If you’re out there meeting women and looking to find yourself a nice girl, you will often come across single mothers who are looking for a new man for love and commitment, a one night stand or just some casual sex for a while.
In the past, a single mother would be ashamed of her position in life and would have been shunned and even disowned by her family. In today’s world, being a single mother is considered normal and acceptable and an increasing number of men are becoming open to being in relationships with these women.
Are Single Mothers Easier to Pick Up Than Women Without Children?
If you know how to attract women, most women are easy to pick up.
However, there is usually a lot less competition to date and have a relationship with a single mother, because most men don’t want to end up paying to raise another man’s child or have to deal with the “other man” in her life.
Since a single mom has to spend most of her time taking care of her child(ren), she usually won’t have a lot of free time to spend hanging around clubs and waiting to meet a potential date.
If she’s like most single mothers, she has to plan her free time in advance around the schedule of her children, as well as find and pay for a trustworthy babysitter. So when a single mom does go out on the town, she is usually doing it with a purpose – find a man, fast! She knows that she may not have another opportunity for months.
This is not to say that all single mothers are an “easy lay” or desperately looking to jump into a serious relationship immediately. Many single mothers are intelligent, savvy women who just happened to accidentally get pregnant to a boyfriend, or who had a child with a guy who didn’t turn out to be the right man after all.
So, don’t look at these women as though they are any less special, smart of deserving of your respect than other women are. Single moms are usually just the same as other women, except they are plus one.
When you meet a single mother, the same rules of attraction apply (i.e. she will be checking to see if you are a confident, charismatic guy who would be a great boyfriend and lover or a nervous, shy or insecure guy who is just hoping to get lucky with any decent woman he meets).
Be Honest About Your Intentions
If you know that you’re only going to be interested in a fling or a one night stand and definitely don’t want to be saddled with the additional responsibility of paying for someone else’s child, it would be unfair to pretend that you’re a potential husband or father figure.
Single mothers really appreciate it when guys are honest about their intentions, as long as he still remains respectful. For example: If you only see her as a temporary lover for a while, you have to let her know that you’re not looking for a girlfriend.
At some point in the conversation, she will ask you, “So, do you have a girlfriend?” to which you can reply, “No…I don’t have a girlfriend at the moment. I’ve been really busy with work (or study) and I’m not really looking for a girlfriend right now…but, I do think you’re sexy though. You’re a very sexy girl.”
She will appreciate your discreet honesty and your ability to maintain the positive vibe between you and her. She will know that you’re a guy who will be open to having sex with her that night, but you probably won’t want to have a relationship.
Funnily enough, that will usually make her want to have a relationship with you even more. Why? Watch this video to understand why many women like a guy who is a challenge…
Don’t Pretend to Be Her Knight in Shining Armor…Unless You Intend to Be
A single mom will often meet guys who show a lot of interest in taking care of her and the children. The guy will act like a knight in shining armor and make promises to stick around and be a father figure for the children, only to then stop calling a week later after they’ve had sex with her a few times.
After she experiences that more than once, she will begin to raise her guard and feel suspicious of guys who seem too good to be true.
Unless you intend to really stick by her and help raise her children, don’t even touch that subject unless she asks you. If you’re unsure, simply say, “I don’t want to make any promises that I can’t keep. When I can promise you that, I will say it. For now, I just want us to get to know each other, maybe fall in love and see what happens.”
How to Know if She Wants a Relationship or Just Sex
If she talks about her children a lot, asks if you have children of your own or questions whether you want children someday, especially early in your conversation, chances are good that she’s looking for a husband/replacement father and is trying to weed out any men who won’t take on that role.
On the other hand, if she doesn’t mention her children until later in the conversation and acts as though she is single, then she’s probably just looking to have a one night stand or a casual relationship with you.
She might be interested in something more after that, but for now – it’s most-likely just about her getting some sexual satisfaction and experiencing the new love of a dating relationship.
Once you know her intentions and you have determined what you want, you need to make a move and take things to the next level. Most single moms are open to moving things along fairly quickly, so don’t waste too much time trying to get to know her.
Suggesting that a single mother come back to your place for a drink (or head to her house to let the babysitter go home) will result in a “Yes” more often than other women who aren’t in as much of a rush to find a guy.
If she says, “No” just remind her of how difficult it is for her to have free time like she has that night and suggest that she consider having some fun with you tonight. She will then be more likely to act on that suggestion and open herself up to having a one night stand with you.
Accept the Limitations
If you are interested in having a long-term relationship with a single mother, you need to accept that her availability will be limited. For instance, when you’re dating a single mother, last-minute dates (e.g. calling her up and saying, “Hey, get dressed – let’s go have dinner and watch a movie tonight”) are pretty much out of the question.
If you’re sincerely interested in her, you have to be willing to give her enough advance notice when you set up dates, so she can make arrangements to find someone to watch her kids. She also may have to cancel some dates with you unexpectedly (e.g. if one of her children is sick or needs her for something). If that happens, don’t take it personally.
Single mothers also tend to have a lot more additional expenses than other women, so you might want to offer to pay for a babysitter on some occasions. She might reject your generosity, but she will appreciate it and consider it very thoughtful that you offered.
Dealing With Her Ex
When in a relationship with a single mother, you will have to deal with an ex-boyfriend or ex-husband at some stage. After all, someone fathered her child.
The simple way to deal with her ex is to not see him as competition for her. You have to trust her 100% that she is broken up with him and doesn’t want to be with him. If you don’t give her your full trust and become insecure about her being in contact with him, it will actually make him seem more attractive to her.
As you get deeper into the relationship, her children eventually will become a part of your life as well.
If you can handle the fact that you’re not going to be the center of her world 100% of the time, then you just may find that the rewards of finding your perfect woman – baggage and all – is worth all of the extra effort you have to put into the relationship.
As a modern man, you can’t always look to your parents or grandparents as role models of how to plan your life with a woman. Things have changed and whether we like it or not, the world will continue to change. Dating a single mother was once taboo and now it’s normal. Who knows what will be normal in 20 years time.
So, if you like a certain woman – don’t worry what people think about her already having a child. Go with what makes you happiest because 20 years from now, people will most-likely be doing much wilder and more “out there” things than dating a single mother…
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