When trying to get your ex back, you have to be careful that you don’t believe in some of the myths out there about what you have to do.
There are many different opinions on what you should do to get your ex woman back and that is fine.
Everyone is entitled to their opinion.
However, if you believe in any of the following myths and you follow through on it, it will most likely stop you from getting your ex back…
Myth 1: Both you and her need 30 days to heal
While it is true that some people need exactly 30 days or exactly 60 days to heal, it just doesn’t apply to most situations.
For example: Some guys don’t need any time to heal after the breakup. They just want to get their woman back and are ready to do so now.
Likewise, sometimes a woman breaks up with a guy and she doesn’t need to heal because she doesn’t feel attracted to him anymore.
She’s not interested in the relationship and she just wants to move on. She’s fine.
In other cases, sometimes a guy just needs a few days to calm down, gather his thoughts and prepare to re-attract his ex.
Sometimes a guy needs a week to do that.
However, what you’ll find is that a lot of people will say that you have to cut off contact and heal for 30 days.
Some people will even say you have to heal for 60 days.
Here’s the thing though…
I’ve been helping guys to get women back for years now and sometimes I find that a guy hasn’t healed in YEARS.
His woman broke up with him 3, 4, 5, even 10 years ago and he’s still not over it.
Time is not the answer.
Being away from her for 30 days and trying to heal is not the answer.
Even if you do heal during 30 days and you feel better about yourself, you’re over her, you don’t really need her back, then it doesn’t guarantee that you’re going to get her back.
It’s all about attraction.
The main reason why your ex doesn’t want to be with you at the moment is that she’s not feeling attracted to you.
If you give her 30 days to heal and get over you, it’s not necessarily going to make her feel attracted to you again.
It will in some cases. That is true.
For example: Some women will have time apart from their guy and they’ll end up thinking, “Well, he wasn’t that bad after all. Maybe I should give him another chance.”
Yet, what I’ve found is that most guys don’t get that result.
Most guys who go through with the myth of “You’ve got to give her 30 days to heal and yourself 30 days to heal” get nothing in the end.
So, while you do need to calm down your thoughts and regain control of your emotions to be able to get her back, you also need to be able to re-attract her.
When you interact with her again after giving her some space, you’ve got to be able to make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.
If you don’t do that, then giving her time to heal will be a huge waste of time and will most likely result in her moving on.
Myth 2: Cutting off contact will get any woman back
It’s true that cutting off contact with a woman after a breakup can get her back in some cases.
For example: If a woman is inexperienced with relationships and can’t handle the pain of a breakup, then she will most likely contact her ex when he doesn’t contact her.
Another example is where she is still in love with her ex guy and when he doesn’t contact her, it hurts her so much.
She can’t get over not being with him.
In those cases, it can work, but here’s the thing…
I’ve been helping guys to get women back for many years now and I rarely come across a case where the woman is still in love with her guy and she can’t deal with not being with him anymore.
Guys who are in that situation don’t really need help to get their ex back!
The majority of guys who need help to get their ex back are in a situation where their woman doesn’t want to be with him anymore.
She has lost respect for him, she doesn’t feel attracted to him anymore and she’s no longer in love with him.
She doesn’t want to be in the relationship.
So, when he cuts off communication and just waits and hopes that she will come running back to him, it doesn’t happen.
Additionally, when he’s been cutting off communication for 30 days, he’s been going through a living nightmare, a living hell.
He’s been worrying the whole time, missing her, hasn’t been able to eat or sleep properly.
Food that he usually enjoys just doesn’t taste so good anymore.
He’s not really interested in things that he used to be interested in.
He’s just thinking about her and missing her.
Yet, he’s not improving his chances of getting her back because she doesn’t feel respect and attraction for him.
She’s not in love with him.
So, the fact that he isn’t contacting her doesn’t mean much to her at all. She doesn’t really care.
What I’ve found is that in cases like that, a guy needs to be active rather than inactive.
By active, I mean that the guy needs to actively improve his ability to re-attract his ex.
He needs to get prepared to interact with her on the phone and in person so he can properly re-attract her.
He can make her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for him.
He then needs to actively get her on a phone call and actively get her to meet up with him and actively attract her. He needs to do something about it.
By inactive, I mean that a guy just cuts off communication with his ex and hopes that she comes back because he’s cutting off communication.
What I want you to know is that it’s a myth that you can get pretty much any woman back by simply cutting off communication with her.
It is true that some women will come back if a guy cuts off communication, but those women are the minority.
Those women are the ones who are still in love with their ex, can’t move on without him, they’re inexperienced with relationships and can’t find a suitable replacement guy.
