If you see a woman that you consider to be beautiful and you find her very attractive, do you have the confidence and know how to walk over and talk to her and pick her up?
If you answered no, don’t worry.
Most guys don’t have the confidence to walk over and talk to beautiful women and then pick them up.
For most guys, the very thought of approaching a woman makes them feel nervous, unsure and anxious, especially if they don’t know the woman or if she’s pretty.
The possibility of getting rejected is just too painful for most guys, so they usually end up avoiding it altogether.
When a guy doesn’t have the confidence to approach the types of women that he finds attractive, he’ll often start to feel a bit left out.
He’ll notice that his friends or coworkers have a beautiful girlfriend or at least a pretty girlfriend and they’re enjoying sex, love and relationships.
However, for him, he can’t even work up the courage to walk over and talk to the types of women that he finds attractive.
Yet, why do guys avoid approaching women that they find attractive? What’s really going on inside a guy’s mind when he feels fear before trying to approach a woman? More importantly, how can he overcome that fear so he can approach at will?
Common Reasons Why Guys Say They Don’t Approach
Whenever I ask guys why they’re afraid of approaching women, here are some of the reasons they come up with:
- What if she doesn’t want to talk to me?
- She might reject me and tell me to leave her alone.
- She might not be interested in a guy like me.
- I’m not good looking enough for her.
- She probably has a boyfriend.
- She might think I’m a weirdo and run away or something.
- People might think that I’m a stalker who is approaching her against her will.
- People might think that I’m desperate or lonely and assume that I’m going around approaching a lot of women.
- She might laugh at me in front of everyone and they might also begin to laugh at me.
- I don’t want her to think that I’m sleazy or only interested in sex.
- She probably likes guys who are taller than me.
- I’m not dressed well enough.
- She’s probably busy and will get frustrated because I’ll be wasting her time.
- I don’t know what to say to her.
- What if I say something and she makes a weird face at me?
- If I get rejected, I’m going to have to leave here and never come back because everyone is going to look at me and know that I’ve been rejected.
- I probably won’t be able to keep the conversation going or keep it interesting if I approach, so what’s the point of approaching?
Can you relate to any of those reasons as to why you don’t approach women?
Most guys can.
Most guys have a lot of reasons why they don’t approach women, but it all comes back to one thing and this is the secret to overcoming your fear of approaching women.
When you know how to actively make a woman feel sexually attracted to you as you talk to her, you suddenly stop fearing approaching women.
The fear goes away because you know that if you go over and talk to a woman, she’s going to feel some or a lot of attraction for you.
You are going to actively create a spark with her.
That is one of the main differences between the attraction that women feel for men and the attraction that men feel for women.
For us men, we can feel instantly attracted to a woman based on her physical appearance.
We can have the motivation to want to talk to her, get to know her, have sex with her and begin a relationship with her simply based on her looking physically attractive.
Some guys have higher standards than others and will reject a woman if she’s also not a cool person, she’s not intelligent enough, she’s not this or that, but the majority of guys feel enough attraction for a woman simply based on her physical appearance to be motivated to go all the way to sex and into a relationship.
That is how it works.
However, for women, they don’t feel the same type of motivation about a man’s physical appearance.
Although women can feel attracted to a man’s physical appearance, it isn’t the main motivation that they need to want to have sex and begin dating and start a relationship. Some women will choose a guy simply based on his looks, but those women are the minority.
The majority of women need to be able to feel sexually attracted to you while they talk to you.
What you are saying and doing, how you’re talking to her, how you’re behaving, how you’re responding to what she’s saying and what sort of personality traits that you’re displaying will determine how much attraction she feels for you.
So, if you’re talking to a woman and you’re being nervous and doubting yourself, she’s not going to be able to feel much attraction for you because women are turned off by the emotional weakness of men.
However, if you’re talking to a woman and you’re displaying confidence, you’re getting her laughing, you’re being charismatic, you’re being charming, she’s going to be feeling sexually attracted to you.
When a guy knows how to actively attract a woman during a conversation, he doesn’t fear approaching women.
