According to a study carried out in Norway, divorce rates are 50% higher among couples who share the housework compared to those in which the woman takes most of the responsibility.
So, does this mean that if a man does housework his relationship is doomed to failure? No, it’s not that simple. There's nothing wrong with helping out around the house every now and then; the problem is when you spend too much time cleaning and not enough time becoming a bigger and better man by going after your true purpose in life.
If you could be a much more successful man or if you have big dreams, but you waste a lot time doing cleaning because you're too afraid to go after them, then the woman will pick up on that. When she sees that you're more comfortable taking on the role of the one who keeps the house clean, it will naturally cause her to feel confused about who is leading who.
Additionally, if she feels as though you're hiding from the world behind household chores when you could be achieving so much more as a man, it will make her lose respect for you. When a woman loses respect for a man, she then begins to lose attraction for him and when that happens, she begins to fall out of love.
Researchers believe that the connection between housework and divorce rates has much more to do with a general shift in attitude towards relationships than arguments over whose turn it is to take the bins out or whose turn it is to cook. In Norway, it’s has become the norm for both parents to share child-rearing responsibilities, meaning that both parents have equal opportunity to go out to work and it’s because of this that divorce rates have changed.
Working women are no longer dependant on their man’s income to support the household, so divorce is an “easier” option compared to past generations when the woman traditionally stayed at home and based her life around being a mother who cooked, cleaned and took care of the children and her husband's needs. These days, women are encouraged to “have it all” by taking on a big career as well as a family.
When a woman like this finds herself in a relationship with a man who gives her too much power and is unable to be the man in the relationship, it is destined for divorce or a lifetime of bickering, unhappiness and a non-existent sex life.
Women’s Work Vs. Men’s Work
Researchers make the point that sharing the housework is a by-product of both parties going out to work and both being the breadwinners. However, just because “everyone is doing it” that doesn't make it the right thing to do. History has repeatedly shown us the silly ideas of generations past, which at the time, seemed like the right thing to do.
The fact is, sharing the housework evenly leads to a relationship without clearly defined roles and this can lead to domestic squabbles over who should be doing what around the house. Relationships don’t fall apart because a guy likes to be a good man and help out with the vacuuming every now and then; they fall apart because the relationship dynamic is wrong. When the dynamic is right, a woman feels good about taking care of her man and taking care of their home, and a man feels good about taking care of his woman by taking care of the household chores that she’s not able to tackle on her own.
She wants to take care of you and your home and she wants you to take care of her. It might seem old fashioned to refer to housework as “women’s work,” but when the relationship dynamic is right, she wants to be a woman and to do the things that women are good at doing because she wants you to be “the man” and to do “manly” jobs around the home. She doesn’t want you to get involved in helping her to pick out new soft furnishings or to confuse things by forgetting to sort out the colours from the whites before loading the washing machine, but she does want you to fix the leaky tap in the kitchen.
She wants you to look after her and protect her by keeping your home in good repair and she wants to look after you by making your home a beautiful and comfortable place to be. If you buy into the stupidity of unhappy modern couples who are headed for break ups or divorce, then you are asking for trouble. Just because a lot of men are behaving like housewives, that doesn't mean it is the correct way to approach your relationship. All you need to do is look at the divorce rates, especially with regards to the Norwegian study, to see that.
Is She Too Lazy or Too Tired to Do the Housework?
You don’t need to be living in a pristine home to be in a successful relationship. If you’re both happy to leave the housework to the weekend, there’s no problem, but if there are no clearly defined roles when the weekend comes, problems can arise when one person feels the other isn’t pulling their weight. When the relationship dynamic is right, she wants you to be impressed by her ability to do “women’s work” and to look after your home. If your woman has a lazy attitude towards household chores, chances are she has a lazy attitude towards you, which is your fault for one of two reasons:
- You've chosen the wrong woman and have accepted her because you were desperate to get any woman. You noticed that she wasn't the type to want to clean up, make food for you, massage you and so on, but you accepted her anyway because you wanted to put an end to your loneliness.
- You've allowed her to develop a lazy attitude towards you in the relationship. Instead of setting up the right relationship dynamic, where your woman wants to impress you by cleaning up, cooking for you and pleasuring you, the relationship is one where she is annoyed by you, does whatever she wants when she wants and isn't particularly interested in impressing you.
Don't Listen to the Politically Correct Advice Dished out on Morning TV
Have you ever seen those morning TV shows with the 2-3 hosts on a couch? All the colors are nice and bright, the hosts are all bright and cheery and everything is wonderful in happy TV land. Well, I like those shows for a few reasons, but I also hate them for the pain that they cause people.
The male hosts of the show will sit there and say things like, “Oh, I'll be cleaning up the garage this weekend in the hope that my wife gives me some extra attention!” or, “Well, if you want your wife to keep you awake at night, I recommend doing the dishes and giving her a foot rub before bed.” There's nothing wrong with cleaning up the garage, doing the dishes or massing your woman. However, doing it because you think it will lead to more sex and better treatment from her is a mistake! Women HATE IT when men behave like desperate, little creatures who look up to women and hope that they will be treated nicely for being a good, little boy.
Personally, I'd like to smack those morning show people across the back of the head when they recklessly dish out such advice, because I know that millions of men are watching and thinking, “Ahh, that's what I'll do!” and when they use the “advice,” it ends up causing even more problems in their relationship and the woman loses even more interest in sex.
The Norway study is a perfect example of why you shouldn't listen to “morning show advice” or anything like it. Advice like that is politically correct, but functionally incorrect. It is the opinion of someone who is not an expert on relationships, attraction and sex. Oh, and if you ever hear an “expert” being interviewed on morning TV and giving out advice that men should do the housework, change the channel!
She Wants You to Be a Masculine Man. End of Story
All in all, a woman wants to be the woman and she wants you to be the man. When the roles become blurred, the sexual charge will weaken and may eventually be destroyed completely. If you want to learn how to set up and maintain the right relationship dynamic, where the sexual charge, love, attraction and respect GROWS rather than fades away, I recommend you watch The Modern Relationship. Then, more a more advanced education on the topic, I recommend you watch Better Than a Bad Boy.
If you don't yet have a girlfriend and want to learn how to walk up to women, start a conversation, keep it going, get a phone number (or kiss) and then escalate to a date or sex, I recommend you read The Flow. Then, more a more advanced education on the topic, I recommend you watch Dating Power.