Here’s the thing…
Even if a woman is kind of missing her ex because he hasn’t been contacting her, he runs the risk that she will then find a new guy more interesting and attractive and hook up with him.
If she was kind of hurting because he wasn’t contacting her, a woman will usually try to fast-track their relationship.
She will hook up with a guy very quickly and focus on all of his good qualities so she can fall in love with him.
The new guy might not be perfect for her, but she’s going to try to make herself feel better about the fact that her ex hasn’t been contacting her.
Of course, that’s if she actually cares at all.
A lot of women don’t care about their ex guy after they’ve broken up with him because they don’t feel respect, attraction and love for him anymore.
When she broke up with him, she was over it.
She didn’t want to be with him anymore.
He wasn’t able to make her respect him.
He wasn’t able to make her feel attracted in the way that she wanted and she wasn’t in love with him anymore.
So, when he stops communicating with her, he simply makes it easier for her to move on.
He doesn’t interrupt the process of her getting over him by re-attracting her and getting her back.
What I always recommend is that a guy gives his woman 3 to 7 days of space.
During that time, he doesn’t just sit around doing nothing!
He improves his ability to re-attract her.
He gets ready to re-attract her on the phone, to re-attract her in person.
Then when he does actually contact her on the phone and meet up with her in person, he re-attracts her, he makes her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for him.
What I’ve found is that in ex back cases where the woman doesn’t want anything to do with the guy anymore, that is the only thing that works.
Sometimes it does work to cut off communication when the woman is inexperienced, she can’t move on, etc., but in most cases, it just doesn’t work and the guy ends up missing out on his opportunity to get her back.
He could have got her back in so many of those cases, but by simply believing in that myth that cutting off communication gets any woman back, he misses out on getting her back.
Myth 3: You should refuse a friendship with your ex and say that you only want a romantic relationship
The thing is, it kind of sounds tough to say that you only want a relationship or nothing.
It’s like, “Hey – I don’t stand for that. If you don’t want to be anything other than my girlfriend or my wife, then I can’t have anything to do with you. I won’t accept that. A friendship isn’t good enough for me. You have to give me a relationship or nothing.”
It sounds tough.
It sounds cool.
It sounds like you’re standing your ground, yet it doesn’t actually work to get an ex woman back in almost all cases.
She doesn’t feel respect, attraction and love for the guy.
She’s over it.
She wants to break up with him.
Why is she going to commit to a full-on romantic, sexual, loving relationship when she’s not even feeling respect, attraction and love for him?
A comparative example of that is like going up to a woman in a bar and saying, “Hey, look. If I’m going to talk to you, I need a guarantee that you actually want to have sex with me tonight. I don’t want to stay in here talking to you for 30 minutes or an hour and then I don’t end up banging you. Look. I find you attractive. I want to have sex with you, so just make it clear for me now that if I talk to you, you’re going to let me bang you.”
Of course, that approach doesn’t work.
It might sound cool, it might sound tough, it might sound like, “Yeah! That’s how we should talk to women!” but it’s not going to work unless the woman is really drunk or really unattractive.
Most women are going to be saying things like, “Get away from me,” because the attraction isn’t mutual yet.
You see, most men can feel instantly attracted to a woman’s physical appearance and want to have sex with her regardless of what she’s interested in, what she wants to talk about, what brand of clothes she’s wearing and all that sort of stuff.
The guy finds her attractive.
He wants to have sex with her.
Yet, for a woman to want to have sex with a guy, he needs to be able to make her feel attracted when he talks to her.
That way, it’s a fair value exchange.
She’s feeling attracted, he’s feeling attracted. “Okay, now it’s mutual. Let’s get something going on.”
The same principle of there needing to be mutual attraction applies when you’re getting an ex back.
In order for a woman to want to get back with her ex, he needs to make her have feelings for him again so the feelings are mutual.
If she says that she’s willing to be friends with him and keep the lines of communication open and he goes and says, “Well, no. I only want a romantic relationship with you. If you’re not interested in a serious relationship, then I can’t have anything to do with you. It’s too difficult for me.”
If he does that, he’s jumping the gun.
He’s trying to get the result before he’s even put in what is required to get the result, which is create mutual feelings.
He feels attracted to her, he feels in love with her, but he’s got to make her feel the same way first.
So, that’s another myth that you’ll come across out there where people say that it’s cool and tough to not accept a friendship with your ex initially.
Some people will have the opinion that you have to stand your ground and say that you only want a romantic relationship.
Yet, that just doesn’t work because the feelings aren’t mutual at that point.
