4 possible meanings for the kiss on the cheek from your ex:
1. She’s trying to show you that her heart is still open to you
Sometimes, a woman will continue to have feelings for her ex after a break up, even though she won’t openly admit it to him.
For example: She might think to herself, “I know that we’re not together anymore, but I do miss how good it felt to be in his arms. Yes, he stuffed up (e.g. because he was too insecure and needy, he was too nice and allowed me to walk all over him), but he wasn’t all bad. There are many great things about him that I loved (e.g. his drive and determination, his ability to make me laugh). If he changed the things that were turning me off, I would be interested in getting back together again.”
She won’t tell him that though because she doesn’t want to have to explain all of her subtle, personal needs and wants in terms of attraction (e.g. she wants him to be more ballsy, to dominate her more in the bedroom, to make her feel more girly in comparison to his masculinity).
It’s embarrassing for a woman to admit that and in many cases, a woman fears that a guy will take it the wrong way (e.g. start becoming very aggressive and domineering, when all she really wants is him to be a bit more ballsy, while still being a good guy).
So, she will just keep quite and hope that he realizes what she needs from him, changes and gets her back.
Most guys don’t realize what their ex woman really needs from them in terms of attraction, so they fail to get her back.
To properly re-attract your ex, you have to be offering her the kind of attraction experience she really wants, which is almost always different to what you think it is.
If she was getting the attraction experience she really wanted, she most likely wouldn’t have broken up with you.
That’s to say your ex doesn’t have any feelings for you anymore though.
In many cases where a woman still kisses her ex on the cheek, she’s trying to show him that her heart is still open and she’s hoping that he can re-attract her.
So, how can you re-attract her?
Some of the things that you can do to reactivate your ex’s feelings of attraction are:
- Understand her real reasons for breaking up with you (e.g. Did you take her love for granted and assume that she would stay with your forever regardless of how you behaved? Did you stop believing in your attractiveness to her and became needy and clingy as a result? Did you break her trust by lying or regularly losing control of your emotions and scaring her? Did you make her feel feminine and girly in comparison to your masculinity, or did you make her feel more like a neutral friend? Did you remain confident in the relationship, or did you become too emotionally sensitive?)
- Make some changes or adjustments to yourself based on the real reasons why she broke up with you.
- Interact with her (over the phone and especially in person) so she can see for herself that, not only have you understood her reasons for breaking up with you, but you have also improved and become a better man as a result.
When she can see for herself that you really have changed and are no longer the same guy she broke up with, she will naturally feel respect for you because you put in the effort to improve and succeeded at it.
When she respects you, she will also feel sexually attracted to you and with those two emotions, reconnecting with the love in her heart becomes easy.
You can then guide her back into a relationship with you and enjoy the great times ahead together for you as a couple.
So, make sure that you are ready to properly re-attract her and reactivate her feelings when you interact with her.
Don’t just assume that because she kisses you on the cheek when she sees you, it means that she will one day say, “I want you back. Let’s start again.”
That’s not how most women work.
A woman wants to see that you are man enough to take responsibility for the ex back process and get her back, rather than waiting around for her to making it easy for you.
Some guys might think, “Why are women like that? Why don’t they just say what they want, rather than play all these silly games?”
The main reason why is because women are instinctively attracted to men who remain confident and go after what they want in life (including their ex if they still love her) regardless of how challenging it may be.
This is a primal, instinctive type of attraction that is directly linked to a man’s perceived ability to survive, thrive and prosper under pressure.
It’s something that women feel and react to instinctively, rather than it being a case of women just wanting to be a pain in the butt.
Women simply react to their instincts, so if a guy consistently triggers her instincts in a positive way, she feels attracted to him and wants to be with him.
So, it’s important that you remain confident and believe in yourself, no matter how distant your ex is being or what she is saying to try to make you feel insecure.
You have to believe in yourself.
Don’t wait for her to spell it out for you (e.g. “Okay, I want you back now. Let’s get into a relationship”) before you make a move and make it happen.
