In today’s world, if you want to make a relationship with a woman last for a lifetime, you have to know how to deepen her feelings of love, respect and attraction for you over time.
In the past, a woman would have to stay with a man for life even if she wasn’t happy because it was shameful to get divorced. These days, if a woman isn’t happy in her relationship, the society around her tells her to move on.
Is She Still Attracted to You?
One of the main indicators of a happy relationship is the attraction that a couple feels for each other.
If your girlfriend doesn’t feel enough attraction for you, she will begin to wonder why she is even with you and may start to think about being with other guys.
As a man, you have to actively make women feel attracted to you based on how you think, behave and act around them. Although she might like the way you look or the job you have, if she doesn’t feel attracted to you in the deeper, longer lasting ways, then she will gradually begin to lose interest in being with you.
Have You Chosen the Right Woman?
Most guys don’t know how to actively attract women when they meet them, so they usually just try to make it work with a woman that they’ve gotten lucky with.
When you met your girlfriend, did you choose her over other many other women who were interested in you at the time, or was she basically the only option you had?
If you had no other options with women, it means that you got lucky with a girl who gave you a chance, rather than actively attracting women so you can have your choice of women and then choose the right one for you.
No woman is truly compatible with every man and no man is truly compatible with every woman. If you want a relationship to work without much effort and to always feel good, you have to start by choosing the right woman for you. Trying to make it work with a girl who really isn’t your type will usually end up in a break up.
Assuming that you’ve chosen the right girl for you, here are 5 signs that your relationship with her has a chance of going the distance…
5 Signs That Your Relationship Has Staying Power
1. You are free to be yourself
If both you and your girlfriend are free to be your true selves and you both love and appreciate each other for that, then it’s a very good sign that things will last. However, being forced to change your true self to fit into a relationship is a sure sign that it won’t last.
For a relationship to have real staying power, both the man and the woman should be able to see themselves as individuals who form into a great couple when they are together.
One of the main purposes of being in a relationship is so that you can be more, achieve more, experience more and feel more than you would on your own. However, that doesn’t mean you still can’t be your true self and retain your individual identity.
Both you and your girlfriend have to love and accept each other for who you are, while also trying to love, respect and care for each other better every day. As long as you are both committed to the idea of always trying to be better for the other person, while still being your true self, both of you will be happy together.
2. You are connected, but not joined at the hip
Couples with real staying power understand the value of spending quality time together. Having shared interests and common ground is an essential element of any successful relationship, making it possible to connect on a deeper level and to really understand one another.
However, doing everything together as a couple and having no independent hobbies or interests is a recipe for disaster. As a man, you need to have ambitions and life purpose that go beyond your relationship with her. Your life cannot be about her. If you make your life only about her, she will gradually lose respect and attraction for you.
A woman does not want to be your sole purpose in life. She wants you to stand up and rise through the levels of your true potential as a man. Fearlessly go after your biggest ambitions and don’t stop until you reach them.
If we don’t grow, we stagnate, and if we don’t grow as individuals in a relationship, the relationship is destined to stagnate and wither away into boredom, restlessness and feelings of resentment. Connected couples grow closer through having shared and separate interests.
3. You don’t take arguments too seriously
Happy couples don’t necessarily see eye-to-eye on everything.
There’s nothing with having the occasional argument, as long as you can bring it back to smiling and laughter when you get to the bottom of the issue. Both of you have to realize that you’re in this together and are not enemies.
You don’t win anything by beating each other in arguments or putting each other down, so you have to learn not to take arguments so seriously. Just see them as an opportunity to clear the air, clear up any misunderstandings and get back to loving and respecting each other as per normal.
4. You are secure in your love, respect and attraction for each other
As a man, you have to know how to deepen your woman’s love, respect and attraction for you over time. From there, you have to trust in her love, respect and attraction for you, rather than feeling insecure about it.
A lot of guys are fine at the start of a relationship, but as the months and years pass by and he notices that she seems to losing interest, a guy will often insecure, jealous, overly-protective or needy for her affection, attention and reassurance that she loves him and doesn’t want to be with other guys.
That is not the type of relationship dynamic you should be creating. Insecurity will only cause you pain and cause the woman to lose her feelings of respect and attraction for you. If the problem grows, she will eventually fall out of love with you.
5. You are both equally committed to the relationship
If only one of you is truly committed to the relationship, it will almost never last.
For a relationship to stay strong during tough times, both the man and the woman need to be truly committed to the idea of staying together for life no matter what. You can’t demand or request that a woman commit to you for life, you have to make her FEEL like she wants to by deepening her love, respect and attraction for you over time.
Just because a woman says, “I love you” or “I want us to be together forever,” it doesn’t mean that she can’t change her mind if she no longer feels that way weeks, months or years later.
The 3 Keys to a Successful Relationship That Goes the Distance
If you want your relationship to last you need to:
- Choose the right woman for you, rather than accepting whatever you can get and then trying to make it work.
