Should You Text Her or Sext Her?

Do women get turned on by pictures of your manhood?

After more than a hundred years of phone calls, text messages suddenly came on to the scene and quickly developed into the main way of communicating for many people.

With the availability of camera phones, it was expected that sending sexy pictures would eventually become normal to the younger generations. As you may have noticed, this has happened. So, young, middle aged or old, should you sext or stick to text? Is sending a sext the best way to seduce a woman?

The Basic Rule
Sexting is not a necessary step before having sex with a woman, so the basic rule is that you do not need to do it to be successful with women. However, if you are keen to try it or want to reply to a sext that a woman sent you, here is some advice to consider.

Should You Talk About Sex Via Text?
It depends. If you’ve never actually had sex with that particular woman, the answer is usually “No!” However, if you and she haven’t had sex but have openly (not in shy, timid type of way) talked about sex in person, then it’s fine to talk about sex via text.

The reason why you shouldn’t talk about sex via text before you’ve had sex, is that it is often perceived as weak and sleazy. Too many men will use the relative anonymity of texts because they’re too scared to kiss a girl, talk about sex with her in person or actually have sex with her. Sneaky, weak behavior like that shows a definite lack of confidence which will be a major turnoff to most women. On the other hand, if you’ve been up close and personal (a.k.a. had sex with her) on several occasions and you have a certain level of comfort that she would welcome your sexts, then go for it…but you still need to be careful with this new method of communicating.

When and When Not to Sext
Sometimes a text will be visible to some people within close proximity of the person getting a text. Plus, a lot of women tend to glance over and look at their girlfriends’ phones to see what’s being texted to them. Women love to gossip, talk about relationships and discuss the man or men they’re involved with. So unless you’re positive that the woman your sexting is not going to be around her workmates or other people she has to maintain a reputation around, don’t send the sext. Can you imagine the problems you might cause your girl if your sexy text arrives when she’s with her boss, clients, parents or anyone else whose ability to read your text would cause her great embarrassment?

If you want to send her a funny text, a flirty one or a quick note after a date, that’s fine. Or if you want to confirm any plans you’ve made, that’s also an acceptable text. Other than that, be cautious texting anything else. Until you’ve actually had sex, it is better to keep it fun and flirty, rather than sexy and sleazy.

Will a Photo of Your Private Parts Turn Her On?
Men are sexually visual creatures which is why most pornography is aimed at men. There is a reason why women don’t go searching and looking for porn pictures or videos of men to masturbate to. It is not a mistake or an accident that most of the porn industry ignores women and doesn’t waste time making videos to (try to) sell to them. While men get turned on visually, women, on the other hand, first get turned on mentally. So texting a photo of your ‘private parts’ or anything else you think would be a turn-on is likely to be a major turn-off for her instead. It should, therefore, go without saying that videos of you playing with your pecker are also not necessary.

Does Sexy Talk Equal Sexy Texts?
You also have to be sure that the woman in question would be open to receive a sex talk text from you. Some women just can’t handle it, while others love it and thrive on it. Yes, your new girl might be a wild sex creature in the bedroom, but it’s equally possible that she thinks she is a lady everywhere else. So make sure that you’ve not only had sex with her more than once, but that you’ve also discussed (or at least she’s implied) that she’d enjoy that type of communication.

Just because she and/or you are very verbal and graphic in things you say between the sheets, it doesn’t mean that she would be open to that type of language via text. Sometimes, a good indication of her receptiveness to a sext is to consider whether she would be too embarrassed to talk dirty over dinner at a restaurant while others nearby can hear what you’re saying.

Pre-Pillow Talk
If you want to get her mentally ready for your next date or bedroom romp, then reach out and ‘touch’ her with your voice directly (and not on her answering machine). Hearing you say something provocative about your next sexual encounter is going to be a lot more effective if she hears you tell her with your own voice rather than reading it on her phone. Since 90% of communication is conveyed by your body language and vocal tone and, since women are most turned on by how you behave around them and talk to them in person, don’t cower behind the safety of a text. Make her really feel it by saying it over the phone or while looking into her eyes.

To sum it up, unless you’re positive that your sext messages or questionable images would be welcomed by your woman, just avoid them altogether. Despite the ready availability of sexts, they simply aren’t necessary for success with women in the modern world.