It’s like walking up to a woman in a bar and saying, “Hey. I’m only going to talk to you if you suck me off tonight. I’m only going to talk to you if you end up going home with me and I can bang you. Otherwise, I’m not going to waste my time.”
It sounds cool, it sounds tough, but that’s not what actually works.
What works is when you make a woman feel attracted to you.
You make her feel respect.
You make her feel love.
You create a situation where there are mutual feelings.
When there are mutual feelings, a woman wants more than just a friendship.
This is why the myth that you should never ever accept a friendship situation with your ex initially, causes so many guys to lose their ex woman.
He could have gotten her back, but he said no to an opportunity to re-attract her.
What I recommend that you do instead is that you accept the friendship, but you don’t act like a friend.
Think about it when you’re picking up women, when you’re on a date or even when you’re in a relationship.
If you want the woman to want you sexually, you don’t just act like a friend.
If you’re meeting a woman for the first time and you don’t make them feel sexually attracted to you and you just make them see you as a friend, then they’re not interested in almost all cases.
If you’re on a date with a girl and you’re not flirting with her and creating a spark, she’s just going to say, “I think we’re better off as friends. Let’s just leave it at that.”
If you’re in a relationship or a marriage and you treat your woman like a friend and you just act like a friend, then the sexual spark is going to die out.
Likewise, when you’re getting your ex back, you have to focus on actively making her feel sexually attracted to you.
How can you do that?
You’ve got to be able to interact with her.
You’ve got to be able to talk to her on the phone and meet up with her in person.
What better way to do that than to be friends?
Of course, you’re not going to be her friend if you’re making her feel sexually attracted!
The relationship is going to get back together naturally (and very quickly, if not instantly) on the basis of attraction.
She is going to feel sparks of sexual and romantic attraction for you and as a result, she simply won’t be looking at you as a “just a friend.”
Where guys go wrong is that they accept a friendship with their ex and then they act like a friend.
They are nice and neutral and sweet and supportive and they listen and they’re patient and they’re understanding and blah, blah, blah.
That doesn’t make a woman feel turned on.
Women do like it when a guy is a good guy and all that sort of stuff, but what is most important is that when you’re interacting with her, you make her feel a sexual spark with you.
You make her feel a romantic spark with you.
You make her look at you as not being just a friend.
Myth 4: You should ignore breadcrumbs from your ex
Breadcrumbs from an ex are essentially any type of contact or interest shown, where she doesn’t directly ask to have a relationship with you again (e.g. she texts you, “Hey, how are you?” or clicks like on one of your posts on social media).
This myth is tied up into the whole No Contact madness that you’ll find out there online.
People will say, “If you go No Contact, it means no contact. If your ex contacts you and she says anything other than ‘I want to get you back’ just ignore her text. Ignore anything that she sends to you.”
Yet, here’s the thing…
Women don’t always say what they want directly.
Sometimes they just give you hints and subtle cues and they show a little bit of interest.
Sometimes a woman is afraid that you’re going to reject her.
She’s afraid that you’ve gotten over her and when she sends you a message and says that she wants to get back with you, you’re going to say, “No. I’m not interested,” and then she is going to be the one who is feeling her after the breakup.
She broke up with you, so she got away with feeling a lot of the pain that the person who gets dumped feels.
So, what women will often do when they want to get their ex back who isn’t contacting them is that they’ll send little messages here and there.
She might say, “I miss you.” She might say “Happy birthday.” She might say, “I left something at your house that I want to pick up.”
She might ask you something random about whatever.
Yet, what you’ll find out there online when people are discussing how to get their ex back on forums, is that they will say, “Just ignore anything that isn’t an explicit request to get back with you. If she just wants to send you bread crumbs and mess with your head, then don’t reply. Just give her some of her own medicine.”
That’s just not going to work in most cases, because most women aren’t going to be very direct about wanting you back.
They’re just going to give you hints and cues.
Additionally, what I’ve also found by looking at forums and I’ve read thousands of posts, by the way, is that women will often get on the forums and say, “I sent my ex a text and I want him back. And he didn’t reply. What should I do now?”
Then I read another forum post by a guy saying, “I want my ex back so bad. I miss her, but I’m doing No Contact. She sent me a text about something random and I ignored it. Am I doing the right thing?”
Pretty much everyone on the forum who hasn’t ever gotten an ex back will then chime in and say, “Yeah, yeah, just ignore her. If she’s not asking to get back with you, just ignore her.”
It’s just silly.
If you want to get your ex woman back, you have to be more mature about it.
You have to be the more emotionally strong one.
You have to be the man.
