When your ex unfriends you on Facebook, it’s not the end of the road.
You can actually use it to your advantage to make her miss you and want you back.
How? Follow these 6 steps:
1. Change your post settings to public, so she can see whatever you post even though she’s not a Facebook friend
One of the best ways to re-attract your ex is by enjoying a fun life without her and letting her see it via social media.
If she has unfriended you, just change your post settings from ‘friends’ to ‘public’ for everything that you post from now on.
Believe it or not, even though she is the one who unfriended you, she is still going to be curious about what you’re up to.
If she is checking social media and thinks of you, she will try to stop by your profile to see if there’s anything new.
In most cases, a woman just wants to check to see if her ex guy is sad, lonely and lost without her.
If she sees that there’s nothing going on in his life, she can feel good about herself and not have to worry about him moving on and being happy again before she is.
If she checks his profile and sees that he is confident, happy and enjoying fun times with other people, then things change.
She starts to feel respect and attraction for him based on the fact that he has been emotionally strong enough to get on with life without her.
As a result, she starts to miss him and imagine what it would be like if they were back together.
So, make sure that whatever you post on social media from now on shows you being confident, emotionally strong and getting on with your life in a positive way.
Not all guys know what you’re learning right now.
So, when a guy’s ex woman unfriends him on Facebook, he might make the mistake of sending her an emotional message like, “Why have you unfriended me? What did I do?! Is this what our relationship has come to? Are you just going to delete me from your life? Did I even mean anything to you?”
He might start talking about his feelings for her and hoping that she takes pity on him.
Alternatively, he might get angry at her and start calling her all sorts of names or accusing her of being disloyal, a user and so on.
Yet, as you would understand, that’s not an effective approach to take to get a woman back.
Rather than making her feel good about refriending him, she is more likely to think, “I can’t believe how he’s behaving now. I mean, I felt a bit guilty for unfriending him, but now that I’ve seen this side of him I’m glad that I did it. I’m better off cutting him out of my life completely from now on. I probably should also block his number on my phone so he can’t call or text me. Maybe need to mark his e-mail as spam too. I’m done with him.”
Important: Whatever you say and do from now on will either make your ex feel respect and attraction for you, or turn her off the idea of being with you even more.
So, be careful about what you say and do from now on.
Many guys ruin their chances of getting a woman back by losing control of their emotions (e.g. sulking, getting angry, seeking pity, being jealous or controlling, verbally attacking her, crying or being wimpy).
You’ve got to maintain control of your emotions and be a man that she can naturally feel respect, attraction and love for.
If you’re no longer able to interact with her on a phone call or in person, make sure that you…
2. Post up photos of you having fun with new people
When your ex decides to check up on you (e.g. because she’s bored, lonely or curious) it’s important that you are portraying an attractive image for her on social media.
For example: Imagine the impression that a woman will have if her ex only posts photos of him alone, or looking sad or bored.
Rather than think, “Maybe I should take him back. He’s clearly having such a difficult time without me, so he needs me. I feel so flattered to see that he can’t get on with his life now that we’re broken up. I just love knowing that I’m his source of confidence and happiness. He needs me. He’s a needy guy. I love needy guys! I have to take him back” and then quickly re-friending him on Facebook out of pity, she will likely be thinking, “He’s so unattractive now that he can’t feel confident without me around. I want a man who is confident, happy and forward moving in life no matter what happens around him. He’s just letting his life pass him by now as he sits around feeling sorry for himself. I’m glad that we’re not together anymore because being with him would have dragged me down too. I made the right choice. I’ve got to keep moving on without him.”
Now compare that to what will be going through your ex’s mind when she sees photos of you and other people (e.g. new friends or acquaintances) doing fun things together like:
- Participating in outdoor events (e.g. hiking, group exercise in park, white water rafting, abseiling).
- Going to parties (e.g. a beach party, a fancy dress party, a street party, BBQ at someone’s house).
- Going to interesting events (e.g. a music festival, a carnival, a Formula 1 Grand Prix in a different country).
- Doing fun activities with other people (e.g. salsa dancing).
Most guys worry that their ex woman will be angry and seek revenge by quickly hooking up with other guys.
Yet, that’s not how a woman’s attraction works.
Women are naturally attracted to confident guys who are liked by other people.
On the flipside, women are naturally turned off by insecure, self-doubting guys who don’t feel worthy of being around happy people who are enjoying their life.
Sometimes it’s not just worthiness though.
Sometimes a guy feels worthy, but he’s so upset about the break up that he can’t be bothered dealing with other people.
…and that’s the problem.
Women aren’t attracted to guys who are emotionally dependent on them.
If a guy can’t back on his own two feet after a break up, a woman is going to feel turned off by his emotional dependence on her and the relationship.
What a woman wants is a guy who is confident, happy and forward moving in life, with or without her support or reassurance.
A woman doesn’t want to be a guy’s source of confidence, happiness, self-esteem, worthiness or purpose in life.
This is why it’s so important to show your ex that you’re not lonely, lost and depressed without her.
You’ve got to rise up to the occasion and be more emotionally strong than you’ve ever been before.
This break up is a one, big test for you.
You’re either going to pass it and get her back, or you’re going to fail it and lose her.
It’s up to you.
If you want to show her that you’ve changed and make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you via social media, you’ve got to start posting up photos of you having fun with other people.
When she sees that, she will naturally start to miss you and in most ex back cases that I’ve worked on, the woman will then refriend her ex.
