When you consider the sheer number of people who live in close proximity to each other in cities and towns all over the world, you’d think it would be possible to meet a woman who lives near you.
Yet, sometimes you meet a girl who is exactly what you want, with one exception: She lives far away from you in another country, state or city or you started out in the same place, but she has moved away.
So, when you aren’t in close proximity to each other, will the relationship survive?
Chances of Survival
There are many old sayings that can be applied to long-distance relationships, two of which offer completely different perspectives: “Absence makes the heart grow fonder” and “Out of sight is out of mind.”
Both of those are true, yet which one will be true for you?
It all depends on how much respect, love and attraction your woman feels for you. If your woman looks up to you and respects you as a man, feels attracted to who you are and loves who she is in her relationship with you, then absence WILL make her heart grow fonder.
However, if she doesn’t feel much respect, love and attraction for you, then when you are out of her sight, you will most likely be out of her mind most of the time. She won’t feel like she is losing much by not being with you, so she will probably decide to find a new guy.
How can you make a woman feel enough respect, attraction and love for you so she never wants to leave you?
When you are always making her feel respect, attraction and love for you (even though you can only chat via phone, video chat or messages), she naturally doesn’t want to leave you.
She feels drawn to you and doesn’t want to lose you because you are her perfect man. You are giving her the kind of relationship and attraction experience that she really wants, even though you don’t get to see each other very often.
By the way…
How Long Have You Been Together?
If your relationship is in the very early stages and you’re not truly in love yet, then the chances of surviving a lengthy enforced separation are slim.
If you’re already a year or two into a loving relationship that feels great for both of you, then there’s every chance that it will survive a period of separation, provided that it is what you both really want.
Even if a woman says that she loves you, it doesn’t mean that she will stick by you.
I’ve been helping guys to get ex girlfriends, fiances or wives back for many years and I always hear similar things from guys.
The woman had said to him that she loves him, is considering marrying him, sees him in her future, wants to have a family with him, etc.
Then, out of the blue, she says that she no longer feels the same way.
So, if you feel like your woman might decide to break up with you soon, watch this video to understand how to stop a breakup before it happens…
Going the Distance
These days, there are millions of couples from all over the world who manage to make a long-distance relationship work.
One of the most common reasons for a relationship to become long distance, is due to work commitments.
Sometimes, a once in a lifetime career opportunity presents itself and the chance to go somewhere, do something, or achieve an ambition is just too great to pass up.
Sometimes being away from home is just a regular part of your job.
Off-shore workers for example, soldiers, miners, business executives on overseas trips, school students who move away to study at different universities, and even movie stars and touring bands who spend long periods of time away from home while filming on location or on tour.
When you or your woman decide that you want to be away from one another, something that you need to question is whether that “opportunity of a lifetime” might be a signal that your relationship is not really working out.
Maybe one of you is trying to create a big physical distance between you, to then create an emotional distance that leads to a breakup.
Know Before You Go
If a long-distance relationship is to stand any chance of survival, there must be an end goal in sight before it even begins. This means knowing exactly how long the separation will last in terms of months, weeks, or even days.
It’s not the actual length of time apart that determines whether your relationship will survive or not, it’s the impact the separation will have on your existing relationship that matters the most.
If you’re a soldier and your relationship has survived several six week long tours of duty already, an upcoming separation of six months will have less of an impact than if you’ve never been apart from your girlfriend for longer than your eight hour working day.
By knowing exactly or approximately how long the separation will last, you can then both decide whether it’s something that you’re willing to go through together. Tough times are much easier to endure when there is an end in sight and without that end goal in place, giving up might become the easier option.
Avoid Cheating
If both of you are quite popular and live active social lives, it may only be so long before one of you cheats or at least starts thinking about cheating.
While it might seem like an impossible thought now because you are so in love with each other, other options may begin to look good when neither of you has had sex for 60 days or more.
If you suspect that she might cheat on you, discuss it upfront. Be honest and talk about how natural it is to want sex, but then also talk about how even the slightest indiscretion will destroy the relationship.
For example: If she finds out that you’ve been texting back and forth with an ex-girlfriend who is trying to hook up with you again while you are in her town or city, the trust in your relationship will be forever ruined.
Decide how you will both react if people try to take advantage of the opportunity to hook up with you, so you are both less likely to become excited by the opportunity and then make a mistake.