He knows that he can’t attract all the women in the world. No guy can attract every single woman in the world and have every woman, but what a guy can do is attract most of the women that he meets.
You can actively attract most of the women that you meet while you talk to them.
When you have that ability, there’s no fear.
You know that you can walk up to a woman and she’s most likely going to feel some or a lot of attraction for you.
She’s only going to be a little bit motivated to give you her phone number and kiss you and have sex with you or go home with you that night, or go on a date with you, or she’s going to be very motivated.
She’s going be feeling very attracted and she’s going to want something to happen between you and her.
Do You Have the Skill That Gets Rid of the Fear?
So, two important questions that I have for you now are:
Do you know how to actively attract women during a conversation or do you talk to women and basically make them feel neutral or friendly feelings?
Do you try to get to know women and show them that you’re a friendly guy and show them how intelligent you are, or are you actually doing it the smart and easy way and making women feel sexually attracted and turned on by you during a conversation?
If you have the skill of being able to actively attract a woman during an interaction, the fear of approaching goes away.
I don’t mean that you kind of know how to attract women, or know a little bit about attraction, but can’t actually attract beautiful women and turn them on.
I mean that you really do know how to attract women and you can also trigger a beautiful woman’s feelings of sexual attraction for you as you talk to her.
If a guy can only make women that he’s not interested in feel attracted to him, then he’s still going to have a fear of approaching attractive women.
He knows that he just can’t get them to feel attracted, so the thought of approaching them makes him fear that he will be rejected…and he’s right. Beautiful women aren’t going to settle for guy who can’t even trigger their feelings of attraction.
They make the guy feel attracted, but he doesn’t even know what to say or do to make them feel attracted. That’s unfair to the women, so they reject him.
On the other hand, when you are one of the rare guys who can actively attract beautiful women during a conversation, there’s no need to feel fear any more.
Instead, you just feel excited and motivated to approach and when you approach, you attract and pick up women.
That’s how it works.
What you may have noticed is that some guys are able to walk up to a woman, start a conversation and sparks start flying back and forth between him and the woman immediately.
She starts to smile, giggle, touch him and she’s loving it. That’s because he’s making her feel sexual attraction.
On the other hand, if a guy walks up to a woman and he feels attracted to her physical appearance, but he’s just being neutral and friendly and just trying to get along with her and be nice and show her that he’s a good guy and he’s got good intentions.
The woman might like him as a person and she might think that he’s a great guy, but she’s not going to feel motivated to want to give him her phone number, have sex with him, kiss him, go out on a date with him because there’s no spark there.
If you think about some of the reasons why guys don’t approach women, you’ll realize that the core reason why is that he doesn’t actually know how to make her feel sexually attracted to him.
He feels sexually attracted to her, but he doesn’t know how to make her feel the same way.
For example: The reason of “What if she doesn’t want to talk to me?”
That reason immediately goes away because when a guy is able to actively make a woman feel sexually attracted and he starts an interaction with her, she does want to talk to him. She’s feeling sexually attracted.
Attraction gets her attention.
It opens her up.
It makes her interested.
It makes her want to talk to a guy.
If she’s a single woman, she’s going to want to find a boyfriend or a lover just as much as he wants to find a girlfriend or a lover.
She simply wants to be able to find a guy that makes her feel sexually attracted and that she can also get along with. Getting along with women is fairly easy after you make them feel sexually attracted.
However, what most guys do is they walk up to a woman and they try to get along with her in a friendly, easygoing, nice way and they hope that they can grow on her or somehow impress her by being really nice and showing her how intelligent they are, or by talking about their ambitions at work and talking about their car or the car that they want to get and hopefully trying to impress her that way.
What these guys don’t realize is that it’s very simple and instant if you can just start making the woman feel sexually attracted while you talk to her, if you can trigger those feelings by displaying traits that naturally attract women.
Let’s have a look at one of the other reasons why guys say they don’t approach women…
“I’m not good looking enough for her.”
Most guys these days have that insecurity.
They see a beautiful woman and they think, “I’m not good looking enough for her” and simply give up and don’t even try.
