Most guys get shot down and rejected when they first start approaching women because it seems like an easy thing to do.
Yet, to successfully approach and pick up a woman, you have to have a certain skill set. You have to know how to be confident around women, you have to know how to talk to women and you have to know how to attract women. Without those those skills, you will rarely get positive results with women.
If a guy doesn’t have the skill set required to approach women (e.g. doesn’t know what to say, doesn’t know how to flirt with women and create a sexual vibe, doesn’t know how to pass a woman’s tests), he will be rejected by almost every woman he approaches.
After getting rejected a few times, a guy will usually give up and begin to develop insecurities about why women might not like him (e.g. not good looking enough, rich enough, tall enough, athletic enough, etc).
Even though he often notices average, below-average or even “ugly” looking guys with beautiful women, he only wants to pay attention to the things that help reinforce his insecurities (e.g. he only remembers the times he has seen a beautiful woman with a good looking guy, or when he has overhead a woman saying that she only dates hot guys).
How about you?
Maybe you are one of the intelligent guys who understand that most women choose men for reasons OTHER than looks, money, height and muscles. You have seen average, below-average or even “ugly” looking guys who aren’t successful in life with a sexy woman as a lover, girlfriend or wife.
Yet, if that is true, why aren’t you getting the same positive results that other guys are getting with women?
Are those guys getting lucky, or are they using attraction techniques that you are simply unaware of? Is it possible that you may have a few things to learn about women before you can start getting the results you want?
Do Women Feel Compatible Enough With You?
Often, the reason why a woman will responded “negatively” towards you is that she just doesn’t feel like compatible with you based on how you are making her feel. For example: If your conversation style is boring or if you are focussing more on being friendly than creating a sexual vibe via flirting, then she isn’t going to be very interested.
You may be compatible with her in many ways, but if you can’t make her feel emotionally turned on during a conversation, then she will find it difficult to maintain her interest in you. Something just won’t feel right to her. She will like you, but since your conversation style is boring or is lacking a sexual vibe, she will assume that a relationship with you or having sex with you may be boring too.
Women in the Year 1900 vs. Today
These days, if a guy doesn’t know how to attract women properly, he will have a hard time getting laid or getting a girlfriend. Why? Women don’t NEED men like they used to.
In the early 1900s for example, most women couldn’t earn their own money and needed a man to support them. Back then, society expected women to remain a virgin, find a man, marry him, lose her virginity, make children, raise the children, cook and clean for the man and then die.
Today, society tells women to do what ever they want to do. Women are free to have sex, focus on a career and put off marriage and childbirth for as long as they want. As a result of this change, women play harder to get. If a guy doesn’t know what he’s doing in terms of attraction and escalating to sex, women will just ignore him and hook up with a guy who does.
A guy who doesn’t understand how to attract and hook up with women will feel as though most women don’t like him. However, the truth is that most women would like him if he approached the sexual courtship correctly. Yet, since he isn’t doing it right, the woman just doesn’t feel like he’s a compatible match.
3 Common Mistakes Guys Make That Cause Women to React Negatively
Here are some common mistakes that guys make, which almost guarantee that the woman will respond negatively:
1. Being Too Nice
There’s nothing wrong with being nice to a woman, but being too nice to her in the hope that she LIKES you is a problem.
When interacting with a woman, you have to first make her feel SEXUAL ATTRACTION for you and then you can get her to like you as a person. The classic mistake of a nice guy is that he tries to get girls to LIKE him as a person and then hope that the woman then wants to have sex with him because of that.
Being a nice guy or a friend to a woman is NOT the step before sex. As you would have seen, guys who know what they are doing with women can walk up to a woman and be kissing her within minutes and then have sex with her that night. It’s not about being a bad boy, being a jerk or an asshole – it’s about making the woman feel sexual attraction for you, while ALSO being a good guy.
If you’re just a nice guy and that’s all you’ve got to offer a woman, 99% of women will reject you. They just won’t be interested because they’ve experienced that boring, confused approach from men all their life.
