Here are 4 examples of how you can ask your ex to hang out:
1. Hang out as friends
Of course, when you catch up, you won’t actually be acting like a friend.
You will be actively making her feel sexually attracted to you again, so you can seduce her back into a relationship.
However, it’s best to refer to it as just catching up as friends rather than catching up to discuss the relationship.
This is why you should always be open to being so called ‘friends’ with your ex, rather than saying that being friends would be too difficult to handle for you, or that you only want to speak to her again if she wants a relationship.
You have to be more subtle and smart about it.
When you are ‘friends’ with your ex, you then have a good excuse to interact with her via text, e-mail, social media, over the phone and of course, in person, without her feeling like you’re pressuring her to get back together again.
So, if your ex doesn’t want to get back together right away and is unsure about hanging out with you, here’s what you can do…
Remain confident and in a friendly, easy-going way say to her, “Hey, look – I accept that we’re broken up and it’s fine by me. However, even though we’re not getting back together, we can at least catch up and say hi as friends. So, let’s do that today/tomorrow.”
She will most likely say, “Okay, I guess,” because you’re taking the pressure off her to get back together again by saying that it’s just about catching up as friends.
As I mentioned earlier, don’t act like a friend when you hang out.
You’ve got to focus on making her feel sexually and romantically attracted to you again, rather than placing yourself in the friend zone by being nice, neutral and friendly.
If you waste the time you have with her by being on your best behavior (e.g. remaining neutral around her, pretending you don’t want her back, being extra polite and considerate, not flirting), she’s not going to feel motivated to change her mind about being broken up.
Instead, she might enjoy a non-sexual friendship with you, while at the same time, she will secretly focus on finding and hooking up with a new guy who does make her feel sexually and romantically attracted.
So, make sure that you actively make her feel sparks of sexual and romantic attraction when you meet up with her.
Then, if you and her are feeling attracted to each other, initiate a kiss, have sex and get the relationship back together.
Another example of how to ask your ex to hang out is to…
2. Catch up to say hi
One of the best ways to ask an ex to hang out is by suggesting you and her catch up to say hi.
For example: When chatting to her on the phone and after getting her to smile and laugh for a bit, you can say, “Hey, we should catch up for a coffee sometime this to say hi. Of course, it’s not about us getting back together or anything like that. Instead, it will be good to just put the past behind us and catch up to say hi. So, what do you say? Let’s catch up tomorrow or the next day to say hi.”
By asking to meet up in that way, it makes it a lot more difficult for her to refuse, without making herself come across as being emotionally immature and as though she is holding grudges.
So, to seem mature, a woman will usually say “Yes,” to catching up to say hi.
You can then go ahead and make arrangements to meet up with her as soon as possible.
Of course once again, don’t waste the meet up by being Mr. Nice Guy or Mr. Neutral around her.
Use the opportunity to spark her feelings of respect and sexual attraction for you and get her thinking things like, “Wow, I was kind of nervous about seeing him again, but this turned out better than I thought. He has changed so much since the break up. I don’t know what has gotten into me, but I’m starting to wonder if maybe we can work things out between us after all.”
When she starts thinking that way, her walls come down and you can then guide her back into a relationship with you.
Another example of how to ask your ex to hang out, is to…
3. Catch up to say goodbye and then not speak anymore
In a situation where a woman is saying things like, “No, I don’t want to hang out with you,” or “Please stop asking me to catch up. I don’t want to see you again. It’s over. Please accept that” you can suggest meeting up to say goodbye.
For example: You might say to her, “Okay, I get it. You want to close the door on our relationship and move on. I totally accept that we have broken up. All I want is for us to catch up one last time to say goodbye in person. That’s all. After that, we never have to speak to each other again. Think of it as a way for both of us to get closure, or at least a way for us to end the relationship in a more mature way.”
In most cases, a woman will agree to it to avoid appearing childish or immature compared to how you are handling the situation, or to finalize the relationship and have an excuse to reject you from then on.
Yet, what she doesn’t realize is that at the meet up, you’re going to be saying and doing the type of things that will reawaken her feelings for you.
