In this post, I’m going to provide 4 different examples of what to say to your ex to get her back.
Firstly, I want to point out that these examples are to be said on a phone call or in person, not via text. Anything you that will ever say to your ex via text will always be less effective than if you were to say it on the phone or in person.
If she currently isn’t answering your calls, you need to text her to get her on a phone call with you only. The only goal of a text to an ex should be to get her on a phone call, so you can then arrange to meet her in person.
Why? On the phone call or in person, she will be able to feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you when she notices that you are confident and in an emotionally strong place.
On a phone call or in person, you will also be able to get her laughing, smiling and feeling good when talking to you, but via text – there is no guarantee that you will get that reaction.
Text is usually the worst method of getting an ex back, because if your ex currently has a negative perception of you, she will read your text messages through a filter of that negative perception.
For example: If a woman broke up with a guy because he was insecure, she is going to look at his texts as coming from a place of insecurity.
On the other hand, if the guy was to get her on a phone call or talk to her in person and he is a new and improved version of himself, her perception of him will become more positive and her protective guard will go down.
What to Say to Your Ex Girlfriend, Fiance or Wife to Get Her Back
Here are 4 different examples of things that a guy can say to his ex girlfriend, fiancé or wife to begin the process of getting her back…
1. If she has broken up with you because you weren’t enough of a man for her (e.g. insecure, needy, clingy, not much purpose in life, etc).
On a phone call or in person, what you need to say to her is something along the lines of, “Hey look – I just wanted to point out that I now understand why you broke up with me and I accept that. I understand that I wasn’t enough of a man for you and I look back on that now and I laugh at how silly I was being, but I also feel bad for what I put you through. So, I just want to take this opportunity to apologize for that. I’m not expecting us to get back together or anything like that, but I just wanted to be able to give you that apology and that I understand why you felt it was right to break up with me.”
After giving her that kind of apology, the next step is always to try to get her to meet up with you in person, where you can then make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.
If you don’t know how to ask for the meet up, or are unsure what to say or how to behave at the meet up to get her to agree to give the relationship another chance, I provide all that advice in my program, Get Your Ex Back: Super System
2. If she has broken up with you because you cheated.
Cheating hurts, especially when the person who was cheated on was fully devoted and committed to the relationship.
Not all cheating break ups can be recovered, but based on the 100s of cases that I’ve dealt with over the years (20% of those being cheating break ups where the guy cheated on his woman), about 80% of these situations can be recovered and the woman will agree to give the relationship another chance.
So, what you need to say to her on a phone call or in person, is something along the lines of, “Look – it’s up to you whether you feel as though you could ever forgive me. I know that we’re broken up now and that you probably don’t ever want to forgive me or trust me or anything like that…I’m not asking for that from you, but what I do want to tell you is that what I did to you was a silly mistake based on my immaturity. I understand that it would have hurt you…you probably don’t care much now, but I just want you to know that the other woman (or women) didn’t mean anything to me emotionally. It was just me being silly and immature and not yet being grown up enough to handle a committed, adult relationship. I don’t expect you to want to get back together with me, but I just want to be able to let you know that I am sorry for what I did.”
After that, you need to get her to meet up with you and make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you at the meet up.
If you want to know exactly how to get her to meet up with you and then reattract her at the meet up, check out my program, Get Your Ex Back: Super System
3. If she has broken up with you because you wouldn’t commit.
In most cases, this happens when a guy gets into a relationship with a woman that he’s not fully attracted to (e.g. she initially pursued him, she grew on him over time, etc).
Although he might stay with the woman for a year or many years, he won’t ever feel as though he wants to fully commit to her. Then, when she pulls the plug by breaking up with him, he realizes that she was more than good enough for him and he wants to get her back, rather than having to start from scratch with a new woman.
Yet, if he gets in contact with her, apologizes and ask for another chance, she won’t always be willing to give it, especially if she has other guys interested in her.
Often, when I deal with ex back cases where a guy hasn’t committed to a woman, she has given him several chances in the past to commit (e.g. move in together, get engaged, start a family, etc), but he never really changed.