She wants to feel the excitement and pleasure of sexual attraction. Once a woman feels sexual attraction for a guy, everything else about him that is good or interesting becomes so much more special to her.
2. Trying Too Hard to Impress
Women are funny creatures. They will go around acting as though they want men to impress them, but will then lust after guys who don’t try to impress them.
Well, it actually makes total sense when you know what I know about women. Women don’t want to lead us men, but they will act as though they expect men to bow down to them. Why? It’s a test to see which guys are the alpha males.
As you would have seen in nature, females are always the most attracted to alpha males in the animal kingdom. The same applies to humans; women are most attracted to alpha males. Acting as though they expect men to try hard to impress them serves as a test to identity the lower ranking males who are willing to submit to the leadership of women in the hope of getting laid.
Alpha males simply laugh at any tests that women put them through. It’s not about disrespecting women, but knowing that you are ALREADY good enough. When YOU believe that you are already good enough for the woman you are interacting with, SHE will believe it too.
She will test you (e.g. by acting as though she isn’t interested, teasing you, playing hard to get, etc), but if you remain confident and continue to believe that you deserve her, she will eventually let down her guard and hook up with you.
This process can happen within 20 seconds to 2 hours, but it always ends up the same way: You kissing her, then having sex with her and then deciding whether or not to start a relationship with her. That is how alpha males hook up with women.
On the other hand, the guys who get a negative reaction from women are those who try so hard to impress them. Women instinctively know that guys who try hard to impress them are not alpha males. An insecure guy who is trying to get the approval of women (i.e. looking to women as being the leaders of the dating scene, the choosers, the alphas) is a lower ranking male.
If he was alpha, he would simply talk to a woman and KNOW that he is ALREADY good enough for her, regardless of what he does for a living, what he looks like or any other superficial thing. He knows that his confidence and masculinity (i.e. how he thinks, behaves and takes action in life) is more than enough to attract almost any woman he meets.
3. Being Nervous and Self-Doubting Around Her
Women are attracted to the strength in men (e.g. confidence, mental and emotional masculinity) and turned off by the weakness (e.g. nervousness, self-doubt, anxiety). This is why you will often see average, below-average and even “ugly” guys with beautiful women.
If the guy is confident enough, he will be able to attract and pick up many women (not all) purely based on their attraction to his confidence and emotional masculinity. However, if a guy lacks confidence, most women will not be interested in him and may even respond negatively if he persists in trying to get a woman to LIKE him, rather than feel attracted to him.
Women are always scanning a guy’s body language, actions, vibe, conversation and behavior to assess his confidence level. If a woman spots holes in your confidence and realizes that you are an insecure guy who is simply putting on an act of being confident, she will reject you.
You Only Know What You Know
I hope this article has helped you and opened your eyes to secrets about women that you weren’t aware of.
In life, you only know what you know. I can teach you thousands of mind-blowing, life-changing secrets about women that most guys will NEVER know. When I discovered what I teach here at The Modern Man, women began FLOODING into my life and I’ve been having an amazing time ever since.
If you find that a lot of women have been responding negatively to you, maybe it’s time to learn what you don’t know. If you’ve read this article and can relate to some of the mistakes, the fact is that you have a lot more to learn. This article is only the tip of a very large iceberg.
Would you like to have your choice with women? Would you like to attract women and make them feel as though they MUST have sex with you?
Want to Know the SECRET to Success With Women?
Watch this hidden video where Dan exposes his BIGGEST secret to success with women, which allows you to easily get laid or get a girlfriend.
This video is only available here and you can watch it for free right now.
My current situation,
I met this girl and really like her. It has got to the point where she said things were going too fast and she just wanted to take things slow and see how it goes.
Ive done that no issues. After that we talked all weekend about anything and everything and then hang out on the Sunday and everything was good.
Again she wanted to hang out last night but I was out on another date so all good. We then spoke for about 1.5 hours last night all about her previous relationships and what I thought about it and how would I do things.
