When choosing a woman for a long term relationship, some of the decision-making is done automatically for you via your gut instinct and the rest is done by consciously thinking about it.
Initially, both a man and a woman act mostly on instinct and how they feel around each other. Then, as they spend more time together and have more time away from each other to reflect on how they feel, the decision-making goes from instinctive to conscious.
Yet, how do you really know if you've made the right choice by choosing your specific girlfriend out of the 100s of millions of other women you could have chosen? How do you know for sure if your relationship is going to last and be full of love, happiness, great sex and great times? Will it pass the test of time or will you be another statistic of divorce or a bad break up in years to come?
If you want your relationship to last, you need to choose the right woman, set up the right relationship dynamic and then MAINTAIN it so your love, attraction and respect for each other GROWS, rather than fades away. I'll talk more about that later. For now, here are 5 signs that your relationship has the chance of going the distance.
5 Signs That Your Relationship Has Staying Power
1. You are free to be yourself: It’s only by being your whole self, your true self and your real self that you can be in a relationship with serious staying power. Having to lose any part of your own identity to “fit” into a relationship is a sure sign that it won’t last, especially in the modern world where it is no longer frowned upon to break up if either person is unhappy.
Couples in long-term relationships often refer to each other as being their “other half,” but elite psychologists and bona fide relationship experts believe that for a relationship to have real staying power, both the man and woman must see themselves as individuals who form a complete relationship when they are together. One of the main purposes of a relationship is that you can be more, achieve more, experience more and feel more than you would on your own. However, that doesn't mean you still can't be your true self and retain your individual identity.
2. You are connected, but not joined at the hip: Couples with real staying power understand the value of spending quality time together. Having shared interests and common ground is an essential element of any successful relationship, making it possible to connect on a deeper level and to really understand one another. However, doing everything together as a couple and having no independent hobbies or interests is a recipe for disaster! Being free to be yourself and being free to “do your own thing” at times not only keeps things real, but it also allows you to keep growing as an individual. If we don’t grow, we stagnate, and if we don’t grow as individuals in a relationship, the relationship is destined to stagnate and wither away into boredom, restlessness and feelings of resentment. Connected couples grow closer through having shared and separate interests.
3. You can agree to differ on minor things: Successful couples don’t necessarily see eye-to-eye on everything! It’s not uncommon for couples to claim that they never argue about anything but, in reality, the fact that they have not argued yet suggests that when they inevitably do, it will cause a level of hurt and resentment that will be difficult to get over. All of sudden, insults and personal digs will come flying out in a back and forth attack on each other, “Well! You never clean up the kitchen! You always leave it messy! I hate it! It makes me sick!” The fact is, you should have told her about that already. Be honest with her! You should have also created the type of relationship dynamic where she LOVES keeping the place tidy to impress you. If you haven't, you're simply doing it wrong. So either learn how to do it right, or suffer the consequences.
Couples with staying power see eye-to-eye on the things that really matter in their relationship, such as their core values in life, but they also respect each other’s point of view on the things they see differently. Being able to respectfully resolve conflicts or agree to differ on issues that really aren’t so important in the grand scale of things, is part of what keeps a relationship on track. Never arguing suggests that someone in the relationship is not always being true to themselves and if you can't be honest with the ones you love the most, you'll be living a life of lies, frustration and resentment towards others.
4. You are secure: Feelings of insecurity or jealousy eat away at the fabric of the relationship, eventually causing a serious tear that rips it apart or leaves it seriously damaged. If one or both of you doesn't trust each other, if one is overly-protective or needy, then you are in a relationship that will eventually break up unless things change.
A lot of guys are fine at the start of a relationship, but as the months or years go on and he notices his woman losing interest, he begins to become insecure, jealous, overly-protective and/or needy for her affection, attention and reassurance that she loves him and doesn't want any other guys. That is not the type of relationship dynamic you should be creating! It will only cause you pain and cause the woman to want to cheat or dump you. If you want to know how to set up and maintain the right relationship dynamic, watch The Modern Relationship.
5. You are committed: Being truly committed to a relationship means being committed to making it work and not bailing out at the first sign of trouble. Relationships that go the distance are not guaranteed to be a bed of roses all the way, but when both you and your woman share a genuine intention to make your relationship work, you will be in a strong position to make your relationship one with real staying power.
The Keys to a Successful Relationship That Goes the Distance
As I mentioned earlier in the article, if you want your relationship to last you need to choose the right woman, set up the right relationship dynamic and then maintain it so your love, attraction and respect for each other grows, rather than fades away. Too many guys make the mistake of accepting “whatever they can get” when it comes to women, which in many cases means they choose the wrong woman.
If you are afraid to approach women you find attractive, or simply don't know what to say to start a conversation, get a woman interested and then escalate to a phone number, kiss, date, sex and into a relationship – I recommend you read The Flow. Unless you want to end up as another statistic of the high divorce rates out there, now is the time to learn what you need to know to attract women so you can have CHOICE. Don't just accept anything you can get and when you do find the right woman, make sure you also learn how to maintain the right type of relationship dynamic.
You'll learn a bit about setting up and maintaining the right relationship dynamic in The Flow. Then, if you want to learn more and get a more advanced education on the topic, watch The Modern Relationship and Better Than a Bad Boy.