First dates don’t always lead into second dates, even when you really want them to. Here are some possible reasons why she won’t want a second date…
Reason One: Being Indecisive
If a guy is indecisive about where to go on a first date, a woman will lose interest in having a second date because women are instinctively attracted to men who can take lead.
Some guys make the mistake of thinking that it’s the right thing to do to ask a woman where she wants to go or what she wants to do because she deserves to have an input. However, what a woman really wants is to follow the man’s masculine direction so she can relax into being a woman and just going with the moment.
From a woman’s point of view, a guy who doesn’t take the lead on a first date is a guy who probably doesn’t take the lead in other areas of life.
She can safely assume that he’s not comfortable being an alpha male, so he will likely be pushed around in life, looked over for promotions to higher ranks in his work and so on. A woman instinctively looks for a man who can lead the way and protect her; a guy who knows how to show her a good time without her having to tell him how to do it.
Showing her a good time and taking the lead doesn’t mean picking up the tab wherever you go, it means being decisive about where you choose to go and being confident in your decisions.
Reason Two: Trying Too Hard
Decisiveness and confidence are traits that women find attractive in a man, but these things have to be displayed naturally to her. Nobody likes a fake and women can spot a faker a mile off. Some guys make the mistake of trying too hard to be someone they’re not, by acting overly confident or overly “cool” about everything.
They slip into thinking that they need to be a certain kind of guy to impress a woman, but what she’s looking for is an opportunity to get to know who he really is. When a woman sees that a guy is trying too hard to impress her, it is very unimpressive and she will lose interest in having a second date.
A bit part of getting a second date is believing in yourself and knowing that who you are is good enough for her. If you’re on a date with a woman, there must have been something about you that she liked otherwise you wouldn’t be on that date.
When a guy tries too hard to be liked by a woman, he will often make the mistake of coming across as the typical nice guy. There’s nothing wrong with being nice to a woman, but if you are too nice in an attempt to be liked by her, it will often lead to rejection.
Reason Three: Making it All About You
Okay, let’s cut to the chase here – women like to talk! If a guy gets so caught up in trying to “impress” a woman by telling her everything about himself, she’s not going to be able to get much of a word in about herself.
One of the main reasons people like to talk about themselves is to get other people to understand them and know what is happening in their life and how they are dealing with it. If you don’t let her connect with you in that manner, she will be less interested in a second date because she’ll feel as though you don’t really understand her.
Of course, she’s not going to be impressed if she’s forced into doing all the talking either. Sitting in silence and hanging on her every word is not helping her to get to know you, which is what she also wants to do on the date.
Getting a second date hangs on your ability to engage in natural, enjoyable and interesting conversation. She wants to feel desirable emotions when talking to you, rather than hear you rattle on about yourself and your achievements, or watch you sit there in a stunned silence because you’re nervous.
Reason Four: Being Too Keen
If you’re on a date with a really hot woman that you really like, it’s natural that you’re going to want to secure a second date, but if you come across as too keen to the point where she feels like you probably don’t deserve her, then she’ll be turned off.
Women recognize a good thing when they see it, but they don’t like that good thing to be too easy to “catch.” Instead, a woman wants to experience the thrill of the chase first.
Some guys make the mistake of becoming infatuated by a woman and declaring their absolute devotion to her, even before she’s had the chance to develop her feelings and experience a desire to snag you as her boyfriend, before another girl comes along and takes you.
If she gets the impress that you’re desperate to get her and probably couldn’t get many or any other girls like her, it will turn her off. She wants to be getting a good deal out of the relationship too, rather than feeling like she is doing you a favor by hooking up with you.
If she’s an attractive woman, she will be used to guys coming along and falling in love with her instantly. In fact, my current beautiful girlfriend told me about how much she used to hate how guys would tell her that they loved her within minutes or hours of meeting her. It happened to her all the time and she always had the same reaction: End of conversation or no second date.
“I’ve been dating since I was fifteen. I’m exhausted. Where is he?” – Kirstin Davis, Actress
Some guys even go as far as bringing a gift (or gifts!) to a first date to show their love and devotion upfront. This is a huge turn of for most women because they want to earn that type of treatment from you over time, rather than being given it all upfront just for going on a date!
Personally speaking, I never get women gifts except for their birthday and at Christmas time. Even then, I’d like to avoid it if I could because I believe that being with me is enough of a gift to a woman. I really feel that a girl is lucky to have a guy like me and because of that, girls think the same way about me.
Reason Five: Not Being Keen Enough
Okay, this seems to fly in the face of the last point, right? However, there’s a fine line between being too keen and not being keen enough. If you act too keen, she will probably think you’re desperate and don’t deserve her.
If you don’t show enough interest, she will assume you don’t like her or don’t believe you can have her. So, it’s important to show interest, but just come across as though you are 100% sold on her and that she will never, ever have to do anything else to impress you ever again.
While this might seem like some kind of impossible balancing act or unnecessary “game” that needs to be played, it’s actually quite easy to do. It’s the default mating dance that humans all over the world instinctively perform to ensure they are choosing the right person.
Some guys might feel annoyed at women for wanting to play a little first, but it is simply a result of humans being an intelligent species. If a male lion wants to have sex with a female lion, he has to come into the other lion’s territory and fight or kill him. This demonstrates to the female lion that he is strong and can protect her.
If a male human wants to have sex with a female human, he has to show her that he has the social and emotional intelligence that is critical for survival in the human world. This demonstrates to the female human that the guy has what it takes to thrive, prosper and survive in our challenging modern world.
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