For most women, the first kiss you share is something that she’ll not only always remember, but something that she’ll look to as an indicator of how enjoyable your sexual relationship will be.
When you have a first kiss with a woman, you need to:
Display confidence: You can do this by the way you look her in the eyes, the way you touch her body and how relaxed you are about kissing her.
Display masculinity: You can be masculine in the way you touch her (e.g. with masculine passion and assertiveness) and the masculine facial expressions you make (e.g. when you pull back and look her in the eyes).
Provide a varied experience: Don’t just keep kissing or touching her in the same manner. Mix it up with gentle, light kissing and touching and then with passionate, assertive kissing and touching.
Pause sometimes to look her in the eye, or to stop kissing and just relax together (without looking her in the eyes) with a hug or just by kicking back in the chair, on the sofa, bed, etc.
Choosing the Right Time and Place
Some women will be open to kissing you immediately, within seconds or within minutes of meeting you. This usually happens in bars and nightclubs where women tend to be more relaxed and carefree about hooking up with guys.
Women who are open to kissing you very quickly after meeting you are almost always open to having a one night stand (sex on the first night) as well. However, if you’re looking to have a great first kiss with a women you already know (e.g. a coworker, a woman you’re going on a date with, etc), you will usually need to do it at the right time and the right place.
For example: During your first date, the first kiss may take place in the corner of a dimly lit lounge bar, in your car, on her doorstep, in her apartment (or yours) or anyplace else where you have enough privacy.
Most guys don’t really care about what people will think if they kiss a woman in public, but some girls are pretty particular about it. Unless she is giving you clear signals that she wants to kiss you in public, just kiss her when you have enough privacy away from prying eyes.
If you do attempt to kiss her in public and she says no, just say, “Oh, okay I understand. You don’t like to kiss in public, right?” and she will say yes and the awkwardness will be immediately diffused.
In most cases, her saying no doesn’t mean you have been rejected. It simply means that it’s either not the right type, or she is testing your confidence in yourself. She wants to feel more attracted to you, so she will test your confidence and if you maintain your confidence rather than getting nervous, it will turn her on even more.
“Chick Flick” Lessons
While most Hollywood movies will give you the WRONG idea about what women really want in a man, the kissing scenes are usually spot on.
For example: One of the things you will often see is that the first kiss appears to take place in slow motion because that’s how most women like it. When a woman fantasizes about experiencing a romantic, fairy tale type kiss, she imagines a confident guy holding her, looking her in the eyes and then slowly moving in for the kiss.
It takes a lot of confidence to kiss a woman like that and if you can pull it off, she will see you as her very own Prince Charming. As you may know, confidence is the number one trait in men that causes women to feel sexual attraction. The more confidence you can display to a woman, the more she will feel attracted to you.
Don’t Ask For Permission to Kiss Her
Women hate it when a guy lacks so much confidence in himself or lacks the emotional intelligence to notice her signals that he ASKS for permission to kiss her. “Can you I kiss you?” or “Do you want to kiss me?” are questions that you do not need to ask.
If she is giving you signals, then she is giving you permission to kiss her, so just move in and do it.
Yes, I know that moving in for a kiss is scary for some guys because they are worried about being rejected. Yet, if you want a woman to be amazed and feel intense attraction for you, you must demonstrate confidence.
Women are attracted to the strength in men (e.g. confidence, mental and emotional masculinity) and turned off by the weakness (e.g. nervousness, self-doubt). By moving in for a kiss, you are demonstrating that you are confident and masculine, which is attractive to women.
The reward you get for demonstrating that type of confidence and masculinity is that a woman feels so much more attraction for you than she would for a guy who is self-doubting. She feels lucky to have scored herself an alpha male who isn’t afraid to take action and go after what he wants. That type of alpha male behavior is deeply attractive to women.
Do It Right
Okay, so the moment has and you and your woman are standing close together, looking into each other’s eyes and wanting to kiss. Gently, but firmly reach around her waist and pull her closer to you. If you’re sitting, gently but firmly reach around her neck to pull her in for a kiss or if you’re sitting close, cup her face with your hand(s) when you kiss her.
Look her in the eyes and smile confidently for a second or two and then lean in for the kiss. You can start by lightly brushing her lips with yours and then softly moving your mouth along her neck and/or cheeks. This will make her heart begin to race and she will become excited that her romantic fantasies are coming to life.
After the introductory kiss, you may find that you and her begin passionately kissing. If she doesn’t rush to do that and instead wants to enjoy more of your sensual seduction, head back up to her lips for a soft, romantic kiss that lasts about five to ten seconds. Then pull back a bit and look her in the eyes with a completely relaxed, confident smile.
If you’ve kissed her the way I’m suggesting, she’ll be pulling you in for another kiss immediately or at very least, she will hug you tightly as though she’s falling in love. You can then turn the kiss into a more passionate, energetic kiss where you begin rubbing your hands all over her body.
The Goodbye Kiss
If you’re not confident enough to move in for a first kiss, you can at least do what I call, The Goodbye Kiss.
When leaving or parting ways (e.g. at the end of a date, when you’re leaving the bar or nightclub), tell her to kiss you by saying, “Okay, well it’s been good meeting you. Let’s have a kiss goodbye. Give me a kiss on the cheek” and point to your cheek. Lean in and offer your cheek to her.