You’re going to make her laugh and smile and feel good to be hanging out with you again.
You’re going to flirt with her and make her feel like a feminine woman in your presence.
When she starts experiencing the kind of feelings that she thought she’d never feel for you again (e.g. respect, attraction, excitement, love), her guard will naturally come down and she will want to hang out more to see where things go from there.
So, don’t worry about saying that it’s a meet up to say goodbye.
It won’t be goodbye because you will re-attract her and she will want to see you again, or possibly even get back with you right then and there.
Another example of how to ask your ex to hang out, is…
4. With a promise that you will never contact her again after that
Only use this approach if your ex currently hates you and doesn’t want to see you ever again.
For example: You might say to her, “Okay, I get it. You hate me and you want me out of your life for good. So, look…I promise that if you meet up with me this one, last time, I will completely leave you alone and never contact you again. So, let’s meet this week and you can then be done with me forever. It doesn’t have to be a long catch up. All I’m asking for is 5 minutes. It’s a simple coffee to catch up, say hi and say goodbye to each other. Then, I will never, ever contact you again if that’s what you want.”
Then use this ‘last meet up’ to re-attract her so she actually does want to see you again.
Of course, if your ex really hates you at the moment, then she might try hard to prevent you from being able to re-attract her.
For example: She might try to make you lose confidence by…
- Acting bored and disinterested during the conversation.
- Calling you insulting names and blaming you for all the problems in the relationship.
- Looking at you with cold eyes when you make a joke.
- Rolling her eyes at you as though you’re wasting her time.
- Pretending to be very happy without you.
Essentially, she will try to make you crumble under pressure, so she can then feel turned off by your lack of confidence.
When she’s feeling turned off, she can then say, “Okay, you’ve had your meet up. Now leave me alone. I never want to see you again. Goodbye!”
The tests are going to come, so make sure that you’re ready to face her with confidence and a calm, easy-going, light-hearted attitude.
Don’t panic and start thinking things like, “Oh, no! It’s over! She’s just not interested! She’s going to walk away from this meet up and I’m never going to see her again. It’s hopeless!”
If you do, she will see the panic in your eyes and it will turn her off.
Remember: Women are always attracted to confidence in men and turned off by insecurity and self doubt.
So, to regain her respect and attraction, you need to remain emotionally strong no matter what she says and does to throw you off.
The more you maintain your confidence around her regardless of how she’s behaving, the more respect and attraction she will feel for you, even if she doesn’t want to.
You can then build on those feelings and make her feel like it would be good to catch up again.
From there getting her back becomes easier, because you will have another chance to build on her feelings and kiss and hook up sexually.
3 Mistakes to Avoid Making When Asking Your Ex to Hang Out
Asking an ex to hang out is a great approach to getting her back.
The more you can interact with her face-to-face, the more you will be able to regain her respect.
When she can respect you, she will automatically feel attracted to you again and with those two things in place, reconnecting with her feelings of love becomes easy and natural for her.
That’s how it’s supposed to work.
Unfortunately, many guys mess up their chances to get a woman back by making one or more of the following mistakes…
1. Asking her via text
Sometimes when a woman isn’t very open to interacting with her ex (e.g. she only texts him once in a while, or responds to him via social media), a guy might make the mistake of thinking he can initiate a meet up via text.
For example: A guy might think to himself, “She hasn’t given me too many obvious signs that she wants to talk to me on the phone. So, I’ll just play it safe and ask her via text. That way, she won’t feel pressured. She will be able to think about it in her own time and give me an answer when she’s ready. She’ll also be grateful to me for not being pushy or putting her on the spot on a phone call, so she will be more inclined to say yes to catching up.”
Yet, in most cases, the opposite is true.
Rather than think, “Awww…he’s being so sweet by asking me to catch up via text,” she will likely think, “He wants to hang out, but he doesn’t even have the balls to ask me directly. He’s just hiding behind texts and hoping that I’ll make it easy for him. This only highlights how insecure and self-doubting he is, which convinces me even more that he’s not the right guy for me. He doesn’t even have the balls to call me. What’s he scared of? That I will say no? Where is his backbone? He’s just not confident enough anymore…I’m over it. I need a more confident man.”
