You need to be assertive to get a woman back, but that doesn’t mean you should pressure her to decide right now or rush her decision.
You need to confidently guide her back into a relationship by reactivating her feelings and getting to hug, kiss and if applicable, also have sex to reconnect in a physical way.
She will most-likely be resistant to getting back together (most women are after a break up), but if you know that you and her will be so much happier now that you have improved, as a man you need to be emotionally courageous enough to put up with her sometimes cold, distant or stubborn behavior.
When you bring the love back to life and both you and her are happier than ever before, she will appreciate the fact that you loved her enough to endure the ex back process and get the relationship back together.
Most guys feel like it’s too difficult or that it’s impossible to get a woman back, but it’s actually easy when you follow these 3 steps:
- Apologize for your mistakes and let her see that you’ve already changed or improved the things that she broke up with you for (e.g. insecurity, lack of ambition, taking her for granted).
- Switch your focus to making her have some feelings for you (e.g. making her feel attracted to you by using humor, flirting, making her feel girly and feminine around you, etc).
- Guide her back into a relationship.
You’ve already done step 1, right?
Most guys have.
Yet, have you completed steps 2 and 3?
If you are not back with her yet, then you haven’t. You’ve got to keep moving through the ex back process.
By the way, despite what people think…
There’s Nothing Wrong With Wanting Her Back or Getting Her Back
Some people think it’s wrong or weak or whatever to get a woman back.
You love her and you want her back.
There’s absolutely nothing wrong with that.
You are allowed to want her back, and you are allowed to do whatever it takes to get her back as long as you are being a loving man and not trying to hurt her.
If you are trying to get her back because you love her and will make her so much happier this time, you can go through the ex back process without feeling guilty about pressuring her.
At the end of the day, you are doing the right thing if it’s for love.
Just make sure that you do it in a confident, relaxed manner, rather than panicking about losing her and forcefully trying to pressure her into giving you another chance.
For example: Some of the things that can make a woman feel pressured by a guy, include:
- Begging and pleading with her to give him another chance.
- Continually promising her that he’ll do whatever she wants him to do if they get back together again.
- Telling her that he will hurt or kill himself if she doesn’t give him another chance.
- Repeatedly apologizing for his past mistakes in long texts, e-mails, voicemails or social media messages.
- Desperately asking her to tell him what she wants him to change about himself.
- Forcefully trying to convince her by giving her a long list of reasons why they are “perfect” together.
- Trying to make her feel guilty for putting him through so much emotional pain.
- Turning up at her front door uninvited and trying to get her to change her mind.
- Not giving her even one day of space because he is constantly texting, calling or trying to see her.
Here’s the thing..
If you don’t want to pressure your ex, just be more relaxed and easy going about the ex back process.
Interact with her and go through the ex back process, but don’t be so frantic, urgent or panicked about it.
Regardless of what other people (who don’t care about you getting her back) might say, the fact is that you are not doing anything wrong by wanting her back and then being confident enough to re-attract her and guide her back into a relationship.
By approaching it that way, she is going to feel good about getting back with you because she feels attracted and she likes the new you.
She won’t feel like she is being pressured to get back with you, even though haven’t really changed or improved much about yourself and are just trying to get her back because you feel horrible, lonely and rejected without her.
When she feels good about going through the ex back process with you, her guard comes down and she becomes more open to interacting with you again, meeting up with you in person and getting back together.
Where Some Guys Go Wrong
When a woman is resisting any attempts by her ex to restart the relationship (e.g. she’s being cold, distant or stubborn), he might then feel that he needs to be extra sensitive of her feelings and listen to everything she says.
He hopes that by becoming sensitive, soft, caring and gentle, she will feel less pressured and then want to get back with him.
Yet, in the process, he will end up turning her off because women just aren’t attracted to soft, wimpy guys.
What he needs to do is be confident, relaxed and easy-going, but he also needs to be strong, assertive and push the ex back process along.
He can’t just wait for to guide him back into a relationship because if she doesn’t have strong feelings for him, she’s just going to move on.
For example: A woman might say to a guy, “I’m really not sure what I want right now. I don’t know if this relationship is right for me. Please don’t pressure me to make a decision right now, because I can’t. Just give me a month of space to think things through and then we can see what happens after that.”
In most cases, a guy will think, “That’s okay. I can deal with that. She’s only asking me for a month. Who knows, it might even turn out to be a good thing. She will have time to calm down and then she will realize that what we have together was amazing and is too good to throw away, she will be happy to get back together again.”
He will then give her the space that she’s asking for.
Yet, when a month and possibly even two months pass by and he doesn’t hear from her again, he starts to wonder, “Why isn’t she calling me? She said she wants a month of space and I’ve already given her a lot more time than that. I didn’t put pressure on her during that time, so why hasn’t she called me yet?”
The main reason why giving a woman a month (or more) of space after a break up just doesn’t work in most ex back cases.
If a woman doesn’t have feelings for a guy, not having to see him, or deal with him trying to get her back for a month is actually a good thing to her.
Most women use the time, space or distance they’ve asked for to secretly get over him and move on with their life.
This is why I recommend that a guy not give a woman more than 7 days of space before contacting her and continuing on with the ex back process.
Watch this video for more info…
Giving a woman too much space when she doesn’t have strong feelings for her ex is usually a recipe for disaster.
She knows that she doesn’t want him back (because he hasn’t done anything to reactivate her feelings), but she’s also feeling sad, hurt and lonely after the break, so what does she do?
Yes, you guessed it.
She either starts flirting with new guys, goes on dates and possibly even has sex with some of them to completely get over her ex.
That’s not what you want, right?
You want her back.
If you want her back, don’t ever think that you are doing the wrong thing by actively getting her back.