What happens is that we feel so much attraction to a woman’s physical appearance that we think that she’s way more attractive than us. We feel an intense rush of attraction when we see a woman that we find physically attractive.
However, women don’t feel an intense rush of attraction for our physical appearance unless a guy is a really good looking guy.
The majority of guys are just average or below average looking.
I probably fit into the below average looking category. So for me, my physical appearance has never been striking enough to make women go, “Wow, look at him. Whoa, he’s hot. He’s sexy. I want to be with him.”
It just doesn’t happen.
However, I’ve managed to have sex with more than 250 women without having male model looks and without having to go to the gym and without having to wear expensive designer clothes.
I’ve done it by making women feel attracted to me as I interact with them.
For example: I’m displaying traits like being confident, funny, charismatic, charming, unpredictable, masculine, socially intelligent. These are traits that when you bring them into a conversation and interaction, they trigger feelings of sexual attraction inside of a woman.
Most guys don’t know that they can actively attract a woman during a conversation or they don’t believe it because it seems so simple.
Most guys want to believe that it’s all about being good looking and having loads of money because they see examples of that in the media and they hear women talking about, “Oh, I want a rich guy. I want to guy who looks like a male model. I want a celebrity or a guy that’s got a sports car and a luxury yacht.”
What most guys don’t realize though is that the majority of women have fake standards.
The majority of women just talk and talk and talk about what they want, but what they will actually happily accept is a completely different story altogether.
For example: A woman might say, “I don’t like bald guys. I like a guy with a full head of hair and a guy with six-pack abs.”
Yet, if a confident, masculine, bald guy without six-pack abs walks up, talks to her and makes her feel sexually attracted and turned on because he’s being confident, charming, charismatic, masculine and making her laugh, suddenly, she feels attracted to him and she starts thinking to herself, “What is it about this guy? I like this guy. There’s something about him.”
Then, she tells her friends, “He’s bald, but I like him. He’s sexy. I actually like that he’s bald.”
Suddenly she has a thing for bald guys.
The reason why is that the majority of women have fake standards and they usually try to talk about what’s going on in superficial modern culture.
You’ve got to have six-pack abs, a tan, big biceps, great shoes and you’ve got to have that haircut that’s cool now too.
Yeah, right, whatever.
The majority of women, including beautiful and pretty women, have fake standards and they are more interested in how a guy makes them feel during an interaction than what he looks like.
I’m not saying that an ugly guy can pick up every woman in the world, but what I am saying is that the majority of women will feel attracted to a normal average and even below average looking guy during an interaction if he makes them feel attracted in other ways by displaying personality traits and behaviors that naturally attract women.
So, if you do have a fear of approaching women and you want to overcome that right now, the secret is to begin making women feel sexually attracted to you while you talk to them.
Once you do that once or twice and you talk to a woman and you actively make her feel sexual feelings for you by the way that you’re talking to her and responding to her and behaving, your fear of approaching women will wither away.
There’s no point being afraid of something that you’re good at.
If you look up confidence in the dictionary, it’s about having belief in yourself and your abilities.
When you’re confident about approaching women, you’re not afraid of approaching women.
You know that you can walk over to a woman and make her feel attracted to you.
If you want to learn how to do that and you want to know exactly what to say and do when you approach a woman to instantly make her feel attracted to you and open and interested in talking to you, I recommend that you read my ebook, The Flow, or listen to the audio version, The Flow on Audio.
The Flow is the easiest way to get laid and get a girlfriend and when you either read or listen to The Flow on Audio, you’ll learn exactly:
- What to say and do to make women feel attracted to you when you start talking to them.
- How to keep the conversation going and keep it interesting, how to build on her attraction.
- How to make her want you more than you actually want to her.
- How to make her touch you.
- What to say to get her to kiss you.
- What to say to get her to go home with you.
- What to say when you call her up on the phone.
- What to text her.
- How to get her out on a date.
- How to have sex on the first date or on the second date.
It’s the complete flow, the start to finish process and what you find is that it’s very easy as long as you start with sexual attraction.
When you start your interactions with women with sexual attraction and you build on her sexual desire for you, everything just flows from one step to the next.