Making it Work
Communication is key in any relationship and it’s absolutely vital in a long-distance relationship.
Talking on the phone, Skype or Facetime is great, but if the way that you talk to her isn’t making her feel attracted to you, respectful of you and more in love with you, then it’s not going to help.
Additionally, if you’re texting the crap out of her and saying that you miss her every day, that will be sweet for a little while, but it will get boring and even annoying if she doesn’t feel much respect, love and attraction for you.
Assuming that you are the sort of guy who knows how to trigger feelings of sexual attraction inside of a woman, then email, text and video calls are great when you relocate to a different time-zone because you can maintain a connection that feels good for both of you.
Sending photos of where you’re living, where you’re working, or something unusual you discovered that day can also help to make your girlfriend (fiance or wife) feel included in your everyday life.
If she already feels a lot of respect, love and attraction for you, she will appreciate and cherish anything that you send her.
Scheduled Chats
Arranging to talk at the same time every week is a good idea because it gives you both something to look forward to.
It also ensures that you aren’t over-communicating with each other or calling each other at inconvenient times (e.g. she’s just about to go to sleep and you’ve just finished lunch and are full of energy).
By making it a priority to speak to each other at scheduled times, you’re letting your woman know that she’s still a priority in your life, but that doesn’t mean you can’t ever still be spontaneous.
If you’re going to do something spontaneous, make it a good night text or send her a video or audio message on Facebook that will make her laugh (that will make her feel some attraction for you), smile and feel good before she goes to sleep.
Learn More?
If you would like to learn more about how to maintain the perfect relationship dynamic, I highly recommend that you watch Make Her Love You For Life
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Great article. A Long distance relationship does work if you want it to work. It’s also an opportunity for you to tell how much you are into her by experiencing how it feels when you are physically apart from each other for a long time. But the question is: Since you are apart, then it means you’ll have to make more conversation than you normally would when you are physically with her; how do you vary your conversation topics to make it more interesting and hence avoid repeated conversations and jokes?
Hi Electro
Thanks for your question.
The truth is: It ain’t easy. There’s only so many times you can talk about work, what you ate, the weather, etc before it gets boring for both of you.
Basically you need to ‘do stuff together’ virtually and then talk about it. For instance, you might come across an article or video about a travel destination you both want to venture to one day…send her that and then talk about it together. She might take a photo of what she ate for dinner and you can talk about that and how she will cook it for you when you next see each other.
Unlike in person, where the environment around you will provide stimuli for conversation (e.g. TV, being in social situations or public places together, hanging with friends, eating out, etc) – when you’re only together virtually, you literally need to try to do things together. Otherwise, you’ll both just keep going over the same topics again and again.
You can also look over old photos of you and her together (assuming you have them posed online to Facebook for example) and talk about each of the times when the photo was taken. For instance, “Remember this day at the beach when we hired the inflatable li-los and just floated on the water for an hour?”
Another thing to do is plan what you’re going to do when you meet again. Create a wishlist of all the things you want to do together within the first week. This helps have something that you’re both wanting and aiming for.
Cheers
Dan
Man I am really happy using many of your programs, I wrote you before about how well your programs help me, it make me an amazing man.
I been dating this hot girl for 2 months (3 weeks as a long distance).
When we were together we had the best days of my life, I remember when I first met her it was incredible I just saw the most beautiful girl in then club and after 1 hour of flirting, laughing and being confident I end up kissing her,
the first week I left she always call me saying how much she miss me and love me, she even told me that she had never love someone until me.
The problem is that she has 15 days acting rear she does not laugh or like to be flirt, she is challenge me every day we speak. 3 days ago I told her that we should do something together (but separately) and she didnt like it or that we should do something together she didnt like it, then i told her that if she wanted to finish the relationship, then she rapidly said that she wants to be with me but she is fealing like this for 15 days she has been figthing with everyone, but she really wants me to be his boyfriend.
I told her that we have to comunicate more, but she says that is just the way she is.
I dont know how to keep this going we only communicate by phone.
Maybe she is write and I am just crazy, but for me is impossible to keep a relationship when you had no idea how is she feeling, she does not like to say how she feels, and I cant see her expression.
How can I know how she is.This is making me crazy, I had many other girls here at college that I could date and my friends keep telling me to dump her that i am young, and with this and my school and my objectives I dont have time to think in ways of keeping the relationship.
