In today’s world, a woman can get her own food, buy her own home, lock her own doors and if she needs help in an emergency situation, she is perfectly capable of calling the police or fire department by herself. Thanks to the efforts of brave feminists in previous decades, a woman can now be a leader of men, pursue her dreams and change the world how she sees fit. She can fight battles, be a stay at home mom, or party like there’s no tomorrow. The world is her oyster. Yet, if she’s like most modern women, she still has an instinctive desire to feel protected by her man. So, why is that?
Hard-Wired Human Instincts Don’t Go Away Overnight
For most of human history, a woman had to rely on a man to physically protect her and her offspring. If a man was unable to protect her, she was at risk of being taken advantage of, hurt or even killed by other men who wouldn’t have to worry about being sent to prison or being shamed on TV by the media.
There was no TV, no telephone to call the police and no advanced medical treatments for serious and painful injuries. For most of human history, it was basically the survival of the toughest. The physically weak could be taken advantage of and they often were.
Only in the last 50 to 100 years have women begun to feel safe when home alone or while walking along a well-lit street at night without the protection of a man by her side. Yet, despite the increase in feelings of safety, the instinctive desire to feel protected by a man hasn’t gone away for a woman. It’s a hard-wired instinct and it is difficult to ignore for even the most independent of modern women.
It is Still Dangerous For Women Out There
Unfortunately, despite the heavy police presence in today’s world, a woman can still be taken (and kept) against her will, raped or even killed. Evidence of this can be found in the almost weekly TV news reports shown across in the world. This is as true for women today as it was a thousand years ago or even 10,000 years ago.
So, a woman’s instinct to feel protected by her man isn’t about our long forgotten “caveman days” or some other obscure evolutionary theory; it’s about today’s challenging and, sometimes, very dangerous world.
The danger for women is not only about men who might want to hurt or kill her; it’s about the challenge of survival against the elements of nature. Despite our supermarkets, highways and smartphones, human societies are usually just a hurricane or tornado away from basic survival.
We’re not out of the woods yet in terms of having this reality completely under control and whether or not a woman is consciously aware of the fact that we’re only a hurricane or tornado away from basic survival, she is still naturally going to feel more attracted to a man who seems like he would keep her safe under any circumstance. This is her natural instinct and it isn’t something that women will be changing anytime soon.
Should Men and Women Switch Roles?
At this point, some women may think, “Why do men have to keep us safe? Many of us women are perfectly capable of keeping men safe. We can fight in wars or even in cage fights for the UFC, so why can’t we be the ones who protect men?” I say, “some women” because most women still like to feel protected by a man and don’t ever plan on fighting in a war or a bloody cage fight.
It is awesome to see women on the front lines with men and even in the UFC, but that doesn’t mean that men and women need to switch roles completely. I don’t think that women need to take on the role of being “the protector” of men, unless of course an individual woman chooses to do so for her own reasons. In my opinion, women add more value to the world when they “challenge” men to become stronger, instead of trying to “protect” men from the big bad world around them.
Women Challenging Us Men to Become Stronger: Why it’s a Good Thing
Whether a woman knows it or not, her natural reaction to reject the insecure, self-doubting man (who doesn’t make her feel safe) and instead accept the confident, emotionally strong man (who makes her feel safe), actually has a huge benefit for humanity. How so? Her rejection represents a direct challenge to a weak man to either become stronger as a man, or stay single and alone.
Forced with the prospect of loneliness and continued rejection from women for being weak, most men do whatever they can to become more confident and emotionally secure. Instead of rewarding men for being weak, women challenge men to become stronger and this benefits humanity by making us all stronger.
Women Made Me a Stronger Man
It is thanks to the challenging behavior of women that I am able to write this article today with clarity and confidence. Before women challenged me to become the man that I am today, I was nervous, self-doubting and unsure of myself. I had a low level job and suffered from mild social anxiety. I was the same good guy that I am today, but I was mentally and emotionally weak.
Sometimes, usually after having a few drinks, I would work up the courage to approach women and they would immediately challenge me by behaving uninterested, asking me questions designed to make me squirm (e.g. “Why are you talking to us?”) or would simply reject me.
I felt horrible and I was deeply annoyed at women for behaving in that way. However, it wasn’t until I sorted out my emotional issues and became a confident man that women started showing me interest and respect. Instead of rewarding me for my weakness beforehand, women challenged me to become stronger.
When I became confident and emotionally secure, women stopped ignoring me, rejecting me or dumping me and began showing me lots of interest and falling madly in love with me if we happened to start a relationship. It was a nice reward to get for all the hard work I put into improving myself.
Back when I was getting rejected though, I really felt bitter towards women. I saw them as mean, bitchy and stuck up. I hated women and loved them at the same time. Yet, when I became truly confident and was rewarded for it, I gained a newfound respect and appreciation for the contribution that women make to the development, strength and wisdom of humanity. Now, I look at women with love and respect, for it is because of women that I have become the strong man that I am today.
