If she was, the only thing that will make her stick with a relationship is if she meets a man who can build on her feelings over time, by being the challenge that she needs him to be to remain interested.
Here are 4 reasons why a woman will be a serial monogamist until she meets the right man:
1. Men just don’t understand her
When a woman feels misunderstood by men, she’s just going to go from relationship to relationship until she can find a man who “gets” her.
For example: A woman is confident, independent and emotionally strong.
She really wants a man who is confident enough to stand up to her and not allow himself to be walked all over by her strong personality.
Yet, guys don’t understand that.
They see that she is confident, independent and emotionally strong and therefore, look at her as being the leader (e.g. he waits for her to decide on things, ask where she’d like to go out on a date, asks for permission to kiss her, seems intimidated by her).
As a result, the spark dies out and she loses interest in pretty much every man she meets or begins dating.
There are many different examples of this (e.g. a woman who just wants casual sex, but guys try to get her to commit to a serious relationship very quickly), but you get the picture.
So, if you suspect that your ex was a serial monogamist, it could be because she has always tried to find a guy who understands her, but most (if not, all) guys don’t.
If you can figure out what was missing in the relationship with her (e.g. She wanted a dominant man, but you were too nice and handed over your power to her. She wanted a guy who was a bit of challenge for her to acquire and keep, but you essentially handed yourself to her on a silver platter and said, “I’m yours for life. Where do I sign up?” She wanted a man who felt as though he was good enough for her, but you seem to lack confidence and doubt yourself around her), you can then quickly change and improve those things about yourself so you are ready to re-attract her.
Then, when you interact with her again and she picks up on the changes in the way you talk, think, behave and respond to her, she will begin to realize that you are the one who got away.
As a result, she will open back up to you and, as long as you now know how to build on a woman’s attraction for you over time, she will stop with her serial monogamy and stick with you.
Another reason why a woman will be a serial monogamist is that…
2. She keeps meeting guys who lack the masculine edge that she is looking for in a guy
The masculinity that most women are looking for is not physical masculinity, but emotional masculinity.
Where a lot of guys go wrong is thinking that if they go to the gym and build some muscles, they will then be the masculine man that women are looking for.
Although there’s nothing wrong with being fit and muscular, a man’s appearance is not the most important thing that will make a woman feel attracted to him in the long run.
Essentially, what matters most to a woman, is how a guy makes her feel when she’s with him.
Her attraction to him is based on how he thinks, feels, talks, behaves and acts around her.
For example: Even though modern women are more independent and may go around saying that they can do anything that a man can, they are still instinctively attracted to and respect a man who takes on the alpha role in a relationship.
Of course, that doesn’t mean she wants a guy who is overly domineering and will try to control her or boss her around.
Instead, it’s pretty simple.
She just wants a man who is emotionally stronger than her, thereby allowing her the opportunity to relax into feeling, thinking, behaving and taking action like a feminine woman around him, rather than feeling like a mother figure to him, a big sister or a helpful friend.
In other words, when she’s with her man, she is free to do all of the things (e.g. be girly, get emotional, be in love, be frivolous) that she can’t ordinarily do around other people (e.g. coworkers, family, some friends) because she likes to project an image of being an emotionally strong, competent, tough woman.
So, when a guy doesn’t have the masculine edge that a woman is looking to be around in a relationship, she will eventually start to feel like she can’t be her true, authentic self when she’s with him.
Due to his lack of emotional masculinity (i.e. he is too sensitive, or he is too neutral and behaves more like a friend or a brother), she is unable to be totally feminine in contrast to his masculine vibe.
So, if nothing changes, she will break up with him and start looking for a man who can make her feel the way she wants to feel when she’s in a relationship.
Her ex man might think of her as being a serial monogamist, but in reality, like most women, she will be trying to find a guy who can give her the kind of attraction experience she really wants in a relationship.
Another reason why a woman will be a serial monogamist is that…
3. Men keep failing her tests of their confidence
A lot of guys don’t know this, but most women want a man who believes in himself, no matter what she says or does to try to make him feel insecure.
Of course, women don’t go around telling men that, but it’s what they really want.
So, to avoid getting stuck in a relationship with a guy who is insecure and self-doubting, a woman will just test him to see if he has what she needs in a man.
If a woman is attractive, she won’t want to put up with it, but if a woman is unattractive, she won’t be happy with it, but will usually put up with it for a lot longer than an attractive woman.
It really depends on the woman, but at the end of the day, a woman is always more attracted to a man who doesn’t buckle under her pressure (i.e. a man who can remain confident in himself, no matter what she says or does to try to make him feel insecure).
Here’s a classic example…
A woman will get a man to fall in love with her (i.e. by being very sweet, nice, loving, friendly, girly) and then suddenly begin pull back her interest to test how he will react.