Am I missing something or are we going down the friends track?
Your input would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks for your question.
The basic rule is that you’re in the ‘friend zone’ until you kiss her. No amount of talking and ‘being there for her’ is going to make her feel the most important thing she needs to feel before wanting to kiss you and have sex with you.
Can you guess what it is?
Sexual attraction will change the ‘friendly’ chemistry that you now have into ‘sexual’ chemistry. Without it, you’re just friends.
By the way, what you do mean by, “…and then hang out on the Sunday and everything was good.”
If by ‘all good’ you mean that you got along well, that is not what is needed for a sexual relationship to begin. There needs to be flirting going back and forth and she needs to be feeling attraction for you.
Also, have you learned any of our attraction techniques yet?
Thanks for your question.
This is weird. There has to be something really simple that you’re missing! So I’ll ask a few questions to try and get to the bottom of it for you.
You said, “They are usually comfortable with me touching them but nothing more – no real dates, no romance, no sex. I don t get it. When there is sexual friction, I try to stay but they bail out.”
So, when you say “I try to stay” what does that mean? Are you referring to the first time you meet the girls…and you’re trying to stay in the interaction? Why aren’t you getting a phone number and then setting up a date? Sounds like you’re expecting things to just magically escalate to sex the first time you meet a woman, which will only start to happen once you’re really good at using The Flow. You need to learn how to crawl before you walk – in other words, go on dates and then escalate to sex.
Also, sometimes it is appropriate to stay in there and talk to the girl all night. Other times (most often) it is better to talk to her for 10-20 minutes, get a number and leave. Only when your skills are at an advanced level will you be able to escalate to kissing or sex the first time you meet a girl.
Regarding the amount of women you’ve approached: A big mistake guys make is approaching around 10 women in a year and things not working out, then assuming they are doomed with women.
Out of those 10 women, they may have been naturally incompatible with 6 of them, 2 might have had a boyfriend already and the other 2 were available and compatible. However, if the guys skills weren’t up to scratch, he would have likely stuffed it up.
While you are improving your skills with women by using the techniques we teach, you have to talk to as many women as possible. Some guys will get a girlfriend after 1 or 2 approaches, whereas some need to approach 30-40 women before they can use the conversation, attraction and confidence techniques properly.
“The thing is I only ever really felt attractive with a woman twice in my life. ”
Again, how many women are you actually speaking to? When I coach clients on weekends, we speak to 10-15 women in a night. Only then will a newbie get 2-3 phone numbers. Personally, at my level of skill, I only need to speak to 1 or 2 women before I find one who wants to have sex with me or be my girlfriend. It’s not because I’m good-looking (I’m not), rich (I’m not), have muscles (I’m slim and don’t work out)…it is because I know how to talk to women, spark and maintain sexual attraction and move things forward.
Thanks for getting back on that! Actually about your inquiry
So, when you say “I try to stay” what does that mean? Are you referring to the first time you meet the girls…and you’re trying to stay in the interaction?
What I wanted to say is that when I notice a woman is attracted and looks over I look back at her, walk up to her and talk to her. What usually happens is that she is ambiguous about this approach (is he worth opening up to or not): I notice there is curiosity etc. but also insecurity. And that curiosity is emotional, intellectual but not sexual.
The second unclear point was “feeling attractive only 2 times in my life”. Usually the girls that sleep with me only do so because they love me and feel they can trust me. That is of course good stuff and a good starting point.
But there were only 2 times I felt that a woman with me because they were truly ATTRACTED to me. For me this is a big issue because my ex told me she never fantasised about me during the 3,5 years of our relationship because I was not the one who took her virginity. Great. She also said NO woman fantasises sexually about men and they only want relationships and kind of have to have sex as ‘part of the deal of keeping a man’. Because she was the first girl that really stuck in my mind for the next several years. And when you love somebody you believe them. It is dumb beyond belief. I mean how can you enjoy sex and believe you have something to give to a woman if for them it is a triviality???
