As you face the various challenges that life seems to throw at you, it may not feel so easy to maintain a positive attitude the entire time.
Yet, the truth is that you are in control of your attitude. You get to decide how you feel about things and the importance you place on certain events in your life.
For example: Some guys will feel negative, frustrated and annoyed while walking through a busy city, while other guys will feel positive, relaxed and happy in the same environment.
The difference between the guys is in how they think, feel and perceive the world around them.
Your attitude towards certain things is not fixed.
Think back to a time in your life when you hated something, which you then later loved or were more open and accepting of.
It doesn’t matter what your attitude is right now (i.e. whether it’s kind of positive or very negative), you CAN become a more positive, forward moving guy who feels more happiness and joy about life than you have in the past.
A Positive Attitude Gets You Places
Having a positive attitude is absolutely essential to achieving continued success in life.
You can achieve random successes with a negative attitude, but a positive attitude makes success a more regular, consistent part of your life.
It doesn’t matter if you’re looking for a job, approaching women that you find attractive or attempting a new sport or hobby; a positive attitude makes it so much more likely that you will succeed.
Women notice your confidence in yourself and potential employers feel your positivity and it has a magnetic effect. There is something about you that is more charismatic and enjoyable to be around compared to the negative guy they recently encountered.
Look on the bright side of things in life is a choice. You can focus on the negatives if you want, but it won’t get you far. It may make you feel more intelligent than everyone else because they can’t see the problems that you can, but you will feel like crap.
If you spend more time focusing on the negative side of life rather than the positive, you will naturally feel down and depressed. You may also feel a lack of motivation to take the action required to get the results you really want.
You just let life pass you by because in your mind, the world is all screwed up anyway. You don’t understand why people are smiling so much or find reasons to be happy, when from your perspective, the world is going down the drain and we’re all doomed.
If you want to get on the path to having and maintaining a more positive attitude, here are 7 ways to start….
1. Build a Mental Bridge
If you feel negative, insecure, fearful or anxious about a specific area of life, the best way to start feeling confident and positive about it is to use bridging mindsets.
A bridging mindset is where you create a bridge between your current negative mindsets and the positive mindset that you want to achieve.
For example: If you do a great job on a project at work and your boss compliments you, use that as an opportunity to add to your positive attitude about becoming successful in your career.
Negative mindset: “Yeah, big deal…I got congratulated. I’ll probably never get promoted anyway because the other guy has a degree and is better friends with the boss…it doesn’t matter how good of a job I do, I’m stuck in this position.”
Bridging mindset: “Cool! I’m great at what I do and the boss notices it. The better I do at other projects, the higher my chances are of being promoted in future. With every little improvement I make to my work, I get closer to reaching my goal of being promoted. I’m going to thank my boss for the compliment and ask him what else he would like to see from me at work.”
This type of thinking allows you to achieve and maintain a positive attitude. By using Bridging Mindsets you feel more inspired to go after what you want with more confidence and determination. After a while, you naturally think in a positive, confident and forward moving way and things really start to happen for you in life.
2. Get Positive Reinforcement From Successful People
While some men will get more benefit out of reading motivational books, others respond better to watching motivational videos, or listening to motivational CDs, radio talk shows or even online training.
Others may prefer to post positive motivational messages around their home, car and/or workplace. Ultimately it really doesn’t matter how you intake positive messages; it’s only important that you give yourself the gift of taking advantage of these helpful psychological tools because they do work.
Here are some positive reinforcement messages that should keep you focused on taking the action you need to succeed…
“Our greatest weakness lies in giving up. The most certain way to succeed is always to try just one more time” and “”Many of life’s failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.” Thomas A. Edison (1847-1931. Inventor of the light bulb, phonograph, motion picture camera and many other important pieces of technology).
“Success is walking from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.” Winston Churchill (1874-1965. Former Prime Minister of the United Kingdom)
“Believe that you can and you’re half way there.” Theodore Roosevelt (1858-1919. Former President of the United States)
“Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things that you didn’t do than by the ones you did do, so throw off the bowlines, sail away from safe harbor, catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore, Dream, Discover.” Mark Twain (1835-1910. American author).
“Successful people do what unsuccessful people are not willing to do. Don’t wish it were easier; wish you were better.” Jim Rohn (1930-2009. American author)
“You may have to fight a battle more than once to win it.” Margaret Thatcher (1925-2013. Former Prime Minister of the United Kingdom)
“It is what we think we know already that often prevents us from learning.” Claude Bernard (1813-1878. French physiologist).
“Success depends upon previous preparation, and without such preparation there is sure to be failure.” Confucius (551 BC – 479 BC. Chinese philosopher).
“Live as if you were to die tomorrow. Learn as if you were to live forever.” Mahatma Gandhi (1869-1948. Indian lawyer and and philosophical leader).
“All life is an experiment. The more experiments you make the better.” Ralph Waldo Emerson (1803-1882. American philosopher)
“By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.” Benjamin Franklin (1706-1790. Founding Father of the United States)
“The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is now.” Chinese Proverb
“Life shrinks or expands in proportion to one’s courage.” Anais Nin (1903-1977. French author)
Another source of motivation can come from your friends who are successful in life, or who have a pro-success attitude.
In life, you should surround yourself with positive, forward moving people who have a positive outlook rather than people who always seem to focus on the negative side to pretty much everything in life. Don’t ever be afraid to make new friends and leave negative friends behind until they change their ways. You deserve to have great people in your life.
