If you’ve found yourself in a situation where you are saying, “I like this girl, but she has a boyfriend” here are 4 mistakes that you need to avoid…
1. Not seeing the truth
This special girl that really you like might have been flirting with you, been very friendly towards you and may have even given you the impression that she likes you or finds you attractive.
Yet, that doesn’t mean that she will leave her boyfriend for you, even if she is unhappy in her relationship with him.
Many women actively flirt with other guys when they’re in a relationship just to build up their self-esteem (i.e. she gets many guys hoping that they might score a chance to be with her and those guys then give her compliments, treat her well, do favors for her, etc), but she has no intention of leaving her boyfriend.
Of course, sometimes a woman will leave her boyfriend if the new guy is making her feel very attracted and she is bored of being in a crappy relationship, but if the girl you like hasn’t made it clear that she wants to leave him for you, then she’s most-likely just flirting with you to make herself feel good.
When a woman is in a relationship, she will also sometimes flirt with another guy to boost his confidence because she feels sorry for him that she doesn’t have a girlfriend or doesn’t get much attention from women.
A guy who doesn’t have many (or any) other options with attractive women will often confuse her friendly, innocent flirting to mean that she really likes him and is secretly trying to show him that she wants to leave her boyfriend for him.
He will then begin to daydream about being her boyfriend and will become fixated on stealing her away from her current guy, so he can have her all to himself.
Yet, here’s an important truth that you need to realize…
The truth is, when a woman really likes another guy and wants to leave her current boyfriend for him, she will tell him that directly or she will get herself into a position where she can kiss him (e.g. get drunk at a party without her boyfriend there, spend time alone at his place).
So, if this girl that you like hasn’t been trying to make any moves on you at all, then it’s unlikely that she wants to do anything more than enjoy a bit of friendly, innocent flirting with you.
The next mistake to avoid making when you like a girl who already has a boyfriend is…
2. Falling in love with her because you have no other options
No one can tell you who you can and cannot like.
If you like this girl, then it’s your right as a human being to like her and to like any other girl that you want as well.
However, if you are falling in love with this girl because you have no other options with women, then you’re going about life in a way that will lead to a lot of insecurity, heartache and confusion regarding women.
As a man, you must have the skill of being able to attract women at will so you can have your choice of women, rather than hanging around girls who already have a boyfriend and hoping that they leave the guy for you, or hanging around girls and hoping to get lucky one day if of them “gives you a chance.”
If you want to be happy as a man, you’ve got to be able to actively attract girls when you interact with them, so they then hope to get a chance with you. Not the other way around.
You can be the guy who gets all the girls or who gets the girl he wants, but you have to know how to trigger a girl’s feelings of sexual attraction for you when you interact with her in person.
So, let me ask you this question, “If you were able to attract 3 other beautiful girls and they all liked you, would you be trying to get this girl to leave her boyfriend?”
If you had 3 hot girls interested in you and shared a great connection with each of them, you would just leave this other girl alone to enjoy her relationship with her boyfriend, even if she is unhappy.
I mentioned the part about her being “unhappy” because most of guys who are in the position where they are saying, “I like this girl, but she has a boyfriend” also say that one of the main reasons he wants her is that he knows he could treat her better and make her happier.
The thing is, you probably are a really good guy and you probably would treat her nicer than her boyfriend.
However, even though the girl looks unhappy because the guy is a bad boy or a jerk, it doesn’t mean that she’s going to want to leave him for a sweet nice guy who is going to treat her like a princess.
Why? Most of the guys who want to save a girl from a bad boyfriend are the type who think that the secret to success with women is to be really nice to a woman and treat her like a princess all the time.
There’s nothing wrong with treating a woman nicely and making her feel special, but niceness cannot be the only basis of her attraction and interest in you.
Why? Women don’t feel sexually turned on, aroused and excited to be with a guy simply based on him being nice to her.
Watch this video to understand why…
If you want a girl to like you in a sexual, romantic way, you must be able to trigger her feelings of sexual attraction for you, rather than just making her experience friendly feelings for you.
To trigger her feelings of sexual attraction, you simply need to display some of the personality traits, behaviors and inner qualities that women are naturally attracted to in men.
For example: Confidence, charisma, masculinity (how you think, feel, behave, take action) that makes her feel girly in comparison to you, charm, humor.
If you’re only offer to this girl is to treat her nicer than her boyfriend currently does, but you don’t even know how to make her feel sexually attracted and aroused by you when you interact with her, then she’s not going to feel compelled to leave him for you.
The next mistake to avoid is…
3. Being the guy who steals another guy’s girlfriend, even though you’d hate it if a guy stole your girlfriend
If you don’t have many other options with women, you probably don’t really care about whether or not people are going to think you’re a bad person for stealing her from another guy.
You’re attracted to her, you feel horny and you want to have her all for yourself so you can have sex with her, love her and treat her well.
