There are so many good men out there who find themselves in a relationship with a woman that is falling apart.
It’s either on a fast track to breaking up, or is slowly dying and falling apart over time.
When a man finds himself in that situation, he won’t always know what to do.
He won’t always know the answer or solution, but he will usually try.
He’ll try a bunch of things and hope that it fixes the problem and gets his woman to love him again, feel attracted to him, be respectful towards him, be affectionate towards him and so on.
Yet, in many cases, a man will use one of the following approaches, which ends up causing more problems in the relationship rather than fixing it, keeping it together and getting his woman to treat him the way that he wants to be treated.
1. Saying that he won’t put up with her behavior anymore
If a man and a woman are in the early stages of dating and she wants to become his girlfriend, but she’s being a bit of a pain in the butt and he then says that he’s not going to put up with her behavior anymore; that approach can work and make her feel motivated to stop being a pain in the butt, so, she gets to be his girlfriend.
Yet, in a long term relationship or a marriage, if a man is trying to get the type of behavior or relationship dynamic that he wants with his woman, by giving her ultimatums of, if you don’t do this, then I’m not going to be with you anymore, it simply doesn’t work in the long run.
If a man really wants to be with this woman and is only using ultimatums as a technique to hopefully get her to treat him better, or get the type of relationship dynamic he wants, then all she has to do is eventually say, “Fine! It’s over then. I’m leaving.”
What is he going to do then?
He has played his best card.
He has said, “If you don’t behave better, if you don’t treat me better, if you don’t do this or that, then I’m not going put up with it anymore. We’re going to be finished.”
She then has accepted that and said, “Fine, it’s over.”
So, rather than a man painting himself into a corner like that, where he doesn’t really have any other option because he is playing that card of, “Hey, I’m not going to put up with your behavior anymore;” what works instead is to create a relationship dynamic where both you and her feel loved and supported, you feel like you’ve got each other’s back.
Neither of you is going to suddenly walk out the door because one of you isn’t behaving in a way that you don’t appreciate.
Instead, you’re going to have a relationship dynamic where both of you are in this for the long term.
You love each other and have each other’s back.
You are supportive, you are patient with each other and the relationship is going to get better and better over time.
When a woman gets the sense that she’s in a relationship like that, then she will feel motivated to be a better version of herself as time goes on.
Now, of course, it doesn’t work if the man is just putting up with whatever the woman is doing and saying, “Don’t worry, you take your time, you just treat me badly for the next 5 or 10 years.”
That doesn’t work.
It’s not about being desperate, needy and allowing a woman to treat you badly.
Instead, it’s about creating a relationship dynamic where she feels motivated to treat you well.
When she treats you well, she feels good about herself.
She feels closer to you and continues to feel drawn to you as the relationship continues.
Okay, so, the next thing that can ruin a relationship rather than revive it is…
2. Making the relationship all about what she wants
Sometimes a guy will get to the point where he just gives up and decides to do whatever the woman wants.
He hopes that if he does whatever she wants, then she’s going to be happy and in return, she will give him the respect, love, and devotion that he wants and deserves.
Yet, it just doesn’t work that way because a woman’s sexual and romantic feelings don’t come from a guy just being a good guy.
That’s why nice guys struggle with women.
Nice guys hope that women will like them because they’re being nice to them.
The thing is, there’s nothing wrong with being a good man and treating a woman well in a relationship and there’s also nothing wrong with doing some of the things that a woman wants to do, in order to be a good man to her.
There’s nothing wrong with that.
Yet, if you ever try to get the behavior that you want from her (i.e. love, attraction, affection and respect) based on you doing whatever she wants, it’s never going to work.
It’s never going to be a happy relationship.
Part of what makes a relationship happy is when a woman knows her place, which is beneath you in terms of dominance.
She knows that even though you love her and care about her, she can’t get her way all the time and she actually respects that about you.
It’s also one of the things that makes her feel attracted to you.
On the other hand, when a man makes a relationship all about what the woman wants, she doesn’t respect him because women don’t respect men who allow themselves to be walked all over by a woman.
If he can’t stand up to her, then he is the submissive one in the relationship and she’s the dominant one and for the majority of women out there, that’s just not attractive.
So, despite the fact that he’s trying his best to make her happy, it won’t ever work.
By creating that type of relationship dynamic, he won’t get the love, respect and affection that he wants and deserves.
