Sometimes a woman still loves her ex and wants him back, but won’t make it obvious.

You can’t know for sure, but you can look out for common signs that signs that she still loves you and secretly wants to get back together.

1. She keeps reaching out to you and then pulling away when she sees that you want a relationship

Sometimes a woman will still have feelings for her ex, so the idea of getting back with him is something that she’s willing to think about.

She’s open to it.

Yet, that doesn’t mean she wants to be rushed into making a decision right away.

Instead, in many cases, a woman like that wants to take things slow and see if her ex has actually changed before she makes her decision.

So, if she reaches out to her ex and he immediately starts putting pressure on her to get back together without first letting her experience the changes in him (based on how he now talks to her and reacts to her), she will feel like he is wanting a relationship too soon.

As a result, she may think something like, “I do have feelings for him, but I just don’t feel right about getting back into a relationship immediately. I could end up regretting it and having to go through the pain of another break up. At this point, I don’t even know if he has truly understood why I broke up with him and been able to change those things about himself.”

For example: She may have broken up with him because he was too soft, too nice and allowed her to have too much power over him in the relationship.

In cases like that, she will want to see that he is now more ballsy, confident and assertive, while still being a good guy.

Alternatively, she may have broken up with him because he took her for granted, treated her badly and made her feel unloved,

In a cases like that, a woman will want to see that her ex man is now a more genuinely loving, balanced man who appreciates her and loves her, but hasn’t become desperate and changed into a soppy romantic type of guy to hopefully win her back.

Essentially, the woman wants to see if her ex man is now attractive to her or not and if he now understands how to maintain a happy, successful relationship with a woman.

She keeps reaching out to you and then pulling away when she sees that you want a relationship

So, if your ex has been reaching out to you and then pulling away, it may be because you’ve been pushing for a relationship, or hinting at a relationship before allowing her to experience the relevant changes in you.

If that’s the case for you, then stop focusing on a relationship with her and start focusing on re-attracting her and making her want you in a sexual and romantic way.

When you do that, she will naturally want to have a relationship with you again, or at least hook up with you again to see how she feels afterwards.

Another sign that she loves you and wants you back is…

2. She says that she loves you or misses you, but isn’t sure if the relationship would work

She says she loves you, or misses you, but isn't sure if the relationship would work

Imagine this…

You’re talking to your ex on the phone and she then says something like, “You know, I really do miss you.”

If you then say something like, “I miss you too. If that’s how we feel, why don’t we just get back together?” she may respond by saying, “I’m not sure that’s a good idea. We miss each other yes, but the relationship probably wouldn’t work. I don’t want to go through another break up with you. It hurts too much.”

Although that may sound like she’s saying “No,” to the idea of getting back with you, the truth is, she’s simply hinting that she wants you to prove to her that things will be different between you if she says, “Yes.”

How can you do that?

Not by saying that things will be different, but by letting her feel and experience the difference as she interacts with you.

For example: You can do that by reacting differently than you used to before (e.g. if you and her have a disagreement about something, rather than getting upset or angry, you now use humor to ease the tension and turn the situation back to feelings of laughter and love).

You can also show her that you’re no longer making the same old mistakes as before (e.g. you are no longer feeling insecure, jealous or needy and are now a confident, trusting and emotionally independent man).

When she can see that you’re already begin changing into the kind of man she always wanted you to be, her uncertainty about giving you another chance will automatically fade away.

Her guard will come down and she will open up to being your girl again.

Another sign that she loves you and wants you back is…

3. She puts a lot of effort into impressing you via text, but keeps backing away when you try to get her to meet up

If a woman isn’t interested in getting back with her ex, then she usually won’t put any effort into texting him after the break up.

In fact, in many cases, a woman will completely ignore her ex after breaking up with him and might even go as far as blocking him.

While ignoring him, or while he is blocked, she will then try to move on by finding herself a new man, or enjoying single life for a while (e.g. partying with her girlfriends, hooking up with random guys).

Soon enough, her ex will start to seem like a distant memory.

So, if your ex has been texting you and seeming to put a lot of effort into her texts to you (e.g. joking with you, trying to impress you, discussing things with you), then she most likely still loves you and wants to be in a relationship with you.

However, she might also still have her doubts about whether the relationship could work this time around.

Alternatively, she might be worried about getting her heart broken (e.g. if she gets back with you, is enjoying the relationship and you then decide to break up with her to get revenge), or turned off by the idea of having to potentially deal with another emotionally draining break up if things don’t go well.

