If you’ve gotten to a point in your marriage where you have realized that your wife no longer respects you, the good news is that you can turn it around and regain her respect.
Here are 5 common reasons why a wife will lose respect for her husband and how you can turn it around:
Regardless of how confident or successful a man is in his working life, a woman still needs to be able to rely on him to be an emotionally strong man around her to be able to maintain her respect for him.
For example: If a woman’s husband is insecure about his looks (e.g. he is balding, has put on some weight, no longer has the athletic physique that he once did, is getting wrinkles, etc) she isn’t going to find that cute and endearing.
Instead, she will lose respect for him for thinking like a woman (i.e. thinking that the most attractive thing about him is his looks) when in reality, what actually maintains and builds a woman’s attraction for a man over time is how he thinks, talks, feels and behaves around her and in life.
For example: Has he remained emotionally strong, or has he become too emotionally sensitive over the years?
If a man is able to remain emotionally strong and secure in all areas of life, his wife will not only respect him, but she will also maintain her sexual feelings for him.
However, if a wife is unable to respect her husband, her feelings of attraction will begin to dwindle away and she will gradually fall out of love with him.
2. Lack of dominance
One of most common mistakes that men make in a marriage is to believe that the way to a happy marriage is to let his wife “take charge” and effectively “rule the roost.”
The reason why so many modern men go down that route is largely due to the way that “happy marriages” are portrayed on TV and in the movies.
More often than not, a married couple is shown to consist of a domineering wife and a meek, mild, “hen-pecked” husband who just goes along with whatever the wife wants because it keeps her happy and he can then enjoy a quiet life.
Many men see that version of “marriage” so often that they become conditioned to believe it is true.
Well, it’s not true if you actually want to be in a happy marriage in the real world.
So, let’s clear things up…
If your wife doesn’t respect you because you’ve fallen into the trap of letting her run the show, get her way all the time and essentially boss you around when it comes to sex, then you need to put a stop to it.
Being a dominant husband is not about becoming a domineering, selfish asshole who approaches the marriage with a “my way or the highway attitude.”
Instead, it’s simply about starting to laugh at her attempts to boss you around and lovingly guide her in the direction that you want, while also taking her opinion and ideas into account.
Of course, if your wife is used to having you under her control, she’s almost certainly going to test your newfound dominance by saying that you’re being mean, selfish, rude or anything else she can think of.
Simply smile, laugh at her in a loving way and tell her to relax and stop being a little Miss Bossy about everything.
Then, draw her in for a hug and let her feel your masculine dominance. Make her feel feminine and girly in comparison to your masculinity and she will not only gain a newfound respect for you, but she will also begin to have stronger sexual feelings for you as well.
Don’t get me wrong here…
I know how marriages work because I am married and I also help men via my phone coaching service every day to fix their marriages with unloving, dejected women, so I know that your wife will probably try to push you away when you try to hug her and make her feel lovingly dominated by your masculinity.
She will probably also tell you to stop interfering and let her run the show, if you try to take on a more dominant position in the marriage.
Just smile, laugh at her in a loving way and let her feel feminine and girly again by continuing to be a strong, masculine, dominant man when you interact with her.
Let her see, feel and experience your masculinity in the way you talk, move, think, behave and touch her. As long as you do it from a place of love, you are certain to get positive results from that type of approach.
I know that because I’ve taught it to many men and I also do it to my wife everyday. She knows who the man is around my house…and she loves it.
3. Lack of purpose in life
One of the best ways to maintain and build on your wife’s respect for you over time, is to have a strong sense of purpose in life.
In other words, you have big ambitions and dreams that you’re aiming towards as a man and that you’re continually making progress towards.
A mistake that many husbands make after marrying their wife, is to slowly slip into a mindset of accepting a mediocre life by coming up with excuses as to why they can no longer strive to do anything (e.g. busy with the kids, have to pay the bills, need to watch TV, etc).
For example: A man might be working in a job that he really doesn’t like, but he sticks with it to pay the bills and then comes home and complains about how crappy his job is and how hard it is to pay the bills.
Yet, he doesn’t really do anything to change it. He has big dreams and ambitions, but he has a list of excuses that he uses to explain why he can’t work on those goals.
