The beginning of a relationship is the easy part because everything feels new, wonderful and exciting.
The question is: Will you get past the easy part and get to the more difficult stages of a relationship where you and her truly fall in love and deeply commit to each other for life?
As a man, it’s your responsibility to guide a woman into deeper feelings of love, respect and attraction for you. If you don’t do that, the relationship will gradually begin to fall apart and will usually end in a break up.
In the past, a woman was almost completely dependant on a man for her survival. She had to remain a virgin until marriage and then stick with her chosen man for life, even if she wasn’t happy because divorce was pretty much forbidden.
Back in 1900 for example, the divorce rate was less than 10% across the developed world, whereas today it’s at an average of 50%.
If you want to keep a relationship together with a woman, you’ve got to be able to deepen her feelings of respect, love and attraction for you over time. Much of this comes down to your ability to be an attractive man in her eyes.
Watch this video to understand how it works…
There is no greater feeling in the world than the excitement and the thrill that you experience at the beginning of a relationship. Everything is new, fresh and exciting and you and the woman are buzzing with new feelings of love, lust and belonging. It feels gooooood.
You’re happy with yourself for landing a new girlfriend and that gives you a feeling of satisfaction and achievement. You are now officially a member of an exclusive club: The Couples Club.
No more lonely nights, no more hanging out trying to find the right girl and no more anxiety about approaching women. No more being the only without a woman at a party or being the third wheel when you hang out with your buddy and his girlfriend.
So, Where Do You Go From Here?
Once the dust has settled and the excitement of being at the beginning of a relationship has worn off, many guys find themselves stuck and unsure on how to proceed.
Most people assume that you should just keep hanging out, having sex and seeing each other and that will cause both of you to fall deeper in love with each other.
Yet, that’s not how it works.
If you want a woman to gradually feel deeper and stronger feelings of love, respect and attraction for you, then you need to be what she refers to as a real man.
Don’t Seek Advice From Women
Since a lot modern guys grow up without a lot of male role models around them, much of the information they get about dating and relationships comes from women; their mothers, grandmothers, sisters or school teachers.
The fact is, while women do know what they want from a man, they are too ashamed to say it in public or even around most friends. Why? They can’t say, “I like a confident guy who knows he can have me. He’s so confident and sure of himself that I have to impress him to get with him.”
Instead, they will say, “I like a nice guy who listens, is caring and doesn’t think he can just have me” because they don’t want to give all guys the impression that they are actually a lot easier to pick up than they let on.
Growing up, a mother may tell her son to “be a nice boy,” to shower his girlfriend with flowers and gifts, to call her (or text her, or e-mail her) every day and to do what his girlfriend tells him to do.
She’ll say that being nice and being a gentleman is the way to ensure he doesn’t get dumped before the beginning of the relationship has even had a chance to get started. Yet, in reality, women do not respond well to guys being extra nice in the hope of being rewarded with love, sex and affection.
This “getting to know each other” period at the beginning of a relationship is crucial, and is what will determine whether the relationship is going to develop into something serious and long term, or whether it is going to fizzle out and die right at the start.
While a mother has good intentions for telling her son that sort of thing, it is not the answer to keeping a woman interested and guiding both you and her into deeper feelings of love, respect and attraction for each other.
Separating the Men From the Boys
Women are more attracted to an alpha male than any other type of male.
An alpha male is strong, both mentally and emotionally, he’s confident, he’s self-assured and he’s the kind of guy who knows what he wants and goes out and gets it. The opposite of an alpha male is the lower-ranking male (starting from beta male and going all the way down to an omega male).
The lower-ranking male is mentally and emotionally weak, lacks confidence and self esteem and is the kind of guy who waits around hoping for life to happen.
A guy like that will often be able to get lucky and get to the beginning of a relationship with a woman, but once this initial lust buzz has worn off, the woman will usually dump him and move on.
Lower-ranking males will usually do whatever they can (including drinking alcohol to work up the courage to approach a woman) to put on a brave front and approach women they find attractive.
From there, they will say and do whatever they can to impress the woman and hope that she gives her phone number out, kisses him, dates him and commits to being in a relationship with him.
If they are lucky enough to get a dating relationship going with a woman, it’s usually with the type of woman who doesn’t have a lot of relationship experience, is desperate to find a new guy right away (e.g. to get over an ex) or who isn’t very attractive to most men.
Sometimes though, a guy will score an awesome woman (the type that most guys want), but it usually won’t last for very long. As the relationship gets going, he won’t just can’t stop his lower-ranking male style of thinking from causing problems between himself and the woman. For example, he will:
1. Become insecure:
Insecurity creeps in and he begins to question his good luck. He begins to wonder why his woman likes him and assumes that she will likely dump him soon, just like most girls have done to him before.
2. Be unable to control his jealousy
Stemming from his insecurity and lack of confidence, he will begin to feel jealous. He’ll secretly feel that any guy that she interacts with will be a threat to his relationship with her.
This lower-ranking male thinking will cause him to start accusing her of liking other guys or even cheating. He might even tell her that if she wants to stay with him, she’s going to have to stop talking to other guys she knows…who he thinks will steal her from him.
3. Feel submissive or powerless around her
After putting on a confident front at the beginning of the relationship, these guys will gradually become submissive by handing over their power to the woman.
He will pretty much let the woman become the dominant one to the point where she ends up feeling like “the man” in the relationship and that turns both of them off each other sexually.
4. Stop seducing her:
Nothing is worse for a woman than being seduced into a new relationship, only to discover that it was all an act or that the guy really doesn’t know how to guide her into deeper feelings of love, respect and attraction.
All he can do it get to the beginning of a relationship, have sex, go hang out together at a few cool places (e.g. beach, movies, etc) and then that’s all he’s got to offer. Without continuous seduction a relationship, it may as well be a friendship. Continuous seduction is what keeps a woman (and a man) turned on and wanting more as the years go on.
5. Stop adoring her
He’s got the girl, so now it’s time to concentrate on playing the new, massive video game that has just been released, right? Wrong.
Guys who behave the same way they did when they were single will be single again sooner than they thought. There’s nothing wrong with playing video games when you’re in a relationship, but there is something wrong with taking a woman for granted and hiding from your true potential in life behind video games.
You’ve got to make sure that you maintain a healthy balance between focussing on your interests and giving her the love, attention and respect she deserves.
Life Changes When You Get Into a Truly Committed Relationship
Here’s what happened to me when I met my girlfriend, who recently became my wife (we got engaged after a short engagement period)….
Deep down, some guys don’t want to have to make any changes about themselves or lifestyle when they get a girlfriend.
If, in your heart and mind, you don’t want a relationship to change you in any way, then just make sure you don’t try to make it a committed one.
If you’re just interested in dating relationships that last a few months to a year or are dating multiple women at once, then you don’t have to worry about changing anything about yourself – the relationships will most-likely end.
However, if you want a relationship to last, then you need to choose the right woman and then be prepared to constantly grow as a couple. If only one of you grows, but the other remains stagnant, then problems will arise and it will all begin to fall apart, unless the other person lifts their game.
Guide You and Your Woman Into Deeper Love
As a man, it’s your responsibility to guide both yourself and your woman into deeper feelings of love, respect and attraction for each other.
You have to be the leader with that. She has to do it too, but just don’t expect her or request her to be the leader of it. It is your responsibility.