Dating modern women is very easy when you use an approach that is suited to today’s dating environment.
The dating scene really has changed a lot lately, so to get you up to speed, here are 7 dating rules for men that will make the process of approaching, picking up and getting into relationships with women much easier for you…
1. Understand that sex happens very quickly these days
Although most women behave as though they would never have sex with a guy on the first night or first date, statistically speaking most women do have sex that quickly.
- A study in the USA found that 55% of couples had sex on their first date.
- A study in Europe found that 70% of women admitting to having experienced a one night stand.
- A study in the UK found that 49% of women admitted to having experienced a one night stand.
This was a shock to me when I first started going out to approach women because women seemed to not even care if men approached them or not.
What confuses a lot of guys is how women don’t seem to be as turned on by men as much as men are turned on by women.
When an attractive woman walks past, most men will look and come to a “Yes” or “No” decision about whether they’d have sex with her or even have a relationship with her.
This is why you’ll often hear men referring to women as marriage material and instantly saying they would “tap” her.
There’s nothing wrong with men doing that (we all do it), but the point I’m making here is about the difference between how men and women react to each other.
Almost all women go through life in OFF mode and will only feel properly turned ON and attracted to a guy if he interacts with her and displays some of the personality traits, behaviors and inner qualities that are attractive and arousing to women.
For example: Confidence, charisma, charm, humor, masculine vibe, etc.
Since almost all women need to actively interact with a guy before they can make a decision about whether they’d want to have sex with him, they tend to be very passive or indifferent when it comes to men.
One of the reasons why a woman’s attraction works in that way is to help ensure that she doesn’t give insecure guys a chance to be with her.
Her instincts are hard-wired to make her feel attracted to confident men, which is why women don’t want to approach men and make it easy for them to meet her.
Another reason why women don’t actively approach and try to pick up men, is that they don’t want to seem too easy when it comes to sex.
By showing him that she can control herself when it comes to sex, a woman knows that it will help a man trust her if they get into a relationship.
Men know that all it will take for a woman to get laid is for her to say, “Yes” to the 100s of guys who look at her, call out to her or try to hit on her every week.
It’s very easy for a woman to get laid, so to make sure that her future boyfriend or husband will be able to trust her, she has to restrain herself and act like she couldn’t care less if she has sex or not.
As a woman gains experience with relationships, she will know that if she appears too open and easy about sex, most guys will become insecure and clingy in the relationship and then begin to control her.
So, as a modern man, you need to understand that sex does happen very often these days, but women still have to act like they are not interested in sex or never have sex on the first night or first date.
Some guys might feel as though the world should change back to how it was in the 1800s to early 1900s, so women are forced to wait until marriage to have sex, but it’s not going to happen.
If you want to get in on the action, you need to accept that pretty much all women you meet will have had sex on the first night or first date before.
Some women may want to wait until the second or third date, but it is highly unlikely and will usually mean that you’re simply missing her signals that she does want to have sex with you because you’re afraid that you will be rejected if you make a move.
These days, one of the most important dating rules for men is to understand that sex actually starts a relationship.
Unlike in the past, where a woman had to get married to lose her virginity and start an actual relationship, women are able to start a relationship immediately if they feel enough attraction for a guy.
Having sex with each other is a way of cutting through all the courtship rituals and getting straight to the point.
After you’ve had sex, you can then continue to see each other and if you both begin to fall in love, then a relationship will begin to form.
However, most modern women don’t even want to discuss having a relationship until after they’ve had sex with you at least once.
Some women don’t even want to go there until they’ve dated you for a while, because she will have had relationships before and wants to be sure that you and her could last before she makes it official.
Of course, if you are skilled at making women feel attracted to you, a woman will immediately start talking about wanting to have a relationship with you after sex because she will be feeling more for you than she has felt for other guys.
2. Be a good guy to women, but don’t be too nice
The approach that we teach here at The Modern Man is about being a good guy who also displays the personality traits, behaviors and inner qualities that are naturally attractive to women.
For example: Confidence, charisma, charm, humor, masculine vibe, etc.
It’s not enough to just be a good guy. If you want women to want you, it’s essential that you make the effort to display attractive traits when you interact with women.
A common mistake that men make is to be very polite, considerate and nice to women and hope that it will make women “like” him enough to give him a chance.
Yet, that’s not how it works.
Women want to feel attracted to you, rather than just like you as a person.
There’s nothing wrong with having manners and being a good guy, but when a guy tries to attract a modern woman into a relationship by simply vein nice to her, he will usually get rejected and here is why…
As you will discover from the video above, simply being nice to a woman doesn’t make her feel sexually attracted and turned on.
Only being nice also doesn’t make her feel as though the guy is special and unique because pretty much every guy who doesn’t understand how to attract women, will attempt to get her into a relationship by being nice to her.
Many guys fail to realize that the nice guy approach isn’t unique. Almost all of the men that a woman meets will attempt to woo her by using a nice guy act (i.e. acting nicer than they really are, in the hopes that it will impress her).
She’s bored to death of that crap.
So, if you want to stand out from the crowd, make sure that you focus on making a woman feel sexually attracted to you, while ALSO being the good guy that you are.