Naturally, in most cases, the man will then chase her and try to impress her to be able to keep her in a relationship (e.g. he will become extra nice and sweet to her, possibly buy her an expensive gift, send her flowers, sweet texts or and romantic cards or messages).
She might then test him even further by saying that she needs time apart, needs space for a while, isn’t sure if she wants a relationship or worse, wants to break up.
If he then becomes desperate (e.g. chases after her and begs and pleads with her for another chance, offers to change whatever she wants him to, asks her to tell him what to do to make her happy) she will then want to go through with the break up because he’s clearly a guy who doesn’t believe in his value to her.
Why is that important to her?
If an attractive woman gets into a relationship with a guy who secretly doesn’t feel like he’s good enough for her, he will almost certainly become clingy, needy and controlling later on in the relationship.
If she has had experience with relationships before, she will know that and will want to avoid it like the plague.
She will know that, if a guy is secretly desperate and has no idea how to attract women by choice (i.e. he relies purely on getting lucky), then he is probably going to desperately chase her, pressure her and try to convince her to give him another chance if she attempts to break up with him.
As mentioned earlier, if a woman is unattractive, then she will usually put up with being with a guy who is hopeless at attracting women, because it will make her feel safe in his commitment to her based on his need for her.
However, even an unattractive woman won’t be able to continue feeling attracted to a guy who doesn’t believe in himself and his value to her.
At the end of the day, a woman just wants to be with a man who can remain confident no matter what she says or does to try to make him feel insecure.
Women feel attracted to that on an instinctive level because it makes them feel like he is the kind of man who could protect them.
He is the sort of man who won’t buckle under pressure in life and will instead, stand up strong, take on challenges and overcome them.
This allows a woman to feel like a woman when in a relationship.
She can be his girl, rather than feeling like she needs to be a bit of a mother figure for him and protect him.
When a man can offer her that type of attraction experience in a relationship, she will naturally stop being a serial monogamist and happily take on the role of being a one-man-woman for the rest of her life.
After all, pretty much every woman on the planet just wants to be in love with a man who understands her and is able to give her the kind of attraction experience she really wants.
You might feel as though your ex is different (pretty much every guy does), but she’s probably not.
She’s probably just a normal woman who is trying to find a man who gets her.
You can be that man, but you have to be willing to change your approach to attraction, rather than trying to offer her the same old attraction experience and expecting her to be excited about that.
Another reason why a woman will be a serial monogamist is that…
4. The men she meets don’t grow with her, so she leaves them behind
In some cases, a woman simply outgrows her men by maturing faster than them.
Alternatively, she wants to take the relationship to a new level emotionally, but the guy can’t handle it (e.g. settle down together, buy a house, get married, start a family).
A woman won’t immediately break up with a guy for that reason, but it will start to eat away at her respect and attraction for him over time.
If she still feels attracted to him, she might think, “Maybe he just needs a bit more time to start wanting the same things in life as me. He’s a great guy, so I’ll give him a chance.”
Yet, if he doesn’t change or isn’t willing to change over the following months or years, she will eventually break up with him and move on to another relationship in the hopes that it works out with the next guy.
3 Mistakes That Some Guys Make With an Ex Who is a Serial Monogamist
Regardless of whether or not your ex is a serial monogamist, if you want her back, you have to make some adjustments to your behavior and approach, so you can then successfully seduce her back into a relationship with you.
To ensure that you succeed at getting her back and keeping her, I recommend that you avoid the following mistakes…
1. Thinking that her serial monogamy is permanent
A woman can experience multiple monogamous relationships in a row, but that doesn’t mean she will never settle down with one guy for life.
In fact, a woman who is a serial monogamist will almost always be looking for a guy who will finally be the guy that she can stick with.
You can be that guy.
When you understand what really made her break up with you and then make some attractive adjustments and improvements to yourself, she will naturally start to question whether or not she made the right decision to break up with you.
She may then start thinking things such as, “Could he actually be the one for me after all? Maybe I should give him another chance. Maybe I made a mistake breaking up with him. Maybe we are supposed to be together. He’s the only one who gets me. I can’t lose him.”
She then opens back up to you and you can then build on her feelings and get her back into a happy, long-lasting monogamous relationship with you.
On the other hand, if you make the mistake of assuming that her serial monogamy is a glitch in her personality and that she’ll never change and settle down with one guy, you may end up losing your ideal woman forever.
So, if you want her back, don’t convince yourself that she is a serial monogamist who can’t stick with one guy.
Another mistake to avoid is…
2. Not identifying the true reasons why she really broke up with you and then fixing those things about yourself before attempting to get her back
Sometimes, a guy will say, “I can’t help it that we broke up. My ex is a serial monogamist and she just gets into relationships and breaks up with guys when she’s had enough. There’s nothing I can do to change that. It’s just how she is. She can’t stick with one guy” because he simply doesn’t know what really caused her to break up with him, or how he can change that about himself and re-attract her.