You have to be willing to take the risk to go through the process with her, go through the ex back process.
Get her back.
Take the risk to be the one who can potentially get rejected.
However, you’re not going to get rejected if you’re focused on attraction.
If you’re making her feel a renewed sense of respect and attraction for you, then she is going to start to want to get back into a relationship with you.
She’s going to start feeling drawn to you.
She’s going to start missing you and thinking, “Why are we not together? Why am I imagining kissing him all of a sudden? Why am I imagining being in his arms again? Why do I want to be back with him?”
So it’s important to understand that there is a myth out there that you should ignore breadcrumbs or little teasers or feeler texts from your ex.
I say no to that.
I say be a man about it.
Take the opportunity and use it as a way to make her feel attracted to you again.
Joke around with her via text.
Get her on a phone call.
Get her to meet up with you and re-attract her the whole way.
Make her feel that renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.
By the way…
An example of re-attracting your ex is to understand exactly where you were going wrong and where you turned her off.
In a lot of cases, this is going to be different to what your woman said to you when she broke up with you.
Sometimes a woman will say something like, “I just need space. I need time by myself. I don’t want to be in a relationship anymore. I don’t know if I’m in love with you anymore. I just don’t feel the same way anymore. I can’t be in a relationship at the moment” and so on.
She’ll give you all sorts of random, vague reasons like that.
However, one of the real reasons that a woman will break up with a guy is that he’s just not man enough for her emotionally.
He’s too insecure or too emotionally sensitive.
He allows her to walk all over him or he thinks that letting her have most or all of the power is going to make her happy.
He’s just not man enough for her.
Now, in most cases, a woman doesn’t want to tell a guy that when she’s breaking up with him.
Many reasons but, to name a few…
One, she doesn’t want to feel like she’s his teacher in life about how to be a man.
Two, she doesn’t want to feel like the changes that he will make all of a sudden are fake. He might start acting like more of a man and go too far with it where he becomes domineering and very arrogant.
Number three, she’s worried about how he might react if she says something like that to him.
Sometimes a guy will react by crying. Sometimes a guy will react by getting angry and maybe even violent.
Sometimes a guy will react by begging and pleading and bombarding her with texts and phone calls.
Sometimes a guy will be showing up at her front door demanding that she speaks to him and demanding that she gives him another chance to prove that he is more of a man now.
So, those are some of the reasons why women don’t always tell the real reason why they’re breaking up with a guy.
If you want to properly re-attract your ex, you have to understand exactly where you were going wrong and what really turned her off.
When you interact with her, you have to be able to display that in how you talk to her, how you react to her, how you behave and so on.
Myth 5: It’s needy to want your ex back
A lot of people out there will say, “An ex is an ex for a reason. Just leave her. If she doesn’t want to be with you, then screw that bitch. She’s going to come back and it was meant to be, but if not, who cares? There’s plenty women out there. Why are you being so needy for? Just go get another woman.”
You’ll get that sort of opinion out there and it’s okay.
People are allowed to have different opinions.
Yet, just put that person in your situation and see what they’ll say then.
If a guy ruins his marriage or ruins his relationship with his girlfriend, he loves her, he really wants to be with her and he screws it up by making some mistakes, then she breaks up with him and he wants her back.
There’s nothing wrong with that. The guy made some mistakes. He’s a good guy. He wants to get his woman back. That is not needy.
If a guy mans up, improves, stops making the mistakes and re-attracts her, then he’s become a better man.
He’s also offering her a much better attraction and relationship experience now, so she wants the relationship just as much as he does.
She can truly respect him now.
She can truly feel attracted to him, whereas in the past, she only kind of felt attracted to him or she used to really feel attracted to him and then she stopped feeling attracted to him because he changed.
Likewise, the love can be so much better now because he’s such a better man.
He’s more of a complete man now that he has improved as a result of the lessons he’s learned from the breakup, so the love can be so much better.
Yet, you won’t necessarily get that kind of understanding from people out there when they hear that you’re being dumped and you want your ex back.
Some people will say to you that it’s needy, it’s desperate, it’s weak and all other types of negative things to get your ex back.
Yet, as I said, put that same person in a situation where they lose the love of their life and see how they react.
It’s totally normal and natural to love your ex woman and want her back.
If you become a better man, a more complete man and you can offer her a better attraction and relationship experience, then everyone wins.
You are a better man.
She gets a better man.
You and her get a better relationship experience, the love is more real, it’s more meaningful, it feels better and so on.
Of course, that said, some guys do get needy and desperate when they’re trying to get their ex woman back and that isn’t a good thing.