Although it would be nice if women simply liked you because you are a good guy, it’s not going to happen because most guys put on an act of being a really nice guy as a way of hopefully getting a woman to like them.
Women only appreciate niceness AFTER they feel attracted to you. If you attract her and also treat her well, she will see you as a charming guy.
However, if you are just nice to her, she will see you as a typical nice guy and won’t have much or any sexual feelings for you.
3. Don’t be so easily impressed by her
One of the biggest mistakes that men make with women is to confuse their feelings of sexual attraction, with their overall evaluation of the woman.
For example: A guy will see a physically attractive woman and will instantly think, “Yes, I would have sex with her” and based on the physical attraction he is feeling, he will begin to look at her overall personality and behavior in a positive light.
He might say, “She looks sweet” simply because she is smiling and he will imagine that she is a nice, trustworthy woman with no personality faults at all.
If she is wearing nice clothes and has nice hair, he might say, “She is stylish” and then imagine that she is intelligent, cultured, interesting and popular.
If he talks to her and while being nice to him, she says something vaguely intelligent or witty, he will feel impressed and amazed by her and it will begin to show up via his body language, behavior, vibe and conversations style.
He isn’t doing much or anything to make her feel attracted and is simply having a nice, friendly chat with her, while who she is and what she looks like is making him feel intense attraction.
He is attracted and impressed and he just can’t contain his excitement.
What he doesn’t realize is that pretty much every other guy that she meets has the same reaction.
Guys feel attracted to her and are then amazed that she is being nice to them during a conversation, so they feel like they’ve found “the one” or about to score.
The guy’s body language, behavior, conversation style and vibe then makes the woman realize that he is way more impressed by her than she is of him, which is the opposite of what she really wants.
She wants to meet a guy who is attracted to her, but most importantly – she is attracted, turned on and excited to be interacting with him.
She wants to feel as though he could have other women (she will sense that by his confidence and ability to attract her), but will choose her if she impresses him enough.
She wants him to be impressed by how she looks, but to not be 100% sold on who she is yet.
She wants to have to work to earn his full approval and interest.
This is what women refer to as a man being a challenge and here is why they like it…
Simply based on how a woman looks, almost all men will be more than impressed and will be interested in having sex with her and possibly even a relationship.
Some guys will just look at her and think of having sex with her once or twice, but most guys will be in for a relationship as well.
It’s incredibly boring for women.
It’s not men’s fault for feeling so attracted to women, but it is men’s fault for not taking a moment to understand the reality that women live in.
Based on how easily men feel attracted to women, it creates a desire inside of a woman to want to meet a guy who is more of a challenge to win over.
Being a challenge around a woman is not about acting like you’re not interested or lying to the woman in any way.
What being a challenge really means is that you make a woman feel attracted to you by displaying some of the personality traits, behaviors and inner qualities that naturally attract women (e.g. confidence, charisma, humor, masculine vibe, charm).
Once you have sparked a woman’s attraction for you, the next step is to let her sense (via your body language, conversations style, vibe, attitude, behavior) that you’re not fully sold on her yet.
4. Don’t give up at the first sign of resistance
One of the most important traits that women look for in a man is confidence, which is why nervous, insecure guys always struggle to attract women.
An easy way for a woman to find out how confident a guy really is around her, is to test him by playing hard to get, acting uninterested or even teasing him during a conversation.
If he crumbles under her pressure, she knows that he isn’t confident enough for a woman like her.
However, if he remains confident and relaxed and either laugh at her tests or flat out ignore them, her respect and attraction for him will deepen.
When going through the dating process, you will often encounter signs of resistance even when women really like you.
For example: You might be getting along well with a woman and everything is going great, but she then rejects you when you attempt get her number.
She says something like, “You want my number? I’m not sure I should give it to you” or, “I don’t know…I don’t usually give my number out to guys” to see how you will react.
Rather than feeling as though you are being rejected, just understand that she is almost certainly (at least 99% of the time based on all of my experience) trying to test your level of confidence.
5. Approach and talk to women that you find attractive, rather than settling for lower quality women that you will regret being with later on
If you only ever approach average or below-average looking women, you will never get to sleep with beautiful, sexy women.
It sounds obvious to say that, but so many guys wonder why they can’t get a hot girlfriend, even though they rarely, if ever, approach and talk to hot women.
To be successful at picking up beautiful women, you need to have a fairly good level of skill when it comes to sparking and building on a woman’s attraction while you interact with her.
This is because she knows her value on the mating market, so she doesn’t have to settle for a guy who makes her feel little or no attraction.
Surprisingly, average and below average looking women actually have MORE choice of men that beautiful women do, because most guys are afraid to approach beautiful women and those who do are either drunk, insecure or sleazy.
It’s usually very difficult for a beautiful woman to find a confident good guy because most guys are intimidated by her and most confident good guys already have a girlfriend or wife.
When you can walk up to a beautiful woman with an easy-going, relaxed confidence and spark her feelings of attraction, she will be interested to see how much more attraction you can make her feel.
