If you're over the age of 25, your chances are excellent that one or more of the women you might be interested in dating is going to be a single mother.
Getting a date with a single mother is usually a lot easier because most men don't want to have to pay to raise another man's child. So, you won't encounter as much competition as when you are meeting women who don't have any children.
Due to having to care for their child or children, most single mothers don't have a lot of free time to spend hanging around clubs waiting to meet a potential date. They have to plan their free time in advance around their children's schedules, as well as find and pay for a babysitter. So when they do go out, they're doing it with a purpose – find a man, fast! They know that they may not have another opportunity for months.
This is not to say that all single mothers are desperately looking to jump into a serious relationship immediately. Many of them are primarily interested in finding a sex partner to satisfy their own needs, whether it's through a one-night-stand or a man who is available for quick dates and/or booty calls when she has some free time. On the other hand, there are many single mothers who are, in fact, looking for a potential life partner and a stepfather for their children. Therefore, it's essential that you determine which category she fits into and what your intentions are with each single mother.
Be Honest About Your Intentions
If you know that you're only interested in a fling and definitely don't want to be saddled with the additional responsibility of dealing with and paying for someone else's children, it would be unfair to pretend to her that you're a potential husband or committed father figure. Single mothers appreciate your honesty more than you will know, so never put on an act – it’s bad news for both of you.
How do you figure out whether the single mother you've encountered wants a relationship or just wants sex? If she talks about her children a lot, asks you if you have children of your own or questions whether you want children some day, especially early in your conversation, chances are good that she's looking for a husband and is trying to weed out any prospective men who aren't looking for the same thing as she is. Conversely, if she doesn't mention her children until much later in the conversation and, for all intents and purposes, acts as though she is single, she's probably just looking to get laid. Once you know her intentions and you have determined what you want, you can take it from there. Suggesting a single mother join you at your place for a drink (or head to her house to let the babysitter go home) will result in a “Yes” more often than other women who aren’t in as much of a rush to get a result. However, if you do go to her home, just make sure that discreet and respectful in the presence of her child(ren).
If you are open to dating a single mother for a possible long-term relationship, you need to recognize that she will have certain limitations. For instance, when you're dating a single mother, last-minute dates are going to be pretty much out of the question. If you're sincerely interested in her, you have to be willing to give her enough advance notice when you ask her out to make arrangements to find someone to watch her kids. She also may have to cancel many dates with you unexpectedly if one of her children is sick or needs her. Don’t take it personally.
Naturally, single mothers tend to have a lot more additional expenses than unencumbered single women, so you might want to offer to pay for a babysitter on occasion. She may reject your generosity, but she'll consider it very thoughtful that you offered.
Dealing With Her Ex
With a single mother, there is a high chance that you will have to deal with an ex-boyfriend or ex-husband at some stage – after all, someone fathered her child. Whether you will have a personal interaction with him will depend on how serious your relationship becomes. When you get deeper into the relationship with the single mother, you should anticipate that her children eventually will become a part of your life as well.
If you can handle not being the center of her world and are secure enough and willing to deal with all that comes along with dating a single mother, you just may find that the rewards of finding the right woman – baggage and all – will be worth all of the extra effort you have to put into your relationship with her.
Dating a single mother is an increasingly common relationship set-up in the modern world, because most people don’t stay together ‘for life’ anymore. Marriage is on the decline, we’re living longer and it has become socially acceptable to have a "Baby Mama" (a woman who has your baby, but is not married to you or even in a committed relationship with you) or "Baby Daddy." This is the modern world. As a modern man, you cannot always look to your parents or grandparents as models of how to live life. Things have changed. So, if you like a certain woman - don’t worry what people think. Go with what makes you happiest, because 20 years from now – people will be doing much wilder and ‘out there’ things than dating a single mother.