No, it’s not over.
Your ex blocking your number simply means that you now have to use a different approach to get her back.
Here’s what you need to do:
1. Update your Facebook and/or Instagram profile
This is an important step, because now it’s the only effective type of communication you have with your ex where you can show her that you’ve changed.
What you post online from now should show you having fun with other people (e.g. going to parties, events, festivals), so she can see you’re not sitting around all day worrying about how to get her back.
If you don’t use social media or don’t post up photos often, now is a good time to start.
Social media is a very effective tool to get your ex back, so if she has blocked your number and you want her back, you have to adapt and start using it to get the result you want with her.
Important: If she has unfriended you on Facebook or unfollowed you on Instagram, just post your photos as “public” so she can see them from the outside. If she is curious to see what you are up to, she will stop by your profile to have a look.
If you don’t use social media, you might have no other way to show your ex what you’re up to and how much you’ve changed, so she will hold onto her negative perception of you that she developed near the end of the relationship and during the break up.
Once you’ve updated your profiles (or opened your social media account) and added some happy, positive things about you and your life, you should…
2. Contact her via social media to ask for one phone call
Once you’ve updated your profile on social media (i.e. you’ve posted up photos of you having fun with other people), send your ex a message to ask her for a phone call.
Important: Only do this once you’ve updated your social media, otherwise almost all women say no because there is no evidence to suggest you have changed or that you are happy without her.
Most women don’t believe that a guy has changed simply because he says so and she will also worry that he’s just trying to get her back and that everything will still be the same as it always was.
An example of what you can say to get your ex agree to a phone call is: “Hey Jenny. I accept that we’ve broken up, but I just wanted to ask you something over the phone. Don’t worry, it’s not serious. Can you just unblock my number tomorrow at 6.00pm [make sure you pick a suitable time that you know she’s available to talk] so that I can give you a quick call. Then you can go ahead and block me again if you want to.”
If she doesn’t respond to your message, just go ahead and give her a call at the time you specified in your message.
If she doesn’t answer and you discover that your number is still blocked, leave it for a day or two and then send her a message saying this: “Hey Jenny – I tried calling you the other day at the time I suggested in my previous message to you, but my number was still blocked. I really do need to ask you something over the phone, but I don’t won’t to be a nag about it. How about I try again tonight at the same time? I promise, it’s just a quick call to ask you this question and then you can block my number again as soon as I hang up the phone if you want to.”
She might then send you a message asking, “What do you want to ask me?”
Whatever you do, don’t make the mistake of thinking, “Oh good! She’s replying!” and then start texting back and forth with her.
Instead, just text her back and say, “What I need to ask is better done over the phone. I’ll call you at 6. You can then block me again if you like.”
In most cases, a woman will be curious about what you want to ask her and she will unblock your number to find out.
When you get her on the phone, make sure that you display confidence by remaining calm and relaxed when she’s being cold towards you (e.g. she says, “Okay, I’ve unblocked your number. You have 3 minutes, so make it fast! What do you want?”) and then use some humor to get her smiling and laughing and enjoying talking to you, so her guard comes down.
For example, you might say, “3 minutes? Oh well, I guess we can’t do what I planned to do on this call” and then she might ask, “What was that?” and you might add, “I was going to read you a 2 hour story. Oh well” and have a laugh with her about that.
In other words, don’t take the conversation so seriously.
Look for an opportunity to use humor, so you can get rid the awkward tension between you and her and make her relax and open up a little more.
3. Get her to meet up with you in person to say hello
After a bit more light hearted conversation where you continue sparking your ex’s feelings of respect and attraction for you (e.g. by making her smile, laugh and feel good to be talking to you again, quickly telling her in a sentence or two what you’ve been doing to let her see that you’ve been happy and getting on with your life without her), you can ask her to meet up with you in person.
For example: You can say, “Anyway, it’s been great talking to you again. It’s nice to see that we can be two mature adults around each other and actually have a fun conversation without getting annoyed. Hey, so what I wanted to ask you over the phone is to just meet up in person to say hello as friends. It wouldn’t be about us getting back together of course. It’s just a coffee to say hi to each other as friends.”
In most cases, a woman won’t say “Yes” right away and she will initially be resistant to the idea (e.g. because she doesn’t believe that you’ve changed, she’s afraid of getting hurt again, she doesn’t want to come across as being too easy or she has a new man in her life).