Just focus on sparking her sexual and romantic feelings for you whenever you interact with her and confidently guide her back into a relationship with you again.
Every day, all over the world, guys are able to get their ex woman back in that way and you can do it too.
Believe in yourself.
Get her back.
Another reason why your ex might kiss you on the cheek is that…
2. She’s just trying to keep you hoping, while she secretly moves on behind your back
There are many reasons why a woman might want to give her ex false hope, while she secretly focuses on finding a replacement guy behind his back.
If he broke up with her initially and she accepted him back, only to then break up with him again, she might want to make him regret breaking up with her by moving on before he does.
In other words, it’s payback for how he made her feel and it’s also emotional protection for her so she feels better about the break up and he is in pain as he sees her move on.
Alternatively, a woman might feel insecure about her attractiveness and want to make sure that she finds herself another guy before she fully breaks off with her ex.
So, she will keep him around and make him feel as though she is still interested (e.g. by kissing him on the cheek when they meet up), but she will be secretly trying to find a replacement guy, so she can move on before he does.
In a case like that, it’s not payback.
It’s just about emotional protection, so she can more easily move on from the break up and not experience the kind of emotional pain that the person who gets dumped usually feels.
Finally, another reason why a woman will sometimes string her ex along, is because she wants to get revenge on him for the pain he caused her in the relationship.
He treated her badly, took her for granted and never really made her feel secure in his commitment for him.
So, after going through that for many months or years, she now wants to get some revenge.
She will kiss him on the cheek when she meets him and let him feel as though he has a chance with her, but she will never commit to the idea of giving him another chance.
He will try hard to impress her and basically do whatever she wants to get another chance with her, but she will continue to give him mixed messages and never commit to giving him another chance.
Then, when she has secured a replacement guy, she can say, “There’s something I need to tell you. I’ve met someone else and I’m really happy now. So, I ask that you please respect that. It’s over between us. I wish you all the best” and watch as his heart breaks into a million pieces.
It feels good for one person and horrible for the other.
Yet, that’s what happens to a guy when he doesn’t know how to re-attract his ex and make her want him back so badly that she stops the games and just gives him another chance.
So, be careful not to believe that your ex is giving you another chance, simply because she gives you a kiss on the cheek when you meet up.
It might simply be a ploy from her to keep you around long enough to finally get revenge on you for how you made her feel.
If you think that your ex might be kissing you on the cheek to keep you hoping, I recommend that you make her feel very attracted to you again, but don’t show her that you’re trying hard to get her back.
Stop chasing and start making her feel attracted.
When she is attracted and notices that you’re not chasing her and seem to be moving on with your life, she will feel the pain of losing you and want to give you another chance to stop the pain.
How can you make her feel attracted to you again?
The best way to do it is to interact with her over the phone and in person, so she can feel attracted to the new and improved you (e.g. you’re so much more confident now, you make her feel girly and feminine in comparison to the more masculine way that you talk, feel, behave and take action).
You can also show her that you believe in your attractiveness and value to her by maintaining your confidence around her, especially when she tries to make you feel insecure by talking about another guy or being cold, distant or even rude.
Then, when she is feeling attracted again and possibly saying things like, “You’ve really changed. I never thought I’d feel this way about you again, but I do. I really enjoy hanging out together now,” go ahead and give her 3 to 7 days of space.
She will be feeling attracted and wanting you, but will also notice that you’re not chasing her.
This allows her to really start to miss you and begin to wonder about the possibility of losing you to another girl.
In most cases, a woman will text or call the guy during the 3 to 7 days to say hello because she won’t be able to deal with the pain or the fear of losing him.
Another reason why your ex kisses you on the cheek when she sees you might be because…
3. She’s just using what she thinks is good social etiquette in a situation like that
In a case where a woman has little or no experience with relationships and break ups, she might simply be confused about what the right way to interact with an ex is.
So, to be nice, she gives you a kiss on the cheek when you and her meet up.