Man you had told me how to be a real men and I thank you for that a lot I mean It took me 5 months to become a real man and I still haven’t become completly this good guy with edge, but I am in good way, and I know that I should end this cause she is getting in the way of my objective, but it just suck that something that may have been amazing finished for a long distance thing, I have problems facing the fact that I have to finish many relationships because of my objective, by the way I had 3 long distance relationships in the past, but this one has been the best.
my questions are:
1 what can I do to keep the relationship alive?
2 how can I control a test when i dont know if is even a test?
3 my goal require me to move to diferent places in the world always, how can I found someone when I am always moving?
Hi Pablo
Thanks for your positive feedback and questions.
It sounds like you followed my advice UNTIL you got into a relationship with her. Then, you turned into a needy guy. Remember what I said in Better Than a Bad Boy about how you should prioritize her in your life? You are making her #1 and she doesn’t like it. She feels your neediness. You can’t hide it by pretending to be Mr. Cool – she can feel your neediness, desperation, etc. You are always worrying about how she feels…she should be worrying that about YOU. Watch Better Than a Bad Boy again and get yourself back on track. You will push her away completely if you keep acting like you have been.
About your questions:
1. Make her be the one who is trying to keep it alive. How? Be the man I explain in Better Than a Bad Boy.
2. Remember what I said in Better Than a Bad Boy about if you happen to FAIL a test? Watch that part again and follow the advice. You will then not worry about trying to control the tests she put you through.
3. Take her with you. You will work it out. If you are the type of man I explain in Better Than a Bad Boy, the woman will follow you anywhere.
Cheers
Dan
You are write, I am just realizing i don’t have a purpose on life.
I always tough that my carrier(STUDIES) was my purpose, but by watching better that a bad boy again I realise that this wasn’t it because even though i like my studies it doesnt bring me that thing that you get with a purpose.
The true is that I always worry about stupid staff so I am really going to try to find a purpose.
Over this day I also realise that I am not tough because since I was a child my parents didnt let me fight(defent myself) not even verbaly so I suppress masculinity and become a nice guy, but I always wanted to know how to defend myself and now that I am an adult I am gonna try it, I don’t know if this is gonna be my pupose, but I know that I want to go and I will go to the gym everyday to learn how to fight and to FINALLY DO SOMETHING THAT I ALWAYS WANTED TO LEARN
THANKS Dan
More power to you Pablo.
Remember what I said in Better Than a Bad Boy, “Walk in the direction of you purpose” You don’t need to know all the details of your purpose yet, but follow your dreams and go after what you really want to achieve in life. It will then reveal itself to you.
Cheers
Dan
Also: Make sure you do the “Purpose Discovery Exercise” that I provide in Better Than a Bad Boy.
If you do it properly, you will discover your true purpose in life. The direction in which you should head will become clear to you. It sounds like you haven’t yet completed that exercise.
Cheers
Dan
Hi Dan. There’s a girl I met online (twitter to be precise), we’eve been talking for some months and I like her a lot. She’s pretty and got a good sense of humor. However, she stays in America while I live in Africa,although she said she doesn’t have a problem dating someone overseas but she would have to think about it and we should just get to know each other for now. But she rarely says hello first on twitter unless I do, but she apologises. What do you think I can do to take the friendship forward and start a relationship? P.S she’s in college, but I just finished university.I’m about to start work. Thanks
Hi Tope
She would “have to think about it”….that’s the last thing you want a woman to be doing. You need to be making her FEEL, not think. About changing the friendship to a relationship, it won’t happen unless you at least kiss her. All it will take is another guy to come along and kiss her (and then have sex with her) and you’re a distant memory…possibly even a nuisance when you keep tweeting to her.
Either get her over to meet you, or get another woman. You’re living in a fantasy at the moment. It will be crushed if another guy comes along and gets physical with her.
Cheers
Dan
I think I am really close of my goal and that makes me really happy.
Unfortunately, it took me too long and eventhough I am not a needy guy anymore she sees me that way because I lost the control of my long-distance relationship because she answer the phone when she wants and she call me when she wants to.
I been trying to use the love fix method that you teach me, but it does not work in the phone, she start to disrespect me by hang in up and even though we had a really good time together is time to break up and the only reason when she does not do it is cause she is one of this girls that like to get strong guys break them and then have a relationship where she won’t be hurt.
Since I have a goal now I think i can break up with her and not feel so bad, I stop worrying about her and I feel more in control when we talk.