So, she might say something like, “No, I don’t think that’s a good idea,” or “You said you wanted one phone call and now you’re asking me to meet up with you for coffee. You’re pushing your luck!”
No matter how negatively she responds, don’t let that cause you to feel uncertain or insecure.
Remember: Women are attracted to men who can remain confident under pressure, so use any negative reactions from her as an opportunity to make her feel attracted to you.
Just relax and confidently say something like, “Hey, look – it’s just a quick cup of coffee as friends. No strings attached. Then, if you don’t want to talk to me again after that, I will be totally cool with that and we can part ways as friends, rather than feel angry or annoyed with each other into the future. It can also be the last time we ever catch up in person if you want. If you don’t want to ever see me again even as a friend, I will accept that 100% and never contact you again. So, what do you say? Are you in for a quick catch up tomorrow or the next day?”
She will likely then say “Yes,” and you can then go ahead and arrange a suitable day and time.
You then need to…
4. Make her feel a strong, renewed sense of respect and attraction for you at the meet up
At the meet up, you have to continue saying and doing the types of things that will make her feelings of respect and attraction for you grow, rather than say and do the types of things that will cause her to think, “What was I thinking when I agreed to meet up with him again?! He sounded so different over the phone that I mistakenly thought he’d changed, but clearly, he’s still the same guy I broke up with. I’m getting out of here and this time I’m blocking his number for good. It’s over!”
If she is being cold and unfriendly toward you and is saying things like, “I shouldn’t have come here,” or “This is such a waste of time. Let’s get it over with so that I never have to see you again,” rather than get upset, flustered and start doubting yourself around her, use her negativity against her to make her laugh and show her that you really have changed (e.g. you’re more confident now rather than insecure, you’re more ballsy, rather than letting her dominate you emotionally).
For example: You might respond by laughing at her attempts to make you feel bad and turning it into something to laugh about together.
You might laugh and say (in a joking manner), “Such a drama queen now, aren’t you? We’re only having coffee together as friends. Relax. I’m sure you can manage to relax for 10 minutes without causing a scene, right? You will be fine. Just relaaaax. Look, I’ll even put my timer on for you on my phone. Then, after the 10 minutes are up, you can throw a tantrum again if you want, but for these 10 minutes you have to be nice and behave yourself. Cool… time starts now!” and have a laugh with her about that.
She will likely feel a bit shocked at you for having the balls to stand up to her in that way, but at the same time, she will also feel curious about your newfound relaxed and confident attitude towards her.
This will naturally make her feel some respect and attraction for you again, even if she tries to hide that from you.
When she feels that for you, she then starts to accept that it is possible for you to really have changed.
She then stops focusing on the things about the past version of you that she didn’t like and starts focusing on things about the new version of you that she does like.
Her guard comes down and she becomes open to interacting with you some more (e.g. over the phone, or seeing you in person again) to see what happens.
At the meet up, it’s also very important that you…
5. Get her to forgive the old version of you
If your ex doesn’t fully forgive the old version of you, she might not be able to stop herself from bringing up all your past mistakes every time you do something she doesn’t like.
So, you do need to get her forgiveness for who you used to be by apologizing to her in person (keep it brief and to the point when you apologize).
Note: Apologizing to her in person is always better than doing it via text, e-mail and social media, because she can observe your body language, assess the sincerity in your voice and see for herself that you really do mean what you’re saying.
However, getting your ex to forgive you is not about groveling and saying things like, “I’m so sorry! I really stuffed up. I hate myself for what I did to you. Can you please forgive me and give me another chance,” over and over again, because that will only turn her off even more.
Instead, you need to sincerely and briefly apologize to her once, by taking responsibility for your past mistakes and then asking her to forgive you so that both of you can move forward in your life without the baggage of a bitter break up clouding your future relationships.
You can tell her that when she forgives you, she will feel better about what happened and she will then be able to remember that there were also some good times between you and her.
Once you do get her forgiveness, she naturally becomes more open to you, even if she didn’t plan to.
All of sudden, she stops thinking of you in a negative way and begins to feel respect and attraction for you once again.
6. End the meet up with a warm goodbye hug and if possible, a kiss and then sex later that day or night
It might feel a little awkward her for at the start, but she will like it.
