, over time I will grow on her and she will realize that she still loves me and we can then get back together again.”
Yet, it just doesn’t work that way.
Generally speaking, women don’t feel sexually attracted to their nice, neutral guy friends who are too afraid to include sexual flirting when talking to her.
She might like him and enjoy being around him as a neutral friend, but she’s not going to be thinking, “I just wish he would grab me in his arms and kiss me!”
So, when you meet up with your ex, talk to her like she is a good friend of yours, but don’t be neutral and act like Mr. Nice Guy.
Don’t pretend that you don’t find her sexually attractive anymore, or that you’re not interested in getting her back.
If you only pretend that you want to be friends with her, she probably won’t see any reason to get back with you.
Remember: Women want to be in a relationship with a man that they respect, feel sexually attracted to and feel love for.
A woman does not want to be in a romantic, committed relationship with a guy who is just acting like a neutral friend.
So, make sure that you flirt with her when you see her in person.
There’s nothing wrong with flirting with her.
In fact, flirting is one of the best ways to quickly make your ex feel attracted to you again.
Another way to attract her is by…
4. Letting Her See That You Really Have Changed the Things That She Secretly Wanted You to Change
Sometimes in a relationship, a guy might get into the habit of thinking, acting and behaving in ways that are unattractive to his woman (e.g. he becomes insecure, annoying, gets angry often), which then causes her to lose respect and attraction for him over time and eventually leads to her breaking up with him.
If he then wants to get her back, he needs to make sure that when she sees him in person, he shows her (via his actions, thinking and behavior) that he really has changed those things that caused her to break up with him in the first place.
For example: If a woman broke up with a guy because he was too emotionally sensitive and was always turning to her for emotional support and reassurance, he needs to show her that he’s now emotionally strong and mature enough to stand on his own two feet.
If he was too insecure about his value to her and became needy and clingy around her, he needs to show her that even though he wants her back, he doesn’t need her back to feel happy and fulfilled in his life.
Each relationship is different, so it’s up to you to discover the things that your ex wants you to change and then make the correct adjustments to your way of thinking and behavior.
Then, when you see your ex in person, you will be able to make her feel attracted to you again by showing her that you are a different guy now (e.g. you are more confident, mature, assertive, focused).
However, the biggest mistake a guy can make, is by not getting to the point where he fully understands what his ex secretly wants him to change about himself.
Then, when he sees her in person, rather making her feel attracted, she feels turned off because he still doesn’t even understand what she really wants from him.
2 Common Mistakes to Avoid
Even if a man is smart and successful in his career, he will still often have a lot of gaps in his knowledge about what really makes a woman feel attracted to a man.
As a result, he will often make one or both of the following mistakes as he tries to re-attract his ex…
1. Putting in way too much effort to look good because he doesn’t know that a man’s attitude, way of thinking and behavior are the most attractive things to a woman.
When a woman breaks up with a guy and says something like, “I don’t feel attracted to you anymore,” a guy might make the mistake of thinking that what she means is that if he looked better (e.g. wore better clothes, changed his hairstyle, went to the gym and built some muscle or lost some weight), she would then be attracted to him again.
Yet, that’s not how it works.
Although a woman might say, “Oh, you’re looking good. Well done” when she sees him in person, his appearance is not the most important thing that will make her feel attracted to him again.
Essentially, what matters most to a woman is how a guy makes her feel when she’s interacting with him.
It’s based on how he thinks, feels, talks, behaves and acts around her.
For example: Does he make her feel feminine and girly in his presence, or does she feel more like a neutral friend or big sister around him?
Can she look up to him, respect him and feel proud of him (e.g. because he’s confident, masculine and going places in his life), or does she look down on him a little bit and feel embarrassed to be associated with him?
Does he make her feel relaxed and happy, or does he make her feel tense, uncomfortable and depressed?
Does he make her feel rushes of sexual attraction when they talk and interact, or does he always seem to say and do things that turn her off?
Those are some examples of the things that are much more attractive to women than how a man looks on the outside.
Of course, that doesn’t mean you should look like a slob and not bother to be presentable, but your appearance is not as important to a woman as how you make her feel based on your attitude, way of thinking and behavior.
The second common mistake that some guys make when attempting to re-attract an ex is…
2. Trying to impress her by talking about having big goals and wanting to be successful in life, when he doesn’t even really care about that.
Talking about having big goals in life is not the same as actually having big goals and passionately working towards achieving them.
Some guys mistakenly think that a woman will be impressed if he tells her what he’s planning to do with his life sometime in the future.
The reality is that a woman won’t be impressed by a guy who is only saying that he has plans for his life, especially if he’s only saying it because he thinks it will make her feel attracted.
If you want to make your ex feel attracted to you again, you need to be genuinely moving up the levels of life by reaching for your true potential as a man, rather than trying to impress her with vague plans for your future that you probably wouldn’t care about following through on if you got her back.
A woman doesn’t need you to have achieved all your goals in life to feel attracted to you.
She just needs to see that you are striving towards achieving the things that are important to you (i.e. your big goals and dreams in life) and are not hiding from your true potential as a man.
When you believe in yourself enough to go after what you really want in life (i.e. your goals, dreams, as well as your ex), you automatically become more attractive to her and to women in general.
Then, when you see your ex in person and she notices that you’re no longer the same guy she broke up with, all of her old positive feelings of respect, attraction and love that she’s pushed into the background suddenly get woken up.
Without being able to stop herself, she opens herself up to getting back together again and actually wants it to happen.
She is attracted to you again and is curious to see what would happen if you and her kissed, had sex and fell back in love again.