I will prefer to have the control of the relationship back an not having to break up with her
Do you know how can I get the control back now that she sees me as a needy guy?
the things you teach me in BETTER THAN A BAD BOY like love fix WORK in person, but not in the phone how can I break a girl that does not like to give up using the phone.
by the way she thinks that she is at the perfect place of the relationship where I will never break up with her and she has all the power, still she sometimes like to call sometimes to show some interest
P.S I had almost to months beeing a needy guy, until I stop worrying
Hi Pablo
Thanks for your question.
Yes, the Love Fix is described as a PHYSICAL response to her tests, taunts and tantrums – that’s why it works in person. The reason she isn’t responding well to you on the phone is that she already KNOWS that you’re a needy guy and that she has the power. It is going to take a CONSISTENT display of you being the man, you having the power and you not being needy for her to change her perspective of you. She has to learn to trust that you can actually be a man CONSISTENTLY. If not, she will have to take on the position of power and control.
Keep using the advice in the program properly and she will eventually begin to trust you. However, since this is ALSO a long distance relationship, your chances of keeping it together are going to be slim. All it will take for you to be replaced is a confident, masculine guy to come along and sleep with her. If he is more of a man than you, she will fall into his arms.
Cheers
Dan
The relationship went worse we both stop answering the phone.
I could not use the advise anymore(with her) because she was not even answering the phone when I call her and she stop calling me and I stop calling her, I kiss another girl.
I send her a gift and she said that she did not get it, so I decide that enough was enough and finish thing, she said whatever and I just ask her why even though she waned to break up she did not do it. She said that I was the one breaking up, and I too her that if this did not work was because she did not allowed, she said that I never understud her, then I wish her the best and she call me a hypocrite and that she never really like me, a part of me wanted to fight her back, but i saw no point and I just said good bye and told her than the few time that we had together was good, but this long distance just did not work for us she said good bye in a really angry tone and erase me from Facebook.
6 days later(today) She add me in facebook
She has always being afraid of love.
my questions are:
1 did I handle the break up allrigth by not getting angry?
2 why did she get angry?
3 why did she errase me then add me in Facebook?
4 I star going to clubs again and getting phone numbers and kisses, but I still MISSING HER sometimes and felling like the break up was a bad idea, is that normal ?
5 why did she lie about not getting a gift or any pone calls?
6 Is she expecting a message?
by the way I star answering her after she stop answering me.
and she has never have a relationship longer than 3 months she allways dump them before 3 months.
one last thing, Dan thanks alot for your programsbecause eventhough this break up hurt, now that I have other girls it does not hurt as much as other break ups .
Hi Pablo
Woah…that’s a lot of questions you’ve asked there mate. Okay, let’s see:
1. Yes. However, there is nothing wrong with showing frustration or anger if that is your genuine emotion. As explained in Better Than a Bad Boy, the main thing is that you remain in CONTROL of your emotions. The golden rule is: Be real.
2. I don’t know enough about her or what has happened to answer that. You tell me what you think.
3. Some girls lose control of their emotions and do things like that. If you were following the advice in Better Than a Bad Boy properly (from the start, which you couldn’t have because you didn’t have the program back then!), you wouldn’t have worried about that and she would have apologized for doing it.
4. Yes. The solution is to sleep with a woman who is hotter than her. Always works.
5. Same answer as #3 – girls aren’t guys. Don’t expect her to act like a sensible man because she’s a woman.
6. Who cares?
She’s never had a relationship last longer than 3 months and you’re trying to have a LONG DISTANCE relationship with her? Lol…a recipe for disaster.
Approach new women and get on with your life.
Cheers
Dan
Hahahaha, Dude you are great, thanks a lot 🙂
dude I date and have sex with other woman and I am having a lot of fun, but a week ago my ex call my to see how I was, then my ex just send me a Facebook message saying that she wants me back and I dont know what to do, I mean I tough things were over cause I did nothing to get her back I didnt call her or text her or anything I just follow your advise and move on I even date other girls, I dont know if I should give her a second chanse any advise. thanks
by the way i will be at the same place than her in a month
Hi Pablo
Just sleep with her and see what happens. It’s a rocky relationship, so just enjoy the ride and learn from it. I would advise that you wear a condom though – you don’t want to get a woman like that pregnant! You’d be a single dad in no time at all.
Cheers
Dan