As long as you’ve been making your ex feel strong surges of respect and attraction for you throughout the meet up, getting a hug goodbye should happen naturally and easily.
Just make sure that you don’t skip this part (e.g. because you’re worried she will say no, or because you don’t want to seem pushy after things have been going so well).
Why is it important to get physical at the end of your meet up?
Having a warm hug goodbye helps break the physical distance between you and her, makes her feel a surge of sexual attraction and most importantly, it confuses her feelings.
All of a sudden, she starts wondering, “Why did that hug feel so good? Why did I enjoy being in his arms again?” and she then becomes open to talking over the phone and seeing you again.
How can you get a goodbye hug from your ex?
When you and your ex are getting ready to leave, you can say something along the lines of, “Okay, bring it in for a warm, goodbye hug since we’re never going to see each other again.”
In most cases, if you’ve been sparking her feelings of respect and attraction for you throughout the meet up, a woman will be more than happy to give you a hug.
She will also feel a bit sad now that it’s possible she will never see you again, so there will be some feeling attached to the hug.
Go ahead and gently take her in your arms and give her a nice, long, warm hug that last for about 5 seconds.
If she seems open (i.e. she remains in the hug and looks you in the eye briefly with a smile), you can then lean in and give her a kiss as well.
In many cases, a woman will then be open to hooking up with her ex sexually that day or night.
However, if you can only get a hug and she’s not willing to go any further than that, don’t worry about it.
The important thing is that you’ve broken down her walls of resistance and planted seeds of doubt in her mind about her decision to break up with you.
You can then…
7. Get her to unblock your number
If you have shown your ex that you really have changed (via your actions and conversation style), gotten her to forgive you and aren’t desperately trying to convince her to give you another chance, she has no reason to keep your number blocked.
For example: You can say, “This wasn’t so bad after all, was it?” and let her answer.
Then say, “How about you keep my number unblocked so that we can do this again sometime if you want to? I promise I’m not going to take advantage of you not blocking me on your phone to try and get you back if you don’t want that, but we can at least be friends from now on. What do you say? Friends?”
When she agrees to that, get her to unblock you and then say, “Cool…well, maybe we can text each other from time to time to say hello as friends.”
From that moment onwards, don’t abuse her good nature and start texting or calling her every day in the hopes that it will make her change her mind about getting back together again.
Instead, call her after a few days and continue building her feelings of respect and attraction for you (e.g. by making her laugh and smile, making her feel feminine in contrast to your masculine vibe, flirting with her).
Sooner rather than later, she will be the one suggesting a meet up and then you can guide her through the rest of the ex back process and get her back.
8. Don’t make any of these classic mistakes
Sometimes, a guy might feel so shocked that his ex has blocked his number that he makes a whole bunch of classic mistakes before ever searching and finding my article here.
For example: He might…
- Send her flowers to say sorry.
- Show up at her home uninvited.
- Send long, emotional e-mails, letters or social media messages telling her all about his feelings for her and asking her to unblock his number.
- Send her long messages via social media to apologize over and over again.
- Try to get her friends or family involved.
Yet, rather than make a woman think, “Awww, he’s so sweet. What was I thinking when I blocked his number? He must really love me to go to such extreme measures to get to me,” she will just feel stressed out and pressured by his desperate approach.
The thing is, if a guy doesn’t first improve his ability to attract her (i.e. by changing the things about himself that really matter to her,) a woman usually isn’t going to be swayed by his attempts to get her back.
Instead, she’s going to feel turned off even more and may say to herself, “I’m glad I blocked his number. I don’t have any doubts anymore about being broken up with him. It’s really over between us and I wish he would just leave me alone.”
If she doesn’t feel sexually attracted to him anymore, she might appreciate his romantic tokens (e.g. flowers, love letter e-mails), but it’s not going to make her change her mind.
So, if you want your ex to unblock your number and give you another chance, don’t waste time making grand romantic gestures or trying to persuade her by getting her friends or family involved or by showing up at her home uninvited.
Instead, you need to show her through your thinking and your behavior that you really changed and become the man that she always wanted you to be.
When she can see for herself that no matter how cold and closed off she’s being towards you, you maintain your confidence and make her smile and laugh, her guard will come down.
She will then be much more willing to unblock your number because it feels like the right thing for her to do – not because you’re pressuring her into doing it.
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