Here’s the thing…
If you want to get your ex back into a permanent relationship, you first have to identify her real, hidden, secret reasons for breaking up with you.
Then, you need to make some adjustments to how you talk to her and behave around her, so she can see that you understand her now.
Finally, you are the man who gets her.
You get it, without her having to explain it to you.
So, if you’re unclear about why your ex broke up with you, here are some questions for you…
- Did you have big goals and a life purpose that you were actively working towards achieving, or did she feel like you were drifting through life and depending on her to lead the way for the both of you (e.g. sitting at home watching TV, playing video games while she focused on her career or goals, just wanting to spend all your free time with her, giving up on your goals and ambitions because you got yourself a girl)?
- Were you confident and emotionally mature in the relationship, or did you become insecure, clingy, controlling or jealous?
- Could she depend on you to be the more emotionally dominant one (i.e. be the man), or did you allow her to dominate you with her assertive personality?
- Were you emotionally masculine in a way that made her feel girly and feminine in your presence, or were you too emotionally sensitive to the point where she felt more masculine than you?
- Did you remain confident when she tried to make you feel insecure about yourself, or did you crumble under the pressure she was placing on you (e.g. teasing you about your appearance, saying you weren’t man enough, pointing out your flaws)?
By understanding what caused your ex to lose touch with her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you, it then becomes easier for you to make the right adjustments to show her that you are the only man who truly gets her and is able to give her the kind of attraction experience that other guys simply cannot.
On the other hand, if you don’t truly understand what you need to change, then when you interact with her, you will probably keep making the same old mistakes in your communication style (e.g. being insecure, giving her too much power, being emotionally cagey or on the opposite end of the scale, emotionally needy), which will turn her off.
Additionally, you might end up offering to fix the wrong things about yourself (e.g. telling her that you will treat her better, when what she really wants is for you to man up and stop looking at her as the leader of the relationship).
If that happens, she will just continue her journey of looking for her ideal man.
So, if you want her back, make sure that you honestly understand what really caused her to feel turned off and fall out of love with you.
Another mistake to avoid is…
3. Giving up on getting her back because your initial attempts failed
Sometimes a guy will try to convince his ex to give him another chance in ways that don’t work very well, if at all (e.g. begging and pleading, pouring his heart out to her, cutting off contact and waiting).
A guy will hope that his ex woman will realize how much he cares for her because he’s willing to do whatever she wants to get her back, which will then cause her to give up her serial monogamist ways and settle down with him.
Yet, rather than changing her mind about the break up, this type of behavior turns a woman off because it makes the guy look desperate.
Additionally, if she has done the same thing to other guys in the past, those guys almost certainly reacted in the same way (i.e. begging, pleading, promising the world to her, being willing to do whatever she wants to hopefully get another chance with her).
Unfortunately, most guys are so shocked to be getting dumped by the woman they love that they end up behaving completely out of character (e.g. a normally confident, cool guy ends up crying to his woman and pleading with her for another chance).
So, when a guy has tried everything he can think of to get his ex woman back, he might then concede defeat and think, “I guess that’s it then. It’s over. I have no chance with her anymore. After all, she’s probably just a serial monogamist and is never going to settle down and be happy with anyone. So, I need to accept that it’s over between us.”
He then gives up on the idea of getting her back and ends up feeling depressed, sad and frustrated about it for months or even years after the break up.
Here’s the thing…
Although things like begging, pleading, ignoring her or telling her how much you love her doesn’t change a woman’s mind about breaking up, there is something else that does change a woman’s mind.
What is that?
Making her feel a resounding, renewed sense of respect, sexual attraction and love for the new and improved you.
That’s what works.
Getting an ex woman back (especially one who has broken up a number of relationships in the past) has to be about how you make her feel when she’s with you (e.g. attracted, respectful, excited, turned on, in love).
It can’t be about you trying to convince her to give you another chance because of how much you want it, how much you love her, how much you care and how sincere you are to do better this time.
It has to be about making her feel a renewed sense of respect, attraction and love for the new you.
So, here’s what you need to do…
Get her on a phone call or to a meet up with you, where you can then make her feel respect, attraction and love for you by showing her that you’re now the man she always wanted you to be.
No matter how difficult or distant she might act initially when you interact with her in person, if you can maintain your confidence and focus on making her laugh, smile and feel good to be interacting with you, she will naturally begin to open back up to you.
When she realizes that your confidence is now bulletproof, she will see that you are the real deal.
As a result, her defenses will come down further and she will start to feel excited about getting to be your girl once again.