“And that curiosity is emotional, intellectual but not sexual.” You need to flirt with women to make it a sexual interaction. You can learn about that in:
About your ex: This is where a lot of guys run into problems with women; basing their understanding of women on the perception of one (or two) women. We’ve spoken to 1,000s of women to form our opinions and let me tell you – women DO love sex…as long as it is good! It is no coincidence that all of my girlfriends turn into nymphomaniacs around me…they do so because they revel in the feelings/emotions of being sexed by an alpha male. If the sex isn’t good, sure – the woman won’t enjoy it and won’t fantasize about it.
The key to making women enjoy sex is being present in the moment (really, really touching her and looking at her without being afraid to), being dominant at times (turning her over, telling her to get on her knees, etc), while also being really intimate (loving kisses, gentles strokes on her body, loving hugs, etc). Check this out for more info:
Hi,Dan,there is this girl,i ve bn dating for some months,before we had misunderstanding.After some months,we made it up again and started being friends.Of recent,a guy called me and told me that the girl belongs to him.When i tried reaching out to the girl and she confirmed it,and when further to say,that i should not call her mobile line again.Should i forget about her and continue with my life or What do you suggest i should do?
Thanks for your question.
The answer is an obvious yes. You need to start meeting other women because she is clearly not interested in you anymore. Have you tried approaching women in bars, bookstores or shopping malls before?
Thanks for your question.
Nice try with the message to the girl, but it is obvious that you haven’t listened to any of our advice. When contacting a girl online, you need to use flirting to get her attention. We talk about it in: http://www.themodernman.com/21_great_ways_to_get_a_girlfriend.html
Also ‘praising’ women is not how you attract them (…and you need to attract women to get them to like you more than just a friend). By the sound of it, you need to get started by learning the basics. Download and read this free report:
There is this girl I know, and i see her everyday. Anyway, my friend is dating her. Would it be cool if i just said break up with him and date me?
Thanks for your question.
Dude…you wouldn’t be much of a friend if you did that would you?
I understand that you really might like her, but you’re currently operating with what is a called a ‘scarcity mentality’. Meaning: You think there is hardly any women for you and it is hard to meet new women. There are billions of women on the planet and likely 10s of thousands in your area who would be interested in meeting you. Speak to some new women instead of trying to steal from a friend…because that just ain’t cool.
Also…learn some approaching and conversation techniques and take a friend with you to go out to a bar and talk to women. Depending on your skills, you should only need to talk to a few women before getting a number.
What have you learned about approaching and attracting women so far? Have you read anything from us or listened to any of our audio programs?
Check out this free video if you haven’t seen it already:
Hi Dan, Im a shy type guy in my late twenties that,s still a virgin, The next girl I date should I be honest and admit I carry a V card?
Yes and no.
If a woman doesn’t ask, there’s no need to tell her. If she does ask, then yes just be honest. See:
Some (not all) women like the idea of teaching a virgin a few tricks in the bedroom. If you want to find those women, seek out cougars:
Many cougars love the idea of teaching a virgin. One of the many reasons they enjoy it is that teaching a virgin makes them feel sexually confident. Cougars know that they aren’t the most valuable women on the dating/mating market, so any boost in sexual confidence is usually welcomed.
Also, don’t let the fact that SOME women will be turned off by your virginity keep you a virgin for any longer. The longer you leave it, the more of a problem it will become for you and for the women you meet.
BTW: Sex is easy and you’ll pick it up quite quickly. Here are some tips for when you ‘hit the hay’ with your first woman:
I am fairly confident, and Ive been receiving a little bit of attention from women lately, however, when they show some interest in me, I become frozen, unaware of what to actually say or do in the situation, plus im not really good at flirting, and I got the flow and the ultimate guide to conversation, I need a lot of help on my flirting techniques and conversation starters, because I find that black women are a little different when it comes to approaching, and flirting and playful teasing, so do you have any suggestions for a guy whos not that good at flirting and playfully teasing etc.
how come cougars are not as valuable as other women? does it truly get harder for women as they get older, age? I hear that debate many times
Women lose their value on the mating market as they get older, because we men prefer more youthful women. It’s not because we are shallow, it’s because breeding with an older women who can still have babies increases the possibility of the baby having medical problems. We are naturally attracted to more youthful looking women.