About 85% of girls will giggle and immediately give you a kiss. The 15% who don’t usually just need a bit of extra encouraging like, “Oh, it’s just a goodbye kiss on the cheek. Come here – give me a kiss goodbye.” By saying that, you will raise the percentage of women who kiss your cheek up to 95%.
After she kisses one cheek, turn your head and point to your other cheek and say, “Okay, and one more here.” Then point to your lips, “…and one on the lips.” If you have attracted her enough during the interaction, most women will give you all three kisses.
From there, many of those kisses will turn into a full on make out session or even sex that day/night.
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I have a lot of anxiety making any move physically with a woman.
My situation is simple but I just can’t figure out how to move forward so any help would be appreciated. I have been impotent for years due to a medical condition. Oral medications don’t help; I am at the stage where I need to use injections and so need “prep time”. So when I am with an attractive woman I am reluctant to even try to kiss her as I am concerned that things might “go well” and then I will be embarrassed that she might discover my impotence.
Any advice appreciated on what to say or act with her so that she knows I am still very interested in her, still very attracted to her, and yet I have this physical issue which I (and she if she decides to get into a relationship with me) will have to deal with for the rest of my life?
Thanks for your question.
The truth is, many women are going to be annoyed by it. You’re going to need to make the women you meet SO ATTRACTED and interested in you that they are willing to put up with limitations like that. Not all girls will be patient with it, so don’t sit around waiting to “get lucky” with a girl (Read: Is Getting Lucky the Secret to Success With Women?). You need to approach and escalate (to sex) with many women until you find your perfect match.
So i was at a party, and met a very atractive girl, at the end of the evening we kissed, alot. Later when we went our separate ways i got a text message from her saying, “answer this when you are sober, do you remember me?” I sayd yes , and after that we teksted alot for 4 days, until new years eve, when i asked if we should meet again. I noticed by her answer that she was holding a bit back so i said.” Do you want to meet me? After we kissed i feal i really like you, do you feel the same?” She answered:” im sorry but i dont know you very well, so i cant say i have any feelings for you, sorry”, . Then i exused my self by saying “dont be sorry, i guess i was moving to fast forward”. Havent talkt to her since, and after readin the text turnof article i have realised i’ve done things wrong . Now i dont know what to do anymore.
Thanks for your question.
Yes, in most cases, a woman does not like when a man tells her he has “feelings” for her until she has said it first. Inexperienced and very young women are okay with that, but they soon realize that guys who approach a sexual courtship like that usually end up being quite needy and feminine in a relationship…and that’s the opposite of what they want from a man.
I recommend that you watch Better Than a Bad Boy and learn how to get a woman telling you about her feelings first. You should be able to recover from the mistake you’ve made with this girl, but you’re going to need to truly follow my advice in the program and not just use “half” of it. Use the Better Than a Bad Boy approach with her and she’ll come running back.
BTW: You shouldn’t have spent that long just “kissing.” She is likely turned off by the realization that you’re too afraid to escalate to sex with her, or that you want to take things really slow. Today’s women aren’t the same as women from 1800, 1900, 1950 or even last year. Things have changed and are continuing to change. You need to use a modern approach with most women you meet, rather than trying to behave like some guy out of a “black and white movie” from the 50s.
Thank you for the answers, but are those tips you are giving me refering to “teens” as well as adults. Im only 19 years old and she is only 16. Thats also one reason i just stayed at the 1.base. I dint want to pressure her or me into having sex. And both of us are virgins as vell. I gues it was me telling her how i felt that sceard her off. She said she didnt know me enough to have the same feelings, so i guess there is still hope, right? Its just that i dont know what to say to here right now, its been silence between us since the last message, so i guess i shoul wait till i see her in person, and then tell her i would like to know here more…
Yes, I am providing advice for adults, of which you are one now at age 19. However, in terms of when a person should first have sex: That’s not for me to answer. Each country has different laws, people have different beliefs, etc. You need to find out what the laws are in your country/state/region regarding the allowed age for sex, get clear on her personal beliefs about sex before a certain age and then make a decision.
From my reading of better than a bad boy i know the importance of flirting but can you give me some hints on how to communicate on a sexual level with women, so I don’t come across as a sleaze?
Thanks for your question.
Yes, use the sexual presence technique that I demonstrate in Alpha Male Power and any of our flirting examples. New flirting examples are included in each product.
i called a female cousin to come home.As she ask your mom home i said my mom is not at home.she came and i started talking to her she said i sacred her and when i touch her hand trying to grasp her hand she said don’t do this but still sat in front of me for half an hour.i want to kiss her.Is there any chances she become my girlfriend and i would be able to kiss her??
You want to make your COUSIN your girlfriend? Lol…
Talk to women outside of your gene pool.
So I’ve been great friends with someone at work and recently we had a staff party. She kissed me on the cheek during the staff party while we both had alcohol in our systems. We also held hands in the taxi while going home and walking to her place. She kissed me on the cheek again before we both went to sleep in her bed (not the first time I slept in her bed with her). Did I miss my chance kissing her back? Is She interested in being more than just friends?
Thanks for your question.
Lol, she couldn’t have made it MORE obvious that she wanted you to kiss her and make a move than that. The next step for her would have been literally saying, “KISS ME!” which really only happens in the movies or when the woman is very drunk. Watch this video to learn your next move with her: http://www.themodernman.com/videos/turn-your-female-friend-or-co-worker-into-your-girlfriend.html
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