When guys want to know what makes a good relationship, they’re usually looking for confirmation that the things they’re doing are the right things to be doing to keep their relationship on track.
It might be that they’re just getting into a more serious relationship for the first time and they’re feeling a bit uncertain about what it takes to make a relationship work, or it might be that they’ve had past experience of relationships not working out and they want to know where things are going wrong.
Either way, there’s a LOT of misinformation out there. So-called relationship “experts” send out mixed messages and very often all end up contradicting one another anyway, and well-meaning friends can sometimes confuse matters even more by offering their own “pearls of wisdom” based on limited experiences that probably don’t have any relevance to you and your relationship.
So, it’s time to ditch the textbook theory and misguided advice and get to the truth. If you want to know what makes a good relationship, you need to learn from someone who knows, and that’s me!
I know because I’ve not only learned from my own relationship experiences, I’ve had the added privilege of helping hundreds of guys get into great relationships and countless others to not only get their struggling relationships back on track, but make them even better than before.
Busting the Myths Wide Open
I know the mistakes guys make as a result of misinformation, so let’s take a look at some of the most common untruths or myths put forward in answer to the question of what makes a good relationship.
1. Couples in a good relationship are “equals” in everything.
A good relationship is a relationship with clearly defined male and female roles. Think about it, a sexual spark ignites between a man and a woman, so if a couple strive to become “equals” in everything, they effectively throw a bucket of water over that spark.
It takes clearly defined roles to create and maintain a successful relationship dynamic, meaning it takes a man in a male role to make a woman feel sexy and feminine in a female role. There’s no sexual chemistry between equals.
The truth: In a good relationship, a man is confident in his role as a man and a woman is secure in her role as a woman.
2. Couples in good relationships do everything together.
In fact, doing everything together is likely to end a relationship rather than strengthen it. To be successful, both parties must have the freedom to pursue their own interests out with the relationship. After all, it’s having different things to talk about that keeps conversations alive!
Living in each other’s pockets might seem like a “couply” thing to do but it prevents each individual from growing as a person, and without breathing space, a relationship will stagnate.
The truth: It’s being your “own man” that makes a woman want you in the first place, so giving up your individuality can only dilute that attraction.
3. Couples in good relationships never argue.
Believing that you need to see eye-to-eye on everything in a relationship is just plain wrong. It’s not a lack of arguments that makes a relationship good, it’s the ability to respect one another’s point of view and either resolve arguments or agree to disagree.
Being two separate and different individuals is healthy in a relationship, being unable to express a difference of opinion for fear of causing conflict is not! In fact, honesty is probably the most truthful answer there is to the question of what makes a good relationship, so if you feel you’re not being true to yourself in a relationship, you’re not in a good relationship.
The truth – in a good relationship, arguments are resolved without losing respect for one another. If you never argue, maybe there’s no respect at all!
4. As long as you are in love, it doesn’t matter if you don’t have sex.
Okay, you know already that it takes sexual chemistry to create a successful relationship dynamic. Well, where you’ve got great sexual chemistry, you’ve got great sex! Think about it; if the sex is not there, the chemistry is not there, so the relationship dynamic is off kilter.
A couple doesn’t need to be ripping each other’s clothes off every five minutes to be in a good relationship, but if sex has slipped way down the priority list, there’s a problem in the relationship.
Relationships go through stages and, naturally, big life changes such as the arrival of kids will have an effect on a couple’s sex life. However, putting forward the idea that sex can take a backseat in a relationship and the relationship can still be a good one is bad advice.
In a good relationship with the right dynamic, sex is never considered unimportant, and while other things might change the frequency from time-to-time, the sexual spark remains alive.
In truth, the answer to the question of what makes a good relationship can be summed up as nothing more complex than sexual attraction. Without sexual attraction, a good relationship is not going to begin, and without sexual attraction, a good relationship is not going to develop into a lasting relationship.
Keeping that sexual attraction in a long-term relationship brings us full-circle to the need for clearly defined male and female roles. If you want to know what it feels like to be in a relationship that’s better than good, you need to know how to be seen as a real man in your woman’s eyes. When you’ve got that, sex will always be high on your woman’s priority list.
Is Compromise the Key to a Good Relationship?
In any discussion over what makes a good relationship, you’re sure to hear the word “compromise” banded about! So isn’t that what it’s really all about?
Sure, there’s going to be an element of compromise on both sides in a healthy relationship, but when constant compromises are needed to “keep the peace” and one person seems to be doing all the compromising, then that person is no longer being true to themselves and they are not in a relationship that’s good for them.
As a man, if you want your relationship with a woman to be successful, what you really need to do is focus on deepening the love, respect and attraction that she feels for you over time. You also need to ensure that the relationship gets through all of the initial stages to eventually reach the point where there is absolutely no need or desire to break up…