3. Have a Flexible Plan
No matter how good your plan is, roadblocks are usually going to pop up and get in your way from time to time.
Success almost never, ever happens in a straight line from A to B. There are almost always obstacles to overcome along the way, which is where the majority of people give up.
They initially look at their goal as just going from A to B, but when they realize that they can’t reach B until they clear many obstacles, they change their mind about getting to B and just stay where they were. Then, years later, they regret not trying and realize that years or decades of their life have gone by feeling unhappy, lost and unsatisfied with life.
If you want to achieve big things, you have to have to be flexible with your plan. You can’t just stick with the idea of going straight from A to B. Sometimes, you have to take detours and then get back on the road to B to eventually reach the goal.
Simply having the wisdom that random things can unexpectedly alter your plans and then being flexible in how you deal with them will allow you to work through the obstacles in a positive, effective manner.
You won’t say, “Ohh! This is too hard! I give up.” You will say, “Okay, fine…an obstacle to overcome. I can do that. I’ll get past this and then I’ll be closer to reaching my goal. I’m not going to give up like a weak person would. I am strong. I can do this.”
Don’t doubt your ability to succeed. See obstacles or setbacks and perfectly normal things that happen to almost everybody. Be an extraordinary guy by remaining strong, positive and forward moving no matter what obstacles you encounter.
Paul Jeffers, who lost his hearing at age 42 and yet went on to become one of the world’s best known salesmen is quoted as saying, “Setbacks are given to ordinary people to make them extraordinary.”
While we all may not agree with his overly positive attitude about such a bad circumstance, if you can show that much determination and positive self-regard when you face a minor or major setback, you will definitely achieve extraordinary things in your lifetime.
4. Sleep Well
It’s difficult to perform well and feel your best when you’re sleep deprived.
Sure there are the occasional times when you’re out partying or spending the night making love to a beautiful woman that may result in losing some important sleep. Yet, routinely sitting up watching TV or playing around on your computer is not a good enough excuse to deprive yourself of the renewing benefits of a good night’s sleep.
Optimal sleep patterns require that you consistently sleep seven to eight hours straight each night so that your brain’s neurotransmitters can function at their best. You can’t ‘make up for it’ by sleeping more on weekends – your body doesn’t understand that logic.
In numerous sleep studies they also discovered that sleep deprivation not only affected the study subjects’ ability to think properly, solve problems, and caused certain neurological and psychological problems, but it also caused subjects to experience greater physical strain on their organs such as their heart and digestive systems, which in turn created more emotional problems.
5. Get into the Habit of Exercising a Couple of Times a Week
Exercise is one of those things many of us put off believing it to be a luxury that only people with loads of time can enjoy.
The irony is that exercise actually gives you more energy to do more with your life, whereas not exercising leaves you tired and susceptible to feeling down, dejected and depressed. You might be able to get away with it for a while, but a lack of exercise may eventually catch up with you.
Science has proven that exercise releases endorphins (natural mood elevating ‘drugs’) that give you a euphoric feeling making it easier to achieve and maintain a positive attitude about yourself and your life.
6. Eat Well
Just as your body needs the right types of food to work optimally, your brain also requires the same healthy diet to function at its peak and to produce the chemicals needed such as endorphins, dopamine, glutamine and serotonin to help regulate your mood and sleep cycles.
Many athletes load up on simple carbohydrates (white bread, sweets, potatoes, pasta, etc.) for extra energy before a race or a game because simple carbs quickly turn into sugar and that sugar is transformed into available energy right away.
Educated athletes also know that this type of diet is only useful in the short term and a healthy regimen of fruits, vegetables, complex carbohydrates (grains, nuts, green vegetables, etc.) and that protein is essential for their body and mind to work at their best.
Through laziness, habit or a misguided attempt to lose or maintain weight, many people will skip meals such as breakfast. However, skipping meals can be as psychologically and physically bad for you as feeding your body the wrong type of foods because it causes your sugar levels to rise and fall unnaturally which can then result in mood swings.
7. Focus on the Opportunity to be Great
If you often daydream or fall asleep to fantasies about being a greater man than you are right now, why not make those dreams a reality?
You can be an even greater man than you are right now, but it won’t happen if you sit around doing nothing because you are afraid of success. You can be the amazing, respected man that you sometimes imagine yourself to be.
Work out what you really want from life right now and then go after it with passion. When you approach life in that way, you will find that achieving and maintaining a positive attitude will be natural, easy and automatic…
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I have some friends who are pretty negative and when I hang around with them too much, I find myself losing my positivity.
Any advice on that?
Thanks for your question.
Yes, don’t ever be afraid to make your friends aware of how their negativity is putting a strain on your relationship with them and on your life. If they don’t change, follow the advice in this article:
three things stop me from achieving goals:
1- I feel if I sleep early and wake up early, then I cant party outside late and meet horny women.
2- I dont have close friends.
3- The goals I want to reach take a long time, and until I reach one of those goals, I am going to feel bad about myself. For example, my self esteem will boost up when I become fit. But how long this is going to take ?
Thanks for your question.
You need to use the Confidence Building System that we teach in Dating Power: http://store.themodernman.com/in/ff7fdd
The way you are thinking now is NEVER going to help you or make you happy. You’re living in a world of excuses.
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