So, in cases like this, what a guy needs to say to get her back is something along the lines of, “I don’t expect us to get back together at all because I clearly did the wrong thing by you when we were in a relationship. You are almost certainly over me, hate my guts and never want to see the likes of me again, but I do want to be able to take this opportunity to tell you something that you deserve to hear. I want to tell you that I understand that I wasn’t being mature in my approach to the relationship and back then, I wasn’t fully ready for a grown up relationship and was behaving like a silly young man. Of course, I have now grown up and am no longer like that, but I know that from your perspective it’s too late…and I accept that, but I just want to tell you that I do love you and that if you ever found a place in your heart to give our relationship another chance, you know that you’ve got a guaranteed option in me.”
From there, the woman will feel as though he really has changed and gets it now.
In cases like this, the woman won’t always be willing to immediately meet up with him and get back together, but there are specific tactics that a guy can use to speed up the process and make her feel as though she really is losing the love of her life.
If you want to learn how to make an ex feel that way, I recommend that you watch my program, Get Your Ex Back: Super System
4. If she has broken up with you and is now with another guy.
This is probably the most common of the ex back situations I deal with, where the woman is able to move on quite quickly after a break up or she already had a replacement guy ready to go in the background.
In cases like this, the woman usually finds a new guy that gives her the kind of emotional experience that she wasn’t getting in her previous relationship.
For example: If her previous boyfriend (or husband) was needy, insecure or clingy, then she will be attracted to guys who are more emotionally confident and secure than he was.
Another example is when a woman was in a relationship with a guy who wouldn’t commit. In cases like that, she will usually find a guy who not only make her feel attracted and happy, but is more than willing to commit to her.
So, in situations where the woman has moved on, what a guy needs to do is improve his ability to make his ex feel attracted and respectful towards him on the phone and in person.
When he talks to her on the phone or in person, he needs to getting her laughing, smiling and feeling attracted to his confidence and emotional strength and security as a man, rather than talking to her from a low emotional state or trying to suck up to her by being extra nice and courteous.
What a guy can say in a situation like this is something like, “I know that you’ve know moved on and I accept that. I know that we’re not getting back together, but I do want to take this opportunity to tell you that I now do understand why you felt it was right to break up with me. It was a huge wake up call for me and I want to say sorry for the way I made you feel. I wish it could have worked things out, but obviously we couldn’t and you’ve moved on now.”
From there, the guy needs to be able to get her to meet up with him in person so he can get her to feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for the new and improved version of himself.
Prior to the meet up, he also needs to ensure that he is using other techniques (that I only ever reveal in my program, Get Your Ex Back: Super System) to bring down her protective guard and make her feel more willing to meet up with him in person.
At the meet up, he needs to make her feel as though she can relax and respect him again. Once that happens, she will then drop her guard and allow herself to open up and feel attracted to him again, even if just slightly to begin with.
When she begins to feel attracted to him again, her feelings with naturally begin to change and she will look at him in a more positive light. She will also find it much easier to forgive him and begin to forget the mistakes he made in the past, because he is clearly a much better man now.
In cases like this, relationships can get back together right away, but they usually take anywhere from 2 weeks to 2 months to fully rekindle.
As long as he makes his ex girlfriend (fiancé or wife) feel a strong, renewed sense of respect and attraction for him, she will naturally begin to change her perspective of him and the gates to a rekindled relationship will begin to open.
For example: If she hated him during the break up and was turned off by how he handled himself afterwards, she will potentially have a negative perception of him.
However, if she meets up with him and he is now the sort of guy that she can look up to and respect (i.e. he is more emotionally mature and secure in himself as a man) and he is also able to make her feel attracted, laugh and smile during the interaction, she will begin to form a more positive perspective of him and her protective guard will start to come down.
There are also other techniques that you can use prior to the meet up to make your ex feel as though she really is losing the love of her life, which I outline in detail in my program, Get Your Ex Back: Super System
Okay, I hope these 4 examples of what to say to your ex to get her back have helped you understand the approach you need to take with the initial conversation.
If you need any further help, I recommend that you watch my step-by-step system for getting a woman back and begin the exciting process of getting her back.