Alternatively, she might be worried that you will get angry or start pressuring her to get back with you if she seems distant, so she will try to make you feel okay by greeting you with a kiss on the cheek.
In her eyes, she’s trying to ease the tension and make it easier for you and her to interact with each other now that you’ve broken up.
Of course, if you still have feelings for her and really want her back, it’s only natural that her kissing you in the cheek might make you believe there’s more behind it than just saying hello in a polite way.
The good news is that there can be much more behind that kiss than meets the eye.
As mentioned earlier in this article, she might be doing it as a way of showing you that her heart is still open to you and she’s hoping that you re-attract her and get her back.
So, it’s always better to think of the kiss in the positive way.
As a man, you should always choose to be confident around a woman, rather than doubt yourself because women are naturally attracted to confidence in men.
Of course, it’s also important to understand the other possible meanings for the kiss (e.g. she’s just doing it to be nice, she thinks that it’s the right etiquette to use with an ex), so you are being realistic and not missing potential signs from her that she’s no longer interested.
If she isn’t interested, don’t worry.
You can make her interested.
A woman’s attraction for a man is fluid and changeable.
In other words, if you are talking and behaving in ways that make a woman feel naturally attracted to a guy (e.g. you’re being confident, charismatic, masculine), then your ex is going to feel attracted to you and as a result, is going to start to feel interested in being with you again.
However, if you are talking and behaving in ways that make a woman feel turned off (e.g. you’re being insecure, awkward, emotionally sensitive), then she isn’t going to feel attracted and as a result, isn’t going to be interested in getting into a relationship with you again.
So from now on, I recommend that you use every interaction that you have with her to spark her feelings for you and make her feel properly attracted again.
Then, when she kisses you on the cheek, she will secretly be thinking something like, “I wish he’d take me in his arms and kiss me for real. I want him back. I hope he makes a move and kisses me for real. Maybe we can even have sex today. Let’s see what happens.”
She will then wait for you to have the confidence to make a move and get her back.
A final reason why your ex might kiss you on the cheek when she sees you is…
4. It’s her way of saying that she only sees you as a friend now
Women aren’t all the same, so there’s not a guaranteed set list of things that a woman will do to show her ex boyfriend that she wants him back, or doesn’t want him back.
For example: You and your ex might have had a passionate sexual relationship and have really enjoyed kissing and making out with each other for long periods of time.
Now that she only gives you a quick kiss on the cheek, it’s her way of showing you that she’s no longer going to be passionate or sexual around you anymore.
However, if you want her back, you don’t have to just accept that and move on without her.
You can re-attract her and make her want more than just giving you a kiss on the cheek.
If she currently sees your relationship as just a friendship, then use that to your advantage.
Use the friendship with your ex as a way of staying in touch with her and changing how she feels about you by re-attracting her again.
For example: The next time your ex kisses you on the cheek in a friendly way, rather than just accept it and be on your best behavior around her, use it as an opportunity to attract her by using humor to make her laugh.
So, when she kisses you on the cheek, you can smile, pause for a moment and jokingly say, “Oh, so I get a kiss on the cheek do I? What’s next? Are you going to play footsies with me under the table, or tell me that you have sore shoulders and need a massage?”
In other words, you’re playfully suggesting that she’s being sexually forward and is trying to make moves on you and get you back.
Women love that kind of humor and will almost always get in on it and start joking around with you.
For example: She might say, “No, it’was just a friendly kiss on the cheek” and you can then playfully and suspiciously say, “Ohhh, okay then. I believe you. Just keep your feet away from under the table. No footsies” and have a laugh with her.
When you’re making her feel attracted to you again (e.g. by being confident, using humor, being charismatic), she will stop looking at you as a friend, or as her ex that she doesn’t have any feelings for anymore.
Her feelings will come flooding back and she will know that she wants more than just to give you a kiss in the cheek.
She will want a relationship with you again.
That’s what you want, right?
If so, then make sure to use any interaction that you have with her from now on to make her feel respect, sexual attraction and love for you again.
If you do that, it won’t just be a kiss on the cheek that she gives you.