How and when to first kiss a woman

Making out with girls in clubs is different to making a first kiss 'special' with a girl you're thinking of having a relationship with

For most women the first kiss you share is something that she’ll not only always remember, but it’s also something she’ll look to as an indicator of how well you’ll do romantically and sexually so you definitely want to get it right.

Unfortunately most guys instinctively understand this and that knowledge makes them panic so they either hesitate kissing a girl, avoid kissing her for as long as possible or are so nervous when they do finally kiss her that they do it badly and risk messing up a potential great relationship.

I’m here to let you know that you’re worrying unnecessarily and I’m going to explain how to kiss a girl in a way that ensures you will NEVER get rejected. I’ll also, explain how to know when a girl wants you to kiss her and how to do it so well that she’ll look forward to more kissing and even greater physical interaction with you. So, let’s kick into it.

Time and Place
You will definitely come across women that you’ll want to ‘maul’ quickly after meeting and she’ll be just as eager to have you kiss her even in the middle of a crowded bar (and I’ll give you some tips on those types of kisses a little later in the article). Yet, in general, these usually aren’t the women that you’ll have a long-term relationship with. They are often the girls you’ll enjoy a one-night stand with and then occasionally hook up with for a few months to a few years after. However, for the purposes of this article, we’re primarily talking about a woman you want to date and develop a long term relationship with, so the time and place of the first kiss is essential.


Read The Flow


Unlike future kisses and make out sessions that may take place just about anywhere (with the possible exception of in her living room with her parents watching as you go at it), the first kiss should be done in private. After (or during) your first date, it can take place in the corner of a dark restaurant or lounge bar, in your car, on her doorstep, in her apartment (or yours) or anyplace else where you have enough privacy. The privacy has more to do with how she feels rather than you. Most guys don’t really care about public displays of affection, but some girls are pretty particular about it because the location can make the first kiss seem more special and romantic to her.

The timing is going to also depend on the situation and place. Assuming you’re in a quiet spot and your conversation has slowed down, not because either of you are bored with each other but because you’re now lost in each others eyes, this is the time to make your move and kiss her for the first time.

Other Signals She May Give You
When a woman touches your hand, arm, shoulder or face while you’re talking, she’s letting you know that she wants to get more physical with you and is open to you kissing her. She may also lean in while you’re alone and talking casually, she may play with her hair or yours, lick her lips or gives you any other signal that she’s ‘into’ you. Take this as a signal that you should go for a kiss. You will rarely, if ever, get knocked back if a woman is giving you those signals, so just move in and do it.

“Chick Flick” Lessons
I’m not telling you to watch every ‘chick flick’ available, but you might want to casually find out from female friends or relatives what their favorite romantic movie is and then check a couple of them out. These movies are geared toward the way woman like to see things develop when they meet a man, so you will be able to ‘get into her head’ to see what women find romantic, charming and exciting.

One of the things you’ll often see if you watch one or two of these movies is that the first kiss often appears to take place in slow motion (and, indeed, sometimes they’re filmed in slow motion or at half speed) because that’s how most women like it. It’s how they fantasize these ‘fairy tale’ kisses taking place. So if you want her to see you as her potential ‘Prince Charming,’  indulge her romantic vision by kissing her the way she’s always dreamed it would take place by moving in slowly.

Keep Your Mouth Shut!
When I say to keep your mouth shut, I mean it literally and figuratively. Don’t ask for permission to kiss her. If she’s sending you signals, then she’s silently giving you permission so don’t ask, just do it!

Do It Right
The moment’s come and you’re standing close together looking into each other’s eyes. Gently but firmly reach around her waist and pull her closer to you. If you’re sitting, gently but firmly reach around her neck to pull her in for a kiss or if you’re sitting close, cup her face with your hand(s) when you kiss her.

You can start by lightly brushing her lips with yours and then softly move your mouth along to her neck and/or cheeks giving her time to let her heart race, her breath quicken and her head to start spinning. Then head back to her lips for a soft, romantic kiss that lasts five to ten seconds. Then pull back a tiny bit to see if she leans in for more. If you’ve kissed her the way I’m suggesting, trust me, she’ll be pulling you in for another kiss.

At this point, if she has parted her lips, you can, again, gently, slip your tongue into her mouth and let it roll around hers. If she hasn’t yet opened her lips, invite her tongue to ‘come out and play’ by softly with the very tip of your tongue run it lightly across her lips. That’s usually all the invitation she’ll need if she’s interested.

Don’t try to shove your tongue down her throat as soon as you get an opening to kiss her. It will simply break the mood that I’m suggesting you try to create. When done correctly, she’ll easily seek out your tongue and your kissing quickly can go from romantic to passionate.

Common Sense Stuff

  • Make sure you have clean breath. Skip the spicy and smelly foods and/or pop a breath mint in your mouth after dinner or drinking (and offer her one too because some women will be nervous about kissing you after eating).
  • Kissing can, but will not always immediately lead to more intimate acts (sex!). Feel free to take it as far as you are both willing to go, but if you’re looking for a long-term relationship, sometimes (depending on the woman) you may just want to leave her wanting more on your next date.

‘Club Kissing’
I told you that I’d share with you some tips for making out with a girl you’ve just met, so here’s the basic plan.

After you’ve spent some time chatting with a girl and you’re getting ready to leave, you can ask for a kiss by tapping your cheek and offer it to her. Most girls will giggle and give you a kiss. Then turn your head and point to your other cheek and she’ll just as likely kiss you there. Then point to your lips. Chances are excellent if she’s given you her phone number and she’s feeling it with you, she’ll go in for that kiss as well. Depending on how intense that kiss is you may just wind up making out and you’re then on the road to a one-night stand.

On the other hand, even if you don’t have sex that night, at least you’ve gotten past your first kiss when you catch up with her on a date. But remember to follow the tips I’ve shared for your ‘real’ first kiss.