There are five stages of a relationship between a man and a woman.
- Lust and romance.
- Power struggle.
- Blissful love.
Unfortunately, most couples only get to stage two, and then they break up.
Some couples get to stage three and four, but they’re not really happy. They feel more like friends, and there’s no sexual spark, and the woman or the man is thinking of maybe leaving, and trying to find someone else.
The real prize of a relationship between a man and a woman is to get to the fifth stage, the blissful love stage.
When you reach the blissful love stage of a relationship, the love, respect, and attraction that you and your woman feel for each other deepens over time.
You feel sexually attracted to each other for life.
You’re in love with each other for life.
You respect each other for life.
You have an amazing relationship and you’re one of those couples that people look at and think, “How do they do it? Why are they so happy? Why don’t I have what they have?”
The Stages, How Each One Works and Where Couples Go Wrong
So, let’s have a look at each of the stages of a relationship and I’ll explain how it works, where couples go wrong and what you need to do to get to stage five where you experience blissful love and you want to stay together for life.
Number one, lust and romance.
1. Lust and Romance
This is where you feel very sexually attracted to each other at the start and you fall in love, which is different to true committed love at the blissful love stage of a relationship.
In stage one, you don’t really care about each other’s faults.
You just want to be together, have sex and enjoy each other’s company.
According to scientists, at this stage of a relationship, natural chemicals are released in the brain to make a couple want to be together, have sex, and stay together long enough for offspring to be created.
So, in the lust and romance stage of a relationship, which is otherwise known as the dating phase, the man and woman will experience a dump of natural chemicals in their brain; chemicals like dopamine, oxytocin, phenylethylamine, and norepinephrine.
The thing is most Hollywood movies show this stage of a relationship as being the peak of a relationship.
The couple is happy, they kiss, they walk off into the sunset, they’re so happy together, and everything is just great.
They’re having sex, and they’re in love and they’re going places together. It’s all fantastic and Hollywood movies show that as the peak state of a relationship.
So, for a lot of couples these days, when the first stage of a relationship starts to calm down, they begin to wonder, “Hang on, is this the right person for me? I’m not feeling the way I used to feel about her, and she’s not behaving the way that she used to behave. She’s not looking at me in the same way as when we were dating. Does that mean that we’re not a match?”
As a result, a lot of couples break up after the lust and romance stage starts to calm down. The main reason why is that they don’t know that there are different stages to a relationship, and that they can eventually get to blissful love.
The next stage of a relationship is the power struggle.
2. Power Struggle
This is also where a lot of couples break up because a man will be shocked to realize that his woman isn’t behaving in the same way that she used to.
She was so nice and sweet to him at the start, but now she’s arguing with him, throwing tantrums, and trying to get her way all the time.
When a guy is faced with that situation, he will sometimes make the mistake of gradually giving his woman too much power.
The more power he gives her and the more he tries to suck up to her and do whatever she wants, the less respect and attraction she feels for him.
Some couples can stay together for a long time if the man hands over his power to the woman. However, what happens is that she loses respect for him and gradually stops feeling attracted to him, and then falls out of love with him.
To get past the power struggle stage, you need to make sure that you are in the position of power.
What a woman really wants is for a man to be in the position of power (even though she will rarely, if ever admit that in public because she doesn’t want men to get the wrong idea and start bossing her around and thinking that it will make her want sex or a relationship).
Even though a woman does want a good man who treats her well, she doesn’t want a push-over guy who does whatever she wants. She wants a man that she can look up to and respect.
Okay, so the third stage of a relationship is the working stage of a relationship.
This is where the relationship is working.
Let’s assume that a man was able to get past the power struggle stage with his woman and he’s in the position of power.
They’re in love with each other and the relationship is working.
A lot of couples do get to this point, but this is also where a lot of couples break up.
What happens is that over time, they start to become more like friends. They don’t put in the effort anymore to make each other feel attracted and they start to take each other’s love, attraction and commitment for granted.
The relationship then goes from working to boring, and then to falling apart.