As a result, she will back away when you try to secure a meet up with her and will say things like, “I need more time” or, “I’m not sure yet” and so on.

In cases like that, you just need to ensure that you’re not giving her the impression that your number one goal is to get her to commit to a relationship with you.

Instead, let the interactions that you have with her be enjoyable, free of any pressure to commit to anything and more importantly, full of sexual tension.

The more sexual tension you build up between you and your ex, the more she will want to see you in person, to then release that sexual tension with hugging, kissing and sex.

Another sign that she loves you and wants you back is…

4. Your gut instinct tells you that she is keen, but she tries to act like she isn’t

If a woman has broken up with a guy, but still secretly loves him, she will often keep that to herself and even pretend as though she isn’t interested in getting back with him at all.


Each woman will do it for slightly different reasons, but some of those include:

  • To hopefully maintain the position of power (i.e. as the one who dumped him and doesn’t really want him back) as she gets back into the relationship.
  • To see if her ex will give up because he feels rejected, therefore showing her that he lacks the emotional strength and resilience that women look for men in.
  • To see if her ex gives up because he didn’t really care about getting her back for real and was only initially trying to make himself feel better (i.e. by seeing that he could get her back temporarily).
  • To see if her ex will lose control of his emotions (e.g. start crying to her, get angry, pour his heart out to her in a desperate attempt to win her over) or if he will maintain control of his emotions like a real man and just guide her back into a relationship.

So, if you remain calm and confidently focus on reawakening her sexual and romantic feelings and guiding her back into a relationship, then she will go along with it.

Yet, if you give up hope at her first sign of resistance or lose control of your emotions, then she will most-likely take that as a signal that you’re not going to be able to give her the attraction experience she really wants from a relationship.

She will likely then decide to focus her efforts on getting over you by moving on with someone else who can give her what she wants.

Don’t let that happen to you and her.

If your gut instinct is telling you that she is keen, or even open to getting back with you, then make it happen while you still can.

Another sign that she loves you and wants you back is…

5. She talks about good memories you and her had

When interacting with her ex guy, a woman will sometimes talk about good times they shared together.

Sometimes, it will just be a passing thought and she will mention it, but other times, she will talk about good memories because she misses them and misses you.

Additionally, in most cases, if a woman doesn’t want to get back with her ex, she will usually try to avoid talking about good memories.


She doesn’t want to open up a conversation that may seduce her back into a relationship, by causing her to miss her ex, want to see him and want to experience more good memories with him.

So, if your ex is talking positively about the past, it’s usually a strong sign that she still loves you and is hoping you will pick up on that and make a move to get her back.

This is why, you should waste this chance by feeling uncertain and wondering, “Does she, or doesn’t she?”

Just take action and begin re-attracting her right away.

Before you know it, you and her will be back together.

Can you imagine it?

Hugging her and feeling the softness and warmth of her body against yours.

Kissing her and feeling her lovingly kissing you back.

Having sex with her and touching her body the way you used to.

Hanging out with her and seeing her smile, laugh and enjoy herself around you and then cuddle into you and show you the love you deserve.

You can have that again, but you have to make a move.

You have to stop doubting yourself and start re-attracting her and guiding her back into a relationship.

Another sign that she loves you and wants you back is…

6. Her friends or your mutual friends say that she still isn’t over you

After a break up, a woman will often turn to her friends for emotional support while she tries to get over her ex.

She may hope that they will tell her what a jerk he is and that she’s better off without him, so she can feel better about the break up.

Yet, in some cases, a woman will struggle to get over her ex and move on, which can result in her talking to her friends about him in a more positive way.

She will mention how good things used to be at the start, but that the relationship fell apart due to whatever happened.

If her friends, or their mutual friends, notice that she misses him and is probably still in love with him (even though she doesn’t openly say it), they might take the initiative and try to get them back together again, by telling him that she probably isn’t over him yet, or is probably still open to getting back together if he plays his cards right.

Essentially, they’re hoping that he will take the hint and initiate the ex back process with her while he still can.

So, if you’ve heard from her friends or mutual friends that you had, or have been getting hints that she isn’t over you, then make a move.

Another sign that she loves you and wants you back is…

7. She flirts with you, but is afraid to express her love for you

She flirts with you, but is afraid to express her love for you

As you may have noticed by dating other women, some women are very obvious when they express their interest in you, but many women feel shy about expressing their feelings because they worry about being rejected by you (i.e. by seeming too keen or easy, by misreading your signals and assuming you like her, but finding out that you only see her as a friend).

