If your ex is currently saying things like, “I don’t love you anymore,” it might feel that getting her to change her mind is an impossible dream.
Yet, making you ex love you as much as you love her isn’t as difficult as it might seem to you right now.
Here are the 3 steps that you need to take to make her reconnect with the love she used to feel for you.
When you do that, she will naturally want to get back with you again.
1. Start Giving Her the Attraction Experience That She Secretly Wants
Most women don’t explain the secret, subtle things that they want a man to say and do in every moment to give her the attraction experience they want.
For example: A woman might throw a tantrum and wish her boyfriend (or husband) didn’t take it so seriously.
She wished he would sometimes just laugh at her and the situation, rather than getting sucked into the fake drama she was creating.
Yet, she doesn’t say that to him.
Instead, she just hopes that he “understands her” or “gets her” and is able to read between the lines and realize that, even though she seems really mad because she’s throwing a tantrum, she will actually love him more if he has the balls to guide the interaction back to laughter and love.
If he doesn’t, the tantrum will turn into a heated argument or into him trying to suck up to her to get her to stop.
As a result, she will feel unsatisfied that he isn’t able to give her the attraction experience that she wants in a relationship.
Another example of a man not giving a woman the attraction experience that she wants in a relationship is where he becomes clingy, needy and emotionally sensitive, but she is attracted to emotional strength in men.
She hates it when a guy needs her to be gentle with him, reassure him of her love and essentially mother him, but he just doesn’t know how else to act in a relationship.
She then feels unsatisfied and rather than teaching him how to change, she just falls out of love with him and then breaks up with him.
He is then left feeling lost and wondering how he can make her love him as much as he loves her.
If he then calls her up, crying, begging and saying things like, “I can’t live without you. How can you do this to us? Why can’t you love me as much as I love you? Can’t you see that I feel lost without you? Please don’t do this. You mean everything to me. I need you in my life,” it will turn her off even more.
His need for her will simply confirm to her that he still doesn’t understand how to be an emotionally strong, emotionally mature man and as a result, she will lose even more respect and attraction for him.
On the other hand, if he can start showing her (by the way he talks, thinks, behaves, interacts with her and responds to what she says) that he’s now more confident and emotionally strong, she will automatically feel more attracted to him and respectful of him.
Another example of not giving a woman the attraction experience she wants, is where a guy had no real purpose and direction in his life, which made her feel unsafe and insecure about her future with him.
She couldn’t feel attracted to the man he was and the man he was becoming because he was just stuck and accepted his lot in life.
A woman wants to know that her man is rising through the levels of life by reaching for his true potential as a man, rather than just planning on getting by and never really having a secure future.
A man does not need to have achieved everything before a woman can fully love and respect him again.
Instead, he just has to show her that he’s putting in the effort to become a bigger and better man to ensure a safer future for both of them.
So, the question is: What part of the overall attraction experience of being with a man in a relationship was your ex girlfriend (or wife) missing?
What are your weak points when it comes to relationships and maintaining her attraction for you?
That’s what you need to start improving right now.
By showing your ex (by the way you now think, talk, feel, behave and act) that you’ve fixed some of things that caused her to break up with you in the first place, she subconsciously allows the walls around her heart to come down and begins to feel more respect and attraction for you as a man.
She starts to say to herself, “This is what I wanted from him all along. Now it’s actually possible for me to love him again. This is different.”
2. Reactivate Her Feelings, But Don’t Immediately Pressure Her to Get Back Into a Relationship
One of the best ways to make your ex love you as much as you love her is by actively triggering her feelings of respect and sexual attraction for you.
You can only achieve that by interacting with her on phone calls and in person.
Where many guys go wrong is by thinking that a woman’s feelings will change all by themselves and one day she will call him up and say, “I’ve come to my senses. I love you now. Let’s get back together again.”
So, rather than make the effort to interact with her, like calling her on the phone, or meeting up with her in person, a guy might sit back for weeks and sometimes even months, waiting to hear from her.
Yet, it rarely (if ever) happens.
If a woman doesn’t have any feelings for her ex, not hearing from him will actually be a relief in most cases.
She will think something like, “Cool. He’s leaving me alone. Now I can move on without him. When we do speak again, I’ll make sure that I’ve hooked up with another guy, so I can rub that in his face.”
Meanwhile, the guy ignoring her is hoping, “Hopefully by ignoring her, she starts to love me as much as I love her. She will miss me and realize that I am the one for her.”
Yet, here’s the thing…
If a woman does happen to contact her ex after not hearing from him for a long time, it’s usually to see if he’s still missing her (to make herself feel good about herself), but she’s not going to get back with him.
A woman will rarely get back with a guy that she doesn’t have feelings for.
If you want your ex to have feelings for you, the best way to do that is to interact with her and create a new spark of respect and sexual attraction.
So, don’t waste precious time ignoring your ex in the hopes that the time apart will convince her that she loves you as much as you love her.
Instead, just focus on interacting with her over the phone or in person and create a spark with her again.
Then, when she is feeling attracted again, just give her 3 to 7 days of space so she can start to really miss you.
In most cases that I’ve worked on, the woman will then text or call the man within the 3 to 7 days to say hello.
From there, you just need to continue saying and doing the types of things that will build on her feelings for you (e.g. by making her smile and laugh, being confident and charismatic).
She will then naturally and automatically begin to reconnect with the love that she felt for you before.
3. Be a Man That She Can Now Fully Look Up to and Respect
In a relationship, it’s the man’s responsibility to maintain and build on the respect, sexual attraction and love that his woman feels for him over time.