So, you probably don’t really care if anyone tells you that it’s the wrong thing to do to take another guy’s girlfriend, but you should at least stop for a moment and think about how you’d feel if another came along and stole your girlfriend from you.
You’d really hate it if another guy stole your girlfriend from you, right?
It would piss you off and most-likely break your heart if she dumped you and left you for the new guy, or if she cheated on you and then left you for him.
So, do you think it is fair to try and take another guy’s girlfriend?
I know, you probably don’t care how he feels and you just want her. In your mind, you might think that she’d be so much happier in a relationship with you.
That actually might be true, but if you’re only focused on getting her because she’s the one pretty girl who is nice to you, then you’re probably just fooling yourself into thinking that she’s the perfect girl for you.
If other hot, single girls were attracted to you and interested in you, it’s almost guaranteed that you would forget this current girl and hook up with one of the other hotties.
Then, if the girl you liked became single, you would be much less interested in her if you were already in a loving, sexual relationship with a new hot girl.
Here’s the thing…
As a man, if you want your dating and relationship life with women to get better and better over time, you’ve got to be able to attract girls by choice, rather than trying to sneak in the backdoor and steal another guy’s girlfriend just because she is being nice to you.
So, be completely honest with yourself right now and answer this question, “Are you only interested in her because you’ve got no other options with attractive girls?”
If the answer is yes, then you’re going to be so much happier in life if you can just spare a moment to understand how to attract other girls, rather than going to through life trying to steal women that are already in a relationship with another guy.
Watch this video to understand how a girl’s attraction for a guy works…
If you had the kind of attraction skills that I talk about in the video above, you would have so many other girls interested in you right now.
Of course, there’s nothing wrong with you liking this girl who has a boyfriend, but if you’re only focused on her because you can’t attract other pretty girls, then you’re going about life in way that will lead to unhappy relationships and break ups because you won’t even know how to build on a woman’s attraction, respect and love for you over time.
You might be able to get a woman into a relationship initially, but if you don’t know how attraction really works, you will probably be another addition to the approximately 50% of relationships and marriages that end in a break up or divorce.
You don’t have to live a crappy life like that. You can have your choice of girls and choose a girl who you are madly in love with and she is madly in love with you.
Of course, you might be thinking, “That sounds good, but I want this girl that I like.”
Believe me, you are going to much prouder of yourself, much happier and live a much better life if you can attract women on your own, rather than having to hang around a taken woman and hope to grow on her so you can steal her away from her boyfriend.
4. Wasting time waiting on the sidelines when you could easily have other women in the meantime
If you really like this girl and believe that she is the one for you, there is nothing wrong with you waiting until she breaks up with her boyfriend, especially if their relationship doesn’t look like it will last.
However, if you are waiting around for her for 6 months to a year or even more and you’re not enjoying sex and love with other women, then you’re wasting your precious lifetime and you will also look less attractive to her anyway.
Women are more attracted to guys who have other women interested in them.
The more women who are interested in you, the more attractive you will seem to other women.
Seeing that other women like a guy is an important part of how women rate a guy’s value.
Guys often see that as weird, silly behavior from women because they don’t know that women feel attracted to men for different reasons than men feel attracted to women.
A man doesn’t need to see that many other guys are interested in a girl before he feels sexually attracted to her, because a man’s attraction for a woman is mostly based on how she looks.
This is why men will look at women and have a “Yes” or “No” response ready about whether they’d have sex with her.
Yet, women will say, “Well, he looks cute, but I’d have to meet him first” because women place less importance on looks and more importance on how a man’s personality, behavior and inner qualities makes her feel.
That does not mean that women cannot feel attracted to a man’s looks, but most women place more importance on how a guy’s personality, behavior and inner qualities make her feel.
For example: His confidence, the way his masculinity (how he thinks, feels, behaves, talks, takes action) makes her feel feminine, his charisma, etc.
So, What Are You Going to Do About This Girl?
It’s up to you what you want to do.
No-one can tell you that you’re wrong or a bad person for liking a girl who already has a boyfriend.
You can’t help feeling attracted to the kind of girls that you want.
However, my advice to you is this: If you are only focused on her because you don’t have any other options with pretty girls, then you should improve your ability to attract girls so you at least have some fun in the meantime while you wait and hope that she leaves her boyfriend one day.
It’s much better to approach it that way because when this girl that you like notices that other women are attracted to you, she will actually become more interested in you.
If she wants to leave her relationship one day, then you are going to be at the top of her list of guys that she is attracted to and hoping to hook up with.
In the meantime though, if she is happy in her relationship, I would suggest that you just leave her alone because although you might not care right now (because it’s not you who is having a girlfriend stolen from you), you would care if another guy was trying to do that to your girlfriend.
The truth is, you can attract so many other pretty girls and have your choice of girls, rather than having to steal another guy’s girlfriend.
Of course, it’s up to you what you want to do.
What do you think you should do?
- Continue to pursue her and try to get her to leave her boyfriend.
- Attract and hook up with other hot girls in the meantime.