So, why do women flake on men?

In other words, why do women pull out of dates that they agreed to go to?

Is it because women are unreliable, they’re impossible, dating is destroyed these days, you can’t get a woman out on a date, it’s all too difficult?


The reality is that both men and women pull out of dates.

Additionally, men and women have been pulling out of dates ever since dating began.

It’s not a new thing.

Yet, why does it happen?

Why does a woman agree to go on a date with you and then not arrive at that date?

She pulls out on the date at the last minute and you’re then left thinking, “What is going on? Does this girl liked me or not?”

In this video, I’m going to explain 7 reasons why women flake on men or pull out of dates and more importantly, how you can avoid that happening to you so the next time you meet a really attractive woman that you want to have sex with or have a relationship with, she is eager to attend the date.

She arrives at the date and you can then build on her attraction, get to a kiss, have sex and start a relationship if you want that as well.

The first common reason why a woman will flake on a date is that…

1. She just wants casual sex, but she can see that the guy wants a serious relationship with her

Many of the single women you meet will want a serious relationship.

That’s what they’re aiming for.

Yet, you will also meet single women who just want to have casual sex.

Sometimes that happens because a woman is busy with her studies or she’s busy with her career.

Alternatively, she has just gotten out of a relationship with a guy who was very jealous, clingy, controlling and overprotective.

She now just wants to enjoy her freedom, have a bit of fun and doesn’t want to get into anything serious at the moment.

Now, that doesn’t mean that a guy can’t get a woman like her into a serious relationship.

He can.

However, if he meets a woman like her, he needs to make sure that he’s not giving her serious relationship vibes before they’ve had sex and she has started to fall in love with him.

The thing is, if you make a woman feel very attracted to you and connected with you when you meet her and go on a date and you then have sex and she really likes you and starts to feel sparks of love for you, she will naturally start to open up to the idea of having a relationship with you.

However, if she’s the sort of woman who is very busy with her studies, or career, or she has just gotten out of an abusive or controlling relationship, she’s not initially going to be looking to get into a serious relationship.

She will usually only open up to that if the guy has sex with her and starts making her fall in love with him.

If you have a lot of experience with women, you can tell the subtle differences and you can sense when a woman doesn’t really want to have a relationship, but if you don’t have that experience or you don’t want to spend a lot of time building up that experience, just go by this simple rule.

If you’re not sure whether or not a woman wants a relationship or not, just get to kissing and sex first.

After you’ve kissed a woman, things change and it starts to become more sexual.

After you’ve had sex with a woman, things start to become more intimate.

You and her open up to the potential of continuing to have sex with each other or start a relationship.

Another reason why a woman will flake on a guy is that…

2. She is playing hard-to-get because she fears that he might be too good for her

There are some confident women out there who know that they are attractive, but for the most part, most women aren’t actually very confident about their physical appearance.

If a woman has had some experience with relationships and she’s been able to initially attract men for sex, but hasn’t been able to keep them in a relationship, she will start to doubt her value as a woman.

She’ll start to doubt her attractiveness.

She’ll start to think that guys don’t really remain interested in her because she’s not that attractive and appealing.

So, what a woman like that will often do is play hard to get initially.

She’ll try to make the guy really like her and really want to be with her, so he ends up feeling lucky to be able to get a chance with her.

He ends up really appreciating getting her into a relationship.

It’s a strategy for her to hopefully secure herself a guy that will actually stick with her.

Now, a lot of guys out there don’t know that, so when they try to get a woman out on a date and she is playing a bit hard to get or flaking on a date, the guy will usually doubt himself and think that it’s all over.

He’s stuffed up, there’s no way that he is going to be able to get this woman on a date, have sex with her, or have a relationship with her.

He may then begin to think things like, “Maybe I’m not good looking enough for her,” or “Maybe she has realized that I’m not good enough for her overall and that’s why she doesn’t want to come to the date.”

Reason number 3…

3. The guy set up a date via text

The thing is, you can set up dates via text.

However, the flake rate is so much higher.

When a woman has only received texts from a guy that she gave her number to, it’s not as real as if he were to text her and then get her on a phone call, make her laugh, make her feel attracted to him again and make her remember that they get along and that they have a connection.

They’re able to talk to each other and feel good and if she were to go on a date, she would most likely be able to talk to him, feel good and get along.

Yet, if a woman is just getting texts from a guy, sometimes she’ll start to doubt that the date would be comfortable.

Additionally, sometimes she’ll start to think, “Does this guy really like me? He’s only texting me. Is he just going to keep texting me and texting me? Has He got other girls that he’s interested in? Is he just keeping me on the side and keeping me warm because he doesn’t have time to catch up with me for a date? Does he actually like me? Am I wasting my time texting back and forth with him? Should I be focusing on a new guy and trying to get myself an actual date, so I can get an actual boyfriend or actually have some sex?”