If he can’t do that for her, a woman will eventually start to ask herself, “Why am I still with him if I don’t love him as much as he loves me? Why am I putting up with second best? I deserve to be with a man that I can look up to and respect, feel attracted to and love. I want a man that I can feel proud of…not someone I have to make excuses for. Maybe him and I have to break up. Maybe he isn’t the one.”
If she continues to see that he doesn’t make much or any effort to build on her feelings for him (e.g. he falls into the habit of taking her for granted, he uses the relationship with her to hide from his true potential as a man, he stops leading the way and allows her to dominate him), she will eventually just break up with him, rather than stick around hoping he will change one day.
The thing is, when a woman loses respect for a guy (e.g. because he becomes insecure, takes her for granted), it becomes increasingly difficult for her to feel sexually attracted to him and when that happens, she will also begin to disconnect with her love for him.
She will then become increasingly cold and distant, until one day she tells him that she no longer loves him and doesn’t want to be with him.
Classic Mistakes That Guys Make When a Woman Falls Out of Love
It hurts when the woman that you love says something like, “I don’t love you anymore” and then breaks up with you.
Sometimes, a guy won’t know how to handle the situation and will begin pouring his heart out to her, begging for another chance or desperately trying to convince her to stay.
So, if you’ve made any of the following mistakes, don’t worry – you can still fix it.
1. Thinking that explaining how much you love her will make her love you back
If a woman doesn’t have feelings for her ex anymore, him saying, “I know we’re broken up, but I want you to know that I am still in love with you and want to be with you. I’ll always love you no matter what,” isn’t going to make much difference to her.
If a woman has lost respect and attraction for her ex, it won’t matter to her that he still loves her.
She just won’t care about his feelings for her because she doesn’t have strong feelings for him.
She might a bit feel sorry for him, but that isn’t going to make her want to be with him.
A woman doesn’t want to have to be with a guy because he wants it because that feels unfair to her and like she is doing him a favor.
Instead, she wants to feel respect, sexual attraction and love for him, which then automatically makes her want to have sex with him and be in a relationship with him.
So, if you want to make you ex love you as much as you love her, you must make her experience the type of feelings she wants to experience when she’s with you (e.g. respect, attraction, love), rather than trying to explain to her how much you love her.
If you don’t re-spark her feelings for you first, she’s just going to keep saying, “Please accept that it’s over,” because she doesn’t care that you love her.
However, when you spark some of her feelings for you first and then build on that, she then starts feeling good about the fact that she loves you and you love her.
It then makes total sense for her to want to get back with you.
Another mistake to avoid is…
2. Thinking that being a nice, supportive friend will make her love you
When a guy is faced with losing his woman forever, he might think, “When she sees that I am the one who is always there for her no matter what, she will realize that she still loves me as much as I love her. We can get back together again and forget about what just happened between us. Yes, that’s what I will do! I will be the nicest ex boyfriend (or husband) a woman has ever known. I will be so supportive, caring and attentive and she will then fall back in love with me because she will realize that no other guy will treat her as well as I do.”
He might then decide to make himself available to her every beck and call, in the hopes that her feelings for him will change.
Yet, in most cases, a woman will assume that friends means friends and he’ll end up being the one hearing all about the new man in her life.
Here’s the thing…
It’s totally fine to remain friends with your ex, but you have to make sure that you are actively making her feel sexually attracted to you.
Watch this video for more info…
If you only focus on making her feel neutral, friendly feelings for you by being a nice, supportive friend, she might keep you around in the background as a friend, but that won’t stop her from having sex or falling in love with a new guy.
So, don’t put yourself in that position with her.
Be her friend by all means, but make sure your friendship with her is only a stepping stone towards making her feel sexually attracted to you again, so she can then begin to fall in love with you again.
Another mistake to avoid is…
3. Thinking that giving her weeks or months of space will eventually make her fall back in love with you
If you’re considering stepping back for a while and giving your ex some space (e.g. ignoring her for a few weeks or months), I recommend that you watch this video…
Although it’s fine to give a woman a few days of space after a break up to allow things to calm down between you and her, anything longer than 3 to 7 days usually causes more harm than good.
For example: If a woman doesn’t hear back from her ex for more than a week, she might…
- Stop feeling sad about the break up and realize that she’s actually going to be okay without her ex.
- Assume that since he hasn’t contacted her in a long time he doesn’t care about her anymore.
- Start going out and meeting new guys and discover that she likes it.
- See him as emotionally immature for not having the balls to call her.
This is why I recommend that men contact their ex woman within 3 to 7 days.
If she doesn’t hear from you after that, she will usually just hook up with a new guy or at least start flirting with new guys to get you out of her mind, so she can begin to properly move on.
Making Your Ex Fall in Love With You All Over Again
Women yearn to be in a relationship with a man who has the emotional strength to guide her into deeper feelings of love over time.
So, if you want to make your ex love you as much as you love her, you need to be the more emotionally courageous one who makes it happen, even if she’s currently saying things like, “Sorry, I’m not interested. Please respect my decision” or, “I just don’t have feelings for you anymore.”
To get her back, you need to make her reconnect with her feelings of respect and attraction for you again.
When she experiences that, she will naturally start to feel love for you again, except this time it will feel more exciting and worthwhile to her.
She then will realize that her love for you is more powerful than she ever knew.
By going through the ex back process, you will show her what true love really feels like and she will be grateful for it.
Getting back with an ex and experiencing a more powerful, exciting and intoxicating love is an amazing experience for a woman.
Don’t deprive her of that.
Let her experience what it’s like to fall back in love with an ex who has become a better man and is now capable of giving her the attraction experience that she always wanted.