Wow, that makes me feel glad and fortunate to be born male, I noticed some of your comments regarding plastic surgery women would have to do in your article about how do average or ugly looking guys get beautiful women, and that raised my self-esteem but it also makes me feel great that women lose their value with age but men can retain their attractiveness for almost the rest of their life, in some ways I like to think of this as women getting the Karma treatment as they get older, that’s their Karma for all of those years in their prime years, mainly their teens and 20’s, somewhat early 30’s rejecting and friend-zoning so many guys, making them step out of their comfort zone, making them do the work, labor, chore of having to approach them and ask them out, initiate everything and lead them, take the lead, etc., do you believe that is karma for women while we men have the last laugh?
Thanks for your comment.
Haha…I think that’s a negative way of looking at what women have to go through. I admit though, I used to think the same way and Ben and I would laugh about it. Nowadays, I am a much more loving and compassionate person, so I feel sorry for them and wish to see them restored to their former youthful selves if they wanted it.
On that note, I think we will that “reversing our ageing process” will be a service that will be available within the new few decades. It’s already being done successfully in the lab. In the Western countries are against it, you can bet that countries like China (who are investing billions into things like that) will begin selling it.
So, don’t go thinking that women will never get their attractiveness back later. The best way to approach life is to be a man that women truly want to be with. That’s what we teach here at The Modern Man. When you are that man, your woman can be the most beautiful woman in the world and she’ll still want to stay with you.
BTW: If you want to learn about how things will change over the next 20-30 years, read: The Next Big Thing Is Really Small: How Nanotechnology Will Change the Future
why do women deserve that compassion after all those years of rejecting nice guys and friend-zoning them, going for bad-boys, stubbornly passively waiting for men to initiate, be assertive, and take the lead, approach them first and ask them out? i just brought this up because sometimes i have a deep strong hatred for women because i hate the standards and expectations they have in us guys in order to consider us boyfriend material, in order to be sexually attracted to us. Meanwhile all a woman has to do is just be hot, look good and nothing else she needs about her in order to get a boyfriend.
You’re missing the point about women and why they behave in the ways they do.
Read this: http://www.themodernman.com/blog/do-men-need-toughening-up.html
Thanks for your question.
Sure, black women do behave differently to Asian women and white women behave differently to Latinos. However, the basic rules always apply.
1. Be confident.
2. Talk to her.
3. Move it forward.
Some of the most confident and challenging black women I’ve met are just as (sometimes less) challenging that some of the most challenging white women I’ve met. The way ‘through’ the challenges these women put up is to have real, unshakable confidence. These women are basically testing to see if you have the balls to handle them in the bedroom and in a relationship.
That is why we released Mastery Methods & Mindsets: http://www.themodernman.com/mastery_methods_and_mindsets.html …it is for the guys who need extra help to become truly confident at a deep level.
You said, “…when they show some interest in me, I become frozen” …so, don’t freeze! Accept that they are interested in you, keep talking and then move things forward to a kiss, phone number, date or sex. You might be suffering from a fear of success:
You also said, “…unaware of what to actually say or do in the situation, plus im not really good at flirting, and I got the flow and the ultimate guide to conversation”
Dude! Use the 100s of conversation and flirting examples we provide in those products. Don’t just listen to what we say in the products, use the advice. You will only get the results when you use the advice.
Yeah your right
Another problem I have is how to end the conversation, and getting phone numbers, which has always been a problem for me, because the woman doesnt know you, what advice can you give me on that Dan?
Thanks for your question.
Lol, dude – you need to read my book:
I can’t start teaching everything that I’ve written about in The Flow in the comments section here! 🙂 Try my book, it comes with a 30 day money back guarantee. I include heaps of examples of what to say to women in all sorts of situations.