Some women don’t mind if everything is done via text.

Yet, if you want to have the highest success rate and make sure that women want to attend the dates that you set up, then it’s best to get the woman on a phone call to arrange the date.

It’s fine to text back and forth with her initially after you get her phone number, but make sure that at some point, you get her on a phone call, make her laugh, make her feel attracted to you, make her remember that you and her really do have a great connection and make her realize that if she were to go on a date with you, she would almost certainly feel good.

Let her realize that things wouldn’t be awkward between you and her because you and her can chat and get along easily on a phone call.

Reason number 4…

4. She wasn’t really attracted to him and just gave out her phone number to end the interaction politely

If a woman isn’t very attracted to a guy, she will usually say no if he asks for her phone number.

However, sometimes a woman doesn’t like confrontation or she is shy, doesn’t really have a lot of confidence in herself and doesn’t want to have to deal with a guy asking her questions like, “Why? Why won’t you give me your number? Come on, just give me your number” and so on.

So, with women like that, they will often give out their number just to end the interaction politely, even though they don’t really have any intention of going on a date with that guy.

If you want to avoid that happening to you, then make sure that you approach your interactions with women in a way that makes the woman feel like she wants to impress you.

Don’t approach interactions with women where you’re trying to put on a show and live up to all of her expectations.

If you feel like all the pressure is on you when you’re interacting with a woman and you’re trying to live up to all of her expectations, then women who are looking for a boyfriend who is more of a challenge won’t feel attracted to you.

Women like that are usually the pretty, beautiful women.

They want to find themselves a guy who doesn’t look up to them and think, “Wow, you’re so beautiful. I would do anything to be with you.”

Most pretty, beautiful women want to be with a guy who feels like he’s good enough for them, or even better, feels like he’s more than good enough for them.

So, when you’re interacting with a pretty, beautiful woman, don’t feel like all the pressure is on you.

Sure, joke around with her and make her laugh, flirt with her and so on, but also make sure that you let her see that you’re not completely impressed by everything that she is saying or doing.

If she says or does something that you don’t like or that you’re not impressed by, then have the confidence to playfully lose interest in her about that.

Show her that you’re not sucking up to her.

Show her that you’re not one of those guys who are on his best behavior all the time.

For example: She says or does something that you don’t really like, or you’re not impressed by and then you say something like this:

  1. Really? I was impressed by you up until that point. You disappoint me, girl. I thought you were cool up until that point, but now that you’ve said you’re like that, well, not so cool anymore. You used to be cool in my eyes, but now…uncool.
  2. Really? Who likes that? Only weird girls like stuff like that. You’re a weirdo. Here I was thinking that you were cool and then you go and say that you like that. Not cool, girl. Not cool.

Of course, when you say that, you’re only being playful.

You’re not being serious about saying that she’s a weirdo or that she’s not cool, you’re just playfully pushing her away.

That there is an example of being more of a challenge for a woman.

You’re not one of those guys who feels like he has to be on his best behavior around an attractive woman.

You’re not one of those guys who feels like he has to say and do everything perfectly and can’t say anything that she might not like, otherwise she’s not going to like him.


You believe in yourself.

You know that you’re good enough and you’re able to playfully push her away during your conversation at times.

Don’t go overboard with it though.

Just add it in, at times.

Let her see that you are a bit of a challenge.

You’re not like pretty much every other guy who meets her, immediately falls in love with her and is on his best behavior hoping to get a chance with her.

Number 5…

5. She is seeing someone else and doesn’t have time to start dating a new guy

Depending on which study you look at, anywhere from 50% to 70% of relationships break up within the first year.

As a result, pretty, beautiful women are becoming single again and back on the market.

Yet, sometimes, you’ll meet a pretty girl who is currently dating another guy.

She’s not serious about him, but is casually seeing him.

If you meet her, make her feel attracted and get her number, she may be intending to catch up with you for a date and start dating you instead.

Yet, if her life starts to get busy, if she starts to get serious with the new guy or if she starts to doubt whether she wants to have two guys on the go or not, then she may flake on the date.

So, how can you avoid a woman like that flaking on a date with you?

Well, one of the ways to do it is to be a bit more of a challenge, so she is excited about meeting up with you and you are more attractive and appealing to her in comparison to the guy that she has been dating.

Another thing that you can do is just accept her flaking on the date in that moment and say, “Cool, maybe we’ll catch up another time then.”

Then, go ahead and start dating and having sex with other women and text her in about a month.

Send out a text like, “Hey, how you doing?” or bring up some private humor that you and her shared when you first met.