She will almost always begin to put you through confidence tests (e.g. playing hard to get, not contributing much to the conversation initially, teasing you or putting you down during the conversation, etc) to see how confident you really are.
If you pass her confidence tests and simply focus on making her smile, laugh and feel good when talking to you, she will be excited to be interacting with a confident good guy who seems to be interested in her.
She will almost always then bring down her guard and show you a more relaxed, open, friendly and easy-going side of herself that almost no other guys get to see.
When she does that, she is essentially yours for the taking. You just need to remain confident and believe that you are making her feel attracted and that you can kiss her and have sex with her when the time is right.
Personally speaking, I can tell you that having sex with a beautiful woman is completely different than having sex with a woman that you know isn’t very attractive.
Although it feels good to stick it in pretty much any woman, play with her titties and kiss her, all that is nothing compared to what you will feel when you’re having sex with a beautiful woman that you’re really attracted to.
I remember one of the first times that I had sex with a catwalk model. After sex, she got up out of the bed and walked naked into my bathroom and I was amazed at what I was seeing.
I saw her tall, perfectly shaped body with beautiful tits, beautiful face and a perfect ass get up and confidently walk into the bathroom and then come back after a minute all freshened up.
She climbed onto the bed and cuddled into me and I just looked down at her and thought, “Wow. This girl is so damn sexy…look at that face…look at that body. Amazing.”
It was a big deal for me because a year and half prior to that moment, beautiful women wouldn’t even talk to me for more than 30 seconds (if that!).
I was too nervous, I didn’t know what to say and I had no idea how to make them feel attracted to me.
However, when I created the attraction techniques that I now teach here at The Modern Man, everything changed and women looked at me in a completely different way.
The more I improved my ability to attract women during a conversation, the higher quality of woman I was able to get.
You can do the same as well.
If you don’t really know how to make women feel attracted and turned on by you when you interact with them, it’s important for you to understand that you can actually learn the skill.
It’s so damn easy that you will kick yourself for not knowing this earlier.
Watch this video to understand how it works…
As you will discover from the video above, a man does not have to be tall, handsome or rich to attract a beautiful woman.
Most guys believe that they have to be tall, handsome or rich to attract a beautiful woman, which is why most guys only ever approach and pick up average to below average looking women.
Sometimes, a guy will “get lucky” and score himself an attractive woman, but she may then dump him later on when she is sick and tired of not feeling much or any attraction for him.
If you want to be able to attract and keep a beautiful woman, you must know how to actually trigger and build on a woman’s feelings of sexual attraction for you.
6. Don’t hide behind text messages
Another common mistake that men make these days is to hide behind texts messages after getting a woman’s phone number.
A man will text back and forth with a woman and try to think of really interesting, funny or clever things to say via text, Whatsapp, Facebook, Twitter and other social media sites.
If the woman is interested in him, she might be happy to engage him in a text exchange for a while, but she will eventually lose interest if he doesn’t grow a pair of balls and just call her.
If you want to get consistent results with women in your dating life, you need to have the balls to call a woman, get her laughing, have an enjoyable conversation (anywhere from 1-10 minutes) and then set up a time to meet in person.
You can set up dates at your place or her place (e.g. cook dinner, hang out and have some drinks before going out to party, meet up at your place and then walk to a nearby cafe together, etc) to help ensure that you and her can easily have sex on the first date.
Alternatively, if you want to go for more a traditional style of date, you can catch up for a coffee, something to eat or a couple of drinks and then transition the date back to your place or her place and then have sex.
If you don’t want to have sex that quickly, you can do it on the second date, but don’t leave it for too long because most modern woman don’t like wasting time in the “dating zone” before they get to take you for a test drive.
7. Believe in yourself
One of the most important dating rules for men is to believe in yourself.
These days, we men are bombarded with message from the media telling us that we’re not good enough and we need to be taller, have six pack abs, look like a model, be rich and be living a celebrity lifestyle to be worthy of a woman.
If a modern man pays to all of the messages in the media, it really can be very depressing, frustrating and confusing and lead to him avoiding women altogether.
However, what you need to understand is that the vast majority of women (I’d say about 90% based on all my experience picking up women and helping guys to pick up women) are much less picky about what they will accept in a man than most guys realize.
Some women are very picky and will only accept a tall, rich, good looking guy, but the majority of women are much more flexible about what they find attractive in a man.
Watch this video for more info…
As you will discover from the video above, it is possible for pretty much any man to attract a beautiful and then enjoy an amazing relationship with her.
However, the media is not going to tell you that and neither are women.
Beautiful, attractive women are going to say to you, “Hey, stop doubting yourself. You are good enough for me” and the media isn’t going to stop talking about tall, handsome men with six-pack abs and loads of money.
Yet, despite what the media focuses on and why beautiful women have to play hard to get, you can still get what you want.
What you need to realize is that the majority of women (beautiful or otherwise) have average or below-average looking boyfriends of husbands and it’s possible for pretty much any man to have a beautiful woman.
The main that you need to do is believe in yourself and your natural ability to attract women.
You need to believe that you can have your choice with women and you can attract a beautiful woman for sex or a relationship.