Another man might be working in a job that he likes, but he doesn’t try hard enough to learn and develop into the kind of man who could land a promotion that would allow him to earn more money and become a more accomplished man that his wife could be proud of.
Outside of work, he might have some hobbies (e.g. riding bikes, fixing cars, flying model airplanes, working out in a gym, etc), but unless he has huge ambitions and dreams in the area of his hobby and he is continually making progress towards realizing the massive dream, then he is essentially just wasting his time like a boy or young man would who doesn’t yet know what his purpose is in life.
What makes a wife look up to and respect her husband is when she can see that he is rising through the levels of his true potential as a man, by reaching for his biggest ambitions and goals in life.
To have purpose in life is about big dreams and ambitions that span out 30, 40 and even 50 years into the future.
You don’t have to know exactly how you are going to get there, but you need to have a big dream and something that you’re aiming for that will lead you to becoming a bigger and better man that your wife can feel increasingly proud of over time.
If your dreams and ambitions are truly big ones, then you will definitely encounter challenges and obstacles along the way and it will be how you handle those moments that help to deepen your wife’s respect and admiration for you.
For example: If a husband is trying to fulfill his lifelong dream of owning a restaurant and then gives up a month after opening the restaurant, because he doesn’t know how to manage the staff properly, it will destroy his wife’s respect for him.
If she is a loving, caring, dedicated woman, she might feel sorry for him, but she will lose a tremendous amount of respect for him not being able to handle a simple challenge like that.
Rather than giving up, he should do what any other successful restaurateur or business owner does when they face new challenges: Learn.
The path to greatness in any area of life requires a man to be willing to learn what he doesn’t know, so he can then experience the next level of success in that area.
If he refuses to learn and develop as a man, it’s only natural that his wife will lose respect for him over time because he will increasingly feel like a burden to her rather than a benefit.
4. Lack of ability to make her smile, laugh and enjoy life with you
We all faces and challenges and obstacles throughout life and it is how you handle those moments that will either deepen your wife’s respect for you or be another thing that eats away at it.
It’s very easy to fall into the habit of getting irritated and annoyed around your wife, but one of the most important lessons that you will ever learn about life is that you don’t need to take most things seriously.
You can if you want, but it’s only going to lead to stress, frustration and an unhappy marriage.
Of course, there are some serious things in life that need serious attention, but for the most part, there is always an opportunity to laugh, smile and be more light-hearted about anything.
For example: If a wife is doing the dishes and she drops a plate that then breaks into man pieces on the kitchen floor, a man who is easily irritated or annoyed might snap at her for wasting a good plate or ruining his favorite plate.
He might feel like snapping at her is the right to do if she has a habit of dropping things once in a while, because he wants her to take more care and never make that mistake again.
Although it is an added expense to their budget to have to buy another plate or have to continue on with a set of crockery that is missing a plate, it’s not the end of the world.
Instead, it’s actually an opportunity for a husband to make his wife love and respect him even more. How?
He can laugh at her in a loving way and call her a clutz or a clumsy housewife and then spank her on the ass in a playful way.
She will most-likely tell him to help her clean up the mess and he can then laugh at her and say something like, “Clean up your own mess, you hopeless housewife.”
If he wants to, he can help her clean it up or he can walk away laughing about it.
If they are in the habit of laughing, smiling and being light-hearted about things, she will simply laugh and then clean it up herself.
She won’t take the comment of “hopeless housewife” seriously because she knows that her husband loves her, respects her, appreciates everything she does and more importantly, he always tends to joke around about things, so she knows that he’s not putting her down or being mean; he’s just joking around and helping both of them to feel happy in times when they could easily explode into a pointless argument that drives them further apart.
This is the type of easy-going, light-hearted, loving relationship that I have with my wife where we are able to say things to each other and not take it so seriously.
For example: She will sometimes poke fun at me for having a bit of belly, losing my hair and having wrinkles and I will poke fun at her for silly things she says or does.
Of course, if you are in the habit of getting irritated and annoyed at your wife, then you will need to develop a new habit, which will not happen overnight.
Human beings typically take 21 days of consistent, conscious effort to change a habit, but that doesn’t mean you need to get it done in 21 days.