Another thing that can ruin a relationship rather than revive it is…
3. When a man begins acting as though he doesn’t care anymore
The thing is, this works differently for early dating relationships versus long-term relationships or marriages.
If a guy is in an early dating relationship with a woman, he’s sleeping with her, she’s enjoying it and she wants to be his girlfriend, but she can see that he isn’t chasing her, then, that (i.e. behaving as though he doesn’t care anymore) can cause her to chase after him and to try to become his girlfriend.
Yet, if a man is in a long-term relationship or a marriage that is about to fall apart or is still together, but is slowly falling apart, then acting like he doesn’t care anymore isn’t going to help.
It’s just going to cause more problems.
Now, acting like he doesn’t care can be based on his attitude towards her and the relationship, or it can be based on him just not paying much attention to her.
He’s giving her lots of space and letting her see that he doesn’t care that the relationship is falling apart.
If she wants to fix the relationship, she’s going to have to work on it, she’s going to have to do something about it because he just doesn’t care anymore.
Using that approach in a long-term relationship or a marriage might buy a guy some time, but his woman is going to slowly disconnect from her love for him.
She’s going to slowly start feeling used to being on her own, or hardly having him in her life.
They may be living in the same house together, but they are disconnected and she then starts to get used to that.
She then begins trying to connect with other people and if she starts to connect with a man who is trying to hit on her, she may feel good about herself that a guy is showing her interest and she may use that against her man.
She might say to him that there’s a guy at work who likes her and they’ve been talking a lot, to hopefully spark her man into actually caring.
Additionally, if there’s a problem in the relationship such as they don’t really have much of a sex life anymore and he is then ignoring her in the hope that it will make her come at him and want to have sex, it will rarely work out that way.
Instead, the relationship will just become more distant and one day, the woman may say to him that she’s not in love with him anymore and she’s thinking about breaking up with him and so on.
So, that’s why if a man is experiencing relationship problems with his woman and the relationship is about to end or is slowly dying, he shouldn’t use the approach where he acts like he doesn’t care because that will almost always backfire.
The next thing that can ruin a relationship rather than revive it is…
4. When a man begins pouring his heart out and telling her how much she means to him, in the hope that it will help fix their relationship problems
If a relationship is almost about to break up, or if a man finds himself in a relationship where his woman isn’t showing him the love that he wants to be shown, telling her how much she means to him and how much he loves her, isn’t going to fix the problem.
The thing is, if a man has been emotionally closed up and hasn’t ever told his woman that he loves her and that she means a lot to him, then great.
He can go ahead and tell her that as long as he does it in a manly way, where he is not getting all teary or anything like that.
He tells her in a matter-of-fact type of way.
Women definitely appreciate that and it definitely does work.
However, if the relationship is about to break up because of all sorts of relationship problems, or if the spark isn’t there anymore and the man tries to fix that by telling her how much she means to him, it’s just not going to work.
The reason why is that a man having feelings for a woman doesn’t mean that she will then have feelings for him in return.
It doesn’t work that way.
The way that it works is that a woman will have feelings for a man if his approach to her and the relationship makes her respect him, appreciate him and not want to lose him.
This is why when a man pours his heart out to a woman in a relationship in the hope of making her care about him in return, it just doesn’t work.
The feelings have to be mutual for her to care and if the feelings aren’t mutual, a man needs to change the relationship dynamic, so she now respects him, appreciates him and doesn’t want to lose him.
5. Focusing on trying to look better
Sometimes a man won’t know what to do to get his woman to look at him the way that she used to.
To look at him with attraction in her eyes, with love in her eyes.
She used to look at him that way, but now she doesn’t.
So, some guys will think, “Okay, I need to go to the gym more, I need to get better clothes, I need to get a better haircut” and so on.
Now, there’s nothing wrong with a man going to the gym.
There’s nothing wrong with a man wearing nice clothes, or getting a nice haircut.
That’s all great.
Yet, a woman can instantly destroy a man’s many months of effort to build up muscles by saying to him, “I preferred your body before, I don’t like all your new muscles. It doesn’t look good on you.”
Alternatively, a guy might go to a lot of effort to improve his skin, his hairstyle or wear better clothes and he might get a reaction from his woman where she says, “Oh, that looks nice” or, “Your skin looks younger” or, “Your hair looks cool” or, “That’s a nice jacket.”
Yet, she doesn’t jump all over him and start having sex with him the way that she used to.
