Men can never be tough enough. The toughening up of the human species has been going on since it began and in my opinion, it will never end.
Life here on planet Earth is challenging at the best of times and as men, we can never rest on our laurels and think that we’ve got this reality sorted out and under control. Despite our smartphones, supermarkets and confident posts on the Internet, we human beings are still only a hurricane or tornado away from basic survival. All of a sudden, our trusty power grid shuts down, supermarket shelves are emptied in a panicked frenzy, the gas runs dry and we’re back to fending for ourselves again.

While future technological breakthroughs will solve a lot of our problems and make life easier in many ways, we are living in a seemingly infinite universe, so there will always be new and more complex challenges awaiting us as we progress forward. We will never get to the point where we can say, “We’ve achieved everything. The battle is over! Our dreams are all achieved and nothing else needs to be done” because there is always a next level. Our human story is only just beginning and to get to where we really want to be, we will need to become even tougher, smarter and more resilient than we’ve ever been before.

Why Do Men Need to Be Tough? Why Can’t Women Be the Tough Ones?

When we ask ourselves, “Do men need toughening up, or are we tough enough already?” we’re really asking that question because we know that men are expected to be the tougher ones of the human species. Whether people feel comfortable openly admitting it or not, we all know that it is okay for a woman to cry, be afraid and hide behind the protection of a man. However, the same is not true for men. Generally speaking, we men are expected to be strong, tough and stand fearlessly in the face of danger when necessary. We are expected to be a pillar of strength for those around us and remain strong when others are fearful or buckling under pressure.

Female UFC fighters

Female UFC fighters

Female body builders

Female body builders

Female body builders

Female body builders

Female soldiers

Female soldiers

That’s not to say that women aren’t tough or can’t protect men. In today’s world, women are often fighting on the frontlines of battle alongside men or duking it out in bloody, UFC cage fights for the love of the sport and competition. Yet, just because a small percentage of women are now battling on the frontlines like men, it doesn’t mean that “women are the new men” and that we men now need to step aside. It just means that women are challenging us men to become even tougher than we’ve ever been before, which is actually a really good thing.

Women Challenge Us Men to Become Tougher… and That is a Good Thing For All of Us

Throughout human history, a small percentage of women have taken on the role of being tough like a man and standing in the face of danger to protect men and humanity. However, for the most part, women have stood back from danger and instead challenged men to become even tougher than they already are. By showing more attraction and interest for confident men and showing less attraction and interest for weak men, women have challenged us men to become stronger. Since men will do pretty much anything to impress women to hopefully plant their seed, women react by requesting toughness and strength, amongst other things, in exchange for bearing offspring. It’s a beautiful exchange of value and personally speaking, I look at this “mating preference” as one of the greatest gifts that women provide for humanity.

My Story: How Women Challenged Me to Become a Stronger Man

Nervous - Dan

Look how nervous I was when I first started approaching women! :) I was in panic mode talking to her! Despite that, I still managed to get her phone number, but I then screwed up the date because I was too nervous around her. I felt as though she was out of my league. By rejecting me, women like her forced me to build more confidence and become more of a man.

I guess the best way to explain the wider benefits of women challenging men, is to tell my story about how women challenged me to become the strong, “tough” man that I am today. It all started 11 years ago when I got tired of being single and decided to try and meet women.

I wasn’t a tough guy, mentally and emotionally. I doubted myself, I felt nervous around women and they just didn’t like that about me. Instead of rewarding my weakness with sex, love and devotion, women challenged me to become stronger by rejecting me and not showing interest in my wimpy approach to them. After a while, I began to hate women for being so mean and picky about the guys who approached them. I thought that women were stuck up and didn’t know a good guy when they met one. No matter how many different ways I tried to talk to them, women just didn’t like me. Eventually, I realized that my nervousness or lack of “mental and emotional toughness” was the problem.

It wasn’t until I became confident and “toughened up” that women started to show me interest and respect. When I walked over to talk to a woman as a confident man, that is when women opened up to the conversation. As my confidence grew, so did women’s interest in me. Before I knew it, I had women calling me up and trying to set up dates with me. It was a pretty amazing transformation and experience. To be clear, me getting to “sort out my dating life” wasn’t the wider benefit to humanity with regards to women’s challenging behavior; it goes deeper than that. As a by-product of becoming a stronger, more confident man simply to have women like me, I ended up getting promoted three times within six months in the corporate world.

To improve my confidence, self-belief and mental toughness around women, I had to go through a lot of personal development. While learning everything I could about confidence, social intelligence and interacting with other people, I quickly became more effective in my job and from a low-level customer service employee on the phone, I rose up to become the coach of a team, the leader of a team and then the leader of the leaders. That was also a pretty amazing transformation and experience. As a tough-minded man, I was able to confidently lead hundreds of employees and as a team, we managed to improve productivity and increase job satisfaction, which then reduced employee sick leave rates and thus increased profits for the company. Essentially, I became a more useful and effective man for society.

Dan - confident

…then I became confident and this is what happened.

All of this happened in response to being rejected by women for being a mentally and emotionally weak man. If women accepted my self-doubt, nervousness and emotional weakness, then what sort of world would be living in? We’d be encouraging the human race to become wimpier. In that weird world, women would have to settle for scared, nervous men who were hesitant in the bedroom and in life. When faced with challenging situations, these men would break down and cry and look to women to save them. When watching a horror movie, it would be the man who hugged into the woman for a feeling of safety. If there were strange noises outside the house, it would be the man telling the woman, “Please! Go outside and check! I’m scared!”