If you are going to be developing a habit of being more light-hearted and easy-going about things and you won’t have the time to put in a consistent, conscious effort, then it may take you 2-3 months to develop the habit.
This is something that you should talk to your wife about and be easy on yourself about as well. After all, you don’t need to be too serious about things.
It doesn’t matter if it takes you 3 months to develop the habit of being more light-hearted, easy-going and willing to laugh about things when other people were able to get it done in 21 days.
If it takes you 3 months, simply turn that into something else that you can laugh about together.
5. Doing most or all of the housework
A common mistake that modern men make in marriages is to copy the fictional relationships they see on TV drama shows or sitcoms, follow the advice of politically correct TV talk show hosts and believe the advice from random articles online that are not written by male relationship experts who are actually in a successful, happy relationship with a woman.
For example: A common piece of advice hear or a storyline that you will see on TV is where the husband takes on a lot or all of the housework to impress his wife and hopefully gain her respect and get laid.
Yet, that is not it works in real life.
I say that it doesn’t work based on my expert opinion and on the basis of studies that have proven it to be inaccurate advice for men:
- A Norwegian study found that divorce rates were 50% higher amongst couples who share the housework, compared to marriages where the woman takes on the lion’s share on the work.
- An American study found that the frequency of sex decreased the more that a man took on the traditional role of a woman in the household.
I was recently coaching a man (via my phone coaching service) who had been married to his wife for 14 years.
His wife had lost respect for him and was no longer interested in sex. So, what did he do?
He did what pretty much everyone does these days when they need some help: He Googled it.
What did he find?
Rubbish articles written by politically correct women or wimpy men who suggested that he clean up the rouse, run her a bath, massage her feet and she would then be interested in sex.
Well, he clean up the house and made it absolutely spotless. He then offered to run her a bath and she didn’t want one. He offered to massage her feet and she accepted, but then wasn’t in the mood for sex.
So, does this mean that a man should never clean up, run his wife a bath or give her a foot massage.
Of course not.
There is nothing wrong with helping a wife to clean up the house every now and then, doing something romantic for her like running her a hot bath and tell her to call you into join her or giving her a foot massage.
Yet, that isn’t the path to a woman feeling the most amount of respect, attraction and love for her husband.
The truth is, a woman will only respect her husband more, feel more attracted to him and fall more in love with him if she already feels a lot of respect, attraction and love for him and he then does those things every now and then.
Why shouldn’t he treat her like that all the time?
Well, if he was what women refer to as a real man, he wouldn’t have time for that. He’d be rising through the levels of his true potential as a man to achieve his biggest goals and ambitions in life.
Of course, there is nothing wrong with helping around the house if your wife is extremely busy with her career, the kids and the cooking, but if she is that successful and you are also making progress with what you do, then you should work out some way to fit in a housekeeper or maid into your budget, even if they only come over once a week for an hour.
Rather than constantly cleaning up the house, your free time should be spent on relaxing and enjoying life and your wife, spending time with your kids if you have any and fitting in a bit of learning to help you grow and be more capable of achieving what you’re aiming to achieve in life.
If you can’t afford a cleaner to visit the house once a week, then you should look at things you can cut from your budget (e.g. some alcohol, some snack foods, some memberships, etc) to clear up some funds to hire a cleaner that will give take the pressure of the both of you.
If you still can’t afford that, you should help her out with the kids or do some cooking, rather than cleaning up and letting her sit on the couch watching TV or looking after the kids.
Essentially, the main thing you need to remember is this: Your wife will lose more and more respect for you if you attempt to suck up to her by taking on the role of a traditional housewife in the hope that it makes her happy.
Even though she might not be willing to admit it or may not have ever realized it, she will feel much more respect for you if you are rising through the levels of your true potential as a man, rather than spending most of your time helping her around the house.
Deepening Your Wife’s Love, Respect and Attraction Over Time
In the past, a woman would stay with a man for life even if she didn’t feel much respect, attraction or love for him because it was shameful to get divorced.
In today’s world, a woman is free to divorce a man that she is not happy with, so if you continue to destroy your wife’s respect for you as a man, you cannot expect her to stick around for life just because she said, “I do” on the wedding day.
These days, a woman will get up and leave if she feels as though her man doesn’t have what it takes to develop and become a bigger and better man over time that she can look up to and respect.