Thanks for the reply and feedback. What I meant to say by “all is good” is that after the comment “lets take things slow” she wanted to hang out with me again so we went out again and have been out again a few more times since.
Since then she has said that she wants to be friends but also wants to know more.
She has asked if I liked her and I said yes. I havent obviously shown my true intentions yet for her to realise that given her asking that or is this all a womens secret way of probing.
Are your attracton techniques in “The Flow” or do you have a separate product for this.
Recommendations are always welcomed.
Yes, if you’re a beginner to our advice – start with The Flow. It’s the cheapest and includes most of my best techniques.
Hello Dan and the Modern Man, I have recently purchased the flow ebook, really good information there thanks:) I completely agree with your take on looks not being important well up to a point, but there is an area you have not covered !! For Men in their 20’s and 30’s who look
5->12 years younger it is a realistic problem for women. Looks are important for women in the sense that the man must essentially look older than her, if he looks younger then she simply is not interested!! Luckily I quess most Men naturally seem to look their age. I have often been told by women 5 to 8 years younger than me, that I am just simply too young for them. Then I tell them my real age and the shock on their face is embarrassment as though they have only treated me as a piece of meat. It is not that I behave childlike, I behave and act my age. However this must be a common problem for a small proportion of men, and any suggestions would be interesting to hear. Thanks Oliver
I’m not sure whether your problem is all in your head, or based on comments from a handful of women.
I’ve been coaching guys in person for over 5 years now and pretty much every time, the guy’s insecurities are based on a few experiences or comments from women. How many women have actually said that to you?
No matter if you really do look like a man child, or this issue is just an excuse you’re using to avoid approaching women and moving things forward…
Start looking at your youthful appearances as a GOOD thing. Mark the Master http://www.themodernman.com/confessions_of_a_natural.html looks a LOT younger than he is. He is also very small and weighs under 90 pounds. Yet, he is amazing with women and always has beautiful girlfriends.
I am currently 33 years old. I meet a LOT of women and about 90% of the time, women usually guess my age to be 27. Is it a problem for me? Obviously not!
When it comes to success with women, the best advice is not to worry about anything women say to you. Simply talk to women, be confident and move it forward. They’ll say all sorts of stuff to try and throw you off/test your confidence…just ignore it and move things forward to kissing and sex. You’ll soon see that your youthful appearance was not a problem all along.
I’m currently at university 1st year and
would love to meet new girls. The first
day at uni I approached 2 girls separately
The first approach resulted in me having
very little to say. The second approach I
managed to carry on the conversation
For 15 mins with a cool girl and then I
Escalated by moving to the canteen
And continuing the interaction. I felt
I came on too strong and was not injecting
Enough humor and flirting. I got her phone number
But she never picked up lol.ever since then
(6months) I have not approached a girl.
What’s your advice.
Sort of a vague question here I was hoping you could comment on…
Is there such a thing as assuming too much rapport? Being too familiar with people?
I feel like I am doing this with women, possibly as overcompensation for years of shyness. Basically I have lost my social filter and will blurt out what ever is on my mind. It can work wonders when the timing is right, and also can get a laugh out of people.
The problem is I feel I do this too much, to the point where it might be a bit unnatural, overly dominating, or just awkward.
I also have a tendency to overuse humor and it kills the attraction. I have watched your different videos on attraction – what I gathered from it was that women will be attracted to you purely from the fact of your own confidence and attraction towards her.
Sparking sexual tension is a tough subject for me to crack. I can go up to almost any woman and get a laugh or smile out of her, which is fine, but I’d love to be able to approach women completely serious, with a straight face, no joking around and spark unimaginable levels of attraction between the two of us.
Could you comment on this aspect of the game?