I don’t know about you, but I like things the way they are now. In today’s world, women have the choice to live like a man if they choose to, live like a traditional woman or be their own version of what they think a woman is. We have a nice mix of different personality types and ways of looking at life and it all blends together to make us tougher than we were yesterday. Some men are angry that many modern women aren’t subservient like women of previous generations, but such men simply haven’t realized that they are falling behind the times. Women are still women, but if you feel as though they are tougher than you, then you’ve lost your way as a man.

It’s Not Only the Pressure of Women That Make Us Men Stronger

Dana White, the president of the UFC is a perfect example of a man who has become stronger by rising through the levels of his true potential as a man. He has been unrelenting in his pursuit to make the UFC the best fighting organization in the world. Due to the pressure of having to deal with tough men, day in and day out, as well as the pressures of the media and running the business side of the UFC, Dana White has turned into one tough, alpha male.

Dana White

Dana White has had to become tougher to deal with the increasing level of challenge and pressure involved with running the UFC.

He is also a perfect example of a man who has a strong life purpose and will stop at nothing to make it happen. When you are a man of purpose, you are forced to become stronger all the time. Of course, a big side benefit of that is you become deeply attractive to women. Women refer to you as a real man, men respect you and most people want to be around you or be your friend. It’s the magnetic draw and power of being of man of purpose. Note: If you don’t know what you’re life purpose is and you want to develop that, watch Better Than a Bad Boy.

Okay, so here is the before and after of Dana White:

Before

After

Muscle Confusion

Many modern men who don’t understand what toughness really is will often turn to bodybuilding as a solution to be seen as “tough” by women, or by people in general. While there is nothing wrong with working out and building muscles, it is not the type of toughness that is most impressive to women or the most beneficial to humanity. A man might be able to lift heavy weights in a gym, but if he is a wimp at heart and doesn’t really contribute much to the world, then he’s not very useful to anyone.

Why do women like guys with big muscles?

If you’re not confident guy, then she doesn’t care if you have muscles or not…she’s not going to be interested. Without confidence, you’re just another nervous, weak-minded guy with muscles

Zoom up into the sky to about 400ft and then look down and take a bird’s eye view of a guy with big muscles working out in a gym. As you look down from your high position, you will see that the body builder is about as small as an ant. He’s not “big” like he thinks he is. He’s a little human on a tiny planet floating in a humungous universe. His ability to lift weights up and down in a repetitive fashion doesn’t do anything for the real challenges and problems facing humanity. It also doesn’t necessarily mean that he is a confident guy who will be able to protect and provide for a woman and the offspring they have. Growing slightly bigger muscles also doesn’t mean that he is successful in life or is on his way to success. It just means that he has extra meat on his body.

It is for this reason that when a woman is deciding how much she likes a guy, she looks at his behavior, thinking and the actions he takes as a man. He may have big biceps, but if he is nervous in social situations or is hiding from his true potential as a man out of fear, then he doesn’t have the type of toughness that she will find attractive in a long-term relationship. She might feel some initial physical attraction to his muscles and physical strength, but instinctively she knows that his biceps aren’t that important. This type of natural selection by women for mental and emotional toughness, rather than just physical toughness, is one of the main reasons why the human race has become what it is today.

What Does it Mean to Be a Tough Man?

Tough (adjective): Strong and durable, not easily broken. Capable of great endurance.

Weak (adjective): Not strong. Likely to break or collapse under pressure. Lacking in force, inadequate.

Essentially, being tough as a man is about being strong, durable and not folding under pressure. While this also applies to your physical strength, the most important type of strength as a man is your mental and emotional strength. If you become nervous under pressure or quit when faced with a difficult challenge, then you’re not a tough man. However, if you’re the sort of man who remains strong, sturdy and determined no matter what, then you have what it takes to be respected by other men, wanted by women and truly appreciated by the world around you.


Watch Better Than a Bad Boy


How Tough Are You As a Man?

Every guy has a certain level of toughness right now, but that isn’t and never will be the highest peak he can reach. Answer the following questions to yourself and have a think about how tough you are as a man and where you might be able to add some strength:

  • Do you give up easily when a project or career dream becomes too challenging, or do you push through any obstacles and keep reaching for your ultimate goals with unrelenting determination?
  • When life gets tough, do you seek the pity of others, or do you accept the situation for what it is, fix it and then get on with life, feeling stronger and more determined than ever before?
  • Do you cry when times get tough, or do you feel the emotion of a situation and then get on with life instead of breaking down into tears?
  • Do you become nervous or anxious in social environments, or are you always calm, confident and in control when around other people?
  • Do you become jealous, clingy or insecure in a relationship with a woman, or do you retain your confidence and love her in a mature, non-needy way?
  • If you see an attractive woman whom you want to approach, do you approach with confidence or become nervous, doubt yourself and then chicken out?

There is always room to improve your personal toughness as a man and there is literally no limit to the “toughness potential” of the human race. So, in response to the question of, “Do men need toughening up, or are we tough enough already?” I think the answer is clear: There is no limit to your toughness as a man. You can be a lot tougher than you are right now so keep going. You haven’t reached the peak yet and when you do, there will be another peak to climb. It goes on forever and that is a good thing. Onward!

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