Some guys never find out that making an ex woman feel sorry for them isn’t the best approach to use to get her back.
As a result, many of those guys make one or more of the following mistakes, which end up pushing the woman away further.
1. Trying to show her how sad and lost he is without her, to hopefully make her to feel guilty enough to change her mind about the break up
When she was in love with him, she would most likely care if he wasn’t feel happy and would want to make him feel happy.
She was okay about doing that every now and then because he was the man that she loved and wanted to be with.
Yet, now that she has broken up with him, he is no longer her responsibility.
As a result, in almost all cases, a woman simply isn’t going to care of feel compelled to rush to her ex and help him feel better about himself if he seems sad, lost or lonely without her.
Unfortunately, a lot of guys don’t realize that and end up posting lonely photos (e.g. photo of a beach or landscape that he took by himself, a selfie of himself at home, a photo of his pet dog or cat) or updates on social media (e.g. talking about how difficult love and relationships can be), or telling mutual friends how much he misses her in the hope that they will tell her, she will feel sorry for him and then get back with him to make him feel better.
Yet, it almost never works out that way because women aren’t attracted to emotional weakness in men; especially when it comes to an ex man that they’ve dumped.
So, rather than making her want to get back into a relationship with him, she loses attraction for him for being emotionally weak and feels even more certain about her decision to move on without him.
As a result, she opens herself to dating and having sexual encounters with men to find herself a new boyfriend, or to just have fun for a while and enjoy the single life.
While doing that, she might occasionally feel sorry for her ex (if he hasn’t been able to move on, or figure out how to re-attract her and get her back), but she isn’t going to run back to him if she’s having fun and enjoying herself with new men; especially if those men are much more confident than her ex.
Instead, she’s going to feel as though her ex is showing her that he’s no match for her anymore and she was right to break up with him, to focus on finding herself a more confident, emotionally strong man.
So, if your aim is to get back into a relationship with your ex, make sure that you don’t let her see how sad you are without her.
Instead, show her that even though you still care about her and want her back, you don’t need her back.
Don’t tell her that, of course, as it’s not a nice thing to say and will result in her wanting to get emotional revenge on you.
Instead, just let her see it and feel it based on what you post on social media (i.e. photos of you having fun with other people), or how you talk to and interact with her (i.e. you flirt and joke around with her, but aren’t pushing for a relationship and seem totally confident, fulfilled and happy without her).
That is what makes women feel attracted to men after a break up.
They don’t go around admitting it though because they don’t want to encourage men to act totally uninterested.
Just think about what happens when women say, “I just want a nice guy.”
Millions of men all over the world hear women say things like that and end up behaving VERY nicely towards women, to the point where they are total pushovers who are trying to suck up to women and hope to be chosen for their niceness.
This is why women can’t say what they really want from a man.
If they were to say, “What makes me want to get back with an ex is when he seems totally happy without me and doesn’t even care if he wants me back,” because it would result in men saying to women, “I don’t care about getting you back. I’m happy without you” or acting very uninterested in the woman.
So, women keep quiet about what actually works on them and the men who understand it, are the ones who enjoy easy, consistent success with women.
In terms of getting your ex back, you’ve got to understand that she will respond with feelings of respect, attraction and love and will miss you if she can sense that you are honestly happy, enjoying life and making progress with or without her.
She may pretend to be offended or shocked if you seem so happy without her, but that’s just to check if you’re faking it.
If you are honestly happy without her, then you will be able to sincerely respond to any fake anger, shock, disappointment or offense from her (about you seeming happy without her), by saying something like, “Hey, you were the one who broke up with me, remember? What did you want me to do? Sit around and do nothing for the next 10 years? I do still love you, but I am enjoying my life. I’m not going to let the break up ruin my zest for life. I love life and want to enjoy it. No disrespect to you, but I have to take care of myself. We’re not a couple anymore.”
It might sound risky to say something like that to her, but it’s the sort of thing that makes her feel rejected, left behind and sad that she doesn’t have you, which makes her want you back.
Additionally, you’re also being a good man to her when saying something like that, which makes her respect you.
You’re not saying it in a mean way and instead, are saying it with love and respect.
So, she can’t be mad at you for being mean, rude or selfish.
Instead, she can only walk away feeling regret for breaking up with you and a desire to get back with you to stop the emotional pain she is feeling.
That is what works.
On the other hand, trying to make a woman feel sorry for you to hopefully get her back rarely, if ever works because women simply aren’t attracted to emotional weakness in men.
Instead, by making her feel sorry for you, it will simply cause her to feel more attracted to confident, happy, high-self esteem men who don’t need her pity because women are attracted to the emotional strength in men, not the emotional weakness.
Another mistake to avoid making is…
2. Not understanding what kind of attraction experience she really wants
A guy gets into a relationship with a girl and initially, things go well because he is confident around her and in life, treats her well and makes her feel loved and appreciated.
He also makes her feel the need to impress him too, which she really loves.
So, they are enjoying a relationship that is exciting, enjoyable and attractive for the both of them.
Then, one day, the guy starts becoming insecure and jealous.
He worries about who she might be chatting to on her phone.
He asks her if she is flirting with other guys and seems worried, which makes her look at him as being an insecure guy who doesn’t believe in his value and attractiveness to her.