Me getting my dating life sorted out wasn’t the “wider benefit to humanity” that resulted from women challenging me. The bigger benefit was in the strong, clear-headed leader that I became and still am to this day. Due to the massive amount of personal growth I had to go through to become a more confident, emotionally strong and socially intelligent guy (all to get women to feel proper attraction for me), I ended up getting promoted at work (three times in six months).
In response to the challenge from women, I went from being a self-doubting customer service employee on the bottom of the ladder, to a respected leader of international company. I didn’t only become a leader of one team; I became the leader of the managers and began to teach those managers about effective leadership. I rose above all of my prior insecurities and self-doubt and became a powerful, useful man for the world; all thanks to how women treated me.
If they accepted me as a weak man, none of that would have happened and I would not be running The Modern Man today and helping thousands of other guys to transform into confident, more capable men. I always hear back from Modern Man customers who’ve not only fixed their dating life by using my advice, but have gotten promoted at work, improved their relationships with family and friends and become someone that others can look up to.
In my opinion, women don’t need to protect men from the big bad world. Instead, men need women to challenge them to become stronger and to be a pillar of strength for women and the world. In today’s world, a woman can take on the role of being the protector (and do a great job of it), but what will that do to the sexual dynamic between men and women? Is it really a woman’s role to protect men and reward men for being weak? Is it really a man’s role to hide behind women for protection?
The Genius of the Masculine/Feminine Dynamic
When it comes to a sexual relationship between two human beings, there is always someone who is more masculine or more feminine than the other. It is the masculine and feminine difference between two people that creates the sexual attraction, just like positively charged magnets will be attracted to negatively charged magnets and vice versa.
It’s just how nature works.
For instance, in a homosexual relationship, one man is usually more masculine than the other and for a lesbian relationship one woman is usually more feminine than the other. In a heterosexual relationship, the man is traditionally more masculine and the woman more feminine.
So, what does this have to do with a woman’s desire to feel protected by her man? It helps us answer the question of why some women want to feel protected by their man and other women laugh at the notion and declare that they are not interested in having a man give them a feeling of protection.
Generally speaking, a woman who does want to feel protected by her man is usually going to be a more feminine woman at heart. A feminine woman will be more interested in love and relationship that she has with her man. That will be her number one priority in addition to be interested in anything else about life that women tend to be interested in, such as family, music, art, dancing and the beauty of everything.
That’s not to say that a masculine man can’t be interested in those things; some of the best art and music of all time has been created by men. A masculine man can take an interest in anything he likes (even if that means he works as a hairdresser or designs clothes for a living), just like a woman can take an interest in anything she likes.
However, what a guy needs to understand is that a feminine woman (the type of woman who likes being “the woman” or “feeling girly” and doesn’t have a masculine energy where she wants to live life more like a man does) will be more attracted to masculine men who are focused on their purpose in life, who are confident and strong and who are generally considered to be a “man’s man.”
If a guy identifies himself as being masculine and feels mostly attracted to feminine women (just think about the type of porn you jerk off to – that will tell you the type of women you turn you on the most), he will need to think, behave and take action in a very masculine way in life if he wants to attract a feminine woman and maintain her attraction in a long term/lifetime relationship. The more masculine he is, the more naturally attractive he will be to feminine women.
Just in case your wondering, by “masculine” I am not talking about lifting weights to build muscle. The most important masculinity (from a woman’s perspective) is in how you think, behave and take action in life. You can be considered very masculine by women without ever lifting a single dumbbell in the gym.
Yet, it’s important to point out here: Not all women want a very masculine man. The type of woman who doesn’t want to feel protected by her man is usually going to be more masculine at heart. She may have grown up with a father who wanted a son, but never got one and showed more love to his daughter when she behaved like a boy, so she developed that type of personality. Or, she may just have been born with a more masculine energy, which is just as common.
A masculine woman will be more interested in her career and will usually prefer a more feminine man who will essentially let her wear the pants in a relationship. There’s nothing wrong with a woman being more masculine at heart and having a more feminine man; if that’s what makes both of them happy, then go for it.
Yet, I have found that the majority of women who have a subservient man or feminine man, wish they had a more masculine man; a man who wears the pants in a relationship and naturally makes them feel safe and protected.
Understanding Modern Women and the Lingering Attraction Instinct
Although most modern women are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves in a well-functioning society, when times get tough (e.g. during a natural disaster) or when her life or safety is threatened, she may sometimes feel as though she needs the mental, emotional and even physical strength of a man to stand in front of her and protect her.
Some women (i.e. those who are more masculine at heart or physically stronger than most other women) may not have that need and will feel as though they can fight their own battles. However, the majority of women still have the lingering attraction instinct to confident, masculine men who can protect them from the challenges of life. It is hard-wired into our species and I don’t think it will be changing anytime soon.
What I Love About the Dynamic Between Men and Women
What I love most about the dynamic between men and women is how it challenges men to grow and become stronger. Instead of slowing the human race down by rewarding emotionally weak, insecure men with sex, love and devotion, women speed up the progress of humanity by maintaining their preference for confident, emotionally strong men.
If men became afraid to stand up to the challenges of life and instead wanted to feel protected by their woman, what sort of world would we be living in? Is it really the role of women to protect weak men, or are women achieving more for humanity by challenging men to become stronger?