Either the man or the woman will start thinking about cheating or leaving because they just don’t feel like they’re in love anymore.
The man doesn’t feel much attraction for her.
She doesn’t feel much attraction for him.
They’re just kind of like friends, roommates, housemates and it’s quite boring.
That’s not a fun type of relationship. It’s not the blissful love type of relationship that you experience at stage five.
The fourth stage of a relationship is commitment.
So, let’s assume that the man was able to get past the power struggle stage, he got the relationship to working and they remained in love.
The love, respect and attraction between him and her started to deepen.
So, it wasn’t fading away. The spark wasn’t dying out. The spark was still there. They were still in love and it was starting to deepen.
At that point in a relationship, it makes total sense to the man and the woman to commit to each other.
What most couples do at that point is they either commit to having a relationship and staying together for life but not getting married, or they get engaged and married.
If they haven’t already moved in together, they do that. If they’ve already done that, they start thinking about planning a family, and they work towards long-term mutually rewarding goals.
Unfortunately, though, many couples also break up after the commitment stage.
When they first moved in together or they got engaged, or they got married, it all felt great. However, over time, the relationship started to fall apart.
For example: The man started to cause his woman to lose respect for him by getting into arguments with her all the time and creating stress in their relationship.
Alternatively, he may have become clingy, and needy, and controlling, and caused her to lose respect and attraction for him as a result of that.
What happens in a lot of relationships is that once a man has gotten his woman to move in with him, or get engaged, or get married, he slowly changes how he treats his woman.
In the first stage of the relationship where they were going through lust and romance, he may have taken her on lots of dates, and they may have gone to the movies, and done all sweet things like that.
When the relationship was working and he got her to commit to him, he was most likely still on his best behavior, treating her well, and keeping the relationship together.
However, after she committed to him and moved in with him, he gradually started to take her for granted.
Unlike in the past where a woman would stay with a man for life because it was shameful to break up or get divorced, in today’s world, women are free to break up with or get divorced from a man.
So, to keep a relationship together for life, you’ve got to make sure that you get it to the fifth stage, blissful love.
The final stage of a relationship that lasts for life is blissful love.
5. Blissful love
This is the ultimate prize of a relationship between a man and a woman.
It’s the ultimate reward.
This is the best part of a relationship that you can ever experience, where you finally reach what people refer to as true love.
From that point onwards, you then experience lifelong happiness together as a couple where you enjoy spending time together, cuddling, kissing, having sex, and achieving long-term mutually rewarding goals together.
Getting to the blissful love stage of a relationship also prevents both you and her from wanting to cheat.
The idea of cheating or leaving each other for someone else seems like the dumbest idea in the world because you’re so in love.
You enjoy each other’s company so much.
You’re sexually attracted to each other even though you’ve been together for years or decades.
You just feel great around each other and you’re achieving mutually rewarding long-term goals together. So there’s no point going anywhere.
The thing is, women know how difficult it is to find a man who has the ability to get a relationship to that stage and keep it at that stage.
So, she doesn’t feel any motivation to want to cheat or leave.
She’s already got her perfect man.
There’s nothing that she needs from other men; she’s getting it with you.
The type of love that you experience at the blissful love stage of a relationship is different and arguably, it’s way better than what you experience at the start.
What you experience at the start of a relationship is enjoyable. It’s fun. You get all that brain dump of chemicals, and you want to be around each other all the time, but the same thing applies at the blissful love stage of a relationship, yet it’s a little bit different.
What happens is that both you and her experience what I call love attraction.
Love attraction is where both you and her feel completely attracted to each other even though you’ve been together for years or decades, and even though you may have gotten some wrinkles, put on some weight, lost some weight, you don’t have the muscles that you used to, she doesn’t have the shapes that she used to.
None of that matters.
You’re totally attracted to each other, and you might have seen that in action when you’ve observed older couples who are still madly in love even though they’ve been together for decades.
They still hold hands, they cuddle, they kiss, and they look at each other with loving eyes.
That is what happens when you get to the blissful love stage of a relationship and you keep it there.