That may be a joke that you and her shared, it might be a funny name that you called her or she called you, or it might be something funny that happened when you and her met.

Bring something like that up so she can laugh and remember how she felt about you.

Then, if you get a text back, don’t keep texting back and forth for days or weeks.

If you get a text back, send her a couple of texts back and forth and then get her on a phone call.

Make her laugh.

Make her remember the connection that you and her shared and then set up a date.

Another common reason why a woman will flake on a date is that…

6. The guy kept chasing her even though she wasn’t showing any interest in him

A guy can run into this problem if he’s texting a woman, if he’s talking to her on the phone, or if he’s talking to her in person.

Talking to a woman on the phone isn’t the thing that makes her want to go out on a date with a guy.

Instead, when a guy talks to a woman on the phone or in person, he needs to make sure that he is making her feel sparks of sexual attraction for him rather than just talking to her in a friendly way and hoping that he will grow on her over time.

So, what often happens in cases like these, is that the guy is completely in love with the woman.

He goes to bed at night imagining himself and her being in a relationship together.

They kiss, they have sex, she says that she loves him and then they remain happy together forever.

Yet, from her side, she’s not feeling sexually attracted to him.

She’s just feeling friendly emotions towards him.

As a result, she’s not falling in love with him romantically.

She’s not having the same type of sexual urges that cause her to go to bed at night, imagining them being together.

Instead, she just sees him as a friend.

Yet, he sees her as the love of his life.

He wants to get her out on a date.

He’s totally into her, but it’s one-sided.

The feelings aren’t mutual.

So, to avoid that happening to you, just make sure that you don’t talk to a woman in a neutral, friendly way and hope that she wants you sexually and romantically.

If you want a woman to want you sexually and romantically, you have to say and do things during interactions that cause her to feel sparks of sexual attraction for you.

One of many techniques that I can teach you is being more of a challenge.

That’s not the only way to do it, but it’s one of many ways to do it.

There are so many ways that you can make a woman feel sexually attracted to you as you talk to her.

Finally, reason number 7…

2. She wants to see how you handle it

For example:

  • Do you lose confidence in yourself?
  • Do you start desperately chasing her?
  • Do you see it as an opportunity to make her feel attracted by calling her up and playfully teasing her for flaking on you?
  • Do you go cold and never speak to her again?
  • Do you get angry at her?

Not all women will test a guy by flaking on him and seeing how he will handle it.

However, there are some women out there who have been in relationships with guys who are very controlling.

There are some women out there who have been in relationships with guys who are very insecure and can only feel confident if the woman is being really nice and accommodating and basically doing whatever he wants.

The moment she starts playing a bit hard to get or being a bit difficult, the guy loses confidence and becomes an insecure mess.

So, women like that will often test a guy’s emotional reaction before actually going out on a date with him.

Additionally, some women want to test a guy’s interest level because they’re looking for a guy who honestly wants a committed relationship.

He really likes her and he is sincerely interested in her.

So, if she says that she can’t make it to a date, he’s going to say something like, “Cool, let’s catch up another time then.”

At that point, the woman will usually then arrange another time and date with a guy, but if he doesn’t get that sense from her or if she doesn’t say anything about it, he can just end the phone call and call her another time.

He can wait for a week and give her a call.

If she doesn’t answer his phone call, he can send her a text and they can text back and forth for a little bit and then he can get her on a phone call, make her laugh, get the attraction going again and set up a date.

Now, of course, not every woman flakes on dates.

Most women go to the date that they agreed to go to because they’re looking to have some sex, to get into a new relationship and potentially, find their future husband or at least a boyfriend that they’re going to stay with for many years or for the rest of their life.

So, don’t be discouraged about dating and start thinking that it’s all too difficult.

Most women will arrive at a date with you.

If you make a woman feel a lot of attraction for you and you’re not trying hide behind texts, then pretty much every woman that you set up a date with will arrive at that date.

You can then go on to enjoy all the fun stuff that happens after that (i.e. all the kissing, all the sex, all the love, all the companionship and so on).

Learn More?

Okay, I hope you enjoyed this video and learned something from it.

If you’d like to learn more about how to attract women when you talk to them and how to make sure that if you set up a date with a woman, she absolutely arrives and she wants to be there, then I recommend that you read my eBook, The Flow, or listen to the audiobook version, The Flow on Audio.

The Flow is my tested, proven to work, simple, step by step method for attracting women and getting to sex or a date.

You can use The Flow to get to a kiss and sex on the first night or you can use the flow techniques to get to a phone number and then set up a date and then get to a kiss and have sex on the first date or the second date.

As long as you follow the simple steps of The Flow, a woman will feel increasingly attracted to you the more she interacts with you.

She will really want something to happen between you and her and then you just allow her to have that experience with you.

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