So make sure you ditch the sad, lonely photos right away and replace them with some fun alternatives.
BTW: Many guys don’t post sad, lonely photos of themselves.
Instead, they post photos of their pets, car, landscapes and places they visit.
Those are lonely photos too.
If your ex assumes that you’re hurting from the break up and aren’t having fun with other people, she will look at photos like that as meaning that you’re all on your own and feeling sad, lonely and lost without her.
It doesn’t matter if you post a happy photo of your pet, or post a photo of you learning how to fly a plane on your own.
None of that stuff makes a woman think, “Wow, he’s so confident now. He’s having fun with other people. Maybe there are women around who will feel attracted to him now. I have to get him back.”
The only thing that works is posting up photos of you having fun with other people.
3. Change your profile photo to a confident, happy photo of yourself
You’ve probably heard of the expression that, “A picture is worth a thousand words.”
In terms of attracting an ex back, “a picture is worth a thousand words” simply means that you can show her the new you without having to write to her about it and explain.
On that note, I don’t recommend that you write to your ex and tell her about all the things you’ve changed, how you feel about her and so on.
That doesn’t work.
A woman doesn’t want to have to read a long letter, e-mail or message from her ex guy that she is no longer attracted to.
If she receives something like that and hasn’t seen photos of him having fun with other people, she will just assume that he’s hurting, lost, sad and lonely without her.
So, don’t try the old “love letter to an ex girlfriend” thing.
It doesn’t work.
Remember: If she’s unfriended you on Facebook, it’s most likely because she doesn’t think very highly of you at the moment.
She has probably lost most or all of her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you.
So, if she notices that you still have the same Facebook profile photo that hasn’t changed since before she broke up with you, she is going to look at you as still being the same.
Rather than think, “Wow. He must be so busy enjoying life without me that he hasn’t even had time to change his profile photo,” she’s more likely to think, “That’s so typical of him. He’s still stuck at the same level he was at when we broke up. Nothing about him ever changes. As much as I hate to admit it, I’m much better off without him. His life is going nowhere.”
So, make sure that you update your profile photo as well.
The more confident and happy you appear in your profile photo, the more attractive you become in her eyes.
While you’re at it…
4. Change your cover photo to a photo of you having great fun with other people
So many guys make the mistake of having a cover photo of a landscape, a car, a game they like, a pet and so on.
That doesn’t work to re-attract and ex woman.
You’ve got to show her that you’re having fun with other people.
If you do, she is much more likely to contact you, refriend you or at least accept your friend request.
In some cases that I’ve seen, a woman will use the change of her ex’s cover photo as an excuse to contact him.
For example: She might message you and say something like, “Hey, how are you doing? I just saw your new cover photo – it’s really nice. You look like you’re having so much fun. So, what have you been up to? How’s things?”
To spark her feelings of respect and attraction for you again, you just need to be confident, easy going and talk to her in a friendly way, without trying to get her back right away.
For example: You can respond with something along the lines of, “Who is this? Hehe. Just kidding, it’s great to hear from you. Yes, I am having lots of fun these days. I can’t believe how busy things have been for me lately. I’ve met some great new people and we’re doing a lot of cool stuff together. How about you? How have you been?”
If she wants you back, she will feel some emotional pain to hear that you’re having fun without her and seem fine.
She might then decide to refriend you as a way of opening the lines of communication between you and hopefully signaling to you that she wants you back.
However, if she doesn’t refriend you right away (e.g. because she doesn’t want to come across as the jealous ex), you can take the initiative and…
5. Contact her via a Facebook message to refriend you, or ask her on a phone call
Although messaging your ex is the quickest way to ask her to refriend you, it’s also a lot easier for her to ignore you or play hard to get.
So, if it’s possible, I recommend that you get her on a phone call with you instead.
Start the call off in a positive, confident way and focus on getting her smiling, laughing and feeling good while talking to you.
When you do that, she will naturally feel some respect and attraction for you and will be more willing to re-add you as a friend.
By the way…
Most guys try to skip all of this and try to get their ex woman back via text.
Yet, since she has no evidence that he has changed, she either ignores his texts or replies to some and then eventually blocks his number.
This is why it’s essential that you follow the steps above before you try to get her back for real.
When she can see for herself that you really have changed, she will naturally open up to refriending you, talking to you on the phone again and meeting up with you in person.
6. Get her to meet up with you in person to say hello as friends. Then, re-attract her at the meet up
Once you’ve gotten your ex to refriend you, go ahead and ask her to meet up with you.
This is always best done over the phone, because it’s easier for you to attract her by being confident and making her laugh, smile and feel good to be talking to you again.
However, if you try to call and she doesn’t answer, don’t worry.
A few minutes later, just send her this message: “Hey Liz, how about we meet up sometime this week for a quick cup of coffee and to say hello as friends?”
If she is hesitant, you can say, “Look, it’s not big deal. It’s just a quick catch up. However, if it makes you feel better, think of it as a chance for us to say goodbye and not contact each other again, if that’s what you really want. So, how about it? I’m busy on Tuesday and Wednesday, but free to catch up on Monday and Thursday. Which day suits you best?”
If she agrees, you can then arrange to meet up with her at a convenient place and time.
When she meets up with you and sees that you really have changed, not only will she not want to say goodbye forever, but she will also be willing to refriend you if she hasn’t already.
Remember: Just because your ex unfriended you on Facebook, it doesn’t mean that all hope is lost.
You can re-attract her via social media and guide her through the rest of the ex back process.