If you don’t want to be sitting around worrying that she might be cheating on you or thinking about leaving you, the secret is to make her feel high levels of respect, love and attraction for you.
If those three elements are not there, then it won’t matter how often you chat to her on Skype, Facebook, Whatsapp, via SMS / text, email or phone. Without respect, love and attraction, most modern women will cheat (54% in normal relationships and approximately 70% in long distance relationships).
If you don’t want the relationship to fall apart while you are a long distance from each other, you need to make sure that you are being the type of guy that she continues to feel a lot of respect, love and attraction for.
Watch this video to understand how it works…
Then and Now
In the past, most people lived out their entire life in the original town or city where they were born. Yet, today’s world is a lot different and an increasing number of relationships are becoming long-distance.
Unlike in the past where is was forbidden and taboo for a marriage to end in divorce (people didn’t have casual, unmarried relationships back in the late 1800s to early 1900s), today’s culture accepts break ups and divorce as normal.
Women are now free to have sex with whoever they want and break up with a guy in a local or long distance relationship. If a woman isn’t feeling the type of love, respect and attraction that she wants, she doesn’t have to stay faithful and wait around hoping that things change.
Going Long Distance
Almost everyone knows one or a few people who have travelled and even lived overseas, or simply relocated to another part of the country.
Lately, an increasing number of guys have been contacting me looking for help before they lose their long distance girlfriend, fiance or wife.
While most guys are looking for advice on things to do (e.g. chatting on Skype, watching a movie at the same time, etc) in a long-distance relationship, what they really need help with is how to maintain her feelings of love, respect and attraction for them.
A lot of the advice you will find online centers around “doing things together” virturally, but no matter how many things you do together online, it won’t stop her from cheating on you or leaving you if she doesn’t actually feel a lot of respect, love and attraction for you.
I recommend that you watch this video for more of an insight on modern relationships:
Is Your Relationship Really Ready For Long Distance?
The first thing I need to make clear to guys who are after tips on things to do in a long-distance relationship is this: Your relationship needs to be fairly well established before it becomes a long-distance one, otherwise she will be less committed and invested in the idea of you and the relationship.
It takes a strong emotional connection to be able to cope with the limitations in physical contact that a long-distance relationship will create, so unless that emotional bond has had time to form, the lack of physical closeness will inevitably lead to a gradual drift apart.
I have friends who are married and either the man or woman has to be away for long periods of time because of work commitments. They’ve been able to make it work because they already have an established relationship, are still madly in love and are completely committed to each other.
However, I also have friends who’ve lost a girlfriend (or some of my female friends who’ve lost a boyfriend) because of distance. In their case, the relationship fell apart mainly because they weren’t completely committed to each other yet. It was love and they were enjoying the sex, but one or both of them just weren’t truly ready to commit to the other.
Where Guys Go Wrong
The Internet is awesome and it’s great that millions of people are blogging online and helping each other out. However, sometimes a blogger’s good intentions to give dating and relationship advice ends up causing problems for men.
One common piece of bad advice online is that you should “Skype daily” or “Send her e-gifts” of some sort. While there is nothing wrong with doing something cute or sweet every now and then, you should not lay it on too thick or do it often. Why? If a woman doesn’t feel much respect and attraction for you, then sending her sweet things online will have the opposite effect.
She will begin to think, “Why am I not feeling excited to get this sweet message from him?” or “Why do I feel like I don’t want to talk with him much anymore?” That is obviously not how you want to make a woman feel in a long distance relationship.
Some bloggers will tell you to spend as much together with his her as possible.
This will mean doing things via video calls, watching TV shows at the same time, staying involved in each other’s daily lives via phone calls, text messages, emails, and any other means of “live” communication available. It makes sense to be in regular contact, but trying too hard to be involved in a woman’s life actually turns her off.
Women are naturally attracted to a man who has purpose in life OTHER than the woman. If you are sitting around thinking about her all day instead of being a man and rising through the levels of your true potential to reach for you true purpose in life, then it will naturally turn her off.
She might enjoy all the attention initially, but she will quickly begin to feel turned off by you. At that point, she will begin to open herself up to the idea of being with other men.
Guys who spend too much time pursuing a woman in a long distance relationship can easily get to the point where they feel insecure.
When she’s not in the mood to “hang out virtually” one night, he might begin to worrying that he’s losing her or that some other guy has stolen her heart. He may then begin to behave in jealous and insecure ways, which will turn her off and make her begin to question the “man” she is holding out for.
Women are attracted to the strength in men and turned off by the weakness. So, showing her your emotional weakness to a woman in a long distance relationship will only cause her to lose attraction for you and for other men to suddenly appear more attractive in her eyes.
Stay True to the Man You Are
Trying too hard to make up for not being together physically, will usually lead to suffocating the life out of a relationship with a woman.
If you’re not growing as a man and reaching for your true potential life as a man, then you’re stagnating. When she feels that and notices it, her attraction and respect for you will begin to diminish and the relationship will begin to feel unnecessary and weird to her.
It will no longer be seen as something that is she wants or enjoys, but will instead feel like a burden for her. You will become someone that she has to take care of, rather than a man she can look up to and feel proud, lucky and excited to be with.
You need to keep being the man she fell in love with while also becoming a bigger and better man each day if you want her to stay in love with you. That principle of male-female relationships applies whether you’re living together or are or thousands of miles apart.
The core thing you need to remember in terms of things to do in a long-distance relationship is that keeping any relationship alive and making it a successful one comes down to being a man who knows how to create and maintain the ideal relationship dynamic in a male-female relationship.
This means being a man who knows how to make a woman feel like a woman and a man who has what it takes to naturally lead the way in a relationship – irrespective of whether it’s a long-distance one or not.
So, instead of looking for cute things to do in a long distance relationship and wasting time, energy and money buying her a bunch of gifts or gadgets, ask yourself these questions…
Am I the sort of man that she will happily stay faithful to?
Have I sparked enough attraction in her for me that she isn’t interested in other men?
Have I been guiding her into deeper feelings of love, respect and attraction for me, or have I been slowly killing our relationship with my insecurities or emotional weakness?