That doesn’t help them and it’s not nice for the woman either.
So, when a guy is being desperate and needy and he’s focusing on the fact that he really needs her back and his life is horrible without her and he can’t live without her, then he’s not doing what he needs to do to get her back.
He has to use the 3 to 7 days of space to quickly regain control of his emotions, calm down his thoughts and prepare to properly re-attract her.
If he’s not doing that and he’s just panicking and worrying and begging and pleading with her, texting her nonstop, asking for another chance, trying to convince her and so on, then it’s not going to work.
She is going to feel annoyed by that.
So, the thing is, it’s not needy to want your ex back if you go about it in the right way.
Going about it in the right way is where you calm down your thoughts, you regain control of your emotions and you prepare to attract her.
If you do that, then you are doing a good thing for yourself and you’re going to be offering something to her that she is going to enjoy.
When you meet up with her, you are going to make her feel so much respect, attraction and love for you.
She’s going to look at you in a positive light.
She’s going to realize that you really have changed and she really does feel differently around you now.
Things feel good.
She can feel the love.
She feels like she should give you another chance because it feels right to her.
Okay, I hope you’ve enjoyed this video and learned something useful from it.
If you need more help to get your ex back, I recommend that you watch my program, Get Your Ex Back Super System
It’s a step-by-step system so you will know exactly what to do each step of the way.
You will learn exactly what to say and do to make her feel attracted to you so she wants to be back in a relationship with you.
It’s not just you wanting to be with her. She feels attracted to you. She feels respect for you. She feels love for you.
Trust Your Gut Instinct
One final point that I want to make for you in this video is to trust your gut instinct.
When you are thinking about whether or not you should just cut off communication with your ex and wait for her to come back, trust your gut instinct on that.
If you feel like she is going to miss you like crazy because you cut all contact with her and she’s going to text you and call you and want you back, then cut off contact with her.
However, if you feel like she doesn’t really care about you anymore, doesn’t care about the relationship, she doesn’t feel much respect for you, she doesn’t feel much attraction for you and she’s not in love with you, then you need to trust your gut instinct on that.
You need to imagine how it’s going to play out…
You stop contacting her and you just wait and hope that she comes back yet she moves on.
She finds a new guy.
She finds him attractive and interesting.
She gets into a new relationship and she just doesn’t care about the fact that you’re not contacting her anymore.
Likewise, if you feel like you need a lot of time to heal, then trust your gut instinct on that, but just understand one thing…
Many guys don’t get over their ex woman for YEARS, so waiting 30 days or waiting 60 days or waiting 90 days or any other type of number doesn’t guarantee that you’re going to heal and get over her and never want her back.
What I recommend is that rather than waiting for months or years to finally get over her, you calm down your thoughts, regain control of your emotions and prepare to re-attract her.
If you want to do that on your own, then you can go ahead and do that.
I have lots of free videos that you can watch about how to get your ex back.
I have also written loads of articles on my website about how you can get her back.
You can read and watch everything that I’ve created on the topic.
Alternatively, if you want to fast-track your success, I recommend that you watch my program, Get Your Ex Back Super System
When you watch the 10 hours of video, I will take you through the process of calming down your thoughts, regaining control of your emotions and preparing to re-attract her.
Most guys who watch my program are ready to contact their ex right after watching the program.
Some guys do need a week and some guys need a week and a half or so.
f you want to fast-track your success, I recommend that you watch my program.
Alternatively, if you can’t afford it or you want to take your time with it, I recommend that you watch as many of my free videos as you can and read as many of my articles on my website as you can because I always give out free tips.
I always focus on helping you understand what you need to do, boosting your confidence, giving you examples of how you can attract her and so on.
Finally, if you want to get your ex back, just understand that it’s not a needy thing to do.
In fact, it’s often a noble thing to do when a guy becomes a better man and gets his woman back and then has an even better relationship with her.
He becomes a man that she can respect, a man that she can feel truly attracted to and truly in love with.
This applies to boyfriend-girlfriend relationships and it also applies to marriages.
Sometimes a guy has his first girlfriend and he screws it up.
Sometimes a man is married and they had a great marriage before but he ruined his wife’s feelings of respect, attraction and love for him. He then gets her back and they have a happy family again.
Likewise, with a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship, sometimes a guy is on his second or third relationship in life and he screws it up.
Yet, he then regrets it.
He knows that she is the one for him.
He wants to get her back.
He knows that the relationship can be better this time around.
There’s nothing wrong with you doing that.
There’s nothing wrong with you becoming a better man getting her back and enjoying an even better relationship than before.
You can do it so go and get her back.