As a result, she starts to lose a bit of respect for him, but puts up with it because the relationship is otherwise all good.
Yet, a week later, he ends up telling her that he has serious trust issues because a previous girlfriend cheated on him.
He tells her that he wants to be able to monitor what she is doing on her phone, by being able to check her messages whenever he feels like it.
She feels disappointed that after all the love she has shown him and the fact that their relationship has been great, he doesn’t trust her and wants to monitor her to be sure.
She also finds that insulting and is annoyed that he is looking at her as being an untrustworthy woman.
She realizes that he hasn’t been able to deal with the issues he’s faced in his life prior to meeting her and is now using those issues to cause problems with her.
Suddenly, she begins to look at him as a needy, insecure boyfriend and assumes that his previous girlfriend probably cheated on him because she was turned off by his insecurity.
As a result, she looks at him as an unattractive guy and begins questioning whether or not she is making a huge mistake by being with him.
She then begins to push him away, until she eventually breaks up with him.
Now, can you see what happened to the attraction experience in that relationship?
She went from feeling respect, attraction and love for him based on his initial approach to the relationship, to feeling disappointment and even disgust for the insecure guy he became, or turned out to be in the end.
It was the SAME guy with the same appearance, but he suddenly became very unattractive to her based on the unappealing experience he caused her to continually have to face in the relationship.
The relationship could have worked, but he messed it up by becoming so insecure, needy, jealous and controlling.
How about you?
What happened between you and her?
Did you start off giving her the kind of attraction experience she wants in a relationship, but then mess that up by changing your behavior around her, or your treatment of her?
That is what really counts to her.
If you want to get her back, you have to become very clear on how you messed up, so you can then make the correct adjustments to your thinking, behavior and treatment of her.
When you do that, she will naturally and automatically feel differently when interacting with you, which will allow her to see that a relationship with you now really would be so much better.
When she feels that, she can then begin to open up to the idea of getting back to you.
When she does that, she will also realize that if she doesn’t get back with you right away, other women are going to find the new, improved version of you so much more attractive and she might end up losing you.
As a result, she feels compelled to get something going between you and her as soon as possible.
Yet, if you’re just using the flawed strategy of hoping she will get back with you based on feeling sorry for you, then you’re probably going to end up feeling sorry for yourself when she moves on.
Another mistake to avoid making is…
3. Assuming that since making people feel sorry for him worked as a boy, it will work now that he is a grown man
If a young boy cries and makes people feel sorry for him (e.g. his parents, teachers, older siblings), he will usually get his way, or at least be shown love and attention.
Yet, when a guy becomes a man, those rules no longer apply.
In fact, if he cries or regularly seeks pity, people will see him as a bit of loser, even though to his face, they might be nice and show him some sympathy or empathy.
In terms of women, they are instinctively turned off when a grown man hopes to make a woman feel sorry for him and essentially come to his rescue like people did when he was a boy.
Of course, women don’t go around telling men about this.
For example: Some women will say that men should cry like and be vulnerable or emotionally sensitive, but that’s just political correctness.
In reality, women are sexually attracted to a man when he doesn’t need a woman to rescue him, pity him or feel sorry for him in any way.
Women see that man as a real man, whereas they secretly see men who seek pity as being pussies.
It’s not just something they can openly admit though, due to political correctness and due to the fear of confrontation they naturally have when it comes to men (i.e. they don’t want to make a man angry and have him become violent or aggressive in response to being called a pussy.
So, women resort to being nice and showing sympathy to pussy men, but secretly feel deeply turned off by them and want absolutely nothing to do with them sexually, or romantically.
This is why, when a guy is trying to get his ex back by making her feel sorry for him, she might be nice to him, but she will reject his attempts to get back with her and will try to find herself a replacement guy as soon as possible.
She can then scare him off by saying something like, “I’ve got a new boyfriend now and he doesn’t want me talking to you. So, don’t contact me anymore. I wish you all the best. Goodbye.”
Another mistake to avoid making is…
4. Not realizing that he can get his ex woman back quickly and easily by making her feel jealous and left behind, rather than making her feel pity for him
Feeling jealous, left behind, rejected and unwanted by an ex man that she feels attracted to, is one of the fastest ways to make a woman want to get back with him.
Yet, as you would probably know by now, making her feel sorry for you isn’t the way to make her feel that attraction.
What will make her feel attracted is when she can see that you are living a happy, confident, enjoyable life around other people.
Of course, that’s one of the LAST things a guy wants to do when he has been dumped and is now heartbroken and missing his ex girl.
…and that’s the reason why it works.
When a guy focuses on getting on with his life after the break up (e.g. by going out with his friends and having fun, meeting and hanging out with new women, doing exciting things that he never used to do with her), his ex woman automatically feels attracted to his emotional strength and ability to get back on his own two feet without her around.
That gets her attention and she wonders why he is feeling so confident and happy without her.
Additionally, if she’s not feeling very happy, or hasn’t really been enjoying life since the break up, she can end up feeling the one who is being left behind.
She broke up with him, but now she feels like the one who has been broken up with.
That makes her feel motivated to reach out to him, flirt with him and even get him back to make herself feel better again.
On the other hand, if her ex’s strategy to get her back is to make her feel sorry for him, she will feel turned off and will focus on moving on.