- Create and maintain the type of relationship dynamic that women really want to be a part of.
- Deepen the woman’s love, respect and attraction for you over time.
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I have a question concerning my current relationship. My girl is great in many ways. Using your advice, I have been through the best weeks I’ve had in a long time! She’s showed in many HUGE ways how interested she is in me and I’m always thankful to her for it. There is however an issue I personally find unattractive of her. Being foreign and with few interesting friends around her, I sometimes feel overwhelmed by the fact that she just wants to spend time with me and that I always need to give her a reason not to be with her in my spare time. This past weekend, which included a public holiday Monday, I spent 24/7 with her! Was great and adventurous but now would like some time by myself and friends too and she sometimes gets upset by it, especially when I don’t tell her I’m doing something else besides be with her. I don’t believe I’m in the wrong here but would like your advice. I’m feeling overwhelmed and could eventually break up with her if she continues. Obviously, I’m trying my hardest not to let that happen, but one should draw the line don’t you think?
Thanks for your question.
Yes, this is what happens when you’re the type of guy that women have been looking for. Eventually, you will notice that pretty much any woman you start a relationship with will quickly become infatuated by you and want to be around you all the time. You’ll also get used to be telling your woman when you want your space to do whatever you want to do. At the moment, you’re probably worried about saying that because you’re just starting to have some success with women and don’t want to mess up and lose her.
Basically, you just have to tell her, “Hey, I’m going to do ________ tomorrow. I’ll see you in a couple of days.” She might get worried and ask you why you want to see her in a couple of days, rather than the day after you had something to do. Just tell her, “Don’t worry, everything is fine. I will see you then. Sometimes I like to have a day or so to myself to work on ____________”
Thanks for that Dan.
I decided some days ago to break it off with her. She got absolutely pissed off that I had a game of football with friends for 1 hour more than an estimated time I was going to be free for her. According to her, she gave up sleeping more + eating that day to plan stuff with me and I thought that was just too pressure and hassle for both of us. Needless to say I spent plenty of hours with her before that day. She just felt too clingy in my opinion, don’t find that attractive in a girl. The fact that she hung up on me out of anger made me draw the line permanently as I absolutely DETEST that lack of respect. Anyway, she’s 25 (I’m 23) so some have argued that she wanted too much commitment and I wanted minimal. That is most likely true so can I ask, should I consider dating girls younger than me? I’m keeping my hopes up at a long term relationship as flings hardly appeal to me.
Thanks again for your help mate, truly appreciate it at this confusing time.
You’re welcome mate.
The age of the woman isn’t the solution to that problem. You want a long-term relationship, but you don’t necessarily want to commit for life, right? Or, you want a long-term relationship, but you want the girl to be a little more independent and less clingy?
I’m 35 and my girlfriend is 20 and she’s perfect. However, her young age isn’t the reason why she isn’t pestering me about settling down and starting a family with her. All of my girlfriends before her were amazing (and aged between 18-23), but they all wouldn’t shut up about getting married, starting a family with me, etc. My current girlfriend understands that I love her, want to be with her, am committed to her, but don’t want her to bug me about that sort of stuff. We live together and she works during the day at a hair salon, while I stay at home working on The Modern Man. Despite how much time we spend with each other and how madly in love she is, she has the intelligence to know that I need to have my space to think (about The Modern Man) and work. She knows that if she wants to stay with me for life, she’ll need to be patient and allow things to unfold naturally. I don’t foresee any reason why her and I would break up because we’re perfect for each other, so it might be a lifetime relationship by the look of it.
What you need to do is simply find the right girl. One of the main reasons why the divorce rate is so high is that people “try to make it work” with the WRONG person. My girlfriend and I don’t need to try to make it work, because it just works. We’re perfectly compatible and I am enjoying that privilege because I wasn’t afraid to approach her, I attracted her effortlessly and escalated to sex and a relationship. I didn’t “take whatever I could get” like most guys do. I chose my girlfriend and that’s what you need to do if you want to enjoy a successful, mutually fulfilling and lasting relationship.
You are so lucky man! I’m assuming you didn’t settle for anything less than what you actually consider a beautiful and attractive girl. And to then have her desire you to such a high degree… Your problem was such a luxury-problem! 🙂 I’m just thinking “Wow… Is it really possible…?!?” Hopefully one day I’ll be able to have the same effect on women myself.
Thanks for adding to the conversation.
About what you’re hoping for: Watch this http://www.themodernman.com/videos/what-is-your-skill-level-with-women.html
i love her very much bt it seems is that type who loves me bt doesnt show it. Currently, she is abroad, we communicate bt her ways have changed. She takes long to call me and when i call, she tells me that she was almost going to call. Now does such a lover exist and how can i handle her cos i feel i love her so much that her to me which i see not good. Help me. Thanks
Thanks for your question.
Here’s the article for you: http://www.themodernman.com/dating/relationships/long_distance_relationship.html
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