She doesn’t look at him with attraction and love in her eyes.
It’s not happening for him.
In most cases, it’s going to be because the guy isn’t aware that most of the attraction a woman will feel for a man happens in the moment.
It’s about how you interact with her, how you come across, your body language, your behavior, your vibe, how you talk to her, how you react to her and so on.
As I said, there’s nothing wrong with a man going to the gym, making himself strong and looking good physically and there’s nothing wrong with a man wearing nice clothes or getting a great haircut, but none of those things are the answer to problems in a relationship with a woman.
6. Going to therapy sessions with her
Some therapists and couples’ counselors can be of help to a couple.
Yet, over the years, I’ve heard from so many men who have gone to therapy, or counseling with their women and it’s only made the relationship worse.
The reason why is that most therapists have to be politically correct, or they have no idea how to attract women.
So, in almost all cases, the therapist or counselor will be politically correct, take the woman’s side and tell the man to be nicer than he’s already being.
Listen more, help around the house, do more for her and so on, which doesn’t work.
Instead, it just makes the woman lose more respect and attraction for him in the long run because he seemed weakened, overpowered and emasculated (i.e. deprived of his male role or identity).
7. Telling her how her behavior hurts him
Not knowing what else to do, some good men will try to show their woman how her behavior is hurting them.
The man will explain to her that he feels unloved, unwanted and even lonely in the relationship.
Now, with that type of approach, a man may get an initial agreement from the woman that she’s going to treat him better, but it’s not going to work if her behavior is happening as a reaction to the relationship dynamic.
What do I mean by that?
One example of that is where a man’s approach to the relationship, or his behavior around his woman gives her a sense that she is the more valuable one in the relationship and he is worried about losing her.
Almost all women don’t like that relationship dynamic, especially in the long run.
It’s not something that makes a woman feel drawn to a guy, feel respectful towards him and feel motivated to want to treat him well because she begins to look down on him as being less than valuable than her, or as being a desperate guy that needs her more than she needs him.
The relationship dynamic that most women want, is to feel loved by their man and to feel as though he really does want to be with her and isn’t planning on leaving her.
Yet, a woman also wants to have that feeling where she knows that she’d be totally devastated if she lost you.
Most women want to be in that position where they feel lucky to have a great man like you.
A woman doesn’t want to be in a position where you are making her feel like you are so lucky to have her and would be totally screwed emotionally if she left you.
If you want to be treated well, respected and loved long term in a relationship with a woman, it comes from the relationship dynamic or the structure that you set up in the relationship.
If you’ve set up a particular structure in a relationship that isn’t working, always remember that you can change it.
When you interact with your woman from now on, you can start to react to her differently, you can start to talk to her differently and you can bring out a completely different side of her and yourself in the relationship.
You and her can feel a newfound respect and attraction for each other and you can keep that alive for life.
She Has it Within Her to Be the Woman You Really Want Her to Be
One final point that I want to make for you in this video, is that every woman has it inside of her to treat her man better, to be more respectful towards him, to be more loving and affectionate.
An example of this is where a man and a woman are in a relationship and he doesn’t bring that side of her out.
They end up breaking up.
She then gets into another relationship and the guy does bring that side of her out.
She is loving and respectful towards him, she treats him well, she is affectionate and so on for life.
Now, it’s not as if the previous guy couldn’t have made her be more respectful, loving, and affectionate towards him.
He could have if he changed the relationship dynamic.
The new guy used a different approach to his relationship with her and it brought out her respectful, loving, and affectionate side.
What I want you to understand is that, when you’re in a relationship with a woman, you can have a relationship dynamic where love flows, where both you and her feel mutual respect, attraction and love.
You don’t have to settle for anything less than that.
I hope you enjoyed this video and learned something from it.
If you have struggled to keep relationships together in the past, or if you’re in a relationship at the moment that is falling apart or isn’t in love anymore, then I recommend that you watch or listen to my program, Make Her Love You For Life.
When you watch or listen to the program, you will learn the ultimate relationship dynamic that causes you and your woman to feel increasing amounts of respect, attraction and love for each other over time.
Amongst many other important things, you will learn my best communication methods in relationships that avoid arguments, avoid misunderstandings and bring you and your woman closer together.
You and her feel so in love and so connected that you only want to be with each other.
You are completely committed to each other, you feel attracted to each other and you’re in love for life.
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