A lot of women are good at acting like they aren’t afraid of rejection, or aren’t even interested in guys, but the reality is that almost all women fear rejection and are super keen to find themselves a boyfriend.

Now, in your case, you’re dealing with an ex woman and the same fears and insecurities that women experience also apply to a getting back together after a break up.

For example: Sometimes a woman will worry that her ex could be angry with her for leaving him and would therefore want to get revenge on her by getting back with her and then dumping her.

That way, he can walk away as the dumper and she is the one who got rejected and left behind.

This is why, rather than saying how she feels (i.e. “I still love you and I want us to get back together”), a woman will simply flirts with her ex to see how he responds.

If he flirts back with her, shows some subtle interest and then takes action to get her back, she will be less worried about getting rejected if she shows a little more interest.

On the other hand, if she flirts with him and he just responds and reacts in a way that suggests he and her are only friends, then she will usually just assume that he’s no longer interested in her in a sexual and romantic way.

To avoid getting her hopes up and then being rejected, she will then focus on getting over him by dating and hooking up with other man.

So, if your ex has flirted with you lately, or the last time you interacted (even if that was months ago), don’t sit around waiting for your her to tell you that she loves you and wants you back.

Instead, be man enough to take the lead and get her back, with or without her giving you any more clear signs that she wants you to.

4 Mistakes That Can Reduce Your Chances of Getting Her Back

1. Being too gentle with her to the point where you begin to seem unattractive to her

After a break up, a guy will sometimes make the mistake of being on his very best behavior around his ex girl.

Basically, he’s hoping that if she sees how gentle and patient he’s being, she will drop her guard and open herself up to giving him another chance because he’s such a nice, respectful guy.

Unfortunately though, in most cases, the opposite happens because she looks at his attempts to be really nice as a desperate ploy to make her take pity on him.

Women don’t want to be with a guy out of pity.

A woman wants to be with a man that she can look up to and respect, not a guy who submits to her and allows her to walk all over him, just so he can make her want him again, or a guy who turns into a really nice guy because he has no idea how to re-attract her.

So, if you want your ex woman back, make sure she doesn’t look at your approach to her as being needy, wimpy or soft.

Instead, be an emotionally strong, confident and assertive, while also being a good man to her.

When she sees that you’re are able to be manly, but loving when under pressure, she knows that you understand what really makes a woman feel attracted and are desperately trying to seek pity and hope that she will feel sorry for you enough to feel attracted to you and give you another chance.

Some guys are able to get a second chance from a woman’s feelings of pity, but it never lasts.

If you want to get back and have the relationship last, you have to do what makes women feel attracted and in love with a man.

2. Hoping that she will admit how much she loves you, if you keep telling her how much you love her

If a woman senses that a guy doesn’t have the balls to make a move (i.e. call her, arrange a meet up and get her back) and is trying to text or email his way back into a relationship, then her guard will go up.

Women aren’t attracted to fear in men.

So, don’t use a fearful approach where you are afraid of being rejected and are hoping that she will take all the risks (e.g. admit that she loves you), so you can then get her back.

You’ve got to be courageous when getting an ex back, while also using an approach that causes her to feel a renewed sense of respect, attraction and love for you.

That is what works.

On the other hand, being fearful and hiding behind text messages, emails or social media likes or comments, will almost certainly lead to her assuming that you don’t have the guts to guide her back into a relationship.

If she feels that way, she will naturally feel attracted to other men who display more confidence and courage than you.

3. Promising to never hurt her, if she will just give you another chance

Even though you are sincere and have every intention to keep your word, she may see your promise as you trying whatever you can to make her take some pity on you to hopefully give you another chance.

What actually works is when you let your your attitude, actions and behavior do the convincing for you, rather than trying to convince her with words.

In other words, rather than making her a whole bunch of promises, just let her experience new, more appealing emotions when she interacts with you, so she can see that there is a spark between you and her that she doesn’t want to lose.

Another common mistake to avoid in a situation like yours is…

4. Waiting for her to hopefully make a move and try to get you back

What if she really does love you and would be open to getting back with you, but she can never seem to overcome her fear of potentially being rejected by you, if she lets you know that she is interested?

What if that fear holds her back and you then miss out on your chance to be with her?

What if she is missing you right now and is hoping that you contact her and get her back?

Just do it.

Realize that, as the man, it’s your role to be the more courageous one after a break up to get the ex back process started.

Don’t miss your chance and regret it for the rest of your life.

Get her back while you still can.

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