Here’s the thing…
A text message is only a bunch of words on a screen.
It’s not you.
It’s just words on her phone, or on her computer if you’re messaging her that way.
She knows that you could be saying one thing and feeling another, so she will be naturally suspicious of anything you text her.
Rather than giving you the benefit of the doubt and assume that you were feeling confident and emotionally strong when you sent her a text to ask her to hang out, a woman will usually think about you based on how she felt when you and her broke up.
For example: If you were a bit insecure, self-doubting and needy in the relationship, she will likely assume that you’re still the same guy.
She will assume that you still lack confidence and doubt yourself, which is why you’re asking her via text, rather than calling her on the phone.
Of course, some guys think, “She probably doesn’t want to talk to me on the phone. She prefers text. I just want to do what she wants.”
You’ve got to do what works.
If you just text her, she is more likely to reject you or play hard to get.
It’s also so much easier for her to assume the worst about you (i.e. that you’re needy now, have lost a lot of confidence in yourself) and refuse to meet up with you because of that.
So, if you want to get her to hang out, don’t hide behind texts and hope that she makes it easy for you.
Most women don’t make it easy for an ex that they’re no longer attracted to.
On a phone call, you can make her feel so much more attraction and then, she is less likely to say no, or to play hard to get when she’s smiling, laughing and enjoying talking to you.
Of course, that doesn’t mean you can’t ever text her.
A text or two can definitely help to get her smiling and laughing a little bit so she will be more open to talking to you over the phone, but it usually won’t do enough to guarantee a meet up.
If you want to ask her to hang out, it’s much better done on a phone call.
When she can hear the confidence in your voice (especially if she’s being cold and aloof towards you), her guard will come down and she will want to see you in person to confirm for herself that you truly have changed.
Another mistake to avoid making is…
2. Asking her if it’s okay to catch up
Just like how a woman doesn’t like when an insecure guy asks if it’s okay to kiss her, a woman also doesn’t like it if an insecure ex asks if it’s okay to meet up with her.
A woman wants to know that the man she’s with is confident enough to take the lead and guide them both back into a relationship, without her guidance and support.
A woman doesn’t want to hold a guy’s hand and pat him on the back and say, “Yes, good boy…that’s it. You can do it.”
She wants him to man up and take the lead, without needing her to push him along.
So, what should you do instead?
Be a good guy and be respectful, but be assertive.
Tell her to catch up with you in a confident, easy-going manner.
If she says that she isn’t sure, just tell her that it’s totally fine for ex’s to catch up and say hi.
If she still resists, you can say that the catch up can be a way for both of you to get closure and completely end the relationship.
If she still says no, tell her that if she agrees to meet up, you promise to never contact her again.
Essentially, be confident, be assertive and be a good guy as you try to get you and her to meet up to have a quick catch up as friends.
Then, when you catch up, re-attract her and if she is feeling open to you again, you can then get her back.
Another mistake to avoid making is…
3. Letting her sense that you don’t actually want to hang out and secretly want to have a serious relationship
When a woman is at a point where she’s not interested in even thinking about getting back together with her ex, she’s going to be suspicious about anything he suggests.
If he puts pressure on her to hang out, she will begin to wonder things like, “Is this a trap to get me to go out with him again, so he can then convince me to give him another chance? Is he trying to force me into a relationship with him again? Will the catch up turn into a long, drawn out deep and meaningful conversation where he pleads with me to give him another chance?”
If she gets that sense, she will almost certainly say, “No” to catching up and will try to move on without him as quickly as she can, to avoid getting dragged back into a relationship with a guy who hasn’t even changed.
So, if you want your ex to be open to hanging out, make sure that she gets the sense that you’re not going to be pushing for a relationship.
Then, when you hang out with her, focus on making her feel a renewed sense of respect and sexual attraction for you.
When she feels that way, she will naturally drop her guard and open back up to you.
Before you know it, you and her will be kissing, having sex and then laying in bed talking about how good it is to be back together.