Well, I’m a 29 year old African-American in northern Virginia. Growing up, I had a stutter, and I still speak with one. However, I’m also an actor, and my stutter goes away when acting. Last year, I saw this female at this club, and was nervous in approaching her. So I finally got my courage up to approach her as she was sitting by the bar and her girlfriend. I just introduced myself, but then I started to stutter a little. She then said “Are you drunk or something?” My heart just dropped at that moment while she and her girlfriend laughed hysterically. By the way, she was a black woman. I felt less than nothing and more of a loser. And it was my fault because. I KNEW that kind of thing was gonna happen. So, I haven’t approached anybody since then. Even if it was someone I found attractive, I still won’t approach. It’s bag enough that I’m shy and have a stutter in my normal life. But to have someone make you feel edd than human because of it is just cruel. So if I were to approach another woman (especially a black woman), should I act as if I’m in character when I’m in character? That’s the only time I don’t stutter. Not even once. I know stuttering is a major turn off for women, so I’m just curious
Thanks for your question.
You’re stuttering issue is caused by ineffective mindsets. You said that you KNEW it would happen, which means that your mindsets are set up to cause you to FAIL. You’ve got to set your thinking (mindsets) up in way where you are building towards more strength, power and ability. Your stutter will go away naturally and permanently if you go through the Confidence Building System we teach in the Dating Power videos: http://store.themodernman.com/in/2cf8a89
I cured my social anxiety using the same system. Before I cured it, I was always going red in the face when talking to people, stumbling on my words, becoming dry in the mouth and unable to string proper sentences together. If you don’t fix your thinking, you will continue to experience the same problem.
As Steve Jobs said in his biography, people go through life with a particular scaffolding in their mind in terms of their thinking patterns that either leads them to success, mediocrity or failure. At the moment, the structure of your thinking has been organized in way that is causing you to fail. Here at The Modern Man, we undo all the mess and restructure your thinking so you quickly become confident and successful with women and in life.
Hi there. im 24 years old guy. I am dating a 22 years old girl. We have been together for 2 years now. Everything went so smoothly until last year. We were on a date on weekend. Before sending her back to her parents, i stop by at a park around 10pm. We make out in the car in a dark spot. We were not having sex. just kissing and hugging n we were shirts off. We have been doing this for couple of times. But this time so unlucky we were caught by the police. She was traumatised by the event. But we still did the same again at different place. For the second time we were caught again for just kssing in the car. Now, whenever i wanted to stop anywhere, she would be uncomfortable and reject my request to make out. Home is not possible. She is a kind of a good girl. Never had boyfriend before. She is somehow felt that this kind of things is inappropriate and she is scared. We had fights over this issue. She said her limit is just kissing and hugging. But i wanted more. She used to handjob me and now she felt it is a sin to do so. Our issue is that i wanted to have physical intimacy with her. But she feels that this should not happen until marriage. She is ok if i kiss her for short time. She will be uneasy if i kiss her for longer and my hands start to become wild. She said that she fears that this could lead to sexual intercourse before marriage. But i feel this is a important part of our relationship to grow.
Please advice. Thanks..
Thanks for your question.
I don’t recommend trying to change a person’s religious or moral views on sex before marriage. If that’s the way she feels, it’s best to respect it. The truth is, the best way to get her opening up to it is to dump her. If she doesn’t care about the “sex before marriage” thing as much as she cares about you, she will become open to it.
A girl I’ve been seeing is more interested some days and less the rest. Is this normal or should I expect her to be infatuated with me all the time? It doesn’t make me insecure but should I assume that she isn’t fully in love with me or ask her? How do I go about approaching something like this because I don’t want to be dating the wrong person or not be exuding my most attractive self if that’s the case. Cheers Dan
Thanks for your question.
She is just testing you to see how confident you are, how much you believe in yourself, your willingness to lead the sexual courtship and how much you like her. If you want to know how to go from one step to the next, read The Flow: http://store.themodernman.com/in/58e9e6c
Hey dan, according to you, do u ever think a guy can date his girl bestfriend who he has recently started to like?
Of course. Watch this to learn what you need to do to make that happen: http://www.themodernman.com/videos/turn-your-female-friend-or-co-worker-into-your-girlfriend.html
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