For most women, the first kiss you share is something that she’ll not only always remember, but something that she’ll look to as an indicator of how enjoyable your sexual relationship will be. So, you definitely want to get it right.
The most important elements to your kiss are that you:
- Display confidence: You can do this by the way you look her in the eyes, the way you touch her body and how relaxed you are about kissing her.
- Display masculinity: You can be masculine in the way you touch her (e.g. with masculine passion and assertiveness) and the masculine facial expressions you make (e.g. when you pull back and look her in the eyes).
- Provide a varied experience: Don’t just keep kissing or touching her in the same manner. Mix it up with gentle, light kissing and touching and then with passionate, assertive kissing and touching. Pause sometimes to look her in the eye, or to stop kissing and just relax together (without looking her in the eyes) with a hug or just by kicking back in the chair, on the sofa, bed, etc.
Choosing the Right Time and Place
Some women will be open to kissing you immediately, within seconds or within minutes of meeting you. This usually happens in bars and nightclubs where women tend to be more relaxed and carefree. Women who are open to kissing you very quickly after meeting you are almost always open to having a one night stand (sex on the first night) as well.
However, if you’re looking to first kiss with a women you already know (e.g. a coworker, a woman you’re going on a date with, etc), you will usually need to do it at the right time and the right place. For example: After (or during) your first date, the first kiss can take place in the corner of a dimly lit lounge bar, in your car, on her doorstep, in her apartment (or yours) or anyplace else where you have enough privacy. The privacy has more to do with how she feels rather than you.
Most guys don’t really care about what people will think if they kiss a woman in public, but some girls are pretty particular about it. Unless she is giving you clear signals that she wants to kiss you in public, just kiss her when you have enough privacy away from prying eyes. If you do attempt to kiss her in public and she says no, just say, “Oh, okay I understand. You don’t like to kiss in public, right?” and she will say yes and the awkwardness will be immediately diffused.
“Chick Flick” Lessons
No doubt you’ve seen at least one romantic movie with a dramatic kissing scene. While most of the scenes in movies will give you the WRONG idea about what women really want, the kissing scenes are usually spot on.
For example: One of the things you will often see is that the first kiss appears to take place in slow motion because that’s how most women like it. When a woman fantasizes about experiencing a romantic, fairy tale type kiss, she imagines a confident guy holding her, looking her in the eyes and then slowly moving in for the kiss.
It takes a lot of confidence to kiss a woman like that and if you can pull it off, she will see you as her very own Prince Charming. As you may know, confidence is the number one trait in men that causes women to feel sexual attraction. The more confidence you can display to a woman, the more she will feel attracted to you.
Don’t Ask For Permission to Kiss Her
Women hate it when a guy lacks so much confidence in himself or lacks the emotional intelligence to notice her signals that he ASKS for permission to kiss her. “Can you I kiss you?” or “Do you want to kiss me?” are questions that you do not need to ask. If she is giving you signals, then she is giving you permission to kiss her, so just move in and do it.
Yes, I know that moving in for a kiss is scary for some guys because they worry about being rejected. However, if you want a woman to be amazed and feel intense attraction for you, then you need to demonstrate confidence. Women are attracted to the strength in men (e.g. confidence, mental and emotional masculinity) and turned off by the weakness (e.g. nervousness, self-doubt). By moving in for a kiss, you are demonstrating that you are confident and masculine, which is attractive to women.
The reward you get for demonstrating that type of confidence and masculinity is that a woman feels so much more attraction for you than she would for a guy who is self-doubting. She feels lucky to have scored herself an alpha male who isn’t afraid to take action and go after what he wants. That type of alpha male behavior is deeply attractive to women.
Do It Right
Okay, so the moment has and you and your woman are standing close together, looking into each other’s eyes and wanting to kiss. Gently, but firmly reach around her waist and pull her closer to you. If you’re sitting, gently but firmly reach around her neck to pull her in for a kiss or if you’re sitting close, cup her face with your hand(s) when you kiss her.
Look her in the eyes and smile confidently for a second or two and then lean in for the kiss. You can start by lightly brushing her lips with yours and then softly moving your mouth along her neck and/or cheeks. This will make her heart begin to race and she will become excited that her romantic fantasies are coming to life.
After the introductory kiss, you may find that you and her begin passionately kissing. If she doesn’t rush to do that and instead wants to enjoy more of your sensual seduction, head back up to her lips for a soft, romantic kiss that lasts about five to ten seconds. Then pull back a bit and look her in the eyes with a completely relaxed, confident smile.
If you’ve kissed her the way I’m suggesting, trust me, she’ll be pulling you in for another kiss immediately or at very least, she will hug you tightly as though she’s falling in love. You can then turn the kiss into a more passionate, energetic kiss where you begin rubbing your hands all over her body.
The Goodbye Kiss
If you’re not confident enough to move in for a first kiss, you can at least do what I call, The Goodbye Kiss.
When leaving or parting ways (e.g. at the end of a date, when you’re leaving the bar or nightclub), tell her to kiss you by saying, “Okay, well it’s been good meeting you. Let’s have a kiss goodbye. Give me a kiss on the cheek” and point to your cheek. Lean in and offer your cheek to her.
About 85% of girls will giggle and immediately give you a kiss. The 15% who don’t usually just need a bit of extra encouraging like, “Oh, it’s just a goodbye kiss on the cheek. Come here – give me a kiss goodbye.” By saying that, you will raise the percentage of women who kiss your cheek up to 95%.
After she kisses one cheek, turn your head and point to your other cheek and say, “Okay, and one more here.” Then point to your lips, “…and one on the lips.” If you have attracted her enough during the interaction, most women will give you all three kisses. From there, many of those kisses will turn into a full on make out session or even sex that day/night.