Some people will tell you that it’s weak to chase after her and it’s tougher to ignore her and not care.
Yet, it’s actually weaker to avoid problems than to face them head on.
When you have the confidence, courage and willingness to quickly change and improve yourself and then guide her through the ex back process, you get your ex back.
Yet, if you just sit around hoping that by not contacting her it will lessen the pressure and she will want you back, you’re most likely going to be disappointed.
By the way…
Don’t get me wrong here.
I’m not saying that you should pressure her back into a relationship with you.
Instead, I’m say that you should quickly improve yourself (within 3 to 7 days) and then contact her, re-attract her and guide her through the ex back process.
Most guys don’t realize that it’s possible to do that, so they choose to just wait in the background and hope that everything simply works out.
Yet, while he’s waiting around being emotionally sensitive to her needs and trying to get her back without pressuring her, she will usually go out, have fun and possibly even hook up with other guys.
This is why it’s so important to only give your ex a week of space at most, before contacting her again.
Even if she asks you for a month, I recommend that you call her after a week.
The fact is that you have to stay in touch with her if you’re going to successfully re-spark her feelings of respect, attraction and love for you.
You make her have feelings for you by doing nothing, if she currently has a negative perception of you.
Sure, give her a week to cool off and calm down, but don’t waste time by hoping that giving her more space will make things even better.
In most cases, the woman will simply move on!
When it comes to getting a woman back, absence doesn’t make the heart grow fonder if she doesn’t have feelings for you.
If your ex really does love you and want you back, then yes – ignore her for as long as you like and she will come running back.
Yet, in 80% of the ex back cases that I’ve worked on, the woman starts out not wanting anything to do with the guy anymore because he has ruined her feelings for him.
The only way to get a woman like back is to reactivate her feelings during interactions.
If the guy simply ignores her, she’s just going to move on without him and won’t care at all.
So, don’t worry about whether or not she might feel that you’re pressuring her back into a relationship.
You’re not pressuring her.
You’re just being a confident, relaxed, easy-going and loving man who is creating the opportunity for you and her to give the relationship another shot.
So, get her on a phone call right away.
On the phone call, actively change her feelings for you by making her feel a strong, renewed sense of respect and attraction for you.
Once you’ve re-sparked some of her feelings for you, get her to agree to meet up with you in person to catch up.
It’s much easier to do that than to sit around for weeks or months worrying about her sleeping with other guys.
Get her back!
What if She Says “No” to Your First Request to Catch Up?
Sometimes, a woman will be resistant to the idea of meeting up with her ex because she is afraid of what might happen or what she could feel for him if they talked in person again.
So, she might say something like, “Look, just give me time. I asked for a month of space and now you’re calling me up after only a week. Why can’t you just give me more time? I’m not ready to get back together. I need more time to think about it. I don’t like you pressuring me in this way.”
No matter what she says, don’t get upset or angry and say something like, “I’m sorry! I don’t want you to feel like I’m pressuring you…it’s just that I miss you so much. You’re not being fair to me. You just want everything your way! What about my feelings?”
Don’t say anything like that!
That is the biggest mistakes that a man can make when trying to get a woman back…
Getting upset, or even worse, angry with her is definitely not going to convince her that she wants to see you again and it’s also not going to do anything to re-spark her feelings of respect and attraction for you.
So, if your ex says “No” the first time you ask her to meet up with you and is playing a little bit hard to get, use it as an opportunity to spark her feelings of attraction by making her laugh.
For example: If your ex says, “Look, just give me time. I asked for a month of space and now you’re calling me up after only a week. Why can’t you just give me more time? I’m not ready to get back together. I need more time to think about it. I don’t like you pressuring me in this way,” you can respond by laughing and saying in a joking way, “Oops! Well, I guess I should walk away from your front door then. I’m standing outside with a bunch of helium balloons. I will give them to your neighbor then” and then have a laugh with her about.
She’ll most likely respond by saying, “What? You’re outside my door holding balloons? You’re crazy! Why are you here?”
You can then laugh and say, “No, I’m only kidding! Of course I wouldn’t do that. You know I wouldn’t that kind of guy who turns up at your front door and tries to pressure you into getting back with me. All I am asking for is to catch up to say hello as friends. It’s not about us getting back together. We would be simply catching up to say hello. If after the coffee, you decide that you never want to speak to me again, I will honor that wish and never contact you again. So, how about we catch up for a 10 minute coffee this Tuesday or Wednesday evening this week? Or, do I need to turn up at your front door with balloons?” and then laugh with her about that.
When she notices that you are being easy going and have the confidence to joke around with her, it will actually make her feel a spark of respect and attraction for the new you.
When that happens, she opens herself up to the idea of meeting up with you.
You can then convince her by saying something like, “Look, there’s no pressure about meeting up for 10 minutes over a cup of coffee to say hello to each other. We can do that. It’s no big deal. It doesn’t mean we’re getting back together. It’s just coffee. So, how about it? I’m free on Tuesday and Wednesday this week. Which of those nights suits you best?”
In most cases, a woman will respond by saying something like, “Oh, okay. Maybe just this once, but I’m only staying for 10 minutes” and she’ll tell you which day she’s available.
Then, when you meet up with her in person, you attract her to the new and improved you and then simply guide her through the rest of the ex back process.
Are You Ready to Get Her Back?
Have you improved on your weaknesses and the things that were turning her off?
Are you ready to impress her in person and attract her to the new you?
Watch this video to understand how it works…
As you can see, you don’t need to pressure a woman to get her back.
You simply need to give her the attraction experience that she really wants and then, getting back together feels like a good thing for her too.
It’s not just about you wanting her back anymore.
She is attracted to the new you and enjoys how she feels around you now.
So, just guide her back into a relationship and enjoy the great times ahead with her!