Making your ex love you again is easy.
Yet, if you make any of the following mistakes, it becomes difficult because she feels turned off and can’t fully respect you.
So, if you want to make your ex love you again, be sure not to ruin her feelings with…
1. Needy communication
When a guy gets broken up with, the reality of what just happened might cause him to panic and react in ways that he normally wouldn’t.
He might start thinking, “She is mine! I’m not going to let some other guy take her from me. I will to do whatever it takes to get her love back.”
It’s fine to want your ex back, but the thing that turns a woman off is when a man starts communicating with her in a desperate, needy way.
For example: He might…
- Send her numerous text messages explaining his feelings for her, apologizing and trying to convince her why she should give him another chance.
- Bombard her with texts so he is on her mind all the time, in the hope that she will eventually realize how much she still loves him.
- Always respond to any communication from her (e.g. a text, social media message, or a phone call) instantly or very quickly.
- Try to make her feel sorry for him by telling her that his life means nothing without her, or that he is sad and can’t function at work or university.
Yet, rather than make a woman think, “Wow, he must really love me so much. That must mean that he is the one for me. So, how can I possibly give up on the love we shared? I’ve been too hard on him. Maybe it’s time to get back together again,” she will think something like, “Why doesn’t he leave me alone? Does he really think that being needy, clingy and insecure every time he gets in touch with me is going to make me suddenly love him again? Doesn’t he realize that neediness and desperation are qualities that women find unattractive in a man? Even if I had my doubts about breaking up with him before, his recent needy behavior has convinced me that he’s simply not man enough for me. I need a man I can look up to and respect, not a needy little boy that I have to take care of. He just doesn’t understand how to be a man in this situation, or in many of the situations that we encountered in our relationship.”
Even though she would happily give him another chance if he approached getting her back correctly, he’s messing it up by being needy.
Most guys get stuck at the basic step of apologizing for their mistakes and asking for another chance, but they never really progress past that.
If you want to make your ex love you again, don’t make her think that you’re a needy, desperate guy who is lost without her and doesn’t know what else to do but apologize and ask for another chance.
Instead, focus on saying and doing the types of things that will re-spark her feelings of respect and attraction for you (e.g. being confident and emotionally mature, being more charismatic and charming, making her smile and laugh, making her feel girly in comparison to how masculine you think, talk, feel and behave).
When it feels good to her to be interacting with you again, she will be a lot more motivated to want to meet up with you and see if you and her can rekindle the love that you once shared.
The next thing that makes it difficult for an ex to love you again is…
2. Not fixing the things about you that secretly turn her off
When a woman is saying things like, “Look, it’s over between us. We gave it our best shot and now we need to say goodbye and go our separate ways. We’re just not compatible with each other. We want different things from a relationship,” a guy might then start offering to change all sorts of things that she doesn’t really care about.
For example: A woman might want her ex to be more of a man around her.
Yet, he might say to her, “Please don’t go. I can change. I promise that if you just give me one more chance I will be the best boyfriend (fiancé or husband) in the world. I’ll be more attentive. I’ll treat you better than ever before and I’ll make sure you get everything your heart desires.”
That’s not what she is asking for, so rather than make her change her mind and give him another chance, it just turns her off even more.
He is offering to change things about himself that she doesn’t really care about (i.e. he’s promising to treat her better, but what she really wants is for him to be more ballsy and more of a man around her).
So, if you want to make your ex love you again, you first need to understand the real reasons why she broke up with you.
Then, when you next interact with her, you can show her that you’re no longer turning her off in the ways that you used to.
For example: If a woman broke up with a guy because he lacked confidence and was too insecure and emotionally sensitive, he has to show her that he has become more confident now.
He is emotionally strong and no longer doubts himself around her, becomes emotionally sensitive when she tests his confidence (i.e. by throwing a tantrum, acting like she isn’t interested, teasing him).
Another example is if a woman broke up with a guy for being too nice and allowing her to push him around.
To show her that he’s not that guy anymore he needs to be more ballsy around her by standing up for himself in an assertive, but loving way.
When a woman can see that you’ve changed without needing her help or guidance, she will naturally begin to feel respect and attraction for you and it then becomes a lot easier for her to love you again.
Another mistake that will make it difficult for your ex to love you is…
3. Asking her to help you understand what you need to say and do to get her back
When a guy realizes that he needs to change to get his ex back, he will usually say to her, “Just tell me what you want. I’ll do anything for you. Please help me understand what I did wrong. Tell me what turned you off about me and I will fix it. Just give me one more chance to show you that things can be different between us.”
He’s likely thinking that by asking her to help him understand what he needs to do to get her back, it will make her happy because it will show her how much he cares.
Yet, that’s not what a woman wants.
A woman doesn’t want to take on the role of being a guy’s guide or teacher in life and have to teach him how to be attractive to her.
She wants him to figure it out on his own (or with the help of male friends or role models), so that she can look up to him and respect him as a man, rather than look down on him and feel like she has to take care of him like his mother or big sister.
4. Being too emotionally sensitive
When a woman breaks up with a guy, she will usually make it difficult for him to interact with her from then on.
For example: She might refuse to answer his texts, or talk to him on the phone, or she might ignore him on social media.
If she does happen to bump into him (e.g. if they work together, or go to university together, have mutual friends, live in the same apartment building), she might be cold, distant and even a little bit bitchy towards him.
If the guy then becomes emotional and starts asking her, “Why are you doing this to me? How can you be so cold after everything we’ve been through together? Doesn’t the love that we shared mean anything to you? Is your heart made of stone? I still love you, you know! Why can’t you at least talk to me nicely? Why are you so closed off? Please, just stop ignoring me from now on and give me one more chance to make things up to you. You might have been able to get over me, but I am not over you. I can’t even function properly at work. Please just give us a chance to work things out.”
Yet, rather than make her think, “He’s right. I am being a bitch towards him. After all we did love each other. I owe it to him to give him another chance,” she will be thinking something like, “If he thinks that behaving like a lost boy who needs his mommy is going to make me love him again, he’s got it all wrong.”
Although a guy might feel frustrated and hurt that his ex is shutting him out of her life completely, the only way for him to make her stop giving him the cold shoulder and open herself up to loving him again is by rebuilding her feelings of respect and attraction for him.
How can he do that?
By thinking, talking and behaving in some of the ways that are naturally attractive to women (e.g. being confident around her and changing her mood by making her smile and laugh when she is being bitchy and cold).
So, if you really want to convince your ex to try again and not give up on your love, focus on making her feel respect and attraction for you again, rather than expecting her to care that you were once in love with each other.
When she’s feeling attracted to the new and improved you, reconnecting with her original feelings of love for you will happen automatically because it now feels good to her.
5. Trying to convince her to give you another chance by having long, drawn out conversations with her
Nothing that you can say to a woman will make her change her mind if she doesn’t have feelings for you.
You have to trigger her feelings first before she opens herself up to hear what you have to say.
Watch this video to see what I mean…
Since most guys don’t know how to re-attract their ex, they try to use whatever approach they are able to do on their own.
Unfortunately, this often means that a guy tries to convince his ex woman to give him another chance, by having long, drawn out, emotional, tiring conversations with her.
Although she might allow the conversation to happen, it’s just not going to make her feel excited to get back with him.
You’ve got to focus on creating a spark again, rather than trying to convince her with all of your logical reasons why you and her should get back together (e.g. you’re a good guy, you will do better this time, you love her).
6. Seeking pity
Sometimes, a guy might try to make his ex woman feel pity for him in the hope that it causes her to feel guilty enough to give him another chance.
Yet, it usually just makes her more determined not to give in to his emotional blackmail and to move on to a more emotionally strong man.
A woman wants to be with a man because it feels right (i.e. she respects him, feels sexually attracted and loves him), not because she’s doing him a favor.
7. Being extra nice
When all else fails, a guy will sometimes resort to being extra nice to his ex by doing whatever she wants and being at her beck and call, in the hopes that she will realize what a great guy he is and then get back together with him.
Yet, even though a woman might appreciate that her ex is being so nice to her, niceness isn’t enough to make her feel respect and sexual attraction for him again.
Fact: Her Love For You Isn’t Dead
A lot of people aren’t aware of the fact that love doesn’t die.
Love can be brought back to life by reactivating a woman’s feelings of respect and attraction for you.
The love that your ex once felt for you is still there, but it has simply been pushed into the background by more negative emotions such as anger, disgust, resentment and disappointment.
You can make her reconnect with the love by guiding her through the ex back process…