There are many signs that might suggest your wife is having an affair, but they don’t always mean that she actually is doing it.
For example: She might have suddenly started to return home from work sometimes without her wedding ring on.
You might worry that it’s a sign she is having an affair and taking it off when she’s with her new man, but in reality, it could just be that she is bored of wearing it, wants a better ring because she’s embarrassed of her ring compared to those of her co-workers or is starting to outgrow the ring because she has put on some weight.
Of course, her not wearing the wedding ring could mean that she is having an affair. The only way you can know for sure is to get more clues.
Some obvious clues, which may just be innocent and might not mean that she is having an affair, include:
- Suddenly spending a lot more time trying to look pretty, but not actually caring what you think.
- Regularly going out for a girl’s night out with single girlfriends from work and coming home very late, smelling of alcohol and not ever being in the mood for sex with you.
- Spending a lot of time texting on her phone, but always making sure that you are unable to see who she is texting or what she is writing.
- Suddenly putting a pin lock on her phone to keep you out, even though you haven’t accused her of anything and have simply attempted to have a quick look at her messages because you think something is up.
- Her being unable to maintain eye contact with you when you ask her why she is home late, how the girl’s night out went or why she is putting so much effort into her appearance all of a sudden.
Why Are You Suspecting Her of Having an Affair?
If you are a man who looking for information on how to know if your wife is having an affair, the real question that needs to be answered first is, why are you looking for this info?
What has happened to raise your suspicions and make you feel worried that she might be sleeping with another man? What has happened to make you feel as though your wife might now be having an affair?
The chances are, you’re asking because you have been experiencing troubles in your relationship that you just can’t seem to fix.
It might be that something about your wife’s behavior or attitude towards you that has changed, or perhaps she has lost interest in sex with you, but it’s only by figuring out why you have concerns that you can really get to the bottom of what is going on and why.
Mistakes to Avoid
How to know if your wife is having an affair is one of those queries that points to you potentially having some evidence to suggest that she is, but jumping to conclusions without any real evidence is a mistake that must be avoided.
If something about her behavior has raised your suspicions and sparked an idea in your mind that she might be having an affair, then it’s quite possible that your subsequent behavior may make things worse between you and her.
For example: Let’s say your wife has started to go out with her friends more frequently than before. Until recently, she met up with her girlfriends a couple of times per month, but lately she’s been organizing outings a couple of times a week.
Instead of finding your own things to do when your wife is away, you may have been sitting at home on your own feeling “left out” and your mind has started to go into overdrive as a result.
You’re now questioning whether she might be having an affair because after hanging out with her friends, she always says that she’s too tired for sex. Your suspicions and insecure feelings cause you to seek regular reassurance from her that she still loves you and isn’t thinking of having an affair or having one already.
Unfortunately, approaching her in an insecure way and asking her about or accusing her of having an affair will only create more problems between you.
If you and your wife are able to talk about serious issues like that in an easy-going, light-hearted way and are able to have a laugh about it, then it won’t be a problem. However, if the communication between you is more serious and insecure, then expressing your fears about her potential infidelity isn’t going to go down too well.
If she isn’t having an affair, but you are convinced that she is and you become needy, insecure and over-protective as a result, she is going to lose touch with her feelings of respect and attraction for you.
She will then begin to feel suffocated by your neediness, causing her to look for more opportunities to do her own thing out with the relationship…and so a vicious cycle begins.
Who or What is to Blame For the Current State of Your Marriage?
If you suspect that your wife really is having an affair, then something about your attitude or behavior in the marriage may have caused her to lose respect for you, lose attraction for you and begin to fall out of love with you as a consequence.
Of course, it may not be all your fault. If she is having an affair, it could also mean that she is a woman of bad character and despite saying, “I do” on your wedding day, she always knew in the back of her mind that she would be open to having an affair or divorcing you if she was no longer happy.
Yet, if your wife is the type of woman who really believes in marriage and has been loyal to you all the way, then her desire to have an affair may come down to your lack of ability to deepen her love, respect and attraction for you over time.
Most guys don’t get taught how to create and maintain the ideal relationship dynamic with a woman and simply try to guess their way through it. In the past, this was absolutely fine because a woman had to stay with a man for life.
Back in 1900 for example, divorce was still taboo (the divorce rate was less than 10% across the developed world) and even if a wife was unhappy, she had to stick by her promise of “Till death do us part.”
In today’s world, a woman can get up and leave if she wants to. The society around her will support her and even encourage her actions if she is leaving an unhappy marriage with a man who is unable to make her feel the way that she really wants to feel.
For example: A lot of men unknowingly cause their wife to lose respect and attraction for them by slipping into the false belief that women are happier in a relationship when they’re put in the position of “wearing the pants.” This is a mistake on many levels, but not least because it leads to a wife seeing her husband as a weak, wimpy and sexually unattractive man.
Women are naturally attracted to men with alpha male qualities. Alpha males are confident, masculine men who are natural leaders in life and in a relationship. Regardless of how intelligent or successful a woman is with her career, she will almost always prefer to be with a man who takes on the role as the more dominant one in the relationship.
That doesn’t mean she wants to be bossed around, corrected and control, but instead that she wants to relax into the feminine role. In other words, she wants to be your woman and to be able to look up to you as her man. She wants you to be the strong one, the pillar of strength in her world and the man that she feels excited and proud to be in love with.
If a wife feels her husband is taking a back seat and putting her into the driving seat of the marriage, it doesn’t make her feel happy. She might like the feeling of control for a while and get off on bossing her husband around, but she will eventually grow tired of it because it will cause her to think less like a feminine woman and more like a logical, masculine man.
When the relationship dynamic makes a woman feel less feminine, the all-important sexual dynamic that is needed to keep a relationship on track is knocked out of balance. To keep the sexual spark alive, there needs to be a clear masculine/feminine dynamic.
Being 50/50 is being neutral and doesn’t create a sexual charge. Likewise, putting your wife in charge and asking her to be the strong, masculine one will ruin her feelings of sexual desire for you when she notices that she is stronger than you.
When this happens in a marriage, a wife may begin to notice the exciting affairs that other women in TV sitcoms are having and feel attracted to how masculine the men that they have affairs with always seem to be.
If you’ve ever seen an affair play out in a TV drama show, the man will always make the woman feel like a feminine, sexy woman. This is not a coincidence.
Additionally, if a woman feels like something is missing in her romantic life and she hears her work colleagues or friends discussing their sexy affairs, she may become open to the idea of straying and looking for the excitement of an affair herself.
She might have started out as a trustworthy, loyal wife who was committed to the idea of only being with you for life, but if you’ve been taking her love, respect and attraction for granted, she may have become open to exploring new ways of feeling happy.
Can You Fix the Troubles in Your Marriage Before it’s Too Late?
The good news is that human emotions are not fixed in a permanent state.
If your wife is currently feeling unsatisfied by the way that you make her feel, it doesn’t meant that you can’t change that.
When you learn how to bring the qualities that first attracted your wife to you back to the forefront and then focus on creating create the ideal relationship dynamic between you, then you have a great chance of fixing the troubles that you’re having in your marriage.
Do you know how to trigger your wife’s feelings of respect and attraction for you? Do you know how a woman’s attraction for a man really works?
Watch this video to understand how you can use attraction to get your wife to forget the idea of having an affair and fall back in love with you…
If you feel as though you haven’t yet lost your wife to another man, you should really think about switching your focus from, “How to know if your wife is having an affair” to “How to be the type of man that a woman feels more attracted to, respectful of and in love with over time.”
When you have what it takes to rekindle the deep love, respect and attraction that she felt